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Count Balerion

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About Count Balerion

  • Rank
    Landed Knight

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Mantarys
  • Interests
    GRRM, languages, history, opera, Tolkien, parodies, being weird.

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  1. KoA joined the Brave companions because he thought they were a sockpuppet-knitting club. Why, who knows. Maybe it was the deceptive advertising.
  2. Doesn't one normally eat during an eating contest?
  3. Count Balerion

    Be as unhelpful as possible, v. 3 (No)

    I think it should be shelved. Do dragons have a larval stage where they look like enormous fire-breathing caterpillars?
  4. HC killed Joffrey! He was the 71st course, and had a slow-acting poison that only worked on obnoxious incest bastards! How durst he murther that hero!
  5. Count Balerion

    Be as unhelpful as possible, v. 3 (No)

    The High Septon annulled it. Did Rhaegar and Lyanna wuv each other?
  6. Would dreamwine help?
  7. Count Balerion

    Be as unhelpful as possible, v. 3 (No)

    In the show, everyone has teleportation powers -- except the army of the dead. So ... why ARE the dead so slow? They're worse than my Internet connexion!
  8. Count Balerion

    Am I the only one, v. ... I lost count ... 4?

    No. I'm not terribly sure there's going to be a 999th or1,000th, partly because I daresay the Wall will be coming down presently, and partly because .... Am I the only one who finds it doubtful that there have actually been 998 LCs? But then, I find all these millennia of history that are supposed to have passed to be dubious as well. At least in Middle-earth there are immortal elves and humans who live for hundreds of years; but i don't see dynasties lasting for several millennia, especially when what is reported to have happened could easily have happened in 2 or 3. Apart from things like the arrival of the First Men, which it makes sense would be of great antiquity.
  9. Count Balerion

    Am I the only one, v. ... I lost count ... 4?

    Probably not. I think I'm more likely to say "Richard". No one answered RB's question. I do feel mildly bad for them. Not in a sleep-losing kind of way; but it would get old. Although it's not the worst thing that happens to anyone in the story by any means. Am I the only one who wouldn't have minded Sansa in Winterfell if it hadn't been so horribly mangled. Although the rationale in the show was also a tad dubious iirc. (The North had amnesia.)
  10. Count Balerion

    Coldhands is secretly...

    Coldhands secretly writes ASOIAF fanfic.
  11. Count Balerion

    Be as unhelpful as possible, v. 3 (No)

    Only poetic licence. Where can I get an armadillo slave army?
  12. HC makes milkshakes with eye of newt, but instead of drinking them he feeds them to demon rabbits and forces them to post bizarre theories like "Joffrey is actually an enormous pickled onion". That's actually one of the more mainstream ones. But since they're demon rabbits, we should probably cut them some slack.
  13. HC makes milkshakes with eye of newt, but instead of drinking them he feeds them to demon rabbits and forces them to post bizarre theories like "Joffrey is actually an enormous pickled onion". That's actually one of the more mainstream ones. But since they're demon rabbits, we should probably cut them some slack.
  14. Count Balerion

    Be as unhelpful as possible, v. 3 (No)

    I asked Quaithe, but she only babbled something about going west to go east. Is Quaithe hot?
  15. Count Balerion

    Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

    HC hates opera because it brings back traumatic memories of when Pavarotti mistook him for supper. (He's not alone in that.)
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