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The Hobbit: A Long-Expected Spoiler Movie Thread


Werthead

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Uh... I thought we were talking pleasantly about Peter Jackson's film and suddenly it's hijacked into some sort of adolescent penile fantasy thread? I humbly apologize if it was my mention of the "sensual" pleasure of handling piles of coins that sparked this outburst of putrefaction. Sensuality need not be equated to sexuality. There are many sensual pleasures in this world... including that of watching a wonderful film based on a book we all love. One sexual reference? Okay... ha ha. Two? Eh... a bit tacky. But a string of five? Sorry Brady but to this old Hobbit it seems extremely tactless and offensive.

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But seriously (if that is now even possible in this conversation) there is an enormously satisfying and even (dare I say it) sensuous pleasure in the act of playing with piles of coins. I have a small wooden treasure chest with a space about 12" x 6" x 5" deep. It will easily hold about five thousand small coins. If the coins are clean (the coefficient of static friction is significantly increased by the oxides and grime on dirty coins)... if the coins are clean and freshly tumbled you can stick your hands into the box and lift out piles which slish and slither over each other with a slushy tinkling sound that is most pleasant and can cause you to involuntarily chortle in piratical glee. Oh yes my precious, you can even feel the dragon-sickness tugging at the edges of the mind. You can understand the sickness that befell Thorins grandfather Thror which made him pay more attention to his hoard than to the business at hand.

And if such sensuous pleasure is possible for mere humans in our day, playing with fifty dollars worth of mere pennies... It is very easy to imagine the dragon (who is by nature much more susceptible to this peculiar pleasure) falling completely into the grasp of it... so that dear old Smaug could literally spend hundreds of years just lounging about in the sheer magnificence of a hoard that must have been valued (in today's dollars) in the trillions, without EVER becoming bored. You'd have to be a dragon to grasp how it's possible to not get bored for so long, or Scrooge McDuck I suppose.

It is said that (in our world) the total amount of gold ever mined from ancient times to today would be about 160,000 metric tonnes. That's

160,000,000 kilograms, or 160,000,000,000 grams. Today's price of about $1300/ troy ounce = ~$42/gram, or about $6.7 trillion USD. (note: Since the world GDP is about 70 trillion USD/year it's easy to see why a fully gold backed currency is no longer physically possible)

But back to Smaug and his hoard... this 160,000 metric tonnes of gold has a volume which would fill about three Olympic swimming pools. I dare say that the hoard shown in the film would be rather more than that... suggesting perhaps that Middle Earth is quite a bit richer in metals than our own planet. Indeed... the veins of gold that they shewed being worked by Dwarves hanging on ropes under the mountain were rich beyond anything ever seen on this planet. So that the sheer magnitude of Smaug's hoard can be grasped only by realizing that it utterly dwarfs the value of all the precious metals on earth... many times over. Such is the power of wealth of that scale, that it can immobilize the mind... at least... the mind of a dragon. Until of course... somebody touches even the smallest bit of it.

But wouldnt the laws of supply and demand make such common minerals far less valuable? I mean it is not like the dwarves were controlling the gold supply were they? And Erebor is just one such location? If gold is as common as sand, why is it then so valuable?

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Now Im seriously thinking through Middle Earth mythology trying to think of things that equate to my dick.

The Watcher in the Water?

What... not enough tentacles?

EDIT:

Barad Dur?

I dunno if you'd want that as a symbol for your business, what with its giant, burning, ocular tip.

But then again, what do I know?

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If gold is as common as sand, why is it then so valuable?

But it's still shiny!!!

And seriously, guys, if you really want to discuss your manliness in terms of Middle Earth, please get your own thread, we don't want to get this one locked, do we? ;)

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But wouldnt the laws of supply and demand make such common minerals far less valuable? I mean it is not like the dwarves were controlling the gold supply were they? And Erebor is just one such location? If gold is as common as sand, why is it then so valuable?

A good question. One that applies to the real world. :P

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