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Modern conveniences that ASOIAF characters will benefit from


AngrySoviet

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*Septon Cellador - alcohol detoxification, therapy treatment for alcohol dependence, regular doses of thiamine (since alcohol tends to cause deficiency in it, leading to heart problems)

* Doran Martell - nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, a low-calorie diet, and daily consumption of Vitamin C. All considered necessary for gout patients.

*Myrcella Baratheon - silicone gel treatments for her scars, reconstructive surgery if needed, safety lectures about trusting/or approaching strange men carrying bladed weapons

*Sandor Clegane- silicone gel treatments for his scars, reconstructive surgery for the burned areas of his skin, regular counseling sessions to deal with mental traumas

*Shae, Tysha, and other sex workers. - an organized sex workers' rights movement, regular work contracts (as in modern Germany), mandatory health checks

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  • 1 month later...

Ned Stark - The technology to keep heads alive in jars.

Tywin Lannister - One of them fancy toilettes that washes your ass for you.

Robert Baratheon - .308 Winchester round. Enough power to stop a charging boar in its tracks. Although given his state of inebriation, a big-ass blunderbuss might be more appropriate.

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Night's Watch (and everyone else for that matter) - central heating

Theon/Reek - shower

Jeyne Poole - pepper spray

Jeyne Poole, Cersei, Sansa, Dany - domestic abuse support centre

Maesters- computers and internet

Everyone - cell phones (or plain phones)

Dany - a GPS system (with easy dragon installation)

Everyone in Meereen - animal sedatives

Tyrion, Robert - internet pornography, strip clubs and the AA (alcoholics anonymous, not Azor Ahai)

Everyone - news bulletins

Robert - sex education

Lysa, Dany, Cersei - vibrators

Jaime - hand transplants, prosthetic hand surgery

the Eyrie - cable cars, modern climbing equipment

Selyse - waxing, laser hair removal

Ramsay - scalpels and other modern medical equipment (for improved flaying), high security psychiatric hospital or prison

Bran - playstation (to pass the time in that cave)

Joffrey - child psychologist

People of Slaver's Bay - inoculation, sewage treatment facility, water filtration system

Wildlings, Night's Watch - thermal underwear, socks, trousers, jackets, boots etc.

Jon, Robb, Arya - shock collars for pet direwolves

Tywin - cubicle door lock (or, rather, privy door lock) with occupied indicator

Aerys Targaryen - royal jet (used for escaping)

Kingsguard, Goldcloaks - FBI-style earphones and mics

Doran Martell - mechanically operated wheelchair

Myrcella - plastic surgery

Theon, Pia, various other characters whose teeth have been shattered - dental implants

Ned, Robert, Jon Arryn, Jon Snow - DNA testing

Jon Snow- internet sites for finding lost family members

Catelyn - amber alert (to find her kids)

Cersei - surveillance equipment (to catch Margaery in the act)

Osney Kettleblack - roofies (because Margaery proved resistant)

Walder Frey - contraception (wait! they actually have that!)

Lysa, Jon Arryn - fertility clinic

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Walder Frey- Viagra

The last thing he needs is Viagra! I think he can manage pretty well on his own. If I remember correctly, his teenage wife is currently pregnant with another little Frey. And he already has dozens of them (legitimate and illegitimate). And the guy is like 90 years old.
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Basically anyone: therapy

Walder Frey, Robert, Craster: Condoms

Sandor Clegane: plastic surgery and a family consultant

Robert and Cersei: Divorce

Khal Drogo: antibiotics

Jeyne Poole, Tysha, Lollys: pepper spray and a taser

Bran: a wheelchair, or possibly spinal surgery

Tyrion/Tysha: Facebook ("Tyrion Lannister has sent you a friend request. Accept/Ignore")

Jorah: a waxing salon

The Eyrie: a lift

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