Ser Cold Fingers

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.

Boop.

Daylight savings time sucks! I protest to pick one side or the other and STAY THERE!

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

Either you like bacon...or you're wrong.

Flying is easy...all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss...

Here's to you and here's to me; best friends we shall be. But if by chance we disagree, to hell with you and Here's to me!!

I almost had something in common with Bloodraven...I almost lost my right eye this past weekend!

I am trying to interview a mirror but the asshole keeps talking when I do!

I shot my first Turkey today...it scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section...it was awesome!

I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

Jack & Coke helps me screw with those need screwing with.

Left Shark still dances better than me!

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Prison is the only place Hump Day is never celebrated.

That's it...I'm going to search for Paititi...wish me luck!

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

Time to go repair a 120 year old barn...WAHOO!!!

Perhaps the world's second-worst crime is boredom; the first is being a bore.