The Marquis de Leech Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Now that the venerable old thread has run its life course, it's time for a new limericks thread.I'll start it off:The Westeros lords couldn't stand themAnd Maegor the Cruelish had banned themSo when Cersei the miscreantRevived the Faith Militant...Quod and erat demonstrandum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the silent speaker Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Viserys's visions were grandiose:"The Iron Throne they will all hand to us!"The King of the WagonMight be called a dragon,But dormiens, nunc titillandius.ASOIAF requires a reacherTo add this addititonal feature.And yet we add Latin.Why do we throw that in?To make the thing altum viditur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 This thread’s limerick number twois about what the Other’s can’t do.They can’t cross the Wall;they can’t fly; worst of all:they don’t know how to build a canoe.ETA: Crap. Too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 Inheriting Casterly Rock,The white cloak's a sizeable block Which is the clear reason(Plus trial and high treason) Succession is pretty ad hoc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 This thread’s limerick number twois about what the Other’s can’t do.They can’t cross the Wall;they can’t fly; worst of all:they don’t know how to build a canoe.One feels the icy sensationThat Others delay their invasion They've had thousands of yearsWith swords, spiders, and spears:All lost, thanks to procrastination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 For Lovers of crass innuendoExcitement will reach a crescendoWhen Shitmouth the cretinSees the Kingslayer threatenTo ram a large spear up his end-oh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Cersei and Jaime were "curious",Their mother exceedingly furious,So she threatened the twainAnd warned "Not again!"In such volumes as proved most injurious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Roose B. and his favourite leechwere trying to chill at the beach.But aprubtly the lordscrambled up, and then roared,“Blow meâ€â€™s just a figure of speech! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomDayne Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Roose B. and his favourite leechwere trying to chill at the beach.But aprubtly the lordscrambled up, and then roared,“Blow meâ€â€™s just a figure of speech! :thumbsup: BriliantMaid Sansa went to some hassle,when playing 'Come into my castle'.The Lord's little giant,broke the gates all defiant,now his insides make do for a tassel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreadwolf Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Dante Alighieri's unpublished due to his editor had temporary closed. Later on the slightly expurgated edition became the bestseller.(dedicated to BWB)In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in the dark wood where the true way was wholly lostSome brothers born and bread immodest, infested once a murky forest.Their leader was as cold as ice,and never hung a bastard twice,for crows were always there to feast.Abandon hope, all ye who enter hereThey had no rights, but had the ropesAnd that was right enough becauseThe Law and Order like no otherrespects the rights of mournful mother.Stranger, bemoan your brothers lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Other-in-law Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 The Merryweathers revel and rompwhen they dance the fertility stompjust ask the cognoscentiif their horn of plenty bears produce that grew in a swamp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 The Merryweathers revel and rompwhen they dance the fertility stompjust ask the cognoscentiif their horn of plenty bears produce that grew in a swamp!Queen Cersei thought herself cleverWhilst bedding a Ms Merryweather(Her manliness feigningInvolved nightly "draining"Of a swamp in some regions most nether) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Brother Clegane Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 There once was a knight called Hyle Hunt,who orchestrated a quite ruthless stunt.He bet vast sums of gold,on her maidenhead we're told,but he only slipped in to her Stunted sense of selfSer Barristan was labeled the bold,Enemies to the crown now grow cold,Then the bitch and her whelpdismissed his loyal help,Claiming his bones were too old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Selmy Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 There were the brothers Clegane,They lived a life of hardship and pain,The Hound was a drunken sot,The Mountain deserved what he got,And never shall war be the same.Couldn't think of a better ending and I liked it too much to give up on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Couldn't think of a better ending and I liked it too much to give up on it.How about "And both of them batshit insane"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Greguh Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 A Tarth-woman's quest, ever veering(Though never within a man's leering)May well lead her to DorneWhere her ancestors bornInto her an odd skill: puppeteering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakob Lightbringer Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 To the tower did Lord Eddard ride,With six swordsmen silent beside,Where Ser Arthur Dayne grins,And says "Now it begins,""No, now it ends," Eddard replied.For his silence did Ned pay the price,To his sister he swore a vow twice,By the blood of her bed,She said "Promise me, Ned."And he did so by Dawn and by Ice.When Eddard approached Starfall Keep,The Lady Ashara did weep,And on seeing the sword,That her brother adored,She threw herself into the deep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomDayne Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 To the tower did Lord Eddard ride,With six swordsmen silent beside,Where Ser Arthur Dayne grins,And says "Now it begins,""No, now it ends," Eddard replied.For his silence did Ned pay the price,To his sister he swore a vow twice,By the blood of her bed,She said "Promise me, Ned."And he did so by Dawn and by Ice.When Eddard approached Starfall Keep,The Lady Ashara did weep,And on seeing the sword,That her brother adored,She threw herself into the deep.Oooh, good story-telling-series-limericks.Here's my attmept...The Kraken had once been deprived,of the sea, where he lived and he thrived.A shipwights wife had then said, while her hand was undoing his thread, 'Little brother, at last you've arrived.'Said sister had grown nice of face,though she did prefer iron to lace.She'd married her dagger,forcing brother to stagger,putting him right in his place. The attacks on the North were his to lead, but 'your to harry the coast, make them bleed.'While the sister took glory,he would make his own story,and force his men to die for his greed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Other-in-law Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Cat wasn't so sure that she trulyfelt safe 'round those wolf cubs unduly'til one chewed a gash inBran's would be assassinthen she cried out "Eamus Catuli!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodor's Heroes Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Bow before the all-mighty HodorFeared even in nasty old MordorOrcs quiver and dieWhen great Hodor cries:Hodor! oh Hodor! oh Hodor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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