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About Masonity

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  1. I find it rather easy to have sympathy for a young man who hasn't been convicted of any crime (or even publicly accused right now), who died in custody.
  2. Because the implication was that the drugs had killed him. Restricting the mobility and airflow of someone who you believe has something in their mouth that could result in suffocation is pretty negligent. Criminally so, perhaps? Until the enquiry is complete I don't find it particularly reassuring that our resident boy in blue is pretty much gloating about the kid's death.
  3. Has your opinion on this changed now it's clear that it wasn't illegal narcotics? Calling someone who dies in custody a "fucking idiot" isn't exactly a great way to foster trust and understanding with the community.
  4. Ah yeah I use it plenty for munches / events, but other than that mostly for socialising with people I've either met or spoke to elsewhere, like OKCupid. Maybe I should try messaging a few people with similar interests. I mean, as long as it's respectful then what's the worst that can happen?
  5. How do you use fet for dating? I always feel messaging people there trying to chat them up would be a bit uncouth. It's more a social media site than a dating site?
  6. I can actually help with the how you drop the bomb... You do it slowly. When my wife realised I was into stuff she wasn't, she off handedly suggested if I was super desperate I could always try those kinks with other people. A little later I let her know I'd be cool with her being with other women, then a little later with other guys if she wanted to too. Then when I came out as bi she asked if I wanted to just outright open the relationship. Every step of the way it was one of us offering the other freedoms, not asking for them ourselves. Neither of us did anything until that final opening either.
  7. As a parent; AAAA(h! Real Monsters!)
  8. Then no-one gets drinks outside. See, the thing is, if I'm free / not busy, I happily run drinks for anyone. Preference will go to regular customers, then people who have tipped me, then people who ask, then finally people who's drinks just look a bit empty. I'll offer. If I'm really busy, no-one is getting drinks brought to them. There's a big queue at the bar for a reason, and I have ten million things that need doing to make sure those drinks carry on appearing. I have food to take out, plates to clear, glasses to collect. I'm helping out the barbacks and the kitchen and whoever else needs it. If it's somewhere in between and I have a chance to do stuff for people, but not much and it is going to inconvinience me / make my job harder / make me run around rather than taking 5 in the back room and actually catching my breath... Well, if you aren't a regular and/or tipping me, I'm going to choose to take that moment to myself rather than offering you a drink. Also, the oil tycoon won't necessarily be served ahead of you. If you are drinking in the City in an expensive riverside bar, and want drinks brought outside when there's no table service, then telling me to "keep the change" rather than have me count that £1,05 out for you is going to put you in my good books, and mean I'll try to look out for you. I'd never not do my job because someone doesn't tip. However its up to me when and with who I go the extra mile and go beyond what I'm supposed to do. That might mean drinks outside on a hot day when the bar queue is half hour long and you can't be arsed to move. That might mean me finding out where exactly Downtown Abbey was filmed and getting you directions so you can go visit it tomorrow. That might mean making your pregnant girlfriend a crushed fruit non alcoholic cocktail even though it means a couple of minutes of cleaning the equipment and it's not something we usually offer, so I'll probably be giving away free or charging as an orange juice anyway. I physically can't take the time to do that for every customer. And if I tried to do it for as many customers as I could, it'd mean I'd never have any recovery time myself and would probably collapse six hours into a shift. So I have to pick and choose who I help out. Would you also be upset to find out the Virgin Media guy also hung someone's flatscreen TV for them when he did their second box install, because he remembered them giving him a fiver "for a drink" when he installed the main box? Does that mean he should have to hang your TV for you? No, because it was a personal favour, going above and beyond his job. So are the things I'd reserve for a regular, a tipper or someone who I feel sorry for. I don't let the standard, basic services I'm paid to provide suffer regardless of how you treat me.
  9. This is true. Banning tipping isn't the answer though. A tip should be an option, but it should be a "hey, you deserve this!" thing, not a "here, custom dictates I give you this!" thing. The default wage should be at least minimum shop wage. The default tip should be 0. However banning tipping takes away the possibility of making a little extra in exchange for going that extra mile. Here in the UK, the average customer doesn't tip. When I work my ass off giving a party great service, bring you drinks outside on a hot day when there's officially no table service or make you cocktails despite the fact we technically don't sell them due to the time they take to make / type of bar we are the customers should have the option to thank me for it with a small tip though. Whether it's a "keep the change", a "buy one for yourself" or £2-3 "here, thanks!" on top of a round or a £5/£10/£20 at the end of the night. A regular not tipping will still be a priority, but a stranger slipping me a fiver is going to get their drinks delivered all night even if it leaves me doing ten things at once while one who doesn't will be told (truthfully) "Sorry, I'm too busy at the moment. You'll have to queue at the bar" if they try for a second round. Tips should be a thank you for going above and beyond, basic wages for basic service should be baked into the prices and paid out by the employer.
  10. I wouldn't work somewhere that banned tipping. I'm paid an okay hourly rate for what I do, and the service charge I get from big parties and the like boosts it to at least half again the minimum wage. That said, tips are still nice and appreciated. If I go out of my way for you it's a great way to say thanks, and if there are hundreds of customers outside, a queue ten deep at the bar and I have my arms full of plates/glasses the fact you tend to tip will tend to mean I'll still stop and see if I can get you a topup / save you queuing at the bar rather than just ignoring you and doing my job by the book.