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Beardy the Wildling

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Everything posted by Beardy the Wildling

  1. Also, I made this meme in memory of such a blessed Comic Con. Is there anything the Ds can do right, I wonder? After all, if they actually did show up at Comic Con they'd be eviscerated unless they said something truly soul-changing.
  2. So D&D cowered behind their competent actors, feeding them lines blaming all the hate on a 'media led hate campaign' and that the 'real fans' still like GoT. What, the same media that pretended D&D's shit didn't stink? That media? Oh, of course, they obviously really wanted you to fail, it's not like Game of Thrones was a ratings juggernaut that every cynical businessman and their cynical businessmothers wanted to succeed.
  3. I find it so tragic that so many talented and skilled people, for a long portion of their lives, have serviced a set of talentless hacks.
  4. Beardy the Wildling

    Rewriting Season 5...or How You Can Make Two Good Seasons out of Feast AND Dance

    Well, I think that even if it's a better-handled, politically-nuanced variant, a rape-revenge plot (in this case, the search for not-Marillion the serial rapist - Marillion inexplicably teleported to King's Landing to mock Bobby B's death and lost his tongue in the show!) is somewhat trite. Infinitely better than the shit we got, and it would still be good, just I think rape-revenge is a tired old trope. Audiences may bite though, so I would say imperfect, but still better than D&D. Also, having Jon be killed for trying to defend the Watch kinda undermines what makes the coup of the books sympathetic; Jon was stabbed in the books for overtly getting the Night's Watch involved in politics (responding to Ramsay's Pink Letter by declaring he'll march south with a wildling army to save his sister) after already getting covertly involved as-is (using Mance Rayder as a spy in Winterfell to kidnap 'Arya' and take her to the Watch). He'd broken his vows of neutrality tons of times over, and the Watch stabbed him for that. Not racism, not after the let-through and subsequent damage was done, but legitimately for the neutrality of the Watch. I would argue a more politically savvy Jon would be a better adaptation of the books (which would work well for later adaptations of him outnavigating Dany politically). I still think Jaime going to Dorne ain't ideal. I understand it from an audience retention perspective, but being honest, the early seasons didn't succeed by being conventional and talking down to the audience. In fact, the worst parts of the early seasons (sexposition) are the result of exactly that (AUDIENCES AREN'T PATIENT ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO WORLDBUILDING ON ITS OWN, WE NEED SEX GUYS). I still think it's a good proposition, and a million times better than D&D's 'creative vision' (creativity may vary). I just think there are still at times considerable deviation from the themes of the originals that don't work so well. I'm not saying my suggestions are perfect either, fuck it, your suggestions may be perfect to many people, just not everyone. Still, I give it an A+ and a merit for obvious thought having been put in, something the version that made it to TV screens somehow failed.
  5. That's how Zack Snyder got a get-out-of-jail-free on Batman, ie, the dark vigilante who draws the line at murder, murdering his enemies. You know, by saying 'LOL, you idiots looking up to heroes idealistically, you're living in a dream world, I want everything to be dark and realistic, and for me, realistic = completely different to the source material. Fucking fantards, amirite?' And the audience clapped.
  6. Here's hoping the mods don't delete this. Now, we all know D&D are creative geniuses. They who coined the bad pussy and story-based elective monarchies deserve every honour they get. But they're not just ingenious storytellers; they also want you to know about it, as their Inside the Episode segments demonstrate. Thank goodness they're here to, in a display of humility akin to Ricegum, make their own Genius Explanation Video. So, anyone and everyone, what are your favourite insightful D&D lines? Here are a few of my most special quotes: You're the actor, just say the lines. Ramsay is a little bit more heroic than Joffrey... he... uh... fights. Euron will make Ramsay look like a little kid. And you have to start wondering... what the hell is this... plot? Stannis has always had a fight between family and ambition... and here, he finally chooses ambition and pays the price. Sansa... has been through a lot to reach the strength she has now, while Arya was already there, in a way. Creatively it made sense to us, because we wanted it to happen. God damn it, we want that zombie polar bear! There are plausible implausibilities and implausible implausibilities, and we tried to make the rescue a plausible implausibility. We really wanted to avoid the expected... Jon's had this history with the Night King... but it just didn't seem right for Jon to kill the Night King. We've known Arya would be the one to kill the Night King for three years. Well, Dany kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet and Euron's forces, but they certainly haven't forgotten about her. Euron probably wasn't paying attention to what Tyrion was saying. When Dany sees the Red Keep, the symbol of what's been taken from her family... this is the moment she decides to make it personal. Note: D&D can also refer to directors/other writers who've given stunning insights into how a grown-up, adult series like Game of Thrones handles things.
  7. Ultimately, D&D could have negotiated for a safe full of golden coins to swim in and they'd have got it; HBO was convinced they were their golden goose (and given GoT's popularity, it's an understandable business decision). As such, if their golden goose says 'we need unlimited power to oppress the actors, it's, uh, for artistic integrity', I reckon HBO would have said yes. A similar thing happened to JK 'Just Kidding about every previous instance of worldbuilding' Rowling; she's Warner Bros' golden goose, and was given unlimited creative control over Crimes of Grindelwald. And we all know how that turned out. When artists have no editors or screenwriters or actors to bounce off of and limit their worse impulses, they soon go mad with power and start to drink their own coolade.
  8. Ros's death is actually a retroactive point of condemnation, because it turns out Ros got the meaty storyline because D&D liked her actress nude. When the actress said 'if you're gonna make me prominent, I'd like a decent storyline in Season 3, but no more nude scenes'. In response, D&D said 'No more nude scenes, eh? Well fuck you, we're going to unceremoniously kill you off and have the camera indulgently pan over your corpse's tits'. Paraphrasing, but yes, that's why Ros had the overly sexualised death you see in Season 3. They've been spiteful weasels for ages.
  9. The thing is, I don't think they will. I think, just like what they did with Season 5, they'll disappear into the aether claiming they're busy and leave the actors who actually did a semi-decent job to bear the brunt. That way fans look like shit for getting vitriolic at actors who evidently tried their best, D&D don't get to hear mean things, and they also get actors who give way more of a shit about their characters than them to give them a free explanation.
  10. Beardy the Wildling

    D&D's direction (sucks)

    The fact that Sapochnik was willing to outright say that D&D aren't responsive to criticism and make your work life terrible for disagreeing with them shows that all their proud mockery of Barristan's death (which they wrote out of spite) is not hyperbole. They really are just shitty writers, shitty directors, and shitty human beings.
  11. Beardy the Wildling

    Rewriting Season 5...or How You Can Make Two Good Seasons out of Feast AND Dance

    Sad, but true.
  12. Beardy the Wildling

    The Dothraki that Daenerys brought into Westeros

    According to D&D, they all died against the Night King, then half survived to attack King's Landing, then they cheered Dany's First Order speech, then they disappeared into the aether. I'm not the one saying this shit, the showrunners are.
  13. Beardy the Wildling

    Rewriting Season 5...or How You Can Make Two Good Seasons out of Feast AND Dance

    Unfortunately for you, I have D&D on the line right now, and they have their rebuttals ready. Bran: Uhhh, look, we knew Bran was going to be king and as a result, needed to make sure it was a surprise. Cutting him out for a season wasn't just a lack of book material and us not knowing what to do with magical shit in a fantasy, it was a calculated move to make you kInDa FoRgEt about Bran, that way your expectations are nice and subverted when the supposedly minor character becomes king. Sansa: You really expect us to act like feminine skills are anything other than points to be mocked by our memetic shitstain, Lyanna Mormont? Girly things are for dumb idiots, the only way women can be strong if if they take part in a rape-revenge plot or are men with tits. Arya: Uhhhh, this seems too slow. We really just want to get to the part where Arya goes around killing people we've conditioned the audience to despise unconditionally, plus this and Lady Stoneheart just seems like unnecessary magic lore, and we don't like magic lore. Jon: Our vision of Jon is an unproblematic idiot hero, just like our vision of Ned Stark. We can't waste time with politics because we can't write politics for shit because that's just not what our idiot hero Jon is. Plus, we need some hot bastard on bastard action now that Ramsay is the Joker. Daenerys: Sorry, sorry, we just can't take this seriously if you're going to imply men can be catty. They're all badass action heroes or death fodder, don't you know anything about men? Tyrion: We like your ideas, but given Tyrion sells shirts and mugs with his sayings on, we can't afford to make him a darker character-- uh, shit, what I meant to say was, it just doesn't seem right to make Tyrion a bad guy. Cersei: You're doing it again, you're, uh, trying to give a fuck about feminine skills and politics without resorting to explosions or mass kill-offs to reduce the characters we're keeping track of. Are you trying to make the viewers think? The Martells: We can't accept wasting Indira Varma by making her not angry, also, Doran is a cripple and doesn't have magic or kill people, so he isn't a real man and deserves to die. Focusing on manipulation is just hard work for the sake of hard work. Also, Tyene can't infiltrate the High Sparrow's group because we really like the 'bad pussy' line we have planned. Aegon: Wait, the Stormlands exist? Nah, fuck you, you don't know what you're talking about. The Greyjoys: No, no, no, we can't have Euron and religious opposition to evil that makes sense. The Faith Militant is a one-dimensional taliban, the Drowned Men won't make an appearance, and Euron as a sorceror is just fucking stupid. We want to make him a punk rocker Jack Sparrow ripoff who makes cock jokes, can't you understand our priorities? As you can see, they've shown you fair and square why they're the professionals raking in megabux and you're not. What fantastic reasoning from the (hypothetical) Ds.
  14. I can't wait for him to found a university of philosophy in Asshai. He was the draconic scholar that was promised.
  15. It wouldn't be the same without assplay.
  16. I wouldn't mind if he, you know, didn't claim to have a screenwriting degree. If he was like 'yeah, I have these under my belt', that would be fine. Plenty of writers don't have official qualifications. It was the fact he felt the need to lie about this shit that makes him a scumbag.
  17. What I mean by no screenwriting qualifications is no formal training. As in, he lied about having a screenwriting degree. Yes, he wrote Troy, X Men Origins, and whatnot, but that doesn't take away from the fact he told GRRM he had a screenwriting degree when he didn't, and seems to hold formal qualifications with contempt, given his bitterness against eighth grade book reports. As for when, he fucking tweeted about his lie. He was that proud of it. As for screenwriting degrees, yes, they're a thing. Here's just one site of many pointing to universities that do them: https://www.bachelorstudies.com/BA/Screenwriting/
  18. Ye. Still, that is much less rushed than 'sell Sansa out to a psychotic enemy to somehow get revenge on them'.
  19. Beardy the Wildling

    The death of the Dothraki and racism

    Pretty sure it was Valyrian, which is even dumber, as the dothraki present cheer like they know what she's saying. 'IT'S JUST GENERIC FOREIGN CONLANG, THE VIEWERS WON'T NOTICE' - David Benioff, probably.
  20. Beardy the Wildling

    The death of the Dothraki and racism

    Not the first time D&D have assumed this (eg: The disappearing Stormlanders, Reachers and Riverlanders).
  21. Beardy the Wildling

    Why S8 feels wierd.

    I think a lot of people think you need to be a carpenter to point out when a table is missing a leg. Not so, not so.
  22. What I mean by 'earlier than expected' is 'prior to the Bolton occupation being routed and being handed over to the Boltons as a key to the north by a mentally deficient Littlefinger. 'Not a whole GRRM length book length earlier but still earlier', quite unbelievably, counts as 'earlier'. I expected my point to be sufficiently clear, but I suppose not. I don't expect her to spend TWOW entirely in the Vale, but definitely I expect her to secure an important husband (likely Harry the Heir) before making any demands of the Valemen.
  23. Referring to the fiction-writing definition of character assassination, that is, suddenly turning all the redeemable traits about a character into lies and amping up their negative attributes to insane levels just to facilitate a plot outcome.
  24. I agree that plenty of stuff from S6 is evocative of what winds will offer, but I think S7 and S8 are really very bare-bones basic events only. There's no way that Jaime is going to say to Tyrion (who he's suddenly okay with) that he never really cared about the people of King's Landing.
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