Adapting ASOIAF For the Screen...

[Zulofritter]

A few chapters have been moved around substantially, and one chapter (Tyrion XV) is moved to ASoS... there was no reason to see Tyrion begin his recovery after the battle... I think it's better to have his survival in doubt at the end of Season 2... his full recovery will begin in Season 3.

Again, great work Maester! I thought the same thing about the last Tyrion scene, but I don't know if Season 3 is going to have room.

Changing the subject slightly, it may be to early to chart out S4, or even S3. Storm of Swords is so big that it seems logical to move some of the action to S4. It's tough though, as so much happens towards the end. Maybe end it with Arya and Tyrion's last chapters, then move some Samwell, Jon, the last Sansa chapter, and the Epilogue to the start of S4. (Which means with Jon's election and the Moon Door, that first episode is gonna be a barn burner!)

[HellaGood]

Master Y, good job. Just a few thoughts...

I know there's real trouble spreading Dany out across the season, but after ending S1 with her and the dragons I feel like she needs to come into S2 somewhere earlier than episode 4. It just seems like at the end of S1 she had really been established as a force in her own right. She'd become exciting and she'd closed the season; this was the scene that people were going to be left with in ther minds. So to then forget about her for the first 3/4 weeks of the next season is a little underwhelming and odd.

Also, I know it's difficult to work the episodes and make it fit, but I'd like to have the Catelyn/Jaime dungeon scene right in there at the end of the series. That was a real big cliffhanger at the end of the book. Had she killed him? Had she sent him free? What would be the consequences? I think there will be a similar reaction on screen, so if it happens 2 episodes from the end of the season the audience might be expecting some sort of resolution before the season finishes.

Overall though, it's an awesome breakdown and I appreciate it's really not an easy task.

[Maester Yobjascz]

Thanks all...

Responses:

- Yeah, I might toy around a bit with ASoS, just to get a sense of the chapters and the lengths, but I agree that boundaries between the books might get a bit fuzzy as things progress.

- The reason that I pushed Dany back is, well, because it's one of the few ways to do it. I understand the idea that Dany's finale in Season 1 is big and triumphant, but remember, she's got dragons, and that's it. Her first scene is her ragged band of the old and weak plodding through a desert. So, a bit of a delay works, I think.

- The Catelyn/Jamie scene in the dungeon is kinda neat, but it's an early cliffhanger... It's no later in the books than it is in my layout.

[Zulofritter]

I'm putting this up just to have something to compare Maester's Season 1 with. This is much more conservative, basically the chapters as they appear in the book divided into 12. The first page of the chapter (in my book) is on the right, and the number in-between represents the page at the midway point.

1. Prologue 1

2. Bran I 13

3. Catelyn I 22

4. Daenerys I 28

5. Eddard I 39

6. Jon I 49

7. Catelyn II 58

67.25

8. Arya I 68

9. Bran II 76

10. Tyrion I 86

11. Jon II 93

12. Daenerys II 99

13. Eddard II 109

14. Tyrion II 118

15. Catelyn III 128

134.5

16. Sansa I 139

17. Eddard III 153

18. Bran III 160

19. Catelyn IV 165

20. Jon III 176

21. Eddard IV 190

201.75

22. Tyrion III 203

23. Arya II 215

24. Daenerys III 226

25. Bran IV 237

26. Eddard V 250

27. Jon IV 259

269

28. Eddard VI 272

29. Catelyn V 283

30. Sansa II 293

31. Eddard VII 305

32. Tyrion IV 324

336.25

33. Arya III 338

34. Eddard VIII 351

35. Catelyn VI 359

36. Eddard IX 378

37. Daenerys IV 385

38. Bran V 396

403.50

39. Tyrion V 410

40. Eddard X 424

41. Catelyn VII 431

42. Jon V 444

43. Tyrion VI 452

44. Eddard XI 462

470.25

45. Sansa III 472

46. Eddard XII 480

47. Daenerys V 489

48. Eddard XIII 501

49. Jon VI 515

50. Eddard XIV 523

51. Arya IV 530

538

52. Sansa IV 542

53. Jon VII 552

54. Bran VI 568

55. Daenerys VI 583

56. Catelyn VIII 595

605.25

57. Tyrion VII 607

58. Sansa V 618

59. Eddard XV 628

60. Catelyn IX 638

61. Jon VIII 652

62. Daenerys VII 665

672.50

63. Tyrion VIII 675

64. Catelyn X 694

65. Daenerys VIII 702

66. Arya V 716

67. Bran VII 729

739.75

68. Sansa VI 741

69. Daenerys IX 751

70. Tyrion IX 762

71. Jon IX 772

72. Catelyn XI 785

73. Daenerys X 798

Last page is 807, before the appendix.

[Zulofritter]

Here, we open with the threat of Stannis (and winter) looming over everything like the comet above. Then we've got Robb dictating peace terms to Cleos, and we see the first signs of fracture with the Karstarks. Sansa watches Joffrey's tourney, saves Dontos, and sees Tyrion arrive. Tyrion banters with Petyr, argues with Cersei, sleeps with Shae, and claims that he will do justice.

I've only read Clash of Kings once, so I'm still hesitant to say much about the layout of the second season. However, the 20 minute prologue with unfamiliar characters sounds crazy! It's the old saw about readers having more patience; the viewers wait months to see how their favorite characters are doing, and we stall for 20 minutes. It might be possible to shorten this sequence (I seem to remember a lot of descriptions), but maybe this chapter should be split up.

Once I'm done with my reread of GoT I'll put up another episode layout, not so dry as my last post , but still probably more conservative then Maester's version. (No slight intended Maester, your work has been top notch! )

[Tysha]

- The reason that I pushed Dany back is, well, because it's one of the few ways to do it. I understand the idea that Dany's finale in Season 1 is big and triumphant, but remember, she's got dragons, and that's it. Her first scene is her ragged band of the old and weak plodding through a desert. So, a bit of a delay works, I think.

I wonder if Dany's early chapters could be chopped up a little bit more? For example, the first episode could show Dany trudging through the desert and the horses dying and everything getting really awful for her, and then at the end they come across the city. So it ends with a bit of a cliffhanger and a bit of hope. Then the rest of that chapter, where they actually go into the city, can be left for episode two. I think that with all the focus on the comet and all the other characters wondering what it means, it would be a bit of a cheat not to show the audience what's going on with the character who they know to be the reason the comet is up there.

I've only read Clash of Kings once, so I'm still hesitant to say much about the layout of the second season. However, the 20 minute prologue with unfamiliar characters sounds crazy! It's the old saw about readers having more patience; the viewers wait months to see how their favorite characters are doing, and we stall for 20 minutes. It might be possible to shorten this sequence (I seem to remember a lot of descriptions), but maybe this chapter should be split up.

I can't remember exactly what happens in those early chapters but would it be possible to put the prologue at the end of the episode instead of starting with it? It all ties in to the comet and the prophecy and the growing use of magic in the series and I think it would be a fantastically creepy, ominous way to end it.

[Maester Yobjascz]

Hmmm... I like the idea of ending S2E1 (Season 2, Episode 1) with the Prologue... there's definitely some merit there. I"ll have to think about that a bit.

As for chopping up Dany's first chapter a bit, that could work. I didn't do that initially because I was wary of having an episode where Dany is given such a short little scene. However, I suppose that if that sequence is expanded a bit, it could work nicely... Once again, I'll give that some more thought.

Zulo, I'll take a look at your breakdown over lunch... good effort!

[Zulofritter]

Zulo, I'll take a look at your breakdown over lunch... good effort!

Aw, don't trouble yourself. The preceding list is just a straight transfer of chapters to episodes, and I wouldn't expect the series to end up that way.

[Antacid]

This thread is stagnating slightly (perhaps because I've had to learn some manners), so in the midst of all these chapter outlines I'm going to throw something in that hasn't been discussed much yet(?) It' a contraversial topic, so I'll be especially interested to hear opinions.

CUTTING MAJOR SCENES

It seems to me that there are a handful of AGOT chapters that could be cut without damaging the story, either because they convey little essential information, because they have no consequences on the story as a whole, or because removing them actually strengthens another scene. I'm deliberately not going into all the details, so ppl have something to think about - but please believe that I've carefully considered these. In rough order from least -> most contraversial.

CATELYN IV

Catelyn arrives in KL and meets LF. We find out a certain amount of information via narrative about LF and her old relationship, which could easily be moved somewhere else. And if this is cut, Catelyn's presence in the brothel is almost as much of a surprise to us as it is to Eddard.

BRAN V

The wildling ambush and Osha. I’d make this Bran’s first scene in ACOK – the book where Osha’s presence actually becomes relevant, and start Bran’s plot off with a bang.

BRAN VI

The only plot event that happens here is: Robb calls his levies and departs from WF for Moat Cailin. Otherwise it’s a lot of backstory and character development for Roose, Greatjon, and Robb - the essentials of which I’d move to Catelyn VIII. I’d get the important information across by having a short scene where Catelyn get a raven in the Eyrie, prompting her to leave there and ride to Cailin with the BF.

There’s one more chapter in AGOT I think could be removed completely by making a few alterations to something that happens in ACOK, and one major sequence (most of a chapter) I think could be removed. The former is a Dany chapter, the latter a Jon sequence. A flagon of ale to the first who can guess which bits they are, and why I think cutting them would not only not hurt but improve the series!

[Michael Jon Snow]

Antacid. The only three reasons I can think of to cut a scene is to save time, to save $$$ or to improve the story telling. Since George does such a good job at the latter, I am not sure how many instances we are going to have at that.

Cat IV - I am with you on cutting the Cat IV chapter and moving all of the important stuff to the Ned Chapter when he arrives. This gives a great opportunity to end an episode with Ned arriving at the Brothel and seeing Cat and BAM Tune-in-next-time.

All of the important stuff from Cat IV can be done from Ned’s POV. Cat can tell him what happened, and then we know what Ned knows. This will also have the added affect of making Ned more central, so his death is more dramatic.

Bran V I have a bit of an issue with because by the beginning of the second season Robb and Theon have already gone south. I think that scene might get shortened, but not eliminated or moved back.

Heck, if you are willing to move it back and take Robb & Theon out, you might as well make Osha’s introduction much simpler. One of Ned’s banner men could bring her when Robb calls his banners. She was part of a group. The men fought to the death rather than be captured, but the woman surrendered. Rob can say that Ned always said that wildlings captured south of the wall are sent back if they have committed no crimes and orders her held for the next black brother that comes by.

The whole scene could be shot on set instead of the woods, making it cheaper.

Bran VI

My only concern with moving this is losing some Bran Chr development. I agree that all the essential stuff can be moved to The Cat VIII Chapter. Heck, Robb could have sent word to assemble there and not at Winterfell, so the entire scene can play out there as easily as Winterfell.

My guesses for your other two scenes:

Jon's desertion could all be done without him actually leaving Castle Black.

Dany VI could be eliminated and either done in season 2 (Where we are short of Dany scenes) or left out altogether. Since this is one of the things that Mormont has done to demonstrate his loyalty, he would be missing that element and would look more like a traitor. I would move this back to season 2.

[Maester Yobjascz]

There's not much that I can add to what MJS has already said... I generally agree with him that, unless it adds to the flow of the episodes, there isn't much of a reason to cut scenes. Tinker with, move around, expand, merge, yes... cut out, not really.

A few specific comments:

Cat IV, I think, is best done *after* Ned finds Cat at the brothel, as has been pointed out (and used in my layout). I like having the audience suffer through the trip south with Ned and the girls, only to have him tormented by the small council and even further by Petyr. Just when it looks like Petyr is at his absolute worst, Rodrik Cassel appears and all is well. *Then* we can have Cat come out and tell her story. The story remains, the timing is better, and there's no downside that I'm aware of.

Bran VI - the Osha scene should probably stay, I think. Partly because it helps explain who Osha is and where she comes from... but that's not really why that chapter is there. If introducing Osha was the goal, it could easily have been done in ACoK, where she's more important. Also, remember her conversation with the other wildlings... we get a clue of why they fled south... they mention Mance and the white walkers.

But Bran VI has other uses: developing Theon and Bran. Theon's act of killing Stiv with an arrow is pretty important to understanding his character later. He goes and saves Bran, but gets chastised by Robb for what could have happened. This bothered Theon quite a bit, and we hear about it later in the Theon chapters. Not a necessary scene, but it does flesh things out a bit more. Meanwhile, it really does go to show how helpless Bran is. He is Bran the Broken, unable to fight or even run away.

As for Bran VI, it's true that much of the development could be done elsewhere... but I don't see Robb confiding his fears to his mother quite so readily. However, it's quite easy to have Robb come to Bran and confide in him about how afraid he was of the Greatjon, and how Roose Bolton makes him nervous. Moreover, you're forgetting the bit with Osha... 'he's marching the wrong way'... this line is too important to be cut. And if Osha's not there (because her intro has been cut or moved), then it doesn't work.

[Zulofritter]

I'd hate to lose any of these scenes. I'd rather shorten if time is a problem, or move the setting if money is the problem. I assume that we're going to be cutting most of the internal dialogues, and cutting some conversations that are too far from the main plot.

As I stated in another thread, Jon riding away from Castle Black to certain doom is one of the best scenes in the series. Cut this and I'll die and my ghost will haunt ya!

I also don't understand why Catelyn in the brothel is such a great suprise. Maybe I read a different book, but the brothel scene is so great because it's from Littlefinger's POV, not Neds. We know where Catelyn is, we know LF is helping and mocking Ned, and this all makes Ned's near murder of Littlefinger hilarious. I also don't like keeping Catelyn distant; her story is one of the most compelling this early in the game.

[Maester Yobjascz]

Zulo -

I guess it's the proximity to Eddard's trip south that does it. It's full of anxiety, stress, and tension. All the problems with Arya and Joffrey, Lady's execution, Robert's failures and Cersei's crud all pile up on Eddard. To mix that with hilarity as Eddard threatens Littlefinger just doesn't sit well. Instead, you add insult to injury, as Baelish takes Eddard out of the castle through secret passageways. Who knows where Ned is being led, or what game Baelish is playing? Then to a brothel, where Littlefinger claims Catelyn is, and you believe Eddard when he threatens to kill Baelish. He's tired, tense, and upset, and here's this jerk telling him that his wife is here in a whorehouse. And then there's Catelyn.

It's not the surprise that makes it work... it's the trip south.

As far as keeping Catelyn distant... I don't think that's what's happening. Her story is told, but told to Eddard. The audience will still feel for her and what she's been through. I'm not suggesting that she quickly tell Ned a summary of what's happened... I think we cut back at that point and tell her story from her PoV, fading into her PoV as her explanation to Ned fades into the background.... and then fades back in as she concludes with her arrival in King's Landing. Her meeting with Petyr is done, not as a flashback, but is summarized by Catelyn to Ned after the story of the assassination attempt is 're-lived'.

[Zulofritter]

I guess it's the proximity to Eddard's trip south that does it. It's full of anxiety, stress, and tension. All the problems with Arya and Joffrey, Lady's execution, Robert's failures and Cersei's crud all pile up on Eddard. To mix that with hilarity as Eddard threatens Littlefinger just doesn't sit well.

Hey, I thought it was funny.

As far as keeping Catelyn distant... I don't think that's what's happening.

We might not convince each other here, and that's alright. But to see Cat make the jump from crazy grieving mother to the brothel lets you know that her story turns out okay, and burns off the suspense. I want to see the agony of Cat at Bran's bedside, with no end in sight. I think that will mean more to a general audience than Ned's worries.

[Antacid]

A pair of for MJS.

JON

There are a couple of problems with the whole idea of Jon's desertion, which don't matter in the novel but would on screen. First, it's a long, slow-paced scene that comes right after the biggest dramatic high point of his storyline (the Wight attack). Second, and most importantly, it just isn't that tense. The idea that Jon's character, after getting a whole bunch of development, saving the Lord Commander's life, and facing the Big Supernatural Threat of the series, is going to get executed as a deserter... it's not a credible direction for the story to take. And there's little use in him escaping either - he's one guy riding to help a guy with a whole army, leaving a massive loose end behind in the form of the Others. So, surprise surprise, Sam finds him just in time.

I understand that it's a good scene and shows the NW is his family now - but it doesn't go anywhere. I'd have Jon only hear about Eddard's arrest and death after he's recovered from the Wight attack; then Mormont can make all the same arguments for Jon not riding south in the scene where he gives Jon Longclaw. The last Jon scene in the AGOT series can be the huge party of Rangers riding through one of the gates in the Wall on the way north.

DANY

Drogo dies before he can invade Westeros, so other than as retroactive evidence of Jorah's change in allegiance, it also just doesn't lead to anything. Dany loses the army anyway, so it doesn't matter if he was offended by the attempt on his queens/son's lives.

The other reason to cut it is because I think you could write a new scene for Dany filling us in on how she's been doing in the days and weeks after leaving Vaes Dothrak, before the raid on the Lazhareen that fucks everything up. This scene would imply that with Viserys dead, Dany is actually starting to forget her brother's dreams of avenging himself on Westeros and taking his crown back. She's pregnant, she's married, she's Drogo's queen, she's getting reasonably good at ignoring Drogo's barbaric excesses, she never knew her mother or father and never lived in mainland Westeros - so why should she care? She's happy.

What this would do is make Drogo's death and the birth of the dragons even more dramatic, because the sequence of events both destroys the basis of Dany's happiness and restores the threat to Westeros, at one stroke. In the book, it merely changes what the threat to Westeros is - Dany with dragons vs. Drogo with 40,000 screamers. I think it'd also make her even more sympathetic than she already is, by dramatising that in even halfway-decent circumstances Dany is a lover, not a fighter - someone who wouldn't even want to fight a war if she could avoid it.

Then in ACOK, instead of having the Sorrowful men try to kill Dany, you can have someone else give her that manticore - Barry and Belwas save her and kill the assassin, but find a medieval flyer offering a lordship for her head on the assassin's body. And boom, off Dany goes to get her slave army and to attack Westeros in retaliation.

Heck, if you are willing to move it back and take Robb & Theon out, you might as well make Osha’s introduction much simpler.

The basic scene with Osha is fine IMHO - and it's important show that the wildlings are crossing the Wall and trying to escape from the North to avoid the Others. But Robb and Theon don't need to be there - their roles could just as easily be filled by secondary characters. The character development of Theon from that scene is pretty negligible - and he gets more than enough attention in ACOK to make us sick of him.

[Michael Jon Snow]

Antacid

If it were up to me, I would shorten Jon’s scene and have Sam confront him on the way to the stable. All of the meaningful dialogue can be had there while Jon is saddling his horse. He mounts up and turns to ride out of the stable to find all of his friends blocking the door. Unwilling to ride them down, he realizes that his family is here and not with Robb.

I would keep it because of the possible parallels to Aemons 3 temptations. If this is one temptation that Jon faces, and he is only able to stay with the help of his friends, it establishes that he still has some growing to do.

But I agree, as it is written it breaks up the tempo and is much to long. We can get all of Jon’s angst in a much shorter scene if he never makes it out of the stable.

As for the Dany chapter, I like your suggested changes because I agree that it would change the dramatic element. She has accepted her new life and is happy. To then have that destroyed is tragic. She is then looking for a new life. I agree that the threat to her life is what points her back to Westeros. I would keep the poison wine and still have Jorah save her life from the wine merchant. This is the one thing that we “see†to indicate Jorah’s loyalty. Other than that he is just a sponge who is looking to capitalize on either her demise or her victory. It would also weaken the love interest thing going on between Dany & Jorah, as it is often the focus of Dany’s angst re: Jorah. “He saved my life, how can I not have feelings for him, but I do and they are so wrong….†I would just move this scene to after Dany gets to Qarth. Two assassination attempts in short order would really give her a reason to hate the Lannisters.

Actually, what was the reason for the assassination attempt in Qarth? Robert has long been dead. Did Cersei maintain the offer of a lordship for her death or did that end at Robert’s death? Wasn’t that assassination attempt a retaliation for the house of the undying. Hmmm maybe this doesn’t work.

The other thing that I worry about with messing with the Dany scenes to much is similar to the point you raised about Jon. Why do we hear about the exile princess, if she is not going to come back to Westeros? Can we really believe that she has accepted her live with Drogo and will live happily ever after? No. We know that something will have to get her back to Westeros. We know something is going to happen, just like we knew Sam was going to bring Jon back.

[Antacid]

If it were up to me, I would shorten Jon’s scene and have Sam confront him on the way to the stable. He mounts up and turns to ride out of the stable to find all of his friends blocking the door.

That would work at least as well, and would be a more complete way of showing the dilemma. I'd be happy to see that.

This is the one thing that we “see†to indicate Jorah’s loyalty. Other than that he is just a sponge who is looking to capitalize on either her demise or her victory. It would also weaken the love interest thing going on between Dany & Jorah, as it is often the focus of Dany’s angst re: Jorah. “He saved my life, how can I not have feelings for him, but I do and they are so wrong….â€

Good point. The effect of Jorah saving her life on their relationship hadn't occured to me. It takes out the complexity - but it also makes Dany's rejection of him seem more reasonable, so might it not actually help by making Dany seem less of a bitch for shooting him down?

Re. Jorah being a sponge - although we find out he's a spy quite early on in AGOT, we don't have to in the series. Varys can be mysterious about where his information is coming from, or he could be referred to in general terms as "my informant", allowing the audience to wonder exactly who it is. Then long before it could prejudice us against Jorah, we've found out that Varys is actually on Dany's side, and that should limit the damage.

Actually, what was the reason for the assassination attempt in Qarth? Robert has long been dead. Did Cersei maintain the offer of a lordship for her death or did that end at Robert’s death? Wasn’t that assassination attempt a retaliation for the house of the undying. Hmmm maybe this doesn’t work.

Yeah, the lack of clarity about who was actually hired the SM is another part of my problem with the assassination attempt in Quarth as it stands. Another one is that counting the Tears of Lys in AGOT by ASOS, there have been three attempts on Dany's life - her surviving them all the time is one of the things people cite when illustrating her Mary Sueness. The Sorrowful Men are a bit too much like the Faceless Men as well.... The only reason to keep the manticore as the murder weapon is that it's much cooler, and allows Barristan to retain his introduction as Arstan.

The other thing that I worry about with messing with the Dany scenes to much is similar to the point you raised about Jon. Why do we hear about the exile princess, if she is not going to come back to Westeros? We know something is going to happen, just like we knew Sam was going to bring Jon back.

It's not unpredictable what's going to happen, but how it's going to happen. IMHO Sam bringing Jon back is much easier to see coming, and is a single plot reversal, whereas the last four Dany chapters (which I'd do all in one episode) have three.

I was thinking purely in terms of a dialogue scene between Jorah and Dany riding along, with Dany changing the subject a lot when Jorah (who wants to end his exile) tries to bring up how soon she's going to get Drogo's thoughts set on crossing the ocean. Dany finally admits that she hasn't even been thinking about it recently, and Jorah attempts to hide his displeasure. Then they see a column of smoke up ahead that is coming from the Lazhareen village. So it's clear foreshadowing of of the outcome of the episode, without the actual events being predictable.

[Zulofritter]

I don't care for these changes at all! :sick:

But I agree, as it is written it breaks up the tempo and is much to long. We can get all of Jon’s angst in a much shorter scene if he never makes it out of the stable.

Scene 1 - Sam tries to stop Jon, then jumps out of the way of the horse. Quick image of Jon riding into the night, and another image of Longclaw left on the bed. (less than a minute)

(Other scenes in the episode.)

Scene 2 - Jon hides from the riders, but Ghost gives him away. His black brothers surround him, there's some dialogue, and they force him to ride back. (could be less than two minutes, depending on how long Jon hides)

This doesn't look long to me at all. Regarding the suspense, the first time I read it I thought Jon had seen what he needed to see at the Wall, and that he would be hunted as a deserter for the rest of the series. The threat is that he loses his future, not that he is killed.

Actually, what was the reason for the assassination attempt in Qarth? Robert has long been dead. Did Cersei maintain the offer of a lordship for her death or did that end at Robert’s death? Wasn’t that assassination attempt a retaliation for the house of the undying. Hmmm maybe this doesn’t work.

This assassination also gives Dany's story a much needed link to the main story in Westeros, and it is also the culmination of what Ned and Robert spend a long time butting heads over. If we don't see an assassination, the audience is going to feel like Ned resigned for a trivial reason.

I am so not used to being the most conservative voice.

[Zulofritter]

Alright, this is my new outline for the first 4 episodes. Organizing by chapter was getting too complicated, so I had to go by scene. Keep in mind that for the moment I'm ignoring all flashbacks and dream sequences. Also, while Tower of the Hand is awesome, I'm sure that I've forgotten some scenes, so let me know.

Episode 1 - Wolves

1. Gared, Waymar and Will debate whether to check a camp full of dead wildlings, then ride to the site.

2. Will climbs a tree, and the Others attack Waymar. Will plans to leave, and a rezzed Waymar chokes him.

3. Gared is executed.

4. The wolf pups are found.

5. Catelyn talks to Eddard about Jon Arryn's death, and Robert's arrival.

6. Viserys prepares to present Daenerys to Khal Drogo. [D1 is split into three scenes.]

7. The king arrives.

8. Robert and Ned talk in the crypts.

9. Viserys complains about Robert. [This scene is cobbled together from Danerys's thoughts in D1, and thematically links to and contrasts with the previous scene.]

10. Jon Snow asks to join the Night Watch, then he runs away crying.

11. Outside the feast, Tyrion advises Jon to man up.

12. Catelyn & Ned get the note from Lysa. They agree to split the kids into the various plotlines.

13. Dany and Viserys enter Drogo's manse.

14. After sewing, Arya runs away crying.

15. Quick scene where Arya pets Nymeria.

16. Arya watches the boys sparring.

17. Arya returns to her room and gets punished. [i'm listing these scenes seperately because of the location changes, through we follow Arya through all of them.]

18. Bran looks around for Jon.

19. Bran climbs the walls, and overhears Jamie & Cersei. Jamie pushes him out the window.

Episode 2 - Beneath the Sky

1. Tyrion finishes reading and wakes Septon Chayle.

2. Tyrion slaps Joffrey, which I could watch all day.

3. Tyrion has breakfast with the family.

4. Jon says goodbye to Bran, and Catelyn brings the party down.

5. Everyone in the yard says their goodbyes.

6. Dany's wedding begins. [D2 split in two scenes.]

7. Ned and Robert talk on horseback for as long as the audience can stand it.

8. Tyrion and Jon travel to the wall.

9. An assassin starts a fire and tries to kill Bran, and is killed by wolf.

10. Catelyn holds a council.

11. Dany's wedding ends.

Episode 3 - Rhaegar's Rubies

1. Sansa has breakfast in the inn.

2. Sansa find Arya outside.

3. Sansa meets Cersei's escorts.

4. Sansa and Joffrey go riding, and they come across Arya and Mycah. They fight, and Arya throws Lion's Tooth in the water.

5. Jon trains with the other recruits. [J3 split into 3 scenes. Two in this episode, and the last moved to the next episode for continuity (the letter of Bran's waking).]

6. Eddard meets everyone in the audience chamber of Ser Raymun Darry's castle. The kids give their versions of events, and Cersei asks for a wolf pelt. [There's a nice scene where Eddard has to pace himself to get to the chamber, but this should probably be cut for time and clarity.]

7. Eddard kills Lady.

8. Eddard runs into the Hound, who is carrying Mycah's body.

9. Catelyn and Ser Rodrik approach King's Landing on Storm Dancer. [C4 split into 2 scenes.]

10. Cat and Rodrik find an inn.

11. After a fight with the other boys, Donal Noye gives Jon a good talking to. He then talks with Tyrion. [The scene where Jon spreads gravel on the top of the wall cut for time and budget.]

12. Cat is taken from the inn by the City Watch.

13. Cat meets Littlefinger.

14. Eddard leaves instructions with Vayon.

15. Eddard discusses the tourney in the small council.

16. Littlefinger takes Ned to Cat.

17. Ned and Cat meet in the brothel.

18. Bran wakes up.

Episode 4 - Needlework

1. Jon is summoned to Commander Mormont, and learns that Bran is awake.

2. Arya has dinner with Ned and Sansa. Arya runs away crying. Jon Snow sues for copyright purposes. [A3 split in 2.]

3. Ned goes to see Arya in her room.

4. Tyrion has dinner with the officers of the Night Watch.

5. Tyrion goes up on the Wall, and says bye to Jon.

6. Dany smacks Viserys around, and he becomes the Cart King. [D3 split in 2]

7. Arya meets her instructor.

8. Nan tells Bran a scary story.

9. Tyrion comes back to Winterfell, and Robb threatens him.

10. Ned asks Pycelle about Jon Arynn's death.

11. Ned sees Arya hop around on one foot; loses all hope.

12. Littlefinger points out the spies that are watching Ned.

13. Jon meets Samwell in the practice yard.

14. Jon and Sam talk at dinner.

15. Jon gets all the boys at dinner (except Rast) to leave Sam alone.

16. Rast is frightened by Ghost into complicity.

17. Dany tells Drogo that she is pregnant.

[Maester Yobjascz]

Zulo-

I like that you've broken it down by scenes... makes it a bit clearer as to the content... however, without page numbers, it's hard to get a sense of length... My comments are below:

Ep.1

- I can tell that you really want Dany to be introduced in the first episode. Personally, I don't think it's necessary, but to each his own. In the first episode, the crypt scene is the best lead-in, and you've used that...

My only comment is that the bulk of Dany's prep in that first sequence, at least in the novels, is about her youth, and her wanting to be a child, and her memories of the house with the red door. Those are *really* important to understanding Dany... and I would like to see a sequence where we watch her grow up, from her arrival, to Darry's death, to them being forced out, to being beggars, to their arrival at Illyrio's. So much of Dany's character is shaped by that intro... In the way you've broken it out, the focus is less on that than her relationship with Viserys.

- The only other problem I see is length... not a major one here, but one to be aware of. Going by page lengths (which is the most accurate measure we seem to have), then your Ep.1 clocks in at 62 minutes... it could probably be scrunched down to fit in the hour, I have no doubt. *However*, given the overall page length, the average page/episode should be around 50 minutes. Then the material in each episode would be stretched to hit an hour. By going 12 minutes over, your other episodes will have to be consistently shorter, and will likewise need more stretching to hit the hour mark. Just something to be aware of.

Ep.2

- The length... where Ep.1 was a bit too long, Ep.2 is way too short. By page count, I come up with a 39 minute episode...

Ep.3

- It seems a bit scattered, in that we're bouncing around a lot, and not keeping with any one storyline. Sansa I, alone, has three different scenes and locations... so to go from that to the Wall, back to the Trident, then to introduce King's Landing for the very first time with Catelyn's rushed arrival, back to the Wall, then to Eddard's arrival to King's Landing, then to the Small Council, then to the brothel... I'm worried that it's too much.

As Antacid has pointed out, transitions are easier where there's some continuity... like continuity of character. By staying with Sansa throughout her three scenes, it's easier to follow. We know where we are, because we watch her go from A to B to C. In my breakdown, I keep us with Sansa, and then follow Eddard all the way to King's Landing... Let his entrance introduce the city. Then follow him, unbroken, to the Small Council, and then to the brothel. We see Catelyn, and then follow her from Winterfell, through the assassination, to the boat, to the brothel. All the while, they're talking about Bran. So at the end, we return to Winterfell to Bran. The continuity of characters makes the scene changes easier to follow.

- Finally, I noticed that you split Jon's change of heart scene from the rest of Jon III... and I understand that you did this for continuity (it happens *after* Bran wakes up). But I'd leave it in... and just cut the letter telling Jon about Bran. Consider this: Jon is being an angry bully. Donal Noye gives him a stern lecture, and Jon is ashamed. But it's not until he gets a letter about Bran that he gets happy and friendly, and offers to teach Grenn. This puts the cause of Jon's change on the letter, instead of the lecture.

I'm not sure I like that as much... I think it'd be a better sign of Jon's growing maturity if he was reasoned into being good by Noye... rather than a fluke bit of good news. The latter leaves him as emotionally immature as before, a tantrum eased by distraction. Whereas the former suggests that Jon is mature enough to realize he was wrong when shown the evidence. I think that fits his character development a bit better.

Ep.4

- Generally looks good.

Overall, good show. I'd be curious to hear why you made the decisions as you did. My comments suggest a few areas to tweak, but once again, good effort.