Guest Other-in-Law Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Cold cuisine puts to shame the mere nacho:take one black brother who's machoafter he's killedhis blood must be chilled*after which it tastes much like gazpacho!*As always, presentation is everything. For best results serve in a vessel fashioned from the livestock's own skull, and garnish with a strand of ligament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PodrickPayne Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Saw this thread before I went to work, and was thinking up Limericks in my spare time. (my work consists mainly of spare time, so I have dozens. Here is but a few) They're a bit choppy, feel free to make fun of me. lol. Does Jaime love Cersei for wits? Or is it her looks that puts him in fits? When she comes a calling. His breeches start falling. I think he just loves her big....."eyes". Winterfell heirs there were five. But how many are still alive? Most think them all dead. But only one lost his head. The others do thier best to survive. Mance had the largest host. But that was no reason to boast. Sure they outnumber. But thier war turned to blunder. When Stannis atacked from the coast. Giantsbane has a large cock. Only half its original stock. Bitten off by a bear. He didnt even care. Cause its still as long as a dock. This last one may not rhyme to some, depending on how you pronounce the kingslayer's name. The Lannister twins look the same. Is that one Cersei or Jaime? Her looks are spectacular. He's got a witty vernacular. But Incest was thier claim to fame.Just thought I'd have some fun. I really liked the others I saw posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PodrickPayne Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 There once was a bastard named SnowWho went for a swim with his 'hoShe was shocked and appalledThat his spear was so smallBut come on, it was twenty below!Great one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrish swan Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Saw this thread before I went to work, and was thinking up Limericks in my spare time. (my work consists mainly of spare time, so I have dozens. Here is but a few) They're a bit choppy, feel free to make fun of me. lol. Does Jaime love Cersei for wits? Or is it her looks that puts him in fits? When she comes a calling. His breeches start falling. I think he just loves her big....."eyes".It is known: three out of four men claimCersei's "pair" 'tis her true claim to fameBut whether by thisThey mean balls, eyes, or titsWe'll never know... oh for shame!Note: When asked about the queen’s best quality in a recent survey, three out of four men* agree: Cersei has the greatest “pair” in the land.As to whether they mean her eyes, breasts, or some sort of metaphorical testicals, we do not care to speculate.*Men in survey include Lancel, Osney Kettleback, and Moonboy. A fourth participant who refused to be named claimed that he would rather handle a bunch of scorpions than a naked Cersei. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PodrickPayne Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Tee-hee.awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildling Girl Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Great one.Thanks PodrickPayne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrish swan Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Telling about Jeyne, Rob put forth brave frontQuoth He: "Mother, I give up this marriage hunt!"And with that Cat did sighAnd looked him in the eye"Good son," quoth she, "you did it for the cu…. connection"Ned and Cat many readers do perplex,Namely, do these two ever think of sex?Till in one scene they did join(And she spoke of aching loins.)And then the reader only feared what might come nextWhen good Stannis saw his bride he nearly weptWith hesitation he did trudge into the SeptQuothe King Robert,” Bro, don’t be pettish”You might just form a mustache fetish!”And then poor stan broke down and wept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Clearly, this thread works best when we have a theme. We already did “Free Cities Week” and “Martin’s Euphemisms for Phalli”, so I suggestThings That Take a Long TimeLike the Long Night, or the Westerosi Seasons, or travelling from the Wall to Braavos, or waiting for the last verse of the Bear and the Maiden Fair, or … well, whatever you can think of.To think that there is an endeavourthat drags on so it seems that it neverwill come to an end.Oh, were it but penned!(I refer to Duke Nukem Forever.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHackeySackOfIceAndFire Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Doran, in bed, was the worst,Elia could quench quite a thirst,But Oberyn was better,They could never tell whetherThe Long Night or He would come first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrish swan Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Doran, in bed, was the worst,Elia could quench quite a thirst,But Oberyn was better,They could never tell whetherThe Long Night or He would come first.Oh, this is so wrong! Ha ha ha, I love it!Okay, so in the tradition of "things that take too long"Tyrion sets readers hearts thumpingThey say: "That dwarf's really something!"Until they see nextLong scenes of dwarf sexRequest to Martin: Less Tyrion humping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Other-in-Law Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 A good host never holds up the saladwhile awaiting the end of a balladif it were a Marchersoon comes time for departureand famished guests find this is invalid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the silent speaker Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Lord Tywin was murdered while squatting;The head of Ser Gregor is rotting;His nieces don't knowWhy he's dithering so;But Doran Martell is still plotting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Greguh Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Dany said "To go west I go east...I don't know what that means, in the least.George, plan your equationTo include my invasion!I'm not even present in Feast!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 So why can't the lords of the northTake a good one night stand for it's worth?"first you wed, then you bed,"Robb was councilled by Ned"just pray it's not Brienne of Tarth" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Now, this theory may not hold waterBut, though Petyr's named Sansa his daughterand he's no ones dipshit He'll have conniption fitswhen he hears that the hound tried to sod her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HODOR! HODOR!! Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Poor Eddard Stark you lost your life,When all you tried was to avoid some strife,You thought your plan would really work,But Littlefinger proved to be a huge jerk,Who really just wanted to bang your wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrish swan Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Things That Take Too Long II. Brienne was, as a character, strongBut let's face it: her chapters were longMost readers would preferTo see her and LanisterIn scenes with oil, leather straps, and a thong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 More along the lines of things that take too long:There once was a Lord Walder FreyWhose grandkids are now going greyBut, alas, he's unkillable:So his catchphrasing syllableMeans the Twins are still haunted by "Heh". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 'Tis said of some things that they lastFar too long for the tastes of the castBut on occasion those readingAre the ones who are needingLess coverage of Samwell's pink mast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HT Reddy Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Poor Pate set his standards too high,He scrimped and he saved up to buyA girl's maidenhead,But too soon he was led,To an alley by some faceless guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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