LGBTQ The Next

[emberling]

Not a slip of the tongue situation, more just getting backed into a spot where I couldn't in good conscience stay silent. And I'd kind of seen it coming and was prepared for it; I just would have liked to have the chance to be more solid in how I see myself and where I expect to end up.

I mean, I'm so far from the (stereo)typical reveling-in-once-repressed-femininity it's barely even on the same planet. I practically just want to swap out hormones and pronouns and then get on with the same life I'd been trying to live before, only without the crippling depression and feelings of disconnectedness. But it's too early to say whether I'll find my true self in that kind of tomboy presentation, or if I have more repressed femininity than I believe and I want to go all out, or if it's all too far and the female identity doesn't fit me any better than the male one and I'd be better off claiming neither identity - which is really how I feel inside most of the time - a person, not a gender, with neither 'man' nor 'woman' really coming close to saying anything meaningful about me, regardless of my male-shaped body or my desire to have a female-shaped body.

If you're going to try to get someone to wrap their head around that kind of off-the-wall genderqueer identity, it's a lot more awkward if you have to say maybe it's this, I don't even know! instead of This is just how I am.

[karaddin]

Well if it helps I've gone from wearing jeans + t-shirt plus random warming item of clothing over the t-shirt as necessary to...jeans + t-shirt plus random warming item of clothing over the t-shirt as necessary. Yeah I've got a feminine cut to everything and I'm wearing more colour, but I'm far from having gone ultra femme. I've taken to calling it femme tomboy, and it seems to fit who I am, I'm comfortable in it and I think I look good too. You sure as hell don't need to go to dresses etc if that's not your thing. I also basically never wear make up, which is why being asked by someone else about to hit transition for make up assistance is hilarious >_<

[emberling]

You sure as hell don't need to go to dresses etc if that's not your thing.

Yeah, I know. I just can't say with confidence that they're not my thing yet. Maybe I'll try them out and find out that they are. And maybe I'll try on 'she' or estrogen and find that those aren't my thing. Too much up in the air still. :(

Good to hear the tomboy style is working out for you, though.

[karaddin]

I'm not sure they aren't my thing for certain occasions yet either, wearing them early in the process I was super lacking in confidence and worried that a) I looked terrible and B) I would be awfully immodest and people would see up my dress and glimpse something I didn't want them seeing. I'm looking forward to warmer weather so I can give them a more thorough try out this year and see if they are more my thing now.

On the hormones front, everything I experienced and that I've heard from others is you'll have a pretty good idea within a month or two if estrogen is more for you than testosterone. Took less than a month for me and I felt so awesome all my doubts went away, i believe the experience is rather the opposite if it's not for you. Whatever you go with, take your time and make sure it's right for you. Sounds like you already know all that though :)

[Robin Of House Hill]

Way back, I used to wear suitable business attire, make up, but understated, etc. For the past 15 year, or so, it has been t-shirt and jeans when it is warm and sweatshirt and jeans when it is cold. My better half has embroidered some of my t-shirts with various GoT house sigils and has made some pendants for me with similar designs. That is as fancy as I get. If I'd warn such apparel in the '70s, the medical establishment would never have believed I was genuine. Feminity? Yes, it's there but not overdone. Maybe that is because almost everything I do is designed to blend into my surroundings. Well, that isn't quite as easy as it seems. I'm about an inch taller than the actress who plays Brienne of Tarth.

[karaddin]

Ugh yeah, that whole gatekeeping on the basis of "fitting in" with stereotypical femininity was so fucked, I'm lucky things have improved so I haven't had to do that.

[Rubies & Jade]

Robin, thank you so much for sharing here with us. Its powerful and inspiring to see you step forward like that. I also hope this doesn't make you leave the board or anything like.

Yeah, I've read a bit but am slowly learning about queer history.

Any suggestions most welcome!

Check out San Francisco's Compton's Cafeteria riot... its a part of the history that often gets lost for some reason.

[brook]

Robin, thank you so much for sharing here with us. Its powerful and inspiring to see you step forward like that. I also hope this doesn't make you leave the board or anything like.

Check out San Francisco's Compton's Cafeteria riot... its a part of the history that often gets lost for some reason.

This is something I'd never even heard of until the 40th anniversary hit this year. It's absolutely horrific but deserves to be remembered

[Weeping Sore]

Until I saw some posts by you and others, I hadn't read about or discussed anything related to transsexual/transgender matters in 30 years. A lot has changed and I think it is too late for me to adapt. I may not feel like posting in the forums for a while, but if anyone wants to PM me, I'll answer. I cannot believe I am posting this. Sorry if I've derailed your thread.

Thank you so much for sharing, Robin. I noticed your avatar change but didn't read this thread until just now. You and others posting on this board are really doing a service to this community; it's really been an education for me in particular. I hope you keep posting!

[Robin Of House Hill]

Robin, thank you so much for sharing here with us. Its powerful and inspiring to see you step forward like that. I also hope this doesn't make you leave the board or anything like.

Check out San Francisco's Compton's Cafeteria riot... its a part of the history that often gets lost for some reason.

Well, since I haven't detected any electrons, bits or bytes being thrown at me, I'll probably stick around, but I have to admit I feel reluctant to re-engage discussions in topics where I normally have an interest, because (rightly or wrongly) I feel I have undermined my ability to be effective.

I was unaware of the incident you cited, but that is not surprising. Except for those I met during group counseling sessions, I'd never met any transgender persons. I thought of myself as just someone nature had fucked with, never as part of any group. To this day, if my radar detects a transgender person in my vicinity, I will very discreetly alter course. In my admittedly skewed view of reality, there is always a danger someone will figure it out. That danger grows exponentially with more than one in the area. I hope no one follows my example in this particular regard. For the most part, it did keep me safe, but the older I get, the more I regret that there are things I might have done, but didn't.

[Robin Of House Hill]

Thank you so much for sharing, Robin. I noticed your avatar change but didn't read this thread until just now. You and others posting on this board are really doing a service to this community; it's really been an education for me in particular. I hope you keep posting!

Damn, Vlad, I saw you lurking here when I started writing my last post (which took over 2 hours for me to complete) and was going to add a snide remark, like, "See Vlad? No secret passwords or handshakes. We have honest-to-goodness, radar". I didn't because the though occurred to me that I might have misinterpreted your interest. Peace.

[Sci-2]

Well, since I haven't detected any electrons, bits or bytes being thrown at me, I'll probably stick around, but I have to admit I feel reluctant to re-engage discussions in topics where I normally have an interest, because (rightly or wrongly) I feel I have undermined my ability to be effective.

I wouldn't worry. I trust you'll frustrate people enough that they'll quickly return to having heated discussions with you about various topics.

If you want to speed up the process I can make a thread on homeless people, immigration, terrorism, animal rights.....

;-)

[Robin Of House Hill]

Wait! I have nothing against animal rights. Homless iimigrant,terrorists, on the other hand... :P:

[peterbound]

Wait! I have nothing against animal rights. Homless iimigrant,terrorists, on the other hand... :P:

Indeed... like I've said before, let’s not go sucking each other’s dicks just yet (metaphorically of course)

RH is still a fucking looney tunes when it comes to most matters. Not sure if her coming out makes her brave, or just true to herself. That shit don't white wash the past, saying that, I’m glad she did it.

Also, I so called this whole sexual ambiguity shit moons ago.

[Maltaran]

On a completely different subject, the BBC has done an interview with a polyamorous foursome

[Rubies & Jade]

Well, since I haven't detected any electrons, bits or bytes being thrown at me, I'll probably stick around, but I have to admit I feel reluctant to re-engage discussions in topics where I normally have an interest, because (rightly or wrongly) I feel I have undermined my ability to be effective.

any discussion needs diversity, and you definitely add some edgy diversity to debates here. I really don't think the conversation here, and any info you share here, changed your ability to do what you do on other threads! :)

Indeed... like I've said before, let’s not go sucking each other’s dicks just yet (metaphorically of course)

lolol :thumbsup: I think I love Peterbound! No one can get us grounded faster!

On a completely different subject, the BBC has done an interview with a polyamorous foursome

well, I'm all for what ever works that makes consenting adults happy. I find this article a little curious, though, because the group part of this group seems very new in the whole scheme of things. I know a group of 4 (they aren't individual couples, they're a more true four-some) that have been together over 30 years. I wish the article had been done about a group like that just to show that different arrangements can work long term for those panicky right-wingers that think they're own marriages are in jeapordy because some kids are screwing. ya know?

[Sci-2]

I wish the article had been done about a group like that just to show that different arrangements can work long term for those panicky right-wingers that think they're own marriages are in jeapordy because some kids are screwing. ya know?

Rick Santorum clutched his couch with white knuckles, sweat dripping from his brow.

For so long the sacred bonds of marriage had spared him from his own conflicted desires.

Horses, field mice, chipmunks...how they had haunted his nightly dreams. How many times had he awoken swaddled in sweat drenched sheets, filled with relief knowing that prejudice raised walls against love.

But now...Now he dared not glance too long at the family dog...

[Robin Of House Hill]

Indeed... like I've said before, let’s not go sucking each other’s dicks just yet (metaphorically of course)

RH is still a fucking looney tunes when it comes to most matters. Not sure if her coming out makes her brave, or just true to herself. That shit don't white wash the past, saying that, I’m glad she did it.

Also, I so called this whole sexual ambiguity shit moons ago.

Oh good. For a while I feared I'd landed on another planet. I'm glad you posted that. I was going to ask a question that was pretty important to me, but now, I'll have the good sense not to.

[Sci-2]

Oh good. For a while I feared I'd landed on another planet. I'm glad you posted that. I was going to ask a question that was pretty important to me, but now, I'll have the good sense not to.

You should still ask your question, as I think Peterbound is just voicing his vehement disagreement on issues not related to trans*.

Which was my point -> that you should still be who you are, and not feel like you have to conform to expectations.

I mean, look at me, I clearly don't mind posting whatever thought comes to my scintillating, brilliant mind. ;-)

[BLU-RAY]

Go ahead and ask it, it's just Peterbound.

Not sure if this goes here or in US politics, but it looks like an anti-conversion-therapy bill just passed in NJ as Chris Christie continues the slow and violent murder of his chances in a Republican primary.