Oberyn Martell sought to change history

[Varamyr Sixskins]

Or rather, Oberyn's anguish at his sister Ellia's murder drove him to foster his daughters and to teach them to defend themselves. He did this because he wished to prevent them from ever becoming victims as his sister had been to the monster, Ser Gregor Clegane.

Even in Dorne, a land whose customs are foreign to the rest of the seven kingdoms, Oberyn is distinguished by, among other things, having acknowledged his bastard daughters.

In the beginning, perhaps Oberyn was uninterested in his daughters' welfare - or perhaps not. After slaying Edgar Yronwood, he traveled to Oldtown, where he fathered Obara, his oldest Sand Snake. Though we don't know what happened during Obara's early formative years, I think it's safe to assume that Oberyn didn't take Obara with him to the Free Cities. A wailing toddler would probably have gotten in the way of his amusements and travels, and as the least couth of the Sand Snakes, Obara shows that she likely didn't get early schooling from her father's maester, should he have had one.

However, Oberyn loved his sister, Ellia, and at some point while he was in the Free Cities word reached him of her brutal murder. One can only imagine his rage and grief. Ellia was a frail woman, so I imagine she probably wasn't tought to fight or otherwise take care of herself, having been a noblewoman all of her life. In my opinion, it was this incident that became the deciding factor for Oberyn to start fostering his daughters.

Curiously (and perhaps further strengthening this argument), it should be noted that we have never heard mention of Oberyn acknowledging any of his bastard sons. I suspect that this is simply because Oberyn believes that men should be able to figure out how to take care of themselves on their own, and so he does not bother with them (a Darwinian approach, if you will). This I think is more likely than that he is sacrificing them for sorcery or to the Old Gods, as some might have us believe.

Though indeed he had 4 daughters with Ellaria (sp?), I think this can simply be discounted as a statistical anomaly. 7 daughters, though not unheard of, seems a farther stretch of the imagination, given Oberyn's background, and what I think is an elegant explanation.

Thoughts?

[Qyreborn]

I like the darwinish-theory of yours, but didnt oberyn cared about his bastard daughters before elia was killed?

[A wilding]

Sounds right to me. Plus it seems that Oberyn settled down (more or less) with Ellaria at roughly the same time.

[TheBlackViper]

It’s an interesting thought, but there are a few timeline errors that may contradict it.

I believe Oberyn acknowledged his daughters before the Sack of KL. Obara would be about 12 at the time of the sack (she is listed as being 28 in AFFC, which takes place during year 300; the Sack was in the year 283). In the same book, Obara mentions she didn’t spend much time at the water gardens because she was the “whore’s whelp” and we know the oldest children there are about ten years old. So by the time of the sack, she would have already have been in Sunspear. It’s possible exceptions are made for extraordinary circumstances (in ADWD we learn Elia and Obella, 14 and 12 respectively, spend some time there during the imprisonment of their elder sisters), but I’ve always assumed she was sent there later than the other children (maybe around eight, nine?) but still left at the usual age. The reasons for that are pure speculation. It’s possible Oberyn didn’t learn of her existence until he came back from exile, or he knew but didn’t acknowledge her. Whatever the case, I believe she was already at Sunspear when the tragic events occurred.

Note that Obara was born before Oberyn killed wounded Lord Yronwood (nasty rumours, never confirmed :P). He would have been about 14 when she was born and the duel took place when he was 16.

I also think Oberyn’s exile ended before the war. He mentions to Tyrion that his mother talked to him about the journey to Casterly Rock on her deathbed. I think it’s safe to assume this took place in Sunspear. He could have continued his journeys though, but we have to take into account that sometime around these events he had Tyene and she was likely born in Westeros. Her name is from the Westerlands, though it is possible her mother could have been living in any Sept in the continent. It his highly unlikely she wasn’t in Westeros, though.

As for Oberyn not fathering any boys, I don’t think there’s more to it than just a weird roll of the dice. There are other examples in the books of parents with only boys/girls. Obara tells this to Prince Doran when she visits him in the Gardens:

The day my father came to claim me, my mother did not wish for me to go. ‘She is a girl,’ she said, ‘and I do not think that she is yours. I had a thousand other men.’ He tossed his spear at my feet and gave my mother the back of his hand across the face, so she began to weep. ‘Girl or boy, we fight our battles,’ he said, ‘but the gods let us choose our weapons.’

Now, this isn’t much to go on, and could be interpreted in a million different ways, but I read it has he doesn’t care if it’s a girl or a boy, he will take them all the same. So, he would acknowledge boys if he had any.

Like you, I have previously consider whether it was Elia’s fate that drove him to teach their daughters to be self-reliant. However, the way he took Obara from her mother and what he said there indicates he already had his mind set in a less conventional way of raising them.

Sounds right to me. Plus it seems that Oberyn settled down (more or less) with Ellaria at roughly the same time.

I agree with you on this. It certainly seems he, like you said, settled down somewhat. Sarella, his last daughter before Ellaria was born before the Sack and Elia, his first with Ellaria was born after. So it's very possible he met her, or at least got together with her after his sister's brutal death. She certainly helped him cope with it. There's a particular quote from ASoS that I find intriguing:

“Why should you need to go whoring?” He glanced back to where Ellaria Sand rode among the other women. “Did you tire of your paramour on the road?”
“Never. We share too much.” Prince Oberyn shrugged.

It's also interesting how Ellaria seems to share some personality traits with Elia. They are both caring and gentle women, which is a curious contrast to Oberyn's own personality. He cared a lot for Elia, he says they were inseparable as children, so it's not surprising he would find love and contentment in a woman like Ellaria.

Ah, sorry about the length of the post, I got a bit carried away there ^_^´