what is dead may never die: a Theon Greyjoy reread project

[INCBlackbird]

I've always taken the "your first is always beautiful" as a double meaning. He's referring to his first ship in the language of sex: as in, "your first sexual partner is always beautiful" - which again harks back to the façade Theon throws up in order to conform to (what he thinks) are social expectations.

that's a good point! And tbh, it happened to me a lot (the first few times I read that chapter) that when the chapter starts and he goes "she was undeniably a beauty" I thought he was talking about Asha, because I forgot he went to look at the ship. it definitly seems like he's talking about a girl, which might be what GRRM intended by not stating he was looking at a ship first but leaving us in the dark for a few sentences.

[INCBlackbird]

aaargh! so I haven't posted on here in ages, life has been kind of crazy and the end of the school year is coming up. but I have more chapters that i'm finished analysing so i'll just leave this here for y'all.

THEON III

Summary:

Theon has won what is presumably his first battle (as a leader) and he is confronted with the harsh reality that he will have to kill people he knows, like Benfred Tallheart. Contrary to his expectations he cannot get any joy out of his victory but he comes up with a plan that he presents to Dagmer Clefjaw because to make it work he needs his approval.

Analysis:

The death of Benfred Tallheart:

It becomes clear that when Theon thrust into the reality of being a leader, he has trouble with the responsibility that comes with it.

Theon seems genuinely surprised that when he invades the north, where he grew up half his life, he will be fighting against people that he knows! “He had ordered their leader spared for questioning. Only he had not expected it to be Benfred Tallhart.” Honestly, what did you expect Theon? This is another clear example of Theon avoiding to consider that a situation might lead to ANYTHING he doesn’t like, even when it’s this obvious!

“’You will come as well. You command here. The offering should come from you.’ That was more than Theon could stomach.“ For all his big talk, Theon seems to be rather Squamish. When imagining his future Theon didn’t take killing people he knows into the equation, he only added the things he liked and of course the reality is very different from Theon’s romanticized version and when he is confronted with this reality and has to act on it, he “can’t stomach it” and tries to wiggle out.

Theon also feels guilty about the situation: “Tallhart, you’ve spit away your life, Theon thought.” and tries to justify it by putting the responsibility on Benfred himself.

“Down to the pebbled beach they would go, to drown Benfred Tallhart in salt water. The old way. Perhaps it’s a kindness, Theon told himself as he stalked off in the other direction. Stygg was hardly the most expert of headsmen, and Benfred had a neck thick as a boar’s, heavy with muscle and fat. I used to mock him for it, just to see how angry I could make him, he remembered.” The tactic of; “it could have been worse” to make the situation seem less bad than it is and make himself feel better.

“Gevin Harlaw knelt on a dead man’s chest, sawing off his finger to get at a ring. Paying the iron price. My lord father would approve. Theon thought of seeking out the bodies of the two men he’d slain himself to see if they had any jewelry worth the taking, but the notion left a bitter taste in his mouth. He could imagine what Eddard Stark would have said. Yet that thought made him angry too. Stark is dead and rotting, and naught to me, he reminded himself.”

This quote clearly shows Theon’s conflict when it comes to Ned Stark, we have seen before that he rationally knows Ned was his captor and yet he has to remind himself, that Ned is not of importance, that he is not supposed to identify with him, that he is supposed to be a Greyjoy, who does Greyjoy things. But he can’t even bring himself to take part in what is the core of their culture: to steal from the people he’s killed (“we do not sow”)

“He tossed his bow back to Wex and strode off, remembering how elated he’d felt after the Whispering Wood, and wondering why this did not taste as sweet.”

Why can’t Theon feel joy over his victory? The answer to that question is simple: it hasn’t gotten him any closer to what he really wants: love, acceptance, a place to belong, being a Stark. In the whispering wood, he had Robb and he had his certainty that one day he would go back to the iron islands and his father would be proud. Now both of those things have been taken away from him, and this fight hasn’t brought him any closer to regaining them, on the contrary: rationally he knows he won’t get Robb back as a friend, they’re enemies now (even though Theon will tell himself something different) and he can’t prove himself to his father by raiding the stony shore. What’s also important about this is that he’s got a very low self-confidence and he needs to feed his confidence to feel good, which means he needs things that are bad to change for the better IMMEDIATELY. He has no patience because when something doesn’t go right, right way (like doing one thing and immediately regaining his father’s respect) his low self-esteem will tell him that he will NEVER regain it at all.

I think this is why he decides to attack Winterfell. Consciously he tells himself that it will get him his father’s respect back. And that’s part of the reason yes, but there’s more too it! He is attached to Winterfell. He has associated that place with the kind of family he wants to be a part off (the Starks), during his captivity he probably blurred his vision of the Greyjoy family with that of the Starks and thought that when he went home, his family would be the same, but they aren’t. So now he wants to go back to the place that made him feel like he had a future still and he wants to hold it, he wants that place for himself because he associates it with a whole lot of positivity that has been taken away from him since he went home. Winterfell has a lot of emotional value to Theon, he’s attached and can’t part with it.

“And after all is done and won, they will make songs for that bitch Asha, and forget that I was even here. That is, if he allowed it.”

At first Theon thinks that his glory will go to Asha, but then he thinks that he has control over it, that it will only do so if he allows it. This is another instant of Theon deluding himself into believing he’s in control.

Theon and Dagmer:

We also find out a little about Theon’s childhood on the iron islands, in particular that Dagmer, while not his real family (though Theon has always called him “uncle”) was more of a father figure to him than his real father ever was.

“Dagmer grinned more often and more broadly than Lord Balon ever had. Ugly as it was, that smile brought back a hundred memories. Theon had seen it often as a boy, when he’d jumped a horse over a mossy wall, or flung an axe and split a target square. He’d seen it when he blocked a blow from Dagmer’s sword, when he put an arrow through a seagull on the wing, when he took the tiller in hand and guided a longship safely through a snarl of foaming rocks. He gave me more smiles than my father and Eddard Stark together. Even Robb... he ought to have won a smile the day he’d saved Bran from that wildling, but instead he’d gotten a scolding, as if he were some cook who’d burned the stew.”

A few important things about this quote:

1. Dagmer is another example of someone he likes (in Aeron’s case, used to like) who smiles a lot. And Theon clearly associates his smiles with fond memories of Dagmer actually caring for him and approving of him. I think Dagmer (and Aeron) were part of the reason Theon took on his smiling technique.
   
2. Theon is clearly bothered by the lack of smiles he got from his two respective parental figures. And even Robb, he is clearly still hung up about the incident in the woods and he is not at all aware of the fact that Robb IS actually grateful for what he did.
   

Considering what we know now about his relationship with Dagmer, it’s understandable that Theon went to him with his plan. But instead of appealing to their good shared memories, Theon tries to outsmart him. He thinks he can manipulate him if he says the right things:

“’Your lord father commanded us to harry the coast, no more.’ Eyes pale as sea foam watched Theon from under those shaggy white eyebrows. Was it disapproval he saw there, or a spark of interest? The latter, he thought... hoped... ‘You are my father’s man.’ ’His best man, and always have been.’ Pride, Theon thought. He is proud, I must use that, his pride will be the key. ‘There is no man in the Iron Islands half so skilled with spear or sword.’”

And he does try to make use of this pride: “’If I had a man like you in my service, I should not waste him on this child’s business of harrying and burning. This is no work for Lord Balon’s best man.’ Dagmer’s grin twisted his lips apart and showed the brown splinters of his teeth. ‘Nor for his trueborn son?’ He hooted. ‘I know you too well, Theon. I saw you take your first step, helped you bend your first bow. ‘Tis not me who feels wasted.’ ‘By rights I should have my sister’s command,’ he admitted, uncomfortably aware of how peevish that sounded.” But of course Theon just projects his own feelings on Dagmer, and he easily sees through it.

“’You take this business too hard, boy. It is only that your lord father does not know you. With your brothers dead and you taken by the wolves, your sister was his solace. He learned to rely on her, and she has never failed him.’ ‘Nor have I. The Starks knew my worth. I was one of Brynden Blackfish’s picked scouts, and I charged with the first wave in the Whispering Wood. I was that close to crossing swords with the Kingslayer himself.’ Theon held his hands two feet apart. ‘Daryn Hornwood came between us, and died for it.’ ‘Why do you tell me this?’ Dagmer asked. ‘It was me who put your first sword in your hand. I know you are no craven.’ ‘Does my father?’”

The reason Theon tells Dagmer this, is because while convincing him, Theon is also convincing himself of his own worth again. If his father doubts it, that means he doubts it because Theon’s already fragile self-esteem is very sensitive to critic and the inability of others to believe in him.

The first signs of being a bad leader:

Theon let’s people walk all over him in this chapter as well:

Theon specifically ordered for the leader to be spared for questioning and yet when Aeron wants to kill him, Theon fails to stop him, despite having the authority in the situation. “’When he spits on you, he spits on all of us. He spits on the Drowned God. He must die.’ ‘My father gave me the command here, Uncle.’ ’And sent me to counsel YOU.’ And to watch me. Theon dare not push matters too far with his uncle. The command was his, yes, but his men had a faith in the Drowned God that they did not have in him, and they were terrified of Aeron Damphair. I cannot fault them for that.” Theon points out that he has the command here, his men will respect him more if he simply stands up for himself (even though it’s going against Aeron, probably even especially BECAUSE it’s going against Aeron) but the problem is that Theon isn’t trying to be a leader he is trying to get people to like him by giving them what he thinks they want (they follow Aeron, so I should follow Aeron too, that way we’re all in agreement and they’ll like me.)

And in the end, questioning Benfred would have been a good idea: “’To strike terror into the heart of the foe, as only one of your name could do. You’ll take the great part of our force and march on Torrhen’s Square. Helman Tallhart took his best men south, and Benfred died here with their sons. His uncle Leobald will remain, with some small garrison.’ If I had been able to question Benfred, I would know just how small.” Theon could have easily defended himself, but he chose not to, he let Aeron walk all over him which is exactly what a good leader can’t do, if he wants his men to listen to him (which is necessary to avoid the chaotic mess of Theon’s future chapters) he needs to show them that they can’t just do as they like.

Conclusion:

So for all his big talk, Theon is rather squamish, a bad leader with little stamina and even though he claims to be trying to be an ironborn he can’t seem to stop acting like a Stark.

[INCBlackbird]

BRAN VI

Summary:

Ser Rodrik took the bait Theon set for him (having Dagmer attack Torrhen’s square) and few men are left in Winterfell, Theon takes the next step in his plan and invades Winterfell and forces Bran to yield the castle to him. The people of Winterfell are assembled in the great hall. When bran arrives Theon is already there, sitting in Robb’s chair. Theon announces that he is the prince of Winterfell and that he will be a just leader but when Mikken repeatedly insults him Stygg kills him. Both Reek and Osha bend the knee and swear loyalty to house Greyjoy.

Analysis:

Theon and Bran:

Theon has trouble putting himself into Bran’s shoes.

“Theon Greyjoy followed him into the bedchamber. ‘We’re not here to harm you, Bran.’ ‘Theon?’ Bran felt dizzy with relief. ‘Did Robb send you? Is he here too?‘ ‘Robb’s far away. He can’t help you now.’ ‘Help me?’ He was confused. ‘Don’t scare me, Theon.’ ‘I’m Prince Theon now. We’re both princes, Bran. Who would have dreamed it? But I’ve taken your castle, my prince.’”

What I find remarkable about this quote is that when Theon enters Bran’s bedroom he assumes Bran knows they are enemies now. While there is no way for Bran to know this, he is an 8 year old boy who has no idea that Theon has just conquered the castle, he even feels relief when he sees Theon because as far as he knows he was with Robb, fighting on their side. But it’s been established before that Theon doesn’t view things from other people’s perspectives, he doesn’t take into consideration what other people know/don’t know he just assumes they see it the same way he does. But in this case it goes even further I think, because Bran says “Did Robb send you?” which makes it abundantly clear he doesn’t know even if Theon hadn’t considered it he should realize this now, but instead Theon seems to interpret what Bran said completely differently, thinking he’s asking if Robb is there to help him.

The prince of Winterfell:

“’I’ve yielded Winterfell to Theon.’ ‘Louder, Bran. And call me prince.’”

Once again the importance of status to Theon becomes apparent, because he derives confidence from it. And it’s no different in this case. the word Prince is just that, a word, but still it is important to Theon that Bran calls him a prince because it makes him feel powerful, in control and equal to Bran (and Robb) it’s no accident that he chose to sit in Robb’s chair either. Theon doesn’t derive power or confidence from himself, he derives it from status and symbols.

I would also like to discuss Theon’s entire behavior in this scene. It’s all one huge display of arrogance and power, which is clearly just overcompensation. In addition he’s very much acting like he’s ruthless, even though we know that he is actually rather Squamish. “’If you think you can hold the north with this sorry lot o’- ‘The bald man drove the point of his spear into the back of Mikken’s neck. Steel slid through flesh and came out his throat in a welter of blood. […] ‘Who else has something to say?’ asked Theon Greyjoy.”

Just Like Eddard Stark vs just like The Greyjoys:

Theon keeps insisting that he will Be as good as leader as Ned Stark was “’serve me as loyally as you served Ned Stark, you’ll find me as generous a lord as you could want.’” Because this is his example of what a good lord is. Throughout his chapters, Theon always compares himself to Ned Stark as well, he intends to be like him, also because he wants the kind of respect Ned got from his people. What Theon fails to see though, is the very obvious reality that he’s just invaded these people’s lands and declared them his hostages. No amount of “being like Ned Stark” will change that. It’s amazing how Theon sometimes fails to understand even things as obvious as this, but this is simply another instance of him not putting himself in other people’s shoes and only looking at the situation from his perspective.

“’I will be as good a lord to you as Eddard Stark ever was.’ Theon raised his voice to be heard above the smack of wood on flesh. ‘Betray me, though, and you’ll wish you hadn’t.’” and here it becomes even more interesting, because in just these two lines Theon is trying to be both a Greyjoy and a Stark. Insisting that he will be a good lord, and not just any good lord, he takes Ned Stark as an example of one again. Immediately following it with a threat (a threat a good lord probably wouln’t NEED to express because through his actions his people will be intimidated enough), trying to impose fear and keep his subjects loyal through said fear, which is (or what Theon thinks is) a more Greyjoy way of dealing with this kind of situation. Sadly, Theon fails spectacularly at both because neither of them are the real him, they are both him trying to be something he’s not because he considers it the only way to get what he wants.

Conclusion:

Theon repeatedly clarifies his intensions to his captives, he wants to be a good leader, resembling Ned Stark’s rule. Unfortunately things don’t go all that smoothly, he shows that he can’t take on another person’s perspective, even about simple things as which information that person has. And he is, at the same time trying to control the people of Winterfell, who aren’t responding as well as he expected them to, and then there’s him trying to be a Greyjoy as well, obviously he can’t be all of that at the same time.

[ornitorrinca]

Hi! Just stopping by to show some appreciation; I'm happy to see you've continued to update this interesting re-read! Hopefully I'll find the time to read the corresponding chapters along with your analyses sometime soon.

[Diregirl]

Theon never sees what's really there - including his own actions. To me, he's one of the most annoying characters: goes off and kills people and then tells them it's their own fault and they made him do it. Whine whine whine. He's in this big fairy land of make belief where he doesn't realize it might be impossible to hold on to Winterfell with about two dozen men. Asha gets it right when she tells him it's impossible, but does he a) believe her or B) listen? Nah.

It's status - the right outfit - competing with Asha - hiding that he's feeling insecure - showing his father he's made of such stern stuff - never: "What can I really achieve with what I've got and what makes sense in the long term? And why am I really doing this?"

I realize he's been badly damaged by his experience as a hostage - he lost his own family and culture and never found a new one in the Starks and the culture of the North, but still, his attitude is unbearable or, to be charitable, heartbreaking and tragic. He really runs towards his own doom with one bad decision after another. I sometimes play the "if I had a time machine and could send a couple of really outstanding therapists to Westeros, who would profit most?"-game, and Theon would be one of the contenders. But instead of therapy he gets...Ramsay Bolton. :-(

(But then, he's how old? 17? Rather young to step in the footsteps of Ned Stark.)

[The Marquis de Leech]

(But then, he's how old? 17? Rather young to step in the footsteps of Ned Stark.)

He's 19 in AGOT, 20 during the capture of Winterfell.

[Diregirl]

He's 19 in AGOT, 20 during the capture of Winterfell.

Oh my, 20 years old.

I realize they were supposed to be very mature at a young age in the middle ages, but apparently not everybody got the memo... Theon certainly didn't.

[INCBlackbird]

Theon never sees what's really there - including his own actions. To me, he's one of the most annoying characters: goes off and kills people and then tells them it's their own fault and they made him do it. Whine whine whine. He's in this big fairy land of make belief where he doesn't realize it might be impossible to hold on to Winterfell with about two dozen men. Asha gets it right when she tells him it's impossible, but does he a) believe her or B) listen? Nah.

It's status - the right outfit - competing with Asha - hiding that he's feeling insecure - showing his father he's made of such stern stuff - never: "What can I really achieve with what I've got and what makes sense in the long term? And why am I really doing this?"

I realize he's been badly damaged by his experience as a hostage - he lost his own family and culture and never found a new one in the Starks and the culture of the North, but still, his attitude is unbearable or, to be charitable, heartbreaking and tragic. He really runs towards his own doom with one bad decision after another. I sometimes play the "if I had a time machine and could send a couple of really outstanding therapists to Westeros, who would profit most?"-game, and Theon would be one of the contenders. But instead of therapy he gets...Ramsay Bolton. :-(

(But then, he's how old? 17? Rather young to step in the footsteps of Ned Stark.)

oh yeah definitly! Theon refuses to see the truth, I think that's really it, he could if he let himself but he doesn't want to deal with the truth so he stubbornly refuses to see it and twists and turns it in his head until he believes the truth is something completely different. and It actually goes so far that he starts believing his own lies, I haven't posted this chapter yet but I've written it, in his 5th clash chapter he is so paranoid that he believes people are out to get him in winterfell because people are being murdered, even though he knows that he's the one who's murdering those people, and he just tells everyone that someone is killing his men and trying to kill him to cover up the murders and he gets so paranoid that he can't separate those lies from the truth anymore. I think partially also because he feels guilty and he'd rather believe he's not doing all these awful things he never thought he'd do. But because he's such a terrible leader he works himself into more and more problems and he's so insecure and needs to do so many things to feed his confidence that he's so easily manipulatable and he's too much in his own head to ever be able to rule, eventually it becomes a spiral of screw ups and he just falls deeper and deeper until he can't get out anymore. I can totally see why people would find him an annoying character, it can be quite frustrating to read and make you go "come on, use your damn head you fool!"

The Asha thing is one of those things as well, he is not thinking about what she's telling him and whether or not she's right, he's thinking "she's trying to steal my crown by taking away my achievement (winterfell) but I won't listen to her." he actually realizes the mistake he made right after but by than it's too late. It's another example of him being way too much in his own head, he assumes everyone's out to get him, also because he thinks in extremes, asha's bullied him before so clearly that means she's ALL evil and all she wants is to take away hs limelight.

I love characters like this, he's so emotionally unstable! and I do think that him being taken as a hostage has a lot to do with it. Mainly because he has no experience in leadershp of any kind, since he was born his life has been in other people's hands, he's also got the whole identity crisis going on and the fact that since people have been using him as a tool, not considering his personality, he doesn't really know who he is, he sees himself as other people see him, his status is what counts and he's so insecure which makes for a horrible leader. He would definitly benefit from a therapist I think. He should also be taught how to be a leader if he wants to be one, how to stand in life and he should be given some love because that's pretty much what he wants, only he wants it too desparately which means he fails time and time again to give people a reason to love him (most people get it unconditionally anyway, which is how people don't grow up being so desparate for it)

[INCBlackbird]

Oh my, 20 years old.

I realize they were supposed to be very mature at a young age in the middle ages, but apparently not everybody got the memo... Theon certainly didn't.

the irony is that Theon considers himself oh so mature, if you look at his attitude, he's always trying to show people how increadably mature he is, but it's just another form of overcompensating because of his insecurety, in reality he's not mature at all. he may have 6 years on Jon Snow, but Jon is MUCH more mature than Theon.

[Diregirl]

the irony is that Theon considers himself oh so mature, if you look at his attitude, he's always trying to show people how increadably mature he is, but it's just another form of overcompensating because of his insecurety, in reality he's not mature at all. he may have 6 years on Jon Snow, but Jon is MUCH more mature than Theon.

I totally agree with your analysis, I think "insecure" is the keyword that explains Theon as a character, insecure and overcompensating. Remember how he is not interacting a lot with anybody at the beginning of the series, just giving everybody his little ironic smile (and occasionally kicking a lopped-off head to look superhard). He never really BELONGS, not to the Starks, not his own family, not to his own men, and this just eats at him. And then everything he thinks he is is taken away by that Westeros' super nasty super sadist Ramsay. I am very much looking forward to reading the rest of his story arc - how he finds his Inner Theon againthat may never die and rises again etc. etc.. At the moment I am rereading volume 3 and I dread going through the Reek chapters again. The. Poor. Guy.

[Dejection]

I wouldn't call Theon squeamish or a coward at all tbh. It's mentioned how he strove to get into a direct confrontation with Jaime Lannister during the battle of the Whispering Woods. Not really what a craven would do.

Theon is a wonderful character and it didn't take me seeing him tortured to feel sympathy for him. Balon and Asha treated him horribly for no good reason really and that must've made him ten times more insecure and unstable. Not belonging to anyone is a terrible feeling.

[INCBlackbird]

I wouldn't call Theon squeamish or a coward at all tbh. It's mentioned how he strove to get into a direct confrontation with Jaime Lannister during the battle of the Whispering Woods. Not really what a craven would do.

Theon is a wonderful character and it didn't take me seeing him tortured to feel sympathy for him. Balon and Asha treated him horribly for no good reason really and that must've made him ten times more insecure and unstable. Not belonging to anyone is a terrible feeling.

I do think Theon is quite squeamish, but that's in the context of the world he lives in. When his men tell him he has to kill Benfred Tallhart, he thinks "That was more than Theon could stomach." Theon really doesn't like killing, unlike a lot of other characters in the books. That's why I call him squeamish. I don't think I'd call him a coward, he was very brave when he saved Bran, he's brave in battle as well. The Jaime Lannister thing is something he brags about though, and he didn't even get to fight him, though he apparently tried to. The fact that he brags about it is a manifestation of his insecurety, fighting is something he's good at so he blows it out of proportion and focusses on it a lot, just like he focusses on his looks and his status because those are pretty much the only indesputably good things the world has given him, at least that's what he believes, BECAUSE it's what others believe.

Theon is my favorite character, not just of asoiaf of any movie/book/tv show i've ever seen/read. and same here, I loved him the moment he went home to Pyke, I felt for him, no one should be treated like that by family, especially since it was like his father blamed HIM for his own failures, sadly lots of parents do that. All Theon ever wanted was to be accepted as he who he was, to be loved and to feel like he belonged, most people have that unconditionally so they don't have to fight for it. People should really be more compassionate to Theon's situation.

[INCBlackbird]

THEON IV

 

Summary:

 

Theon wakes up in the middle of the night, feeling like something is wrong. and indeed, Bran and Rickon have fled the castle, along with the Reeds, Osha, Hodor and the dire wolves. Theon assembles the people of Winterfell but no one is willing to help him.

 

He gathers a party of north- and ironmen and rides out in the morning to search for the Stark boys. After searching for hours Theon is desperate but right before he can make the decision to give up, Reek tells Theon that he knows where the Stark boys are hiding.

 

Analysis:

 

Theon and Kyra:

Theon’s relationship with Kyra, while not exactly deep on an emotional level, is still a part of Theon’s inner conflict that’s important to mention.

Theon mentioned Kyra to Robb in AGOT as one of the girls he frequently sleeps with. “’Sweet Kyra,’ he said with a laugh. ‘She squirms like a weasel in bed, but say a word to her on the street, and she blushes pink as a maid.’” But now in ACOK she plays a bigger role, as the lord of Winterfell, Theon can now do whatever he wants and one of the things he does is bring Kyra to Winterfell. “Kyra had worn him out. Until Theon had sent for her, she had lived all of her eighteen years in the winter town without ever setting foot inside the walls of the castle. She came to him wet and eager and lithe as a weasel, and there had been a certain undeniable spice to fucking a common tavern wench in Lord Eddard Stark’s own bed.” Notice the emphasis on her low birth, this is important to Theon. Because as mentioned before, Theon values status highly (because he derives feelings of self-worth from it)

 

In addition I’d like to mention that Theon uses sex as a distraction and a way to feel in control. “Theon started back to bed. He’d roll Kyra on her back and fuck her again, that ought to banish these phantoms. Her gasps and giggles would make a welcome respite from this silence.” This is technically why Kyra is there, to entertain Theon and distract him from his worries.

 

I think Theon tries to keep an emotional distance from her because she’s lowborn, obviously that means that he can’t care about her but it also means that he can use her to feel better about himself. But Theon tries to keep himself emotionally distant from a lot of people and it usually doesn’t work (the starks, Benfred Tallheart, Patrick Mallister) and it usually doesn’t work because Theon might think he has his emotions under control and that he can decide what he does or doesn’t feel but he really can’t, more the other way around he is very emotionally unstable. And through the things he thinks about her it becomes apparent that he is rather fond of her “Kyra nestled against him, one arm draped lightly over his, her breasts brushing his back. He could hear her breathing, soft and steady.” Which is in clear contrast to how he actually treats her/talks to her: “’M’lord?’ Kyra called sleepily. ‘Go back to sleep, this does not concern you.’ Theon poured himself a cup of wine and drank it down.” I think this is partially due to his stress but also because of his inner denial about his “feelings” for her. With which I don’t mean he is in love with her, I don’t think he is, but I am convinced he cares more about her than he would ever let himself believe.

 

Anxiety and paranoia go hand in hand:

In this chapter we can see Theon’s first signs of his imminent descent into paranoia, though at this point it is mostly due to his inevitable anxiety about the situation he is in.

Theon wakes up in the middle of the night, not knowing why. And with a strange feeling that something is wrong. I attribute this to the simple anxiety that comes with the situation. He’s now holding a castle filled with people who hate him, in the middle of enemy’s lands, something Theon of course didn’t foresee and when he impulsively decided to become the prince of Winterfell “Sleep, Greyjoy, he told himself. The castle is quiet, and you have guards posted. At your door, at the gates, on the armory.” He’s clearly not so confident that everything is indeed alright, otherwise he wouldn’t have to tell himself that it is. “All’s well, Greyjoy. Hear the quiet? You ought to be drunk with joy. You took Winterfell with fewer than thirty men, a feat to sing of.” Theon tries to convince himself that nothing is wrong but reality is catching up with him now that simply romanticizing everything doesn’t make things better anymore. Because he is painfully aware of the situation he’s in now. “Too few men, he thought sourly. I have too few men. If Asha does not come...“ This is what happens when you make rash decisions to counter your feelings of inferiority! You take a castle, knowing you have too few men to hold it! But it momentarily makes you feel good about yourself so you do it anyway, until reality catches up with you and the anxiety starts.

 

Something is wrong that Theon hadn’t counted on though, Bran and Rickon have fled the castle. The main problem with Theon’s anxiety is that it is again filtered through his own version of what exactly the future dangers could be. He is still not thinking rationally and taking all possibilities into account. I think this is mostly due to his inexperience with situations like this. “Theon cursed himself. He should have kept a guard on them, but he’d deemed it more important to have men walking the walls and protecting the gates than to nursemaid a couple of children, one a cripple.” Theon focused his anxieties on someone trying to get inside the castle to throw him out again, and he never even considered that Bran and Rickon may try to escape. In addition, his anxiety makes him all the more emotional and as a result, irrational.

 

“Over the tunic he donned a jerkin of iron-studded leather, and he belted a longsword and dagger at his waist. His hair was wild as the wood, but he had larger concerns.” Even when he’s anxious and in a hurry he still spends time thinking about which clothes to wear and what his hair looks like!

 

“Theon told himself he must be as cold and deliberate as Lord Eddard.” And again, Ned is Theon’s perfect example of a leader. Even when Theon is consciously trying to be a Greyjoy, unconsciously he’s still trying to be a Stark.

 

Guilt and justification:

The way Theon justifies what he does in Winterfell is rather peculiar. I think it’s a combination of the strange idea that when you don’t get hurt by your captors you should be greatful, that the Starks (& people of Winterfell) put in Theon’s head themselves and the fact that Theon finds this a handy thing to focus on to try and absolve him of his feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction.

 

“I’ll give them reason to sob. I’ve used them gently, and this is how they repay me. He’d even had two of his own men whipped bloody for raping that kennel girl, to show them he meant to be just. They still blame me for the rape, though. And the rest. He deemed that unfair.”

I don’t think it’s all that surprising that Theon thinks the people of Winterfell should be grateful to him for “using them gently.” And for not killing them “You’d think the others might be grateful he hadn’t chosen one of them, but no.” After all, that was the mindset they had about Theon’s time in Winterfell as a captive. It’s the mindset he learned from the Starks and the people of Winterfell to begin with. And I don’t think Theon realizes how wrong this mindset is yet.

 

Though, this is also a manifestation of his compensatory narcissism. Theon doesn’t put himself into their shoes, he only looks at it from his perspective and from his perspective he’s been trying to be a just lord (like Eddard Stark was.) And this is where the real paranoia strikes “He wondered how many of them were part of this plot against him.” when you never put yourself into other people’s shoes it’s so much harder to judge when someone’s cheating you, especially when combined with self-induced delusions and anxiety “Theon walked up and down before the prisoners, studying the faces. They all looked guilty to him.”

 

Theon reflects on how none of his prisoners want to help him, how old Nan “gaped at him as if he were some stranger” and all those other people he spent time with in Winterfell “not one of them would meet his eyes. They hate me, he realized.” And THAT really bothers Theon, the idea that they hate him. “Reek stepped close. ‘Strip off their skins,’ he urged, his thick lips glistening. […] ‘There will be no flaying in the north so long as I rule in Winterfell,’ Theon said loudly. I am your only protection against the likes of him, he wanted to scream. He could not be that blatant, but perhaps some were clever enough to take the lesson.” He’s clearly not convinced they understood “the lesson” though, and his inability to control their way of thinking makes him angry. He NEEDS them to root for him, (even though that won’t do anything to help his cause) so he reminds them how much worse it could be. “’Winterfell is yours in my absence. If we do not return, do with it as you will.’ That bloody well ought to have them praying for my success.” All of this makes it abundantly clear how much Theon wants to be liked. Even if he goes about getting people to “like” him in a really unproductive way (‘I’m the better of two bad choices’.)

 

“Mercy, thought Theon as Luwin dropped back. There’s a bloody trap. Too much and they call you weak, too little and you’re monstrous.” This is another clear example of Theon caring too much about what people think of him. People will always think both good and bad things about you but Theon should be doing what he thinks is best, not what will make others like him/respect him. It’s not a surprise though, that he cares so much. As stated before confidence is a social process and Theon’s has been thoroughly damaged by people thinking badly about him.

 

The fear of being laughed at:

And Theon caring a whole lot about what people think of him brings me directly to the next point, his fear of being laughed at and the consequences it has.

 “Asha might well be on her way. And if she learns that I have lost the Starks... It did not bear thinking about.” Theon is really scared of Asha finding out because he’s formed an image in his head now of Asha hating him, wanting to steal his throne and enjoying the way she humiliated him before. He’s seen her bad sides now and since he exaggerates everything he is looking at them through a magnifying glass. “Osha. He had suspected her from the moment he saw that second cup. I should have known better than to trust that one. She’s as unnatural as Asha. Even their names sound alike.” As a defense mechanism for what she’s done to him (mocking him in front of everyone) and his insecurity about that being, in any way, along with his inability to feel at home in Pyke and finding Asha the perfect target for blame there as well (she mocked him so it must be her fault) he has split Asha. Splitting is a form of thinking in extremes, specifically it is viewing a person’s actions/motives in an all-good or all-bad spectrum to stabilize ones sense of self positivity, by perceiving themselves as purely upright and others who do not conform to their will or values as purely wicked or contemptible. Asha has fallen into Theon’s the all-bad spectrum now.

 

“Theon was confident that he’d soon have them [Bran & Rickon] back in his hands.” After just hearing the one piece of good news that they’re ON foot, Theon’s “confident” he’ll find them again. And Theon doesn’t just think/feel about people in extremes, but also about situations: He is anxious about something and just needs that one little thing to be able to tell himself it’ll be ok. And suddenly he’s convinced everything will work out again. It goes from “everything is completely bad” to “everything is completely good” in the span of a few seconds.

 

Theon has assembled a party to go and search for Bran and Rickon and in the morning they set off, however, the search doesn’t go as smoothly as Theon was so confident it would and immediately, the worrying starts again.

 

“He’d have guessed that Osha might run south to Ser Rodrik, but the trail led north by northwest, into the very heart of the wolfswood. Theon did not like that one bit. It would be a bitter irony if the Starks made for Deepwood Motte and delivered themselves right into Asha’s hands. I’d sooner have them dead, he thought bitterly. It is better to be seen as cruel than foolish.” Theon thinking of worst case scenarios is a clear sign of anxiety. Thinking in extremes will lead to anxiety when those extremes turn negative. For Theon this is the worst possible scenario he can come up with, because he’s convince that Asha, in her all-bad spectrum would thoroughly enjoy humiliating him again! And his whole plan was to prove to everyone that they shouldn’t laugh at him, that he deserves their respect. If this came out he’d prove them the opposite and he’d be back to square one. But in Theon’s mind it’s much worse than that, because as mentioned, he already thinks in extremes! When something doesn’t work out right away, he is convinced it’ll never work out, which is ironically part of the reason he made the rash decision to take Winterfell in the first place.

 

As the search goes and hours pass by Theon becomes increasingly more desperate “He told himself to be patient. He’d have them before the day was out.” Here we have Theon trying to fight his growing anxiety again even when he knows it’s hopeless he still won’t give up. “He pressed on long after he knew he should turn back, a growing sense of anxiety gnawing at his belly.” He can’t give up because if he gives up his worst fears (current worst fears) will come true. “Every passing hour increased the likelihood that they would make good their escape. […] The wolves went downstream, that’s all. He clung to that thought.” And as desperation grows, so does his anger “I’ll give them [the direwolves] both to the Drowned God. When the woods began to darken, Theon Greyjoy knew he was beaten.”

 

But why all this desperation, why does this feel like the end of the world to Theon. The answer is simple: “Theon could taste bile at the back of his throat, and his stomach was a nest of snakes twining and snapping at each other. If he crept back to Winterfell empty-handed, he might as well dress in motley henceforth and wear a pointed hat; the whole north would know him for a fool. And when my father hears, and Asha...”

 

In Theon’s mind, not finding the Stark boys means being mocked for life, never being taken seriously, never having that family he so wants and that place to belong that he so longs for. Because he believes his family would never accept him after making such a fool of himself. In Theon’s mind his life is practically over after this. It’s the nail to his coffin. In the end, this is just another example of Theon thinking in extremes and ultimatums, he sees no way out anymore. everything is completely black and white.

 

Reek:

Ramsay of course notices Theon’s vulnerability and gladly starts manipulating him, at first simply by showing him that he’s on his side by being helpful. “’How many are missing?’ ‘Six.’ Reek stepped up behind him, smelling of soap, his long hair moving in the wind.”

Reek has joined the search party as well, being helpful and now that Theon is at his breaking point he comes up with a solution.

 

“’M’Iord prince?’ Reek dismounted, and beckoned Theon to do the same. When they were both afoot, he pulled open the cloth sack he’d fetched from Winterfell. ‘Have a look here.’[…] He drew out a wolf’s-head brooch, silver and jet. Understanding came suddenly. His hand closed into a fist. ‘Gelmarr,’ he said, wondering whom he could trust. None of them. ‘Aggar. Rednose. With us. The rest of you may return to Winterfell with the hounds. I’ll have no further need of them. I know where Bran and Rickon are hiding now.’”

 

Reek must have planned this beforehand and taken Bran’s brooch with him, hoping it would come to this. He was obviously trying to manipulate Theon all along, only, it didn’t work before because Theon wasn’t desperate enough, but after the failed search, he is.

 

“’Prince Theon,’ Maester Luwin entreated, ‘you will remember your promise? Mercy, you said.’   ‘Mercy was for this morning,’ said Theon. It is better to be feared than laughed at. ‘Before they made me angry.’”

 

If he’s going to deceive everyone by pretending the millers boys are Bran and Rickon he has to kill them and now that he has to do that he firmly decides that “it’s better to be feared than laughed at” even though earlier that day he had his doubts about how effective fear really is “His father thought only in terms of conquest, but what good was it to take a kingdom if you could not hold it? Force and fear could carry you only so far.” And Theon’s entire plan in taking Winterfell was to become a loved leader by being a just one (like Ned Stark.) But Theon decides what is the best way to do things, when he has to do it, rather than basing his decisions on what he thinks will work best, he thinks the opposite way (I have to make this decision SO it is the right decision because…) Because he needs to stay confident that whatever he does, will work out just fine. So now he decides that it’s better to be feared than laughed at because he’s too scared of being laughed at and what it will cost him. This is another rash emotional decision that he did not think through at all. What if Bran and Rickon arrive at a village and announce to everyone who they are? Than his entire scheme is worthless. But Theon is too emotional to think, he’s so desperate and scared that this feels like the only possible solution to him. Ramsay has successfully got Theon in his clutches and now he has power over him, something else that Theon didn’t consider. Because Ramsay knows his secret.

 

Observations:

 

While trying to find Bran and Rickon, Maester Luwin asks Theon to be Merciful towards Bran, Rickon the reeds and Hodor and Theon agrees but adds “But say one word about sparing the wildling, and you can die with her. She swore me an oath, and pissed on it.” The maester inclined his head. “I make no apologies for oathbreakers. Do what you must. I thank you for your mercy.”  

 

This is interesting, clearly Theon takes oathbreaking very seriously! Another example of the effect Ned Stark has had on Theon, even though Theon doesn’t realize it himself.

“Theon had his bow; he needed nothing else. Once he had saved Bran’s life with an arrow. He hoped he would not need to take it with another, but if it came to that, he would.” I honestly don’t think Theon would do it. I think this is another instance of Theon convincing himself of how good he is at making the hard decisions and how that makes him such a strong and capable man but he’s just lying to himself again. I feel like, if Theon would really do it, he wouldn’t need to convince himself that he’d do it. He wouldn’t spare a thought on it because it would simply be obvious to him that he’d do it. Theon often tells himself all these things that he CAN do and WILL do, and what will happen in the future because he is insecure about them.

 

Conclusion:

 

Theon’s “relationship” with Kyra is a minor inner conflict, he cares about her and acts out against it (by being a jerk to her) because he thinks he shouldn’t care about considering her status.

 

The first streak of Theon’s paranoia shows up the minute things don’t go according to plan. But even before anything went wrong Theon was already anxious because he might not admit to himself but deep-down he knows that his current situation isn’t exactly ideal.

 

Theon’s fear of being laughed at is linked to how much he cares about what people think of him (obviously) but also to his tendency to think black and white.

 

All of these emotional problems make him very susceptible to manipulation. He’s probably radiating vulnerability at this point and Ramsay gladly makes use of it to get Theon to do what he wants.

[ShaggyCat]

THEON'S AGOT ARC: 

 

§Theon convinces himself that Ned is like a father to him. Positively oversimplifying their relationship to make himself feel better.

§He doesn’t look at situations from other people’s perspectives and expects everyone else to see it the same way as he does.

§Theon blows things out of proportion both the good (winning a fight) and the bad (Robb getting angry at him) because he is led by his emotions rather than his rational side. He has very little emotional control and when something hurts him or makes him feel good he will dwell on it and it will feel a lot bigger than it is. 

 

Wow. When you put it like that, it sounds like Theon had, before Reek got to him, borderline personality disorder (Source: I have BPD. Wildly fluctuating emotions and black/white rigid thinking are key diagnostic hallmarks of BPD.) 

 

Which then makes some of his stupid decisions in ACOK and ASOS make more sense - if he's impulsive and splits his thinking, as well as highly reactive to emotions.... 

[INCBlackbird]

 

Wow. When you put it like that, it sounds like Theon had, before Reek got to him, borderline personality disorder (Source: I have BPD. Wildly fluctuating emotions and black/white rigid thinking are key diagnostic hallmarks of BPD.) 

 

Which then makes some of his stupid decisions in ACOK and ASOS make more sense - if he's impulsive and splits his thinking, as well as highly reactive to emotions.... 

oh wow, I'd never considered that. I've got a really good friend who also has BPD and I have read quite a bit on it and it definitly would make sense. I think it could also be explained by other factors though, mainly his lack of having loving parental figures that valued him for who he was rather than what he was. But maybe i'm gonna go ahead and read some more on BPD and see if I can find more things that point to Theon having it.

He definitly is impulsive and there's also the whole thing of him blowing his bright future out of proportion as an over compensation for his lack of confidense, of course when the time comes that "future" is not nearly as bright as he'd convinced himself it'd be so his confidence sinks even lower, he needs to overcompensate even more and so on and so forth, it's a spiral downward until he's stuck so deep into his own fantasies and his own wrong actions based on those fantasies that he completely snaps.

[Bastetcat]

the thing is that he wasn't accepted in Winterfell (obviously... I mean there's nothing anyone could do about that because he was a captive and a Greyjoy) so he comforted himself by romanticizing the ironborn as a sort of "see! I DO have a place where I belong, I may not fit in here but wait till I go home" so he imagined his homecoming many times (he actually mentions this in clash, but I'm not there yet, I got it all written down though, i'm just revising and editing everything before posting now) and of course he imagined it to be perfect (as he does with everything) not even considering that anything about it could be bad. so than he finally goes home and it is NOT AT ALL what he expected, he doesn't feel at home at all, because of course the Starks have influenced him as well as his own constant romantcization of the ironborn, he has a warped view of his own people and culture at this point and because of his confidense issues and his tendency to think in extremes (if I don't fit in now I'll NEVER fit in) he doesn't allow himself any time to fit in. it's all or nothing and he gets scared that it'll be nothing which makes him emotionally unstable. Because I mean to him it feels like everything is about to be taken away from him, he made himself feel better by convincing himself that when he gets home it'll be better, but it's not better when he comes home, it's worse and now he doesn't have any romanticized ideas of the future to make himself feel better anymore.

 

Which is worse: everyone blames HIM to be different. They mock him, don't make him seriously - they treat him even worse than in WF.
Balon is like: "You are the one who can be blamed for this. I can't have a crown BECAUSE OF YOU. You are not worth it."
Balon started a rebellion, and when he loses, he blames his son. How sober is that?
I was so angry and sad when I read the part where Theon meets his father. It is heartbreaking. 

 

Theon is angry at the Starks: "Do you know how does it feel to be told how lucky you are to be someones captive?" (Or something like that, I cant remember correctly)
He is a captive there. And when he goes back to the Iron Islands, they are like:
"You are at fault here, you SHOULD be like us."

The realization that he was more accepted at the hand of the "enemy" then in your own family... I am not surprised he freaked out mentally.

In Theon's eyes: everyone blames him. Him, the victim!

And then, he meets Reek... And then will he realize, that there is always worse... It is really tragic. I hate reading his POV'S because it always makes me terribly sad. 

[DrunkSister]

This reread has really helped me understand Theon as a character. I hope you get to continue it.

[INCBlackbird]

 

Which is worse: everyone blames HIM to be different. They mock him, don't make him seriously - they treat him even worse than in WF.
Balon is like: "You are the one who can be blamed for this. I can't have a crown BECAUSE OF YOU. You are not worth it."
Balon started a rebellion, and when he loses, he blames his son. How sober is that?
I was so angry and sad when I read the part where Theon meets his father. It is heartbreaking. 

 

Theon is angry at the Starks: "Do you know how does it feel to be told how lucky you are to be someones captive?" (Or something like that, I cant remember correctly)
He is a captive there. And when he goes back to the Iron Islands, they are like:
"You are at fault here, you SHOULD be like us."

The realization that he was more accepted at the hand of the "enemy" then in your own family... I am not surprised he freaked out mentally.

In Theon's eyes: everyone blames him. Him, the victim!

And then, he meets Reek... And then will he realize, that there is always worse... It is really tragic. I hate reading his POV'S because it always makes me terribly sad. 

exactly! it's really sad! And really unfair towards Theon. I really like Asha and I do think she cares about Theon a lot but I am really dissapointed that she'd treat him that way. Than again, I guess it's because she wanted to take her father's place and also, Theon was being an arrogant asshole and she couldn't know that was due to defense mechanism reasons. In the case of Balon, he can't stand that he lost and like many people works that out on someone else, in this case Theon. And actually, Theon is guilty of doing the same thing himself. It's kind of petty but realistic, many people do it. Obviously for Theon this has serious consequences because he needs so much reassurance that he never gets.

I actually think that Theon was more accepted with the ironborn than with the Starks but he certainly didn't think he was because he blows things out of proportion. The only Stark that cared about him was Robb, than again, we shouldn't expect them to care for him, he isn't one of them. whereas on the iron islands his mother cares for him but Theon doesn't go to visit her because he's too busy trying to be macho, and sentiment doesn't fit into that. Dagmer cares for him, Asha cares for him but Theon immediatly puts her in an all bad spectrum because of how bad their reunion went. he'd also have quite a lot of support on the iron islands, victarion says he'd support him for sure. many people would support him just on the basis that he's Balon's son. it's just that Theon thinks they wouldn't because his dad and his sister don't.

[INCBlackbird]

This reread has really helped me understand Theon as a character. I hope you get to continue it.

I'll continue it for sure. i've actually finished writing everything now and I'm just editing everything when i'm finished with that I'll be posting them way more frequently :)

[INCBlackbird]

THEON V

 

Summary:

 

After waking up from a nightmare, Theon finds “Reek” (who is his “trusted” servant now) in his room: he informs him that Asha has finally arrived. She brought twenty men, but only ten are to stay in Winterfell. Asha informs Theon that Rodrik Cassel is on his way back to retake the castle and urges him to leave and come with her to Deepwood Motte, explaining that Winterfell is too far from the sea for the ironborn to hold it. Theon however, stubbornly refuses to let go of his prize. As a last resort Theon takes on Reek’s proposal to go and get him a small army. He leaves Winterfell with a sack of coins and Theon’s last hope.

 

Analysis:

 

Nightmares

 “All his dreams had been cold of late, and each more hideous than the one before.”

Theon’s nightmares are a subconscious manifestation of Theon’s delusions, guilt and fears. In addition they include some foreshadowing:

“The sky was a gloom of cloud, the woods dead and frozen. Roots grabbed at Theon’s feet as he ran, and bare branches lashed his face (1), leaving thin stripes of blood across his cheeks. He crashed through heedless, breathless, icicles flying to pieces before him. Mercy, he sobbed. From behind came a shuddering howl that curdled his blood. Mercy, mercy. When he glanced back over his shoulder he saw them coming, great wolves the size of horses with the heads of small children. Oh, mercy, mercy. Blood dripped from their mouths black as pitch, burning holes in the snow where it fell. (2) Every stride brought them closer. Theon tried to run faster, but his legs would not obey. The trees all had faces, and they were laughing at him, laughing, (3) and the howl came again. He could smell the hot breath of the beasts behind him, a stink of brimstone and corruption. They’re dead, dead, I saw them killed, he tried to shout, I saw their heads dipped in tar, (4) but when he opened his mouth only a moan emerged, and then something touched him and he whirled, shouting...”

1. Even the forest has turned against him
2. Clearly those are the heads of the miller’s boys that he ordered to be killed, something he feels guilty over and simultaneously he’s scared for the retribution he might receive for it. However, they are also wolves, which are the Stark sigil. Theon’s subconscious is mixing up the truth with his own lies (did he kill the miller’s boys or the Stark children?) The blood is not actually blood, it is tar, that’s why it’s pitch black.
3. Theon’s fear of being laughed at is cleverly worked into the dream as well. The trees could very well be a metaphor for all the people around him who he thinks would laugh at him if they knew his secret.
4. He is perfectly aware in his dream that he had responsibility for the death of those boys. And he knows he had their heads dipped in tar, yet he still thought the tar was blood.

“Last night he had dreamed himself back in the mill again, on his knees dressing the dead. (1) Their limbs were already stiffening, so they seemed to resist sullenly as he fumbled at them with half-frozen fingers, tugging up breeches and knotting laces, yanking fur-trimmed boots over hard unbending feet, buckling a studded leather belt around a waist no bigger than the span of his hands. “This was never what I wanted,” he told them as he worked. “They gave me no choice.” (2) The corpses made no answer, but only grew colder and heavier.”

1. The fact that he’s dressing them could be a metaphor for Theon staging the miller’s boys as Bran and Rickon.
2. Even in his dream he feels so guilty that he has to try and justify himself; He puts the blame on Bran and Rickon, just like he did with Benfred Tallheart in Theon III, he is trying to eliminate his guilt by trying to convince himself It wasn’t his fault.

“The night before, it had been the miller’s wife. Theon had forgotten her name, but he remembered her body, soft pillowy breasts and stretch marks on her belly, the way she clawed his back when he fucked her. Last night in his dream he had been in bed with her once again, but this time she had teeth above and below, and she tore out his throat even as she was gnawing off his manhood. (1) It was madness. He’d seen her die too. Gelmarr had cut her down with one blow of his axe as she cried to Theon for mercy. Leave me, woman. It was him who killed you, not me. (2) And he’s dead as well. At least Gelmarr did not haunt Theon’s sleep. (3)”

1. This is some clear foreshadowing for what Ramsay will do to Theon.
2. Clearly Theon is unsettled by what he did to this woman; then again who wouldn’t be? She begged him for her life, and he ordered her death. Theon can’t deal with it, so he needs to put the blame on someone else, like he always does when he feels guilty. Clearly it doesn’t stop the dreams, though.
3. Theon doesn’t have nightmares about Gelmarr; this can be attributed mostly to him not being present at his death, as he simply ordered Reek to do it, so it’s less disturbing than when it happens right in front of you. He also didn’t have a personal relationship with Gelmarr, while he did with the miller’s wife.

“That night he dreamed of the feast Ned Stark had thrown when King Robert came to Winterfell. The hall rang with music and laughter, though the cold winds were rising outside. At first it was all wine and roast meat, and Theon was making japes and eyeing the serving girls and having himself a fine time... until he noticed that the room was growing darker.(1) The music did not seem so jolly then; he heard discords and strange silences, and notes that hung in the air bleeding. Suddenly the wine turned bitter in his mouth, and when he looked up from his cup he saw that he was dining with the dead. King Robert sat with his guts spilling out on the table from the great gash in his belly, and Lord Eddard was headless beside him. Corpses lined the benches below, grey-brown flesh sloughing off their bones as they raised their cups to toast, worms crawling in and out of the holes that were their eyes. He knew them, every one; (2) Jory Cassel and Fat Tom, Porther and Cayn and Hullen the master of horse, and all the others who had ridden south to King’s Landing never to return.  Mikken and Chayle sat together, one dripping blood and the other water. Benfred Tallhart and his Wild Hares filled most of a table. The miller’s wife was there as well, and Farlen, even the wildling Theon had killed in the wolfswood the day he had saved Bran’s life. But there were others with faces he had never known in life, faces he had seen only in stone. The slim, sad girl who wore a crown of pale blue roses and a white gown spattered with gore could only be Lyanna. Her brother Brandon stood beside her, and their father Lord Rickard just behind. Along the walls figures half seen moved through the shadows, pale shades with long grim faces. The sight of them sent fear shivering through Theon sharp as a knife. And then the tall doors opened with a crash, and a freezing gale blew down the hall, and Robb came walking out of the night. Grey Wind stalked beside, eyes burning, and man and wolf alike bled from half a hundred savage wounds. (3)”

1. This dream could be a metaphor for Theon’s entire arc. When we first meet him he is pretty careless, all his worries are pushed to the back of his mind but they do have an effect on him, of course (because pushing things to the back of your mind doesn’t erase them.) Still, he doesn’t have to worry about no responsibilities and he uses his defense mechanisms to deal with everything. In general “he’s having himself a fine time.” But then people start dying on his watch or his account, and his life gets more complicated and suddenly he’s got a responsibility he can’t handle and before he knows it he’s stuck in a very dark place.
2. For being so young, Theon has had a lot of people around him die and it’s clearly getting to him now. However, all the deaths happened during his time in Winterfell, they’re either Starks or people connected to the Starks; not a single dead Greyjoy is present at this feast.
3. This is foreshadowing for the Red Wedding but it’s also Theon’s subconscious fear of Robb’s hatred of him after what he did, something he’s been avoiding to think about altogether. It’s also playing into his fear that Robb might die or get killed because of Theon’s betrayal of his cause, which means he’s not as okay as he thinks with his actions and deep down he knows that.

Dreams are a tool of the mind to help cope with thoughts/emotions; the subconscious processes them while sleeping, and clearly Theon has a lot of cope with. But the one thing that always seems to return in every dream is guilt over what he’s done and fear that he will have to pay the price for his actions.

 

Delusions

After all that’s happened Theon completely loses his grip on reality.

“These days, he took guards with him everywhere he went, even to the privy. Winterfell wanted him dead. The very night they had returned from Acorn Water, Gelmarr the Grim had tumbled down some steps and broken his back. The next day, Aggar turned up with his throat slit ear to ear.”

So Theon really seems to think he is in danger, while he knows perfectly well that “Reek” killed his men at his command to keep his secret safe. “The Ironborn can’t keep secrets, they had to die”

 

Theon has become so paranoid that he can’t distinguish between the truths and the lies he’s told himself anymore. He’s probably suppressing a whole lot of guilt, shoving it away by thinking everyone is out to get him. It’s simply easier for him to feel the fear and self-pity than having to deal with the guilt that comes with being responsible for all of what happened.

 

“All that remained of the wolf’s-head brooch that had once been Bran’s. He had it still.”

Theon didn’t really kill Bran, he just used that brooch to convince people the body was Bran’s, so why does it have so much emotional significance that he’s keeping it? Possibly he’s doing it as a reminder of what really happened. So he doesn’t lose his way in his own lies, which is clearly happening here.

 

Guilt

One of the reasons Theon has so many guilt-spawn nightmares is because he wasn’t properly dealing with those emotions while awake. He constantly justifies himself to try to get rid of those feelings, but of course that doesn’t work out.

 

“He could not let the killings go unpunished. Farlen was as likely a suspect as any, so Theon sat in judgment, called him guilty, and condemned him to death. Even that went sour. As he knelt to the block, the kennelmaster said, “M’lord Eddard always did his own killings.” Theon had to take the axe himself or look a weakling. His hands were sweating, so the shaft twisted in his grip as he swung and the first blow landed between Farlen’s shoulders. It took three more cuts to hack through all that bone and muscle and sever the head from the body, and afterward he was sick, remembering all the times they’d sat over a cup of mead talking of hounds and hunting. I had no choice, he wanted to scream at the corpse. […] Ned Stark had never needed more than a single blow to take a man’s head.”

 

This is one more example of Theon caring too much about what people think of him. Farlen has been sentenced to death, and Theon is no Stark, the Ironborn don’t care what Ned Stark’s rule was. He wouldn’t look like a weakling in their eyes for not following Stark traditions, if anything could make him look like a weakling it’s letting himself be influenced by something his prisoner says. But of course Theon doesn’t think of it that way, because he’s all about appearing “strong” and “ruthless” to show what he’s worth. So he performs the beheading himself and it goes completely wrong. His hands sweat and the sword lands between his shoulders because Theon is anxious and really doesn’t want to do this, but just like with the Miller’s boys he sees no other option than to sentence an innocent man to death. He even gets sick afterwards because despite what he might tell himself, he really isn’t such a hard, fearless man.

 

He compares himself to Ned Stark (because he’s been Theon’s example of a leader ever since he came to Winterfell.) and feels dissatisfied that he couldn’t even give him a “clean death.” Though it’s not surprising that it didn’t go as smoothly as Ned Stark’s executions. For one Theon didn’t have a Valyrian steel sword, and furthermore, he has an emotional connection to Farlen that Ned didn’t have to his victims (or most of them as far as we know), and Theon doesn’t possess Ned’s rational stamina. Robb Stark also needed three tries to hack Rickard Karstark’s head off, so Ned’s ability to do it at once wasn’t exactly the norm.

 

Theon’s feelings of guilt have taken a new course: he becomes increasingly more desperate and angry, at this point he wants to “scream at the corpse”; his guilt has become too much to contain with simple justifications, so much that he feels like he has to scream them out loud.

 

“How did I come to - this he remembered thinking as he stood over the fly-speckled bodies.”

This is indeed a good question Theon is asking himself here. How did he come to this? Theon doesn’t understand how he planned on being a just lord, loved and admired by everyone and this is what he ended up becoming. He considered his own plan flawless, and this is where the problem lies. Someone with experience will take into account everything that could go wrong, while Theon did the opposite and that’s how he came where he is now. Despised, feared and full of regret.

 

Theon’s prize

 “’We would do well to leave this place.’ ‘I am the Prince of Winterfell!’ Theon had shouted. ‘This is my seat, no man will drive me from it. No, nor woman either!’”

Winterfell is the symbol of Theon’s success: not only is he attached to it because of the ten years he spent there and the previously mentioned metaphorical meaning the place holds to him but right now it is also the physical proof of Theon’s abilities. He took Winterfell with less than thirty men in a rather brilliant strategic plan, “a feat to sing of.” And he needs this physical proof that he succeeded to keep reminding himself that he did, in fact, manage it, and feed his confidence. If he loses it, it’ll be like it never happened – or worse, like he tried and failed completely. And everything Theon has gained (confidence in his abilities) will be erased because it will be turned into yet another failure. And, as mentioned before, Theon thinks in black and white terms only: it’s all or nothing. He can’t think “well I did this and that and that other thing right, it was just this other thing and another, that went wrong”. No: either he did everything right or he did everything wrong. And if he did everything wrong, how will he ever gain any confidence in himself at all?

 

Asha

Asha is still standing in Theon’s all-bad spectrum, which makes him suspect all sorts of things about how she might want to hurt him, which in turn makes Theon do the opposite of everything she says, even though she’s probably genuinely concerned about him and wants to help him out. But meaning well and humiliating him don’t go together in Theon’s broken mind.

 

“He could not let Asha see him disheveled and soaked with sweat.”

Of course Theon needs to keep up appearances and give the impression that he’s got everything under control. No emotional “weakness” can be seen, especially not by Asha, even if by now he should be aware that Asha probably couldn’t care less about how disheveled he looks like.

 

“He chose a satin tunic striped black and gold and a fine leather jerkin with silver studs... and only then remembered that his wretched sister put more stock in blades than beauty. Cursing, he tore off the clothes and dressed again, in felted black wool and ringmail.”

 

Theon takes his time dressing nicely, because it is important to him, and he forgets for a moment that it is not what the Ironborn expect him to do, that it is not appreciated. So he gets angry and redresses in clothes he doesn’t like. This is a perfect metaphor for his identity crisis: he cannot be himself, he cannot be who he wants to be, and he has to pretend to be someone else, someone who subscribes to his culture’s gender norms, someone who behaves like a hypothetical Greyjoy would. Theon’s life is a constant internal struggle because he hates himself for not being able to be that person everyone accepts so easily. Just being himself is not an option in Theon’s eyes. Because the only things Theon really wants are the things others receive unconditionally (at least in his experience): love, respect and acceptance. And you cannot fight to be accepted and be yourself at the same time in a world like Westeros.

 

Theon’s thoughts about Asha’s jealousy take a new turn. At this point he’s so out of touch with reality that he believes she wants him dead “Asha. It was her doing. My own sweet sister, may the others bugger her with a sword. She wanted him dead, so she could steal his place as their father’s heir.“ Not only this is a very warped version of Asha (not that he’s had a view that is anything close to the truth at all throughout this book) but Asha has already established herself as the superior Greyjoy: she has no reason to want him dead, nor has she really shown any sign of jealousy (because she has what she wanted all along, Theon is the one who’s jealous and he’s projecting that onto her). Also, it escapes him that Asha couldn’t realistically have staged any of what happened, first and foremost the Stark children escaping. This is all a concoction from Theon’s mind, based on nothing but his own delusions. And Theon is unaware that he’s doing it at all, he even confronts Asha with her supposed jealousy as a counter reaction when she starts mocking him again:

 

“’Why, ‘tis the Prince of Winterfell.” She tossed a bone to one of the dogs sniffing about the hall. Under that hawk’s beak of a nose, her wide mouth twisted in a mocking grin. ‘Or is it Prince of Fools?’ ‘Envy ill becomes a maid.’ ‘Envy, Theon?’ ‘What else would you call it? With thirty men, I captured Winterfell in a night. You needed a thousand and a moon’s turn to take Deepwood Motte.’ ‘Well, I’m no great warrior like you, brother,’ She quaffed half a horn of ale and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘I saw the heads above your gates. Tell me true, which one gave you the fiercest fight, the cripple or the babe?’ Theon could feel the blood rushing to his face. He took no joy from those heads, no more than he had in displaying the headless bodies of the children before the castle.”

 

Theon can’t admit to himself that he made a mistake and that this is why she’s mocking him, not jealousy. He needs to keep his confidence up, and admitting mistakes is not a part of that, because as Theon has said before “only a fool humbles himself when the rest of the world is eager to do that job for him”

Asha also comes baring the news that ser Rodrik Cassel, the master-at-arms of Winterfell, is on his way with the full intention of taking the castle back, but Theon doesn’t focus on that bit of information.

 

“She knows more than I do, Theon realized. That only made him angrier. ‘The victory has given Leobald Tallhart the courage to come out from behind his walls and join Ser Rodrik.’”

 

Instead of addressing the problem at hand, Theon finds it more important to pretend like he already knew, probably as an attempt to look like they are on the same level (because he thinks that not knowing certain important information and especially her knowing about it will somehow put him down). Theon is not thinking rationally at all; he’s one emotional mess, his behavior completely irrational. All Theon cares about right now is avoiding humiliation.

 

“’Bugger Deepwood,’ he said. ‘It’s a wooden pisspot on a hill. Winterfell is the heart of the land, but how am I to hold it without a garrison?’ ’You might have thought of that before you took it. Oh, it was cleverly done, I’ll grant you. If only you’d had the good sense to raze the castle and carry the two little princelings back to Pyke as hostages, you might have won the war in a stroke.’ ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To see my prize reduced to ruins and ashes.’ ‘Your prize will be the doom of you. Krakens rise from the sea, Theon, or did you forget that during your years among the wolves?’”

 

Asha makes a very good point here: Theon should have burned Winterfell to the ground and taken the Starks, the Reeds and Freys hostage. But Theon is too emotional to even consider that she might have a point there, because all he’s thinking about is how she’s trying to put him down in any way possible. He doesn’t even contemplate that she might be trying to help him because he “knows” that she’s just jealous and wants to humiliate him and make him feel bad to make herself feel better (which is a complete and utter projection on his part because that’s what he does).

 

“Asha shook her head. ‘How could you be such a bloody fool? Children...’ ‘They defied me!’ he shouted in her face. ‘And it was blood for blood besides, two sons of Eddard Stark to pay for Rodrik and Maron.’ The words tumbled out heedlessly, but Theon knew at once that his father would approve. ‘I’ve laid my brothers’ ghosts to rest.’”

 

Twice in this quote alone Theon comes up with an excuse that makes no sense. Theon did not kill the miller’s boys because “they defied him”; the only reason he’s saying that and saying that so angrily is because he can’t stand the fact that even though he killed those boys so Asha wouldn’t find out that he lost Bran and Rickon and call him “a fool”, she’s still calling him a fool anyway. When this first excuse doesn’t work out he comes up with the revenge one, even though a few chapters earlier Theon remembered telling Patrek Mallister that he didn’t miss his brothers at all, and we know he was bullied by them. And the kids aren’t even Bran and Rickon Stark to begin with. But never the less this excuse restores his self-confidence a bit better because he “knows” his father would approve of it. “Even if his father did not appreciate the gift of Winterfell, he must approve of Theon avenging his brothers!” Of course, his father isn’t there to disprove of what Theon “knows”, so he’s completely safe “knowing” that. The fact that Theon has to convince himself that he is right about this though (he knows, he must…) shows that he’s not all that sure after all.

 

When Asha asks Theon to leave Winterfell and go with her to Deepwood Motte, he promptly refuses “’No.’ Theon adjusted his crown. ‘I took this castle and I mean to hold it.’” He doesn’t even think about it because he’d decided this earlier in the chapter already “no man will drive me from it [his seat.] No, nor woman either!” Asha is not trying to help him, obviously she’s just trying to “drive” him from his seat. Just another ploy to undermine him.

 

“Theon watched them go from atop the wall. As his sister vanished into the mists of the wolfswood he found himself wondering why he had not listened and gone with her.“ Theon didn’t realize the gravity of the situation at all while he was talking to Asha; it’s now that she’s actually going that it draws on him. He was too focused on not doing what Asha suggested because the way he saw it, she was out to hurt him regardless, to even think about what was really happening. It’s only now that she’s leaving that it draws on him.

 

Reek

Ramsay knows exactly what to say and when to say it to get Theon to do what he wants. “Reek” has become Theon’s “trusted” servant now that he killed the miller’s boys for him, flayed off their skin and dipped their heads in tar. Afterwards he even killed all the witnesses: the only people who know the true identities of the bodies are now Reek, Theon’s mute squire Wex and Theon himself. “It made him uneasy to see the man walking around breathing, with what he knew. I should have had him killed after he did the others, he reflected, but the notion made him nervous. Unlikely as it seemed, Reek could read and write, and he was possessed of enough base cunning to have hidden an account of what they’d done.”

 

When Theon’s at his most vulnerable, having lost all hope, Reek comes up with a solution and even though Theon doesn’t trust him, he once again feels like he has no other choice but to take it as a last resort. Ramsay knows exactly how he can manipulate Theon to do his bidding.

 

 “’Well, might be I could help you,’ said Reek. ‘Give me a horse and bag o’ coin, and I could find you some good fellows.’ Theon narrowed his eyes. ‘How many?’ ‘A hundred, might be. Two hundred. Maybe more.’ He smiled, his pale eyes glinting. ‘I was born up north here. I know many a man, and many a man knows Reek.’ Two hundred men were not an army, but you didn’t need thousands to hold a castle as strong as Winterfell. So long as they could learn which end of a spear did the killing, they might make all the difference. ‘Do as you say and you’ll not find me ungrateful. You can name your own reward.’ ’Well, m’lord, I haven’t had no woman since I was with Lord Ramsay,’ Reek said. ‘I’ve had my eye on that Palla, and I hear she’s already been had, so...’ He had gone too far with Reek to turn back now. ‘Two hundred men and she’s yours. But a man less and you can go back to fucking pigs.’”

 

He makes it sound as if he just thought of this, as if it wasn’t his plan all along to wait until Theon was down to his last hope and then come to him with this suggestion. And Theon falls for it because now that he’s not being emotional over Asha humiliating him anymore, he’s emotional over what the future holds. He does seem bothered by Ramsay suggesting Palla as his reward though, but justifies himself again by telling himself he doesn’t really have a choice.

 

“Reek was gone before the sun went down, carrying a bag of Stark silver and the last of Theon’s hopes. Like as not, I’ll never see the wretch again, he thought bitterly, but even so the chance had to be taken.”

 

 

Theon doesn’t even trust him, and yet he still does his bidding. And this is not the first time he’s doubted Reek, he’s never trusted him deep down, and yet he keeps listening to him because Ramsay knows exactly which buttons to push, he knows what to say and when to say it because he has figured out how Theon’s mind works and he knows that right now he will do anything to hold Winterfell, and the only thing that can help him is having enough men.

 

A stranger in Winterfell

After all that’s happened Theon finally realizes that he doesn’t belong in Winterfell either; he wanted it to be “his place” so bad but it simply can’t be.

“Ned Stark’s tree, he thought, and Stark’s wood, Stark’s castle, Stark’s sword, Stark’s gods. This is their place, not mine. I am a Greyjoy of Pyke, born to paint a kraken on my shield and sail the great salt sea. I should have gone with Asha.”

 

Theon felt like a stranger in Pyke, but now he feels like a stranger in Winterfell as well. Because in the end he is both and neither: he’s too much of a Stark to be a Greyjoy and too much of a Greyjoy to be a Stark. The realization of this is too painful though, because Theon so desperately wants to belong. When he was a hostage of the Starks and felt the distrust of the Northmen he comforted himself with his romanticized ideas of the time in the future when he would go back home. When that happens and those ideas are shattered he goes back to take Winterfell to make it his home. When that doesn’t work out either he thinks again about how this is not his place and that he’s a Greyjoy. He needs to believe at all times that he does have a place where he belongs.

 

It is true that he should have gone with Asha, and in truth it might have been possible for him to win back his father’s respect, but it would have taken, time and ironically Theon’s desperation in gaining this respect is what destroyed his chances at it. Theon has too many confidence issues (that don’t allow him patience), too many identity issues (that don’t allow him to bring out the real person he is) and he thinks in absolutes (that doesn’t allow him to accept that one failure is not the end).

 

Working out some frustrations

 “He sent for Kyra, kicked shut the door, climbed on top of her, and fucked the wench with a fury he’d never known was in him. By the time he finished, she was sobbing, her neck and breasts covered with bruises and bite marks. Theon shoved her from the bed and threw her a blanket. ‘Get out.’ Yet even then, he could not sleep.”

Theon feels completely helpless at this point, everything seems to be out of his control: the nightmares, the guilt, and now there’s an army heading his way and he can’t defend himself. He probably feels like everything and everyone has turned against him and he can’t stop them. So he tries to regain control in the most horrible of ways. The more frustrated Theon becomes, the nastier his behavior.

 

Stark traditions

“Only Maester Luwin had the stomach to come near. Stone-faced, the small grey man had begged leave to sew the boys’ heads back onto their shoulders, so they might be laid in the crypts below with the other Stark dead. ‘No,’ Theon had told him. ‘Not the crypts.’ ‘But why, my lord? Surely they cannot harm you now. It is where they belong. All the bones of the Starks-‘ ‘I said no.’”

 

Theon could let Maester Luwin put the bodies in the crypt, they served their purpose at this point and it would show some good will on his part. But he doesn’t, he promptly refuses because he knows the bodies aren’t Bran and Rickon’s. He puts a lot of value on the culture of the Starks and doesn’t want to soil the crypts by putting the wrong bodies in Bran and Rickon’s graves, the thought clearly aggravates him. The Stark culture has emotional value to Theon. Whereas he only agreed to a few Ironbon customs (the drowning of the priest in Winterfell) to appease his men and there’s certain things (like the rape of prisoners) that he even stops altogether.

 

Conclusion

This is pretty much Theon’s breaking point: he’s in a state of complete turmoil. His paranoia consumes him, his all-bad idea of Asha prevent him from even considering her suggestions, and instead he projects his own feelings of envy onto her. Ramsay gladly makes use of Theon’s state of vulnerability and it works like a charm. Eventually Theon realizes that he doesn’t belong in Winterfell either, no matter how much he wants to, but he can’t really belong in Pyke anyway because he clearly is stuck with some very Stark-like ideas and customs that are so seared into his subconscious that he doesn’t even notice that they are there in the first place. Theon is both Greyjoy and Stark but in the end he’s not good enough for either.