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Boardology - resurrected...


Mladen

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UPDATES OF BOARDOLOGY (POSTS #265 - #370)

The General Law of the Crackpot Threads: Everybody is Ashara/Rhaegar/Aegon/Faceless Man, who in fact is a secret Targ, being warged by a secret warg/BR/future Bran

The most common (likely, inevitable) reply to a post by someone with less than 25 posts is :agree:

GREY'S LAW

Every character is grey. No one is completely good, or completely evil. Ned hid a secret for so long and lied everyone, Gregor Clegane apparently has brain tumor that made him do all attrocities, and Ramsay and Joffrey are the victims of bad parenting.

Rhaeger's Law: Any discussion of Rhaeger will eventually degenerate into debating whether or not he was kidnapper and rapist.

Almost everyone prefers Lyanna over Elia

Rule of analysis: When tze, Apple Martini, butterbumps!, Fire Eater and Dr Pepper post, you read the entire thing.

Dany's Laws

-The Targs being fireproof will always be brought up in a Dany thread

- Dany cannot be discussed without Stannis included

- In every Dany thread there will always be someone who irrationally hates her

-There will always be at least one StanStan posting in a Dany thread

-Dany cannot be discussed properly without hate in one of her threads

-There are only a few Dany stans who will defend her to the end

Patrick Stormborn

TheMysteriousOne (me)

etc.

People will blame Arya for Nymeria's man-eating.

Every single line is foreshadowing

The amount of madness increases exponentially as the time from the last book increases

Another law of Stanstans: Stannis should be judged by his words, while all the other characters should be judged by their actions.

THE LAW OF POSTS ONE THREAD COULD HAVE

No matter how smart, intelligent or insightful your latest thread is, you don't stand a chance against provocative, amusing, and controversial threads.

Top 10 needlessly recycled threads:

1. Syrio/Jaqen/Faceless Man

2. The others is totes the good guys/the wall keeps the peoples out of the North

3. Benjen is Coldhands/in the land of always winter/an other/hooded man/a plot device who buried a cache of obsidian and necessitated a ranging beyond the wall

4. Leave Edmure Alone!!!!!1 (now extinct)

5. If I were Randyl Tarly, I'd beat the crap out of Sam, too.

6. Lannister secret targs/valonqar/drogonrider mumbo jumbo

7. Gendry is totes importante

8. I think Aegon is real, cuz Varys wouldn't lie. Discuss.

9. Winterfell crypts/missing swords/dragon/always a stark there

10. Varys is a non-eunuch/female/blackfyre/merling/omnipotent/jesus-george washington-moses figure who would never lie and just wants the best for the realm

FFC boredom law

Any time people talk about ASOIAF, someone will inevitably mention how boring was AFFC...

The Law of dragon heads

Someone will always claim that riders and heads are one same thing

There is always debate about whether it's one dragon with three heads or just three dragons

To some posters, a characters morality depends on how awesome their lines are.

Walrus' Law: Anytime someone exaggerates Tyrion's wrongdoing's and then goes on about how "redeemed" Jaime and Sandor are, i lose it. This also applies to Stannis.

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Doran's master plan is to basically sit on his ass and wait for something helpful to turn up aka a Targaryen. Not exactly a master schemer in my books.

In Dornes position it wouldnt be right to act rashly. And well, seeing that he actually tried to get his daughter to meet Viserys, I wouldnt say hes been doing nothing.

And thats just what we know.

Anyway thats not the subject of the thread :)

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I will totes stop using totes as soon as you start a thread about "Syrio is a secret Targ who wargs a faceless man who is a fireproof valonqar from the crypts of winterfell who is actually allied with the others and using the face of benjen to impersonate coldhands who is actually controlling bloodraven and in cahoot with Darkstar" thread.

That would be totes awesome.

Amended to include : Who is Ashara Dayne, who also appears as Septa Lemore (aka Pale Meteor or Ape Molester) and uses glass candles to appear as Quaithe before Danaerys, despite actually being a time travelling Danaerys from the future.

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Doran's master plan is to basically sit on his ass and wait for something helpful to turn up aka a Targaryen. Not exactly a master schemer in my books.

Dammit, Pinkie, why can't we ever disagree with each other on something? That should be another law: Pinkie Baelish and Nezzer always agree with each other (except when Nezzer goes over the top with his circlejerk, of course) :cool4:

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Dammit, Pinkie, why can't we ever disagree with each other on something? That should be another law: Pinkie Baelish and Nezzer always agree with each other (except when Nezzer goes over the top with his circlejerk, of course) :cool4:

Well, I don't think Doran is a pedophile. Plus, I think therealbando should be included in that law, since we pretty much share the same opinions, especially when it concerns the awesomeness of Roose Bolton :)

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The most common (likely, inevitable) reply to a post by someone with less than 25 posts is :agree:

Another law of Stanstans: Stannis should be judged by his words, while all the other characters should be judged by their actions.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: love that line about stannis' words and actions

and sometimes all that's left to say is :agree:

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Well, I don't think Doran is a pedophile. Plus, I think therealbando should be included in that law, since we pretty much share the same opinions, especially when it concerns the awesomeness of Roose Bolton :)

See, I said I like to think Doran is a pedophile, but I don't think that he actually is one, sadly. So we didn't really disagree on that -_-

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Pinkie's law: Every thread looking at Theon in ADWD will either:

1) devolve into a disturbingly lengthy discussion about his castration

or

2) devolve into whether he deserved it or not, and will generally expose the darker and bloodthirsty sides of some fans.

Top 10 needlessly recycled threads:

1. Syrio/Jaqen/Faceless Man

2. The others is totes the good guys/the wall keeps the peoples out of the North

3. Benjen is Coldhands/in the land of always winter/an other/hooded man/a plot device who buried a cache of obsidian and necessitated a ranging beyond the wall

4. Leave Edmure Alone!!!!!1 (now extinct)

5. If I were Randyl Tarly, I'd beat the crap out of Sam, too.

6. Lannister secret targs/valonqar/drogonrider mumbo jumbo

7. Gendry is totes importante

8. I think Aegon is real, cuz Varys wouldn't lie. Discuss.

9. Winterfell crypts/missing swords/dragon/always a stark there

10. Varys is a non-eunuch/female/blackfyre/merling/omnipotent/jesus-george washington-moses figure who would never lie and just wants the best for the realm

You forgot the "Who is the best fighter" and "Will X win in a swordfight against Y?" threads.

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My set of Laws in this thread:

1-MIaden will be the first poster in every thread. You may get lucky, but no matter how many times you try you will lose.

2- I will always defend the Greyjoys and Martells.

3-To some posters, a characters morality depends on how awesome their lines are.

4- You just cant hate Shireen :bawl:

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Pinkie's law: Every thread looking at Theon in ADWD will either a) devolve into a disturbingly lengthy discussion about his castration, or B) devolve into whether he deserved it or not, and will generally expose the darker and bloodthirsty sides of some fans.

You should've mentioned that most part of the discussion about his penis is whether it was cleanly cut or flayed. That is the biggest controversy of the discussion.

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Gentlemen, I would really appreciate if you wouldn't chat about nonsensical pedophilia... This thread is nearly done due to length, but I would like to open continuation thread... So, please stop with that...

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Gentlemen, I would really appreciate if you wouldn't chat about nonsensical pedophilia... This thread is nearly done due to length, but I would like to open continuation thread... So, please stop with that...

Ok, I'll stop. I know how unfun the mods can be when people talk about amoral actions. I don't want another suspension ;)

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I must repeat that its impossible for a human (or walrus) to hate Shireen Baratheon.

Believe it or not about a year back or so there was a poster (who's name currently escapes me) who hated Shireen. How and why I have no fucking idea.

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Jaime's morality law: A poster will not try to make any attempt to justify Jaime throwing Bran until they've read ASOS, despite the circumstances surrounding the incident being unchanged.

This is a good one

That "Stupid Honor Thread" Law: Some posters will try to pass off Jaime as more honorable than Ned. They will miserably fail.

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Ero's law: In any thread discussing or even mentioning Stannis, Ero will eventually arrive.

Have you actually read the OP? :)

And here we come finally. After 9 hours, the thread came to its 400th post and will most likely be closed to its length... I will ask moderators to close the thread and will open another with resources we gathered here. Thank you for not derailing this thread too much, and not turning it to chatroom. Also, I am so pleased with brilliant ideas that surfaced on this thread. I hope you'll all be on Boardology resurected II, so we could continue with this thread...

Once again, thanks for help and colaboration.

Yours, OP

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