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Things We Would Never Say to Our Elders But That They Need to Hear:


Jace, Extat
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"Finish fucking one woman before you spawn successors, old man!"

"How many minions does it take to work a fucking typewriter?" 

"A sentence a day keeps the grim reaper at bay." 

"What. The. Fuck?" 

"What have we done to anger you, oh lore lord? Your children are but wretches! Have you no mercy?" 

"The nurse says you're in great health. And your diet is working great? That's great. Really great, now, have you ever heard of crystal meth?"

"We can get you bitches. We can get you hoes. We can even get you bitches who hoe around. Or is the lord's taste more... particular?" 

"Bruh, you know Father Frank got to six books right? Waddaya some kind of loser?" 

"Turtles are the meekest of God's creatures. Try lions." 

"The show and the books are different things." 

"Fire exists to spread." 

""I think J.R.R. Tolkien's biggest mistake was bringing back Gandalf.""

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