The smallest moments that are hilarious

[cocoalover1956]

There's her comment about rulers need most. Barriston lists off stuff like "honor" and "courage", but Dany says Cheeks of iron. I've been sitting all day. It made me giggle when I read it

[MordsGoldTeeth]

in ASOS during the battle at the wall and the septon is singing and the last line he gets is 'stay the sword and stay the arrows' and Noye comes over and says 'any man who stays his sword, ill chuck his puckered ass right off this wall, starting with you septon'

Love Noye and his no bullshit here

[Petite Psycophant]

It was totally unexpected. The first time I read I was "I am really reading it?"

You ought to have heard Roy Dotrice reading this bit of the audiobook, I damn near pissed myself laughing yet still was rather disgusted.

Ser Bennis and Se Useless:

She would whip the skin

off any peasant who displeased her, I do not doubt, but foryou to cut one . . . no, she will not suffer such

an insult. Make no mistake. She will come for you, as she came for Lem.”

“Dake, m’lord,” Ser Bennis said. “Begging your lordly pardon, you knew him and I never did, but his

name were Dake.”

I just love how Eustace gets all worked up about what happened to Dake yet he can never remember his name.

Also this little tidbit. Some knights don't name their horses so they don't get attached to them and thus grief when they perish in battle. Since some of the peasants have the same name they give them nicknames to better tell them apart. Prompting the following convo:

“That wasdifferent, ” Egg insisted. “That was war.”

“So is this. The same thing, only smaller.”

“Smaller andstupider , ser.”

“That’s not for you or me to say,” Dunk told him. “It’s their duty to go to war when Ser Eustace

summons them . . . and to die, if need be.”

“Then we shouldn’t have named them, ser. It will only make the grief harder for us when they die.”

Black comedy at its best.

I just LOVE this bit:

"Here's my promise: three feet of cold steel through your belly if you speak a word of what just happened."

Dunk shook his head to clear his wits. It did not seem to help. He bent double at the waist, and retched.

Some of the vomit spattered Peake's boots. The lord cursed.

I don't know why but the image of Dunk vomiting in front of Peake and soiling his boots after the guy threatened him fills me with joy.

Dunk was the one who carried the bride upstairs for the wedding and at one point someone shouts at Dunk if she had flower on her teats! XD

[ShaggyCat]

How Tommen's favorite about thing about being king so far was putting the royal seal on wax docments.

This, but more so the scene where Tommen comes to see Cersai while she's in the bath to decree that he will outlaw beets.... While Jaime tries hard not to die laughing at his son's insistence that kittens and bad vegetables are the most pressing concerns in a kingdom at war.

[Forkball]

I find anything relating to Jalabhar Xho to be funny, I don't know why. He just seems so out of place and he is described as having really outlandish clothing. He is also mentioned or appears in every single book and I don't get why, but I like it when he appears. His whole schtick about being an exiled prince and the IT's total indifference to his struggle is amusing. Plus his name is fun to say.