Tormund;s Member

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

Tormund's Member will turn out to be the actual Horn Of Joramun and accidentally bring the Wall down when Tormund decides to take a piss against it.

Wasn't there already a thread postulating that Tormund was descended from Joramun, so this means that you might be onto something here?

[romantic]

Someone in another thread suggested (facetiously) that Cersei's vagina might be The Great Other because of the amount of trouble it causes. So it these 2 Great Others ever met there might be an explosion of ... others?

Edit: credit where's it due - Queen Cersei 1 suggested Cersei's vagina might be The Great Other in another thread - sorry can't remember which thread.

[Summerqueen]

When the Wall is overrun by the WW, Toramund's member will mast the escape ship from Eastwatch (sorry, Toraumnd, it's larger than any trees that grow that far north).

[DeathFromBelow]

So that's what Varys has planned after all.

[Toccs]

It is abundantly clear that Tormund's Member is the ensemble darkhorse of the series. Wait darkhorse, horse = stallion ergo Tormund is quite literally the stallion who mounts the world, during the "mounting" he repeatedly plunges his member into "nissa nissa" thus making Tormund's Member the real Lightbringer, therefore Tormund = Azor Ahai, The Prince That Was Promised and The Stallion That Mounts The World.

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

Someone in another thread suggested (facetiously) that Cersei's vagina might be The Great Other because of the amount of trouble it causes. So it these 2 Great Others ever met there might be an explosion of ... others?

Be of good cheer! The Myrish Swamp shall DEVOUR Tormund's member, even as the Fat Pink Mast spears Cersei's Cunt. We are not destroyed, if this be the case.

[Valkyrja]

I wonder if Hodor's hodor can hodor a candle to Tormund's member.

[DeathFromBelow]

Now the whole series has pretty much been boiled down to Cersei having to have sex with Tormund and seeing who can survive. Imagine the offspring.

[DeathFromBelow]

Hooooooooooooooooodor!

[998]

I wonder if Hodor's hodor can hodor a candle to Tormund's member.

Hodor, n: the prophesied reunification of Tormund's remaining member with the segment removed by the bear. Widely considered to be the event that ends all earthly suffering and pain, and brings instant orgasm to every female in Westeros.

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

Now the whole series has pretty much been boiled down to Cersei having to have sex with Tormund and seeing who can survive. Imagine the offspring.

My dragon's on Tormund. Sorry, Cersei, but Tormund does come from Beyond The Wall, and he's descended from Joramun if the forumers are to be believed.

I wonder if Hodor's hodor can hodor a candle to Tormund's member.

I'm sure Osha could tell you.

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

Hodor, n: the prophesied reunification of Tormund's remaining member with the segment removed by the bear. Widely considered to be the event that ends all earthly suffering and pain, and brings instant orgasm to every female in Westeros.

Corsets spontaneous bursting! Liquids mysteriously gushing down female thighs! Dresses tearing apart for no apparent reason! Streets ringing with female orgiastic howls!

And all the females in Westeros went up a cup size or two, mysteriously.

[DeathFromBelow]

Good thing Osha and Hodor took the Starks two different directions. The Wall might not have been enough to keep Osha from Hodor's Horn of Joramun.

[998]

Corsets spontaneous bursting! Liquids mysteriously gushing down female thighs! Dresses tearing apart for no apparent reason! Streets ringing with female orgiastic howls!

And all the females in Westeros went up a cup size or two, mysteriously.

And from that day forth, no woman would ever again know 'satisfaction' from a husband.

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

Good thing Osha and Hodor took the Starks two different directions. The Wall might not have been enough to keep Osha from Hodor's Horn of Joramun.

But then, the TV show has them all traveling together! Oh Gods! The Wall will certainly fall now once Tonks, I mean, Natalie Tena, I mean, OSHA, puts her lips to the Hodorn.

Dammit, Tonks.

[Valkyrja]

All I can say is, that Tormund's Member has become so legendary that all those stories about it had better not just be a case of 'compensating for something'. :tantrum:

[DeathFromBelow]

HAR! Well HBO is filming Game of Thrones so best be prepared for some crazy sex scenes between those two. Ummm, if Bran wargs into Hodor while, you know, Osha is Hodoring Hodor, who is the naughtier one Osha or Bran? Alright, this conversation is quite weird. A bunch of strangers discussing the largest member ever seen in the history of literature. But I still love we have a place to discuss this type of trival stuff.

[DeathFromBelow]

By the way, hilarious side note. Tormund's Member on the board has been listed as "hot" due to recent activities. Even internet forums are turned on by Tormund's member.

[Queen Cersei I]

Let us discuss one of the most highly anticipated Chekov's Guns of this series, and how, and when, it shall fire its payload.

Brothers, Sisters, how do you reckon it will play into the Song of Ice and Fire? It is frequently mentioned, like Dany's dragons. It has done great feats, like Dany's dragons. Surely it will play a role most vital to the climax of this series.

Edit: Re: Topic typos:

I may have been in my cups.

Since Tormunds member was not introduced in the first scene, it cannot be said to have to "go off" in the last. So Chekov's gun does not really apply in this scenario.

But more seriously, I think the most commonly anticipated question regarding this very special addition to the Westeros cast is, a. "When is it going to be "fully" introduced?" and b. Which lucky man, woman, or mammal will be the one meeting it?

A list of the possible candidates below:

1. Jon Snow. This is the most obvious one, and I do believe it would lead to a TV scene we'd all like very much to see!

However, it's common knowlege that one does not put two megawatt stars in the same scene. So it's unlikely that Jon S. and Tormund's Member will be sharing any scenes any day soon.

2. Val. This one is rather insipid. While we all want to see the member, does anyone really want this Wilding Lolita to be eating up scenery along with Tormunds manhood? I think not. There's the age difference, the predictability of it, and the fact that poor Val could hardly hold her own against a megawatt star like Tormund's member.

Maybe when she grows up a bit; but for now, methinks she shoudl stick to Jon "average member" snow and his more common appendages.

3. WunWun. One is a magical giant. The other is a mystical member. Could it be love, or is it merely desires of the flesh? I don't know, but I'll tell you this-- if they pair these two and do it on TV, they'd best save it for sweeps week!

4. Stannis. Yes, yes, I hear your childish objections. "Stannis? Stannis Baratheon? He's hetero, and the only one he ever shags is the beautiful Mel. But riddle me this, guys-- if Stannis really likes ladies so much, why is he constantly grinding his teeth? (A commonly known Fruedian manifestation of repressed same sex desires.) If nothing else, consider this little jewel: "When Robert had told him, Stannis had clenched Tormund's member so hard she thought it would explode"!!!! Well, okay, I actually took the liberty to exchange "jaw" with "tormund's member". But I'm sure you can see my point.

5. Selyse. Too ugly for love? Too hairy for kisses? Too uptight and wretched to take solace in a wonderous member nature provides for her. Well, just keep in mind Tormund's own words on the subject: "You make sure and tell her how freakish big my member is! I've always wanted a woman with a mustache." Clearly, Selyse needs neither love nor kisses to be "converted" from the cheesy red religion into the one true faith of Tormund's mighty member.

[Valkyrja]

Since Tormunds member was not introduced in the first scene, it cannot be said to have to "go off" in the last. So Chekov's gun does not really apply in this scenario.

But more seriously, I think the most commonly anticipated question regarding this very special addition to the Westeros cast is, a. "When is it going to be "fully" introduced?" and b. Which lucky man, woman, or mammal will be the one meeting it?

A list of the possible candidates below:

1. Jon Snow. This is the most obvious one, and I do believe it would lead to a TV scene we'd all like very much to see!

However, it's common knowlege that one does not put two megawatt stars in the same scene. So it's unlikely that Jon S. and Tormund's Member will be sharing any scenes any day soon.

2. Val. This one is rather insipid. While we all want to see the member, does anyone really want this Wilding Lolita to be eating up scenery along with Tormunds manhood? I think not. There's the age difference, the predictability of it, and the fact that poor Val could hardly hold her own against a megawatt star like Tormund's member.

Maybe when she grows up a bit; but for now, methinks she shoudl stick to Jon "average member" snow and his more common appendages.

3. WunWun. One is a magical giant. The other is a mystical member. Could it be love, or is it merely desires of the flesh? I don't know, but I'll tell you this-- if they pair these two and do it on TV, they'd best save it for sweeps week!

4. Stannis. Yes, yes, I hear your childish objections. "Stannis? Stannis Baratheon? He's hetero, and the only one he ever shags is the beautiful Mel. But riddle me this, guys-- if Stannis really likes ladies so much, why is he constantly grinding his teeth? (A commonly known Fruedian manifestation of repressed same sex desires.) If nothing else, consider this little jewel: "When Robert had told him, Stannis had clenched Tormund's member so hard she thought it would explode"!!!! Well, okay, I actually took the liberty to exchange "jaw" with "tormund's member". But I'm sure you can see my point.

5. Selyse. Too ugly for love? Too hairy for kisses? Too uptight and wretched to take solace in a wonderous member nature provides for her. Well, just keep in mind Tormund's own words on the subject: "You make sure and tell her how freakish big my member is! I've always wanted a woman with a mustache." Clearly, Selyse needs neither love nor kisses to be "converted" from the cheesy red religion into the one true faith of Tormund's mighty member.

:bowdown:

You even supported it with the text!!! :lol: