Seventh Pup Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Michael Swanwick Sucks! I'm almost alittle scared to ask who that is? Does he also weild the mighty power of the Yeard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asa Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 3 books worse than Goodkind? That's easy smeezy. Eragon. Eldest. Crossroads of Twilight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted June 7, 2006 Author Share Posted June 7, 2006 I don't think anyone is going to argue that Eddings or Brooks are exceptional writers with exceptional tales. The saving grace of both however is that they know they write "sword and sorcery" novels, and that their books are easily excisable for young readers. They don't bog it down with graphic sex scenes or heavy handed philosophy. Don't confuse snark with hate. It's not like we are trying to get a constitutional ban on buying Terry's books. Or make plotting to bomb his car. Terry is very mock worthy. His story is very mockable. And the fact that he is a pretentious ass just makes it more fun. Careful you'll stir up the Harry Potter fans. Now they are scary! Is Rowling perhaps a bit arrogant? Yes she is. However she is also very nice to her fans, and seems to realize "hey with out these people I would not be living in my 18 bedroom mansion". I deify you to name three books worse then Goodkind's series! No Mein Kampf does not count! I think I can absolutely guarantee that Stego will be able to easily fulfil your request. Well, he already has: Brooks, Eddings and for third place I'm going to guess Keck (on the basis of recent authors Stego's reviewed and hated). I think Eddings does have too many "I read them when I was 12 and they made me read LotR even if I did go back and re-read them recently and they were pony," fans to fully enable a consensus on him being worse than Goodkind. Brooks is a different matter. I don't think so, but then Brooks did completely rip off Lord of the Rings, a far more visible fantasy fiction crime than Goodkind's regurgitation of Jordan through the medium of Ayn Rand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I think I can absolutely guarantee that Stego will be able to easily fulfil your request. Well, he already has: Brooks, Eddings and for third place I'm going to guess Keck (on the basis of recent authors Stego's reviewed and hated). Well the challenge was joke. With the thousands and thousands and thousands of books in the world Terry's got numbers in his on his side. And yes I have read at least one book worse then Blood of the Fold. Perhaps it is because I was young when I read all Eddings and Brooks that where out at the time; but I enjoyed them for what they where. I did not have to drag any of their book the way I did through Goodkind's. :/ Not that I have any desire to read them again, or read their new stuff. Anyway I seriously was joking that there was no worse then Goodkind. Though I deify you to list three authors more fun to mock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watcher Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I deify you to name three books worse then Goodkind's series! Laurell Hamilton Anita Blake series. But Goodkind deserve all the snark we give him because of his attitude towards his fans and the genre. He also deserves it for writing third rate novels that follow a third rate philosopher. Hubbert deserves a thread like this too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted June 7, 2006 Author Share Posted June 7, 2006 Well the challenge was joke. With the thousands and thousands and thousands of books in the world Terry's got numbers in his on his side. And yes I have read at least one book worse then Blood of the Fold. Perhaps it is because I was young when I read all Eddings and Brooks that where out at the time; but I enjoyed them for what they where. I did not have to drag any of their book the way I did through Goodkind's. :/ Not that I have any desire to read them again, or read their new stuff. Anyway I seriously was joking that there was no worse then Goodkind. Though I deify you to list three authors more fun to mock. You may have us there. I think L. Ron 'Old Mother' Hubbard is the only one who comes to mind. His books are so bad they cause you to spontaneously break out in boils at the mere thought of reading another page. Plus you have the whole Scientology angle as well. The only problem is that he is dead and there is no sane person outside the Church of Scientology who will be able to effectively counter-troll the books, Mystar-style, thus leading to a reduction in entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 "If Richard seemed calm, Cara looked ready to chew steel and spit nails. "Would you tell this obstinate husband of yours to let me kill someone before I go crazy? I can't just stand around and allow people to get away with threatening the two of you! I am Mord-Sith!" I'd never read any of his stuff before. Thanks! Now I have to gouge my eyes out. Chewing steel and spitting nails, Mord-Sith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawkcabi Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Though I deify you to list three authors more fun to mock. Um....L. Ron Hubbard, Robert Newcomb, and Ann Coulter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonehelm Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I'm almost alittle scared to ask who that is? Does he also weild the mighty power of the Yeard? Michael Swanwick wrote Iron Dragon's Daughter. Bad writing! Bad Story! Horrible Characters and character development! Nothing made sense (in a bad way)! Just stupid situations! Illogical relationships! ....I bet stop there because I could go on for awhile, but I am at work and already spendt too much time neglecting my job today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stego Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 hoo-boy, didn't I say I didn't want to do this? Of fantasists alone: -Robert Newcomb -Clifford Bowyer -Robert Stanek -David Eddings -I'm leaving this one blank for fear of my safety -This one too. -Terry Brooks -Eric Van Lustbader -Terry McGarry -Laurie J. Marks -Another blank -- seriously, I don't want the fallout from this one. -David Keck -Sara Douglass -Elizabeth Haydon -David Drake (his fantasy) -John Ringo -Mercedes Lackey -Diana Gabaldon -Laurell K. Hamilton -Thomas Harlan -David B. Coe -Each and every Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance book not written by Weis, Hickman, or Salvatore. Jay could single out a few more, but I gave up on those books years ago. Stonehelm, I must disagree with you. I found Iron Dragon's Daughter to be magnificent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BranTheBuilder Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I'm leaving this one blank for fear of my safety aw, go on, please! -Each and every Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance book not written by Weis, Hickman, or Salvatore. too true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I've read quite a few authors as bad as, or worse than, Terry Goodkind. They span genres, from bodice-rippers to true crime to straight-up fiction to science fiction to fantasy. But in Goodkind embodies pretty much all that one could dislike about someone they've never met: someone who has little talent but acts like they're destined for a Booker, who exudes contempt for the audience, who...well, everything we've already mentioned. Goodkind is a rare specimen, and I deeply appreciate his chosen path in life. Actually, if Dan Simmons had no talent, he might fall into the Goodkind category. His proven writing abilities save him from such a fate, even if his politics are beyond gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watcher Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Hey you forgot Piers Anthony! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Hey you forgot Piers Anthony! OK. He is definitely worse than Goodkind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Well I did think the Mein Kamf reference would signify my challenge as a joke. But since you excepted it.... hoo-boy, didn't I say I didn't want to do this? Of fantasists alone: -Robert Newcomb -Clifford Bowyer -Robert Stanek -David Eddings -I'm leaving this one blank for fear of my safety -This one too. -Terry Brooks -Eric Van Lustbader -Terry McGarry -Laurie J. Marks -Another blank -- seriously, I don't want the fallout from this one. -David Keck -Sara Douglass -Elizabeth Haydon -David Drake (his fantasy) -John Ringo -Mercedes Lackey -Diana Gabaldon -Laurell K. Hamilton -Thomas Harlan -David B. Coe -Each and every Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance book not written by Weis, Hickman, or Salvatore. Jay could single out a few more, but I gave up on those books years ago. Stonehelm, I must disagree with you. I found Iron Dragon's Daughter to be magnificent. All make me glad I found Goodkind when I did. He turned me off of fanasty which lead me to other avenues of literary expression. When I returned to fantasy it was as an older wiser reader who heeded the advice of clerks at my local bookstore. I have been blessed with not reading most of these authors. Blessed be to Goodkind. (Though again I did enjoy Eddings and Brooks, but then I was 10-12 when I read them). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawkcabi Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 aw, go on, please! I think I can guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Of fantasists alone: -I'm leaving this one blank for fear of my safety -This one too. -Another blank -- seriously, I don't want the fallout from this one. I can guess a couple of those. And yes, they are best left blank. Otherwise a dreadful hijacking would occur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 OK, if Stego's blanks were Umberto Eco, José Saramago, and Zoran Živković, I might just go into Kill Mode. But something tells me I'm safe from that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted June 7, 2006 Author Share Posted June 7, 2006 -Robert Newcomb Haven't read, but Jay's hatred towards his books is awesome to behold. -David Eddings Disagree. The Belgariad and The Elenium are far better than anything Goodkind has written IMO. The Tamuli is far worse, though. -I'm leaving this one blank for fear of my safety If I thought of a book called 'Orchards of the Satellite' and substitued those words for other words, would I be close? -This one too. Not Jordan, surely? Even at his worse he wipes the floor with Goodkind (Crossroads of Twilight is a horrific novel, but I still enjoyed it more than Wizards' First Rule). -Terry Brooks I think the act he comitted back in 1977 of ripping off Tolkien is a greater crime against SF&F literature than anything perpetuated by Goodkind. But his actual writing I would rank as better. Still pretty poor compared to everyone else though. -Eric Van Lustbader I've steered well clear of this guy ever since his last-before-last fantasy novel was mercilessly ripped apart in every single review I've read of it. -Another blank -- seriously, I don't want the fallout from this one. Donaldson? Thomas Covenant I'm prepared to say (and risk being flamed alive) is on a par with Goodkind (caveat: only read the first 200 pages of Lord Foul's Bane). But The Gap Series was vastly superior IMO. -David Keck His book does sound poor from the reviews, I must admit. -Sara Douglass Actually I'd rank her Axis Trilogy (published as Wayfarer Books 1-3 in the US) firmly in the so-bad-it's-good category. Seriously, I nearly did myself an injury laughing at how bad this trilogy was. -Mercedes Lackey Read one of her books and was struck by the desire to scoop out my own eyeballs with teaspoons and use them in a game of marbles. Now that I recall it, it was crappier than Goodkind by some margin. -Each and every Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance book not written by Weis, Hickman, or Salvatore. Ed Greenwood in particular is a horrific writer, far worse than Goodkind. Elain Cunningham is probably in the same ballpark. OTOH, Jeff Grub, Douglas Niles, James Lowder, Dave Cook and in particular Troy Denning have all written pretty solid books in the FR world, much better than anything Goodkind has done. The Empire Trilogy in particular was a notable attempt to break out of lameass hero-of-the-week FR book template. I think Jay also heavily recommended Paul Kemp as an FR writer who can 'properly' write as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stego Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 None of the places left blank are Erikson or Jordan. But I'll throw out one: Stephen R. Donaldson ***********Good call, Werthead!!1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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