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Secretary of Eumenes

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Everything posted by Secretary of Eumenes

  1. I hope he buys so many things so many people took for granted that one day we all look around and realize no one knows from whom to collect one specific payment <in the amount of $1,378> that has to be paid to one specific creditor at one imminent hour or else the entire system shatters! And no one pays! And the economy collapses! Smiles, handjobs, and irregular pebbles become the currency of the land. Nobody knows who to blame Nobody knows who to call American society devolves! The military apparati have guns, communications, DISCIPLINE and FUEL They hole up on their bases. Air sorties by blackhawk helicopters and A-10 Warthogs keep the roads mostly clear! The power works sometimes! The Airforce keeps the nukes safe. We better prioritize the airforce! But the Navy has a lotta nukes too! They get deprioritized by agreeing to prioritization of Airforce on basis of nuclear maintenance but lock themselves into 2nd bannana status... classic powerbottom Navy technique. Try to undermine the Airforce at final tribal council. Army becomes subsidiary of Airforce. Marines is already a subsidiary of Navy. It'll be fun!
  2. How's this for a deal: Our ambassador can hand Mr. Putin (or roll it to him across that table) a bullet and he can hand over everyone we name to him Alternatively, we deliver the bullet to him at an unspecified time and place in the future and do this dance again with the next despot ??? I think my way would get way yuuger ratings, okAy?
  3. Only macro waves I need stimulate electrons in burritos
  4. I propose we take this new scientific summiting and use it to discriminate (muuuurder?) against anyone whose heartbeat does not meet an entaglement threshold with their brain! We'll come up with they 'whys' of the thing after we're done. Because the 'why' is because we can. <alternatively, if my heart-brain entaglement is below the threshold you're all monsters>
  5. Joe Biden ain't fit to wash Barack Hussein Al-Jazeera Bin Laden Obama's cumrags All due respect to PotUS, great American. His service to his country in his twilight years will be honored in the coming Waterworld
  6. Cult is such a strong word. To describe Trumpistan you need a STRonGEr word, OK? Much stronger, it's gotta be so strong. So strong, ok? People... neeD ToLookAtThisWord and know this is a strong guy. It's a strong guy, ok? You need to know it. So strong... How strong? Well he's stronger than Hill-Airy Clin-Tonne Stronger than her, ok? He picked up that old white lady, he picked her up in Ohio and Michigan and in Texas andToranntito... he picked her up in Umzakistan and TurkTaliban too, ok? Picked her up and gave her the people's justice because I, Tonald Drump, am the strongest. So strong.
  7. Unlike these childish doubters, Elon, I would like to live on MoonWorld. Every cold hearted Moontator needs a warm ________thed MoonMaid!
  8. Nothing about me is righteous. I'm just right about this. Your enemies will kill for power. Your allies can't even get a traitor's tax returns. Won't even try to get his conviction and testimony.
  9. That just means greater value from successful cooperation. Buuuunch of red states that would look mighty fine as independent allies of the Reconstituted States of America. Not gonna get that deal from the Reds playa. Just gotta hit 'fuck it' first. And that day is nearer every hour, judging from what our friends on the fascist right are up to.
  10. 2nded for Constitutional Convention! Leaving the Union should be on the table. Let the confederates talk themselves into ruin, reassimilate them state by state through economic subversion.
  11. Well Kanye isn't homeless. Anyway, I think that if homelessness offends (it does me) then one should be willing to pay to resolve the offense. So I say take all that state money Bezos has stolen back and use it to subsidize some building contractors. Cheap, affordable, housing isn't impossible. There's so much land in this country our masters stole. Steal it back And if you're so bent outta shape that the masters stole the land from natives, well, that sounds like natural allies.
  12. Nah, you motherfuckers were discussing "what needs to be done" with the urgency and tone as though he took a Mossberg into a movie theater and started shooting. Fuck your straw Jace Guy is a fucking doucheclown and a racist. HopefulYE Ye put he MonYE in trustYE accountYEs When I make fun of a crazy motherfucking sub-villain (I mean he ain't no Trump) I don't feel the need to patronize the fuck out of him and pretend I'm concerned about his mental well-being instead of imagining some just desserts for a demonstrably asinine individual. So that's the thing I hate about liberals these days, Varys. The ass faced holier than thou act that is used to veneer every other sentence you people feel compelled to write around buzzwords and compassionate sentiment completely at odds with your broader message: Make this man go away
  13. LOSERS Matt Ryan sucks. His arm suuucks. Spread his remains at Disneyland. Don't cremate him.
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