Pod The Impaler Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 I want to believe that Tom was just really indulgent towards the Stark children. They thought they were fooling him, but he was just being nice...i.e. she responds "NO!!" and he decides well, I'll give her some time alone to sort herself out.Well, yes - it's more funny to think that Arya's 8 years old and actually thinks Tom believed her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrcella Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 It's from the show only, but here it goes:Mel: "You must kneel to your brother. He is born of salt and smoke."Renly: "Born of salt and smoke... is he a ham?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StannisBamfatheon Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 "Who better to command the black cloaks then a man who commanded the gold sire?"Any of you, I would think. Even the cook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serme Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 “Where do whores go?” he asked the wash flapping on the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlMentore96 Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Welcome to the boards OP! :)One of my favorites:Stannis ( about Craster and Gilly ) : " Her own father got this child on her? We are well rid of her then. I'll not suffer such abominations here. This is not King's Landing. "God i laughed so hard on that one i actually had to put the book down. Another really awesome one was Jeor Mormont telling the story about Aerion Brightflame who drank a cup of wildfire and thought it would turn him into a dragon "...but the Gods were good and it turned him into a corpse." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod The Impaler Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Shagga son of Dolf had his monents:"Shagga, cut of his manhood and feed it to the goats.""There are no goats, halfman."Later..."Shave him closer, the throat again. ... Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.""Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volderon Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 "What brings you down from the mountains?""Horses" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Sparrow Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Shagga son of Dolf had his monents:"Shagga, cut of his manhood and feed it to the goats.""There are no goats, halfman."Later..."Shave him closer, the throat again. ... Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.""Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers."Anything with Shagga automatically becomes pretty fantastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmholt Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 "we'll call it the war for Cersei's cunt"andsomeone said to Asha at the Kingsmoot, Balon let her think she was a man and she replied "your father made the same mistake with you"or somethng like that. Wow dont get me started ha ha - everything so far is just classic.I get the idea that Stannis isnt even half trying to be funny, he just cant help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tati Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Jaime, describing Ser Cleos in Storm of Swords, his first chapter..."Ser Cleos looked like a weasel, fought like a goose, and had the courage of an especially brave ewe". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady_Sansa Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 oh theres a funny one where tyrion is disguise as yollo (lol) and someone on the ship is making fun of him so when tyrion is taking a piss someone says "at least he pisses well"and tyrion goes "if you think thats good you should see how I shit" i laughed for like 20 minutes lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyrions sliced nose Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 from a ghost in winterfell:Theon-"Plucked from the clutches of one bastard to die in the hands of another, what a jape! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Flandrensis Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 When Pyp says "The night is dark and full of turnips. Let us pray for venison, my children, with some onions and a bit of tasty gravy." LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyPounce Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 "Your silver is ours. Your horses are ours. You have nothing to give us but your lives. How would you like to die, Tyrion son Tywin?""In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty", he replied."Bran knew that men slept on top of women when they shared a bed. Sleeping under Lord Manderly would be like sleeping under a fallen horse, he imagined. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louzeyre Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Pretty much anything Lady Olenna says in her first scene with Sansa is very funny actually but some of my favorites include: "The Tyrells can trace their descent back to Garth Greenhand," was the best [sansa] could manage at short notice. The Queen of Thorns snorted. "So can the Florents, the Rowans, the Oakhearts, and half the other noble houses of the south. Garth liked to plant his seed in fertile ground, they say. I shouldn’t wonder that more than his hands were green." "I’ve never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they’re only men with the useful bits cut off. " "Do you know my son, Sansa? Lord Puff Fish of Highgarden?" "My husband, the late Lord Luthor. Oh, I loved him well enough, don’t mistake me. A kind man, and not unskilled in the bedchamber, but an appalling oaf all the same. He managed to ride off a cliff whilst hawking. " "The cheese will be served when I want it served, and I want it served now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Drunkard Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Essentially everything Stannis says after losing on the Blackwater is just fantastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currawong Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Pretty much anything Lady Olenna says in her first scene with Sansa is very funny actually ... Your list didn't include my favorites from that scene, especially her descriptions of Renly and Loras :) Renly: " He knew how to dress and he knew how to smile and he knew how to bathe, and somehow he got the notion that this made him fit to be king. The Baratheons have always had some queer notions to be sure."Loras: "Loras is young, and very good at knocking men off horses with a stick. That does not make him wise." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASRAIL Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Lommy Greenhands: "And what do I do if the wolves come?"Arya: " Yield!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gougef Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Pretty much anything Lady Olenna says in her first scene with Sansa is very funny actually but some of my favorites include: To me, this is the best scene in the audiobooks - with Roy Dotrice singing The Bear and the Maiden Fair in between the dialogue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colakki Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Strangely, Stannis smiledand..You are dead men, understand that," the king went on. "Only the manner of your dying remains to be determined. You would be well advised not to waste my time with denials. Confess, and you shall have the same swift end that the Young Wolf gave Lord Rickard. Lie, and you will burn. Choose.well, everything Stannis says is fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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