Would Ned Be upset with Lyanna?

[Jak Scaletongue]

On 2015-11-29 at 2:57 AM, SilentDystopia said:

If she lived and Rhaegar won against Robert(he is either killed or exiled to Essos) Would Ned Resent Lyanna? I remember reading something (i think on reddit) where someone said Rhaegar would have blamed everything on his father, tell Ned him and Lyanna are in love, and then lead him(Ned) to Lyanna. Then him and Rhaegar would have been cool with each other and Lyanna would become Rhaegar's wife (2nd because Tywin would not sack KL if Rhaegar won)

 

I THINK Ned wouldn't be so happy, he lost his brother, father, and now best friend just believe Lyanna didn't want to marry Robert.

Also this is just with the theory that she ran off with Rhaegar, if she was kidnapped this post would be super different; so please have the "she eloped" mindset when replying  

He'd be in that really weird state of mind parents and older siblings get when a younger kid "runs away" from home (I'm not talking kids who have a reason to run away, I'm talking kids who are just angry over something stupid and "run away" to the park or grandma's or a friends).  Everyone's all panicked while they're gone, and scared and upset.  Then you find the kid sitting at the park and you're happy and glad and angry all at once - happy they're safe, angry they ran away over something stupid (in your head).

I think Ned would be somewhere in that state of mind - happy Lyanna's found and safe but absolutely pissed she ran in the first place and pissed about everything her running caused.  (Since we have no idea if she ran, what she was running from, who she was running from or to, etc. I'm not going to get into whether she falls into the "had a reason to run" or "ran away for stupid reasons" because we simply don't know if she actually had a reason to run or she was just being stupid.  At this point, one is roughly as likely as the other.)

[Tijgy]

Ned is good in burying his feelings about his beloved one's mistakes. He buries his feelings towards Robert's actions regarding the death of the Targaryen's for years. The only thing we know how felt about his sister was he loved her with all his heart and that her wolf blood led her to an early grave (and but her a little responsibility for own death on her own shoulders? But do we not get a little (hidden) information how Ned felt about Lyanna and Rhaegar? 

Can you not say Barra's mother does represent Lyanna in Ned's mind and Robert Rhaegar?

Quote

 

(After remembering Lyanna and her feelings on her betrothal) "The girl had been so young Ned had not dared to ask her age. No doubt she'd been a virgin."And tell him I've not been with no one else. I swear it, milord, by the old gods and new. Chataya said I could have half a year, for the baby, and for hoping he'd come back. So you'll tell him I'm waiting, won't you? I don't want no jewels or nothing, just him. He was always good to me, truly. 

Good to you, Ned thought hollowly. "I will tell him, child, and I promise you, Barra shall not go wanting." She had smiled then, a smile so tremulous and sweet that it cut the heart out of him. Riding through the rainy night, Ned saw Jon Snow's face in front of him, so like a younger version of his own. If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts? " (Eddard IX)

(...)

"Some whorehouse? Damn your eyes, Robert, I went there to have a look at your daughter! Her mother has named her Barra. She looks like that first girl you fathered, when we were boys together in the Vale." He watched the queen as he spoke; her face was a mask, still and pale, betraying nothing.

Robert flushed. "Barra," he grumbled. "Is that supposed to please me? Damn the girl. I thought she had more sense."

"She cannot be more than fifteen, and a whore, and you thought she had sense?" Ned said, incredulous. His leg was beginning to pain him sorely. It was hard to keep his temper. "The fool child is in love with you, Robert."

 

Just like Barra's mother, Lyanna is young, around fifteen and a virgin. Both girl are waiting with their children for their prince/King and love him. Just like Lyanna, Barra smiles after Ned gives her a promise and that smile cuts Ned's heart out. Ned thinks of bastards: Barra and Jon. There is also a reference in this sequence to a younger version of himself. 

Towards Robert, Ned feels temper and he thinks him lustful. So maybe this might mean he also was angry for Rhaegar for eloping his sister? (Yeah, he does not literally shown any anger or negative feelings towards Rhaegar. But at the same time he is glorifying Robert for smashing Rhaegar on the trident and hoping he would do the same thing to the Lannisters. And except for the few moments where Ned shows fear for Robert to become the Mad King, he does not really show any negative feelings towards Aerys ... Maybe he does not only bury his negative feelings towards his loved ones but also towards his enemies?- "Even now, he was a Stark of Winterfell, and his grief and his rage froze hard inside him"). 

And while he certainly never shown any negative feelings towards Lyanna, he does consider Barra's mother a fool child who is in love with Robert/Rhaegar, someone who has not many sense, ... Maybe is this the way he also felt about Lyanna: a child who fell in love with her prince and who without any sense left with him (as a result of her wolfsblood). It is still Rhaegar who in his eyes caries the blame because he was lustful and his sister was just a fool to believe Rhaegar was also in love with her. But he buried of course those feelings with her death. 

 

 

[Yet Another ASOIAF Fan]

While I do agree that this is partially flawed as we only know of post-RR Ned, in my opinion the books seems to show Ned as a 'Love the sinner, hate the sin'* kind of person when it comes to his family.

*(I am not referring to the event as sin/Lyanna as a sinner, I am only using it as a phrase to explain Ned's feelings towards Lyanna doing something he might have disagreed with.)