Jon and Ygritte in Hindsight

[Alistair's Pantaloons]

We know Jon cared very deeply for Ygritte, but do you think Jon was truly in love with the wildling girl?

No, I don't believe so. Never got that super passionate sense from Jon's chapters.

Do you think Ygritte was in love with Jon?

Yes, at least in the form of puppy love.

Do you think it was right for Jon to leave in the manner he did?

Yes. It's not like the Wildlings gave him a choice.

Should Jon have tried to save Ygritte during the battle?

No. She wouldn't have forgiven him anyway.

Do you think Ygritte was aiming to kill Jon with that arrow or had she meant to simply stop him, knowing that he'd be killed for running?

She said she'd kill him if he betrayed her and she meant it.

In hindsight, how could Jon have handled the Ygritte situation better? Or do you think he had no choices and did the best he could in a difficult situation?

He did well. Perhaps he could have done a bit better at maintaining emotional distance with her but she died anyway so it doesn't much matter.

[Le Cygne]

They did love one another but couldn't look outward in the same direction.

I think that's perfect.

[Gendels Children]

If Jon didn't actually love Ygritte then the significance of everything that followed his betrayal is lessened.

Interestingly, had Jon sided with the Wildings, and stayed with Ygritte, it's possible that he could've saved the Realm; the Wall needs to be held against the coming Others. The soldiers of Westeros were far away, and the Wildings easily have the numbers to man every castle of the Wall if they need to. Mance mentioned that it was his intention to use the Wall, not to break it. Jon could keep Ygritte and still try to salvage what is best for Westeros in the process. There's no guarantee, but he could.

He chooses duty and honour. The thought that it might be Ygritte's arrow in his leg upsets him and he seems genuinely heartbroken to cradle her dying body at Castle Black. Duty pulled him back to the Wall and he was forced to watch Ygritte die as a result. If he didn't love her, then it's just a simple logical decision to forewarn those at the Wall. But he loved her, and the impact of her death is therefore much worse because his decisions are part of the reason she died. He did have a possible future with her, he did have a chance to abandon his second-class life as a bastard and an outlaw, stuck forever to living no further from the Wall than the Gift.

It's one thing to be born Snow in a family of Starks. It's another thing to live with the freedom denied to you, to have a woman you love in your arms, to have a chance to abandon the rules that constrain you... and to turn back to a duty you feel is more important.

I think that Jon's last memory will be a sad wish to be back with Ygritte in the cave, safe from the world for those few hours, with nothing but her in his life.

:agree: with all of this, but especially the bold!