Count Balerion Posted April 10, 2018 Share Posted April 10, 2018 Jez Bell thinks the Ring of Power is a bell ringing (or possibly the telephone, and keeps ringing in order to become an Evil Overlord. Overlady? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 10, 2018 Share Posted April 10, 2018 Count Balerion lives in the "Vortex of Doom". It's actually a cardboard box with a smelly old blanket in it, but it's all about branding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 10, 2018 Author Share Posted April 10, 2018 Jez's head can increase or decrease its size at will. This is particularly useful when she wants to look scary or cute. However, once she lost control of it an walked around one day with a head the size of a grape. Made everyone queasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 10, 2018 Share Posted April 10, 2018 Bran has clearly not received the memo that clearly identifies discussions of head-size variations as insensitive and discriminatory. He has been fined 83 jelly beans and 0.06 hours thinking of bell puns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted April 11, 2018 Share Posted April 11, 2018 JB's eyes really are bigger than her arms. In fact, they envelope the Universe. Awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 11, 2018 Author Share Posted April 11, 2018 The proportions of CB's torso are nearly perfect to maximize his volume to surface area ratio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 11, 2018 Share Posted April 11, 2018 Bran believes that ginger is the root of all evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Jez Bell ghost-wrote FFC while GRRM was watching TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 19, 2018 Share Posted April 19, 2018 Count Balerion has a gooey centre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 19, 2018 Author Share Posted April 19, 2018 Jez Bell is THE alpha predator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Bran is a budgie smuggler. He dyes them and passes them off as exotic birds and sells them at a premium to unsuspecting pet owners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 23, 2018 Author Share Posted April 23, 2018 Jez is trying to muscle in on my bird business. She even hired a couple thugs to come trash my pet shop. Of course, I cannot prove anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted April 25, 2018 Share Posted April 25, 2018 RB can prove it, since he paid her to do it in the first place, in order to write it off his taxes. Not unlike the producers. I've no idea whether this worked according to plan or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 25, 2018 Share Posted April 25, 2018 None of it matters... Count Balerion ate all the budgies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 Everything matters to Jez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 RB is anti-matter. He's always going to demonstrations with a megaphone and yelling "Death to matter!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted April 29, 2018 Share Posted April 29, 2018 CB spends all his time at Disneyland on the Matterhorn. He likes the yodeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted April 30, 2018 Author Share Posted April 30, 2018 Jez auditioned for the part of "Had Matter" in a play called "Against the Looking Glass". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 Raisin Bran stole Tweedledum's nice new rattle, and framed Tweedledee because Tweedledee refused to read ASOIAF, claiming it was "dirty". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted May 4, 2018 Share Posted May 4, 2018 Count Balerion has banned all looking glasses from his lands. The Count could not see his own reflection and kept trying to walk through the glass. It was just embarrassing after a while. Pity though, they really do make every room look bigger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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