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The Map Guy

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy - A Quentyn Tarantino Theory

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Warning: This post contains links to content with strong language and graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
When GRRM gives you lemons, silly people make complicated Lemongate theories.
Let us take it easy for a bit.

Lemongate: The lemon tree and the red door in Dany's past were never in Braavos because lemon trees do not grow in Braavos! This mean Dany was raised in Dorne! This could be SIGNIFICANT! This could means R+L=D!!!!
Seriously, who are these crazy people that think they can redefine the traditional R+L=J theory that stood strong for decades?? Geezz

Anti-Lemongate: The lemon tree and red door were in Braavos. The Sealord of Braavos had private gardens or courts that can take care of one single lemon tree. This lemon tree is just a childhood memory and has NO SIGNIFICANT meaning in the future.

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: The easiest SIGNIFICANT explanation for Dany's lemon tree (a middle-ground for both Lemongate and anti-Lemongate) is that it was brought over by Oberyn Martell as a gift to Viserys and Daenerys when he signed the marriage pact with Ser Willem Darry, in Braavos. Darry, Viserys and Dany were suppose to see this lemon tree everyday in the courtyard as a reminder that they still have allies in Westeros. But Dany was too young to understand, and Viserys would have prematurely sailed to Sunspear if he found out. This childhood heirloom of Daenerys becomes a long lost secret.

Dany will eventually spear-head her Westerosi invasion at Sunspear, through the welcoming doors of Dorne and Doran Martell. When Dany and Doran finally meet, Doran would reminisce about Oberyn's mission in Braavos and the lemon tree he brought over. This is where Dany realizes Doran is not lying about the original marriage pact. This lemon tree from her childhood is something only she would know, and it proves Dorne were Targaryen loyalists from the beginning.

While Doran kind of forgot to tell Quentyn about Oberyn's lemon tree ... Dany certainly haven't forgotten about hers. This could of changed Quentyn's fate in Meereen. This sound so familiar ... sounds like something from a TV show or a movie ... I think it was a Quentin Tarantino movie.

The Forgetting and Forgotten Lemon - Pulp Fiction 1994
In this Tarantino's movie, the character Butch (played by Bruce Willis) just back-stabbed his crime-boss' plan of a rigged boxing match. His betrayal has worked perfectly and he was about to skip town with the money he won from re-rigging the boxing match ... until his girlfriend (nicknamed Lemon Pie) kind of forgot the pack up his golden watch, a childhood heirloom of his. Because she kind of forgot, Bruce Willis' escape plan changes drastically as he attempts to retrieve the watch back from his apartment. And because of sheer luck, all Hell breaks loose ... simply for the watch.


Butch kills Vincent Vega, a POV character in the movie (played by John Travolta), with Vincent's own gun. He was a clumsy hitman that was stupid enough to leave his gun in Butch's kitchen while he went to use the toilet.

Quentyn Martell was stupid enough to try to steal a dragon and he got himself killed. Vincent's and Quentyn's own plans BACKFIRED :rofl: on them, resulting in their deaths. Hell, both of them kind of look alike too:

Anyways, the point is that a small small small innocent childhood heirloom was simply forgotten, resulting in a drastic change of a plan. If Lemon Pie didn't forget Butch's watch ... Vincent Vega would still be alive, a random lady would not be shot for being a good samaritan, the crime-boss would not have been anal raped, a pawn-shop keeper would not be killed by his own samurai sword, Zed's not dead baby! and Butch would live a life running away from the crime-boss he betrayed.

Perhaps if Doran told Quentyn about the Oberyn's lemon tree and not hide it in his ass, Dany wouldn't have questioned the authenticity of the marriage pact. If Quentyn mentions "Lemon Tree" nonchalantly to Daenerys, her little heart would skip a beat like it did when she heard Willem Darry's name ... perhaps changing the story line completely. Who knows ... its up for debate.

Well Quentyn's dead, and Dany's destined to meet Doran. I wonder how that conversation would go:

Doran: Queen Daenerys, welcome to Dorne! We have been waiting for the Targaryen restoration for many years now.
Dany: Many years? You have been loyal for that long? How do I know that is true?
Doran: My brother Oberyn signed a marriage pact between our families many years ago in Braavos, with Ser Willem Darry.
Dany: Oh yes, Quentyn mentioned the marriage pact, but it could still be fake.
Doran: It is real, Oberyn even brought a Dornish lemon tree as a gift to show your family that we were still loyalists.
Dany: Sheeeeettttt Dornishman, that is all you had to say! Oh my sweet lemon tree ... you are not lying. No one could have known about that lemon tree. I believe you now.
Doran: Thank you my Queen. Speaking of Quentyn, where is he?
Dany: I am quite mad at him. He died stealing my dragons. Perhaps if you told him about the lemon tree earlier, I would have offered him a dragon to ride later as a gift for Dorne's loyalty.
Doran: Oh no! My son, dead? ... did you bring back his body?
Dany: When I pulled up my ships to spear-head my invasion of Westeros at Sunspear, did you notice any of my ships carrying a banner that said "dead Dornishman storage"?
Doran: No...
Dany: You know why it isn't there? Because storing dead Dornishmen ain't none of my business! That's why!

Okay ... that is it ... that is all what Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy is.


Now for the Bonus Tarantino Theories ...

The Deadly Sand Snakes Assassination Squad - Kill Bill Vol 1. 2003 & Vol. 2 2004


Elle Driver, California Mountain Snake = Tyene Sand



Poisoners ... seriously George, just give Tyene an eye patch already.


O-Ren Ishii, Cottonmouth = O-bara Sand



Even though they do not look alike, they have the same personality. Both are known warriors and are unafraid of an open public war. The other ladies do things behind the scene.

Also Mercy = O-Ren Ishii's background story


Sofie Fatale = Nymeria Sand



She doesn't use weapons or fight in Kill Bill. And GRRM does say this about Nymeria: Nymeria was least dangerous when nearly naked. Elsewise she was sure to have a dozen blades concealed about her person {The Watcher ADWD}


Vernita Green, Copperhead = Sarella Sand



Vernita, an ex-assassin, has adopted the civilian life ... while the other ladies are still playing their dangerous games. Sarella is not playing Obara, Tyene and Nymeria's game of thrones .... or at least not that we know of.

Also the Summer Islands skin. I haven't seen Jackie Brown by Quentin Tarantino yet, perhaps I am missing some stuff for Sarella/Alleras. Let me know in the comments!


Gogo Yubari = Dorea Sand



Little girls, balls & chains. Dorea bashing at bloody oranges. Gogo trying bash at a lemon-colored-suit-wearing Uma Thurman!


Bill, Snake Charmer = Doran Martell



I don't need to explain this one about these leaders/master-planners.


Bud, Sidewinder = Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper of Dorne



This one is just for fun since they are younger brothers to Bill and Doran. They are two awesome characters anyways.

I love Quentin Tarantino soundtracks.
I can see Quentyn, our frog prince, dancing with dragons to this song:

Silly ribbit, Trix are for ...

Arianne's Snitch and the Bloody Oranges - Reservoir Dogs 1992


The moon had crowned the Moonmaid as they set out from the dust-dry ruins of Shandystone, striking south and west. Arianne and Ser Arys took the lead, with Myrcella on a frisky mare between them. Garin followed close behind with Spotted Sylva, whilst her two Dornish knights took the rear. We are seven, Arianne realized as they rode. She had not thought of that before, but it seemed a good omen for their cause. Seven riders on their way to glory. One day the singers will make all of us immortal.
{The Queenmaker AFFC}

Wow look at them and their cool slow-motion group walk. So confident about their plan ... only to later fall apart, thanks to a snitch within the group.

Anyways I cheated. I'll admit it. I used Reservoir Dogs to solve Arianne's snitch and worked backwards on the evidence.

The girl was plainly growing tired, so Arianne called a halt. They watered the horses once again, rested for a bit, and had some cheese and fruit. Myrcella split an orange with Spotted Sylva, whilst Garin ate olives and spit the stones at Drey.

I won't spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it, but it was the bloody oranges that gave it away.

Now the book clues:

Ripped oranges can be found in the Water Gardens where Areo Hotah and Doran Martell were earlier in AFFC. Who happened to have some oranges in Arianne's Queenmaking plan? Spotted Sylva
This suggests that Sylva was in the Water Gardens with Doran and Areo.

Sylva doesn't want Arianne's plan to succeed.

As Ser Arys helped her from the saddle, Drey went to one knee before her. "Your Grace."
"My lady liege." Spotted Sylva knelt beside him.
"My queen, I am your man." Garin dropped to both knees.
"And the riders," Spotted Sylva said. "Come, Your Grace, warm yourself. I should be honored if you'd let me serve you."

Sylva doesn't address Myrcella as a queen initially, until later when she corrects herself.

Why would Sylva be a snitch? Well she is a Santagar.
Do we know any other Santagars?
Aron Santagar, died in the King's Landing riots after Myrcella Baratheon was shipped to Dorne.

Even the Santagar sigil has a leopard holding an axe.
leopard ~ cheetah = "cheater"
axe = Areo's axe

What is the relationship between Aron and Syvla? We don't know ... but would it be enough to conspire against Myrcella?
For this theory, lets assume yes.

Sylva disapproves of Arianne's plan and informs Doran Martell. Doran lets it play out ... and it's for an awesome reason ... the real Dornish Master Plan.

 Prince Doran took a jagged breath. "Dorne still has friends at court. Friends who tell us things we were not meant to know.
{The Watcher ADWD}

After Sylva snitched, what was her 'punishment'? She is betrothed to Lord Eldon of Estermont.
Are the Estermonts one of Doran's friends at court? Do they hate the Lannisters too? Well Lord Eldon is Stannis' uncle or great uncle. But I guess we'll have to wait and see if they play a role or not.

 "Eldon Estermont has taken a wife fifty years his junior," [Cersei] said to Qyburn. "Why should that concern me?"  

He shrugged. "I do not say it should . . . but Daemon Sand and this Santagar girl were both close to Prince Doran's own daughter, Arianne, or so the Dornishmen would have us believe. Perhaps it means little or less, but I thought Your Grace should know." (Are you trying to tell us something George? Is this foreshadowing?)  

"Now I do." She was losing patience. "Do you have more [other news]?"

{Cersei V AFFC}

Besides, Lord Eldon is old and has established heirs. After he dies, Sylva is free to re-marry while she is still young. Sylva is not really punished that badly.

Anyways Andrey Dalt and Garin the Orphan are not the snitches. They were sent to Essos as punishment for executing Arianne's plan.
But was it really a punishment?

The Martinesque Story ... no not George but Scorsese ... and no not really Scorsese either:
After Arianne's failed queenmaking plan:

  • Arys Oakheart is dead trying to play hero, not get imprisoned for his Kingsguard oath-breaking, or trying to impress Arianne ... blah blah blah ... who knows why he charged at Areo.
  • Darkstar disappears after slicing Myrcella's face and ear
  • Arianne, Doran's own daughter, is gently punished
  • Sylva stays in Westeros
  • Andrey is sent to Essos
  • Garin is sent to Essos

According to Doran, Sylva has proven herself to be a rat. She may be his rat, but in a way he cannot fully trust her.
Doran uses Sylva in AFFC and will use her again in the future TWOW/ADOS schemes ... if she is needed.
But he will keep Sylva in the dark about plans she doesn't need to know about.
The goal of letting Arianne's plan play out is to filter out true Dornish loyalists ... Darkstar bails out, Arys is dead, Sylva snitched ... BUT Andrey and Garin followed through.
Andrey and Garin have proven themselves to be trustworthy in executing plans on behalf of Dorne's interest.
Doran sends them to Essos as Dornish spies to help facilitate Daenerys' invasion of Westeroes when the time comes.


This kind of sounds like the plot of Martin Scorsese's The Departed 2006.
Wait a minute, AFFC was in 2005, The Departed was 2006. It doesn't make sense!
Well The Departed was based on the Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs 2002.
The characters played by actors Andy Lau and Gordon Lam are Triad gang-members, sent to infiltrate the Hong Kong police force as official full-time police officers.
They may be behind the names Andrey and Garin the Orphan, our future Dornish secret agents in Essos.

Doran, what a joker ... letting Arianne execute her plan for days, even after Sylva ratted them out.


Stuck in the middle is Darkstar - Reservoir Dogs 1992

What can I say? The most dangerous man in Dorne, stuck in middle of the two:

  • Arianne Martell and the Queenmakers
  • Areo Hotah and Doran Martell's men

Gerold Dayne ... what were you thinking? And why did you slice Myrcella's face and ear off?
Perhaps Mr. Blonde can explain:

And what happened Myrcella's ear afterwards? Was it thrown away? Did they keep it? Did anyone hear anything? Did you hear anything Myrcella?

Anyways, that is one catchy song at the 3:01 mark isn't it?
The song is called Stuck In the Middle With You by Stealer Wheels.
The vocals you are hearing is sang by Gerald "Gerry" Rafferty ... what a perfect anthem for Gerold "Darkstar" Dayne's situation!


Gerald Darkstar singing:


 Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my mare,
And I'm wondering how I'll get away from here,
Arianne's clowns to the left of me,
Doran's jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with Myrcella

 Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile on my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

 Well I started out with nothing,
And I'm proud that I'm a self made Dayne,
And your friends, they all come laughing,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please .... Gerold, you are NOT Arthur! ... please! 

"My House goes back ten thousand years, unto the dawn of days," [Darkstar] complained"Why is it that my cousin [Arthur] is the only Dayne that anyone remembers?" {The Queenmaker AFFC}


Also don't worry about the police officer in that torture scene, that is not actual gasoline that Mr. Blonde is pouring on the cop. It is only a movie! Its probably just drinking water.


The Interchangeable Basterds - Inglourious Basterds 2009
Ser Archibald Yronwood is British Intelligence Secret Agent Lt. Archibald "Archie" Hicox, but his physical description is a bald version of the Basterd's Bear Jew.


"Archibald" is a funny one GRRM created: an big bald American Jew mixed with a German-speaking Brit.

So what else did GRRM mix up?
Ser William WELLs is Cpl. WilhELm Wicki, but the freckles and crooked teeth are probably British General Ed Fenech's, played by actor Mike Myers (Austin Powers!).
Ser cLETUS Yronwood sounds like Sgt. Hugo StigLITZ, but Cletus has Wilhelm Wicki's lazy eye, played by actor Gedeon Burkhard.

Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki ... Lt. Archibald Hicox ... Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz ... hiding their identities, pretending to be German soldiers.
William ... Archibald ... Cletus ... hiding their Dornish identities in Essos, even hiding it to their deaths.

You guys had enough of Tarantino for one read? Eh, I'll throw in one more for fun.


Undesirable Aliases - Reservoir Dogs 1992

In Dorne Quentyn Martell had been a prince, in Volantis a merchant's man, but on the shores of Slaver's Bay he was only Frog, squire to the big bald Dornish knight the sellswords called Greenguts. The men of the Windblown used what names they would, and changed them at a whim. They'd fastened Frog on him because he hopped so fast when the big man shouted a command.

Even the commander of the Windblown kept his true name to himself. Some free companies had been born during the century of blood and chaos that had followed the Doom of Valyria. Others had been formed yesterday and would be gone upon the morrow. The Windblown went back thirty years, and had known but one commander, the soft-spoken, sad-eyed Pentoshi nobleman called the Tattered Prince. His hair and mail were silver-grey, but his ragged cloak was made of twists of cloth of many colors, blue and grey and purple, red and gold and green, magenta and vermilion and cerulean, all faded by the sun. {The Windblown ADWD}

One of my favorite screens in the movie. Why am I Mr. Pink?


I hope you guys enjoyed my post!

So which lemon tree theory will you choose now?
We have 
Lemongate Extremists: Dany was raised in Dorne ...... Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: Braavosi Lemon Tree was a gift from Dorne ...... or Lemon Tree Conservatives: Braavosi Lemon Tree has no futuristic value and we insult Lemongaters all day!

Well I got clowns to the left of me, jokers to right ... but here I am with this middle ground theory for you!

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Oops sorry.
With all the talks of the lemon tree, I kind of forgot about the red door. Don't worry I certainly haven't forgotten about that!

Oberyn Martell brought over the lemon tree to Braavos.
Oberyn Nymeros Martell is called the RED Viper of DORne
Red Door = Red ... Dor...
For you book-only readers, according to GRRM ... 'dor' = door
Trust me on this one, I have insider information

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