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ASoIaF Jokes/ Pick up Lines


King Euron Swagjoy

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Ok these first ones I saw on Pinterest.

Is your name winter? Cause you'll be coming soon :leer:

I might be an imp, but I never go limp :leer: ;)

They call me the King in the North, but I'd go south on you. ;) :leer: ;)

I don't know my mother, but I know who's your daddy. :leer:

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"A man is impressed by such beauty."

"Nice hips. Good for bearing my full-blooded heirs."

"Want me to stick you with the pointy end?"

"The things I do for love!"

"Wow, you're almost as hot as my sister."

Anything followed by "...my sun and stars" or "moon of my life." *swoon*

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How does a Dornishman make an apple pie? With oranges.

Un-jokes

What's worst than finding a worm in your Highgarden apple?

The Red Wedding

A Dornish man walks out of a bar.

How many Dornishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't have electricity.

What's sad about three Dornish men drowning?

They were my friends.

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Jaime: Want to come to my chambers? :leer:

Cersei: Not now sweet brother.

Jaime: Please, I incest :leer:

:rofl: :bowdown:

These are all great. I'm not so good with pick up lines. :(

To Gendry/or random smith : You've been hammering anvils your whole life..wanna try hammering me for a change? :spank:

How about you and I throw down Clegane style? :smileysex:

Want a taste of my milk of the poppy? :stillsick:

You must be my liege lord/lady, cause your making my knees bend. :dunce:

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I don't have anything to share, but just want to tell you you are all funny and I miss the "Like" function sorely!

"Wow, you're almost as hot as my sister."

Hey girl, hodor?

Jaime: Please, I incest :leer:

These are all great. I'm not so good with pick up lines. :(

To Gendry/or random smith : You've been hammering anvils your whole life..wanna try hammering me for a change? :spank:

You must be my liege lord/lady, cause your making my knees bend. :dunce:

A Dornish man walks out of a bar.

These are all awesome. :lmao:

Chelly, don't be so modest!

Well, I guess after all Rhaegar Targaryen picked up Lyanna with the greatest pick up line ever:

"Hey, Lady, I really think ancient prophecies require that I put a dragon head in you... if you know what I mean"

Been listening to this too much?

I guess that is also my contribution to the thread.

This

Totally unrelated, but this avatar is really cute. :wub:

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Knock Knock

Who's there?

It's the City guard. I'm afraid your son was killed during the bread riots

Why did the lord's son boy fall off the battlements?

because he had no arms

Why couldn't he get back up?

because he had no legs.

Why didn't anyone help him?

because he had no friends, and his father was killed in a war.

What did the lord's son get for his name day?

The bloody flux

I love anti-jokes

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Knock Knock

Who's there?

It's the City guard. I'm afraid your son was killed during the bread riots

Why did the lord's son boy fall off the battlements?

because he had no arms

Why couldn't he get back up?

because he had no legs.

Why didn't anyone help him?

because he had no friends, and his father was killed in a war.

What did the lord's son get for his name day?

The bloody flux

I love anti-jokes

Hahahaha!!! I do too! Yours are much better than the ones I tried to adapt.

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