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North Korea: Land of Miracles


Horza

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Comprehensive list of Kim Jong II's achievements, according to his official auto-biography:

- Kim Jong-il was born on Mount Paektu at his father's secret base in 1942 and his birth was heralded by a swallow, caused winter to change to spring, a star to illuminate the sky and a double rainbow spontaneously appeared.

- As a junior high school pupil in Pyongyang, he corrected and chastised his teachers for their incorrect interpretations of history.

- Wrote six full operas in two years, "all of which are better than any in the history of music"

- He designed the Tower of the Juche Idea, a 170-metre tower in the east bank of the River Taedong in central Pyongyang that is topped by a glowing red flame.

- Wrote 1,500 books during his time at Kim Sung Il University, from where he graduated in 1964.

- Amazed Vladimir Putin with his ability to alter the weather simply through the power of thought.

- Coached the 2010 Korean World Cup soccer team with an invisible phone

- Invented the hamburger in 2004.

- Shot an amazing 11 holes-in-one to achieve an unprecedented 38-under-par game on a regulation 18-hole golf course during his first try at golf

- After his death, layers of ice ruptured with an unprecedentedly loud crack at Chon Lake on Mount Paektu and a snowstorm with strong winds hit the area.

- Between 1973 to 2012, Jong-il accumulated no less than 54 titles, such as "Great Conqueror,", "Eternal General Secretary of our Great Party", and "Lord of all the Beasts and Fishes of the Earth".

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Comprehensive list of Kim Jong II's achievements, according to his official auto-biography:

- Kim Jong-il was born on Mount Paektu at his father's secret base in 1942 and his birth was heralded by a swallow, caused winter to change to spring, a star to illuminate the sky and a double rainbow spontaneously appeared.

- As a junior high school pupil in Pyongyang, he corrected and chastised his teachers for their incorrect interpretations of history.

- Wrote six full operas in two years, "all of which are better than any in the history of music"

- He designed the Tower of the Juche Idea, a 170-metre tower in the east bank of the River Taedong in central Pyongyang that is topped by a glowing red flame.

- Wrote 1,500 books during his time at Kim Sung Il University, from where he graduated in 1964.

- Amazed Vladimir Putin with his ability to alter the weather simply through the power of thought.

- Coached the 2010 Korean World Cup soccer team with an invisible phone

- Invented the hamburger in 2004.

- Shot an amazing 11 holes-in-one to achieve an unprecedented 38-under-par game on a regulation 18-hole golf course during his first try at golf

- After his death, layers of ice ruptured with an unprecedentedly loud crack at Chon Lake on Mount Paektu and a snowstorm with strong winds hit the area.

- Between 1973 to 2012, Jong-il accumulated no less than 54 titles, such as "Great Conqueror,", "Eternal General Secretary of our Great Party", and "Lord of all the Beasts and Fishes of the Earth".

Ahh, so now that double rainbow Youtube guy can finally get an answer to his question on the meaning of a double rainbow: double rainbow = son of a tyrant is born.

'Ware the double rainbow!

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Comprehensive list of Kim Jong II's achievements, according to his official auto-biography:

- Kim Jong-il was born on Mount Paektu at his father's secret base in 1942 and his birth was heralded by a swallow, caused winter to change to spring, a star to illuminate the sky and a double rainbow spontaneously appeared.

- As a junior high school pupil in Pyongyang, he corrected and chastised his teachers for their incorrect interpretations of history.

- Coached the 2010 Korean World Cup soccer team with an invisible phone

I'm not overly impressed by these, actually.

His birth. Weather... rainbows... Blah, Blah, Blah. But, a... swallow, ffs? No eagle, hawk or pterodactyl? Even a freaking giant bat. But, no... You're going with swallow?

Rightously correcting his teachers. Who hasn't done that?

Coached with an invisible phone? Hell, I've done that with every Super Bowl over the last twenty years. I didn't even have to use my invisible phone.

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Do not be alarmed, imperialist cowards, recent seismic activity is simply Mother Earth sighing with joy that the Land of Kirin is ruled by such a wonderful, wise and personable steward and has nothing to do with the fiery atomic death the Worker-Soldier Army will rain down on your diseased societies should your capitalist executive cabals seek to interfere with the triumphant march of revolution.

Ha ha! Not-at-all-overbearing Chinese comrades you are a laugh riot! How did you get this hugely detailed hoax nuclear news page up so quickly? Amazing timing!

Pay no attention to the sour grapes from imperialist puppet defence headquarters, it was a strong and virile explosion.

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