Spockydog

I have no idea, lol. Seriously, I've been on a Mugabe-Media-Lockdown for nearly two months. So busy with work.

Well, you know that moment in Episode 1 of Silicon Valley where Richard does a complete pivot with Pied Piper? Well, after a completely serendipitous and lifechanging realization, we have suddenly become the Pied Piper of Deep Agritech. This was about two months ago. And I just turned down £50m to sell my company. That's fifty-million-British-pounds. Why the hell did I do that? Well, according to a VC who is currently wooing me, we are poised to become the "Intel Inside" of Agri-Robotics & AI Automation and she wants in. Due to the unique nature of our technology - primarily the Lazyscrog-enabled grid-by-grid nature of our proprietary plant training processes (locked in by the quality of our £25k, HGF-prepared patents - best money we ever spent), and the overhead t-slot extrusion of the Lazyframe's gantry providing the holy grail of the God's Eye View for Agricultural Robotics - we only went and tamed the Agri-Robotics problem of the Unstructured Environment. The robotics people amongst you will know what this means. The implications for this are enormous, not just for Agri-Robotics & AI Automation, but for me and my family. So, for the past four - five weeks, I have been working almost every waking hour, completely redefining my business. I am exhausted, but exhilarated. Please note that I am telling you this not to brag, but I know that some of you here will be genuinely pleased for me, and I really wanted to share this exciting and amazing news.

Hello everyone! It's been a while, and I have missed you all. Ran has very kindly let me come back. I promise to be nice.

Water companies pay £2.5bn in dividends in two years as debt climbs by £8.2bn This is from the FT. I think it's clear we're dealing with a bunch of greedy fucking bandits.

AFAIK, dividends come from profit. If you're not profitable, dividends are illegal. So for me, borrowing £57bn while paying £79bn in dividends just doesn't pass the smell test. And never will.

You clearly believe there is nothing wrong with charging people huge amounts of money for safe, clean drinking water. I think the point is that this type of cover up wouldn't be necessary, and countless people wouldn't have died from drinking sulphuric acid out of their taps, in order to protect any profits. All for the sake of the bottom line. Just for lolz, I am currently compiling a dossier of incidents where privatized water companies have been caught lying to MPs, Ofwat, and/or all their customers. You'd better get some sleep, Dave. Put your debunking goggles on charge, because some of this shit is WILD.

Yeah, I'll fucking bet he did.

Also, how about the simple fact that water should not be sold for profit. Certainly not in a fucking monopoly.

They're all wrong. All the journalists are wrong as well. All of 'em. And the MPs on the various select committees. And your own eyes. Don't forget those.

So, just to be clear, you're saying that the culture that allowed this scandal to be covered up so as not to spook investors doesn't exist any more in Private Water, and that, since privatisation, there have been zero cases of Private Water covering their shit up to protect their profits?

That is truly appalling. I wonder why I've never heard of it.

I am certainly high, but not on my own supply. Not grown any since your mates nicked my grow tent.

PFFT. LORDS SCHMORDS. WTF DO THEY KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING ?

*leaked* Thames Water Internal Memo Attn: Dave Summ From: Frank, the Fattiest of Cats Re: NFU Fear Mongering Hey, Dave. Not sure if you saw, but the head of the NFU recently told the press that the UK doesn't have enough reservoirs to secure the country's food supply. Be a good chap and pop on down there to tell them how wrong they are and how stupid it is to think that having more reservoirs might lead to more available water, at a time when it's really needed. Also, we're getting it in the neck from the government and media over our plans to start price gouging our monopoly (lol) customers in order to cover the enormous cost of our reckless borrowing. Honestly, why can't these plebs just get over it? Why can't they understand that we simply had to borrow £56bn so we could pay out dividends of £72bn. These people are so stupid. Set them straight. Anyway, thanks in advance Dave. We can always depend on you, keep up the good work. See you at the Christmas Trough?

Oh, what happened? Earlier, you had such certainty. P. S. I'm a fifty-five-year old former surfer. I know what shit in the water smells like.

Water firms in drought-hit UK flogged 35 reservoirs in five years Water companies in drought-hit Britain have flogged 35 reservoirs in five years – and built just TWO. Amid hosepipe bans and coastal sewage dumping they have made at least £26million from the sales. Old reservoirs have been converted for uses such as fishing and housing – and some are a haven for BMX fans. A union which uncovered the deals said: “The water industry is not fit for purpose.”

Well, that wasn't hard, was it?

You really want me to crawl up the colon of Thames Water?

I was responding to what I felt was patronising and dismissive behaviour from Dave. He's not here in Norfolk. He can't smell the shit on the beach. And i'm not having anyone patronise me like that. I swear, this reminds me of a documentary I watched about fracking contamination of the domestic US water supply. Gasland. You'd have water company executives walking into people's homes and refusing to drink the brown sludge or flaming methane water coming out of the taps, while insisting it was perfectly good to drink. Some people think we've got zips up the back of our heads.

Since privatisation, the water companies have built the grand total of one reservoir between them. I wonder how many were shut down.

Remind me, how much profits have these companies made? How much in shareholder dividends have they paid that could have been reinvested into the crumbling Victorian infrastructure, maybe build a fucking reservoir or two, eh? How much debt have they taken on, purely for the purpose paying dividends to fat cats? Honestly, what a load of corporate bollocks.

I mean, literally all we've heard from you on this topic is that the water companies are almost perfect, none one of the pollution is real, and that we should "get over it." So yeah, next time someone posts about seeing sewage in the water, try not to jump in arse first, denying people's lived experience, as well as the hundreds and hundreds of news reports as well as the physical evidence of corporate malpractice that is there for everyone to see. Makes you look like a shill. P.s. As for the personal criticism, if you can't take it dont fucking dish it out.

Thank you. Because this entire exchange came about because of your arrogance when you basically insisted there couldn't possibly be shit here.

Ha ha. You're so funny. What about the BBC? The Guardian? Byline Times and The Mirror. And every other news outlet reporting on the dire fucking state of Britain's waterways. Care to dismiss them with such peurile flippancy? Or just admit that you're all fucking shit at your job.

We are two miles down the coast from this literal shit show. Is it really your position, having probably never set foot in Hunstanton, that there is absolutely no chance of contamination on what is the next beach up the coast from Heacham? From THIS fucking beach? Is that what you're saying? Top of the plops’: Heacham Beach reputation sinks to new low with ‘Brown Flag Award’