YuvalTheVal Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Cat: "you tried to kill my son, haven't you?"Jamie: "well, usually when I push a boy from a window I don't mean to improve his health"I remember this very vaguely but it made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfell Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Oberyn Martell: As children Elia and I were inseparable, much like your own brother and sister.Tyrion's internal monologue: Gods, I hope not.Roose Bolton: Get the keys and remove those chains from him, before you make me rue the day I raped your mother. (I know it's awful but there's something about the combination of completely evil and casual delivery that made this really comical to read) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shiera Seastar~ Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Gendry: “If you need help bark like a dog."Arya: "That's stupid. If I need help I'll shout help." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnbentFury Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 "And lions don't forget easily. Something Bronn would soon learn."This is hilarious considering what happens later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Red Hand Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Erik Ironmaker at the kingsmoot:“Erik!” Men moved aside to let her through. With one foot on the lowest step, she said, “Erik, stand up.”A hush fell. The wind blew, waves broke against the shore, men murmured in each other’s ears. Erik Ironmaker stared down at Asha Greyjoy. “Girl. Thrice-damned girl. What did you say?”“Stand up, Erik,” she called. “Stand up and I’ll shout your name with all the rest. Stand up and I’ll be the first to follow you. You want a crown, aye. Stand up and take it.”Elsewhere in the press, the Crow’s Eye laughed. Erik glared at him. The big man’s hands closed tight around the arms of his driftwood throne. His face went red, then purple. His arms trembled with effort. Aeron could see a thick blue vein pulsing in his neck as he struggled to rise. For a moment it seemed as though he might do it, but the breath went out of him all at once, and he groaned and sank back onto his cushion. Euron laughed all the louder.The mental image I get from this makes me laugh every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ed Lannister Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 "Who knows more of gods than I? Horse gods and fire gods, gods made of gold with gemstone eyes, gods carved of cedar wood, gods chiseled into mountains, gods of empty air... I know them all. I have seen their peoples garland them with flowers, and shed the blood of goats and bulls and children in their names. And I have heard the prayers, in half a hundred tongues. Cure my withered leg, make the maiden love me, grant me a healthy son. Save me, succor me, make me wealthy... protect me! Protect me from mine enemies, protect me from the darkness, protect me from the crabs inside my belly, from the horselords, from the slavers, from the sellswords at my door. Protect me from the silence." He laughed. "Godless? Why, Aeron, I am the godliest man ever to raise sail! You serve one god, Damphair, but I have served ten thousand. From Ib to Asshai, when men see my sails, they pray." – Euron "Crow's Eye" Greyjoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trident full of Dogs Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I love to read Arya swear CAMEL CUNTS! Nearly fell off my chair.Also the Hound was funny when he was on the road with Arya. He complained the water tasted muddy... I know it was a sad moment but it was funny anyway, a grown man wounded near his death bitching about his water. Somehow it was funny for me...very human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logodnica Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Brienne: You said I had honor ...Jamie: I'm the bloody Kingslayer, remember? when I say you have honor, that's like a whore vouchsafing your maidenhood.SoS pg. 1006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfell Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 It's not the funniest but it tickles me: the scene where Butterbumps is running around singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" at the top of his voice while Sansa talks to Margaery and the Queen of Thorns, I just keep imagining that Butterbumps is dancing and singing almost to the point of hysteria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TalalOfDorne Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Cersei in AFFC. She was hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bo Bice Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Cersei in AFFC. She was hilarious.All her inner monologues about what morons everyone else are and such :agree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChillinLikeSerIlyn Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 When the Queen of Thorns is not-so-subtly mocking the Dwarf's penny:"Tyrion was beginning to wonder whether Lord Luthor Tyrell had ridden off that cliff intentionally." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Moff Mithrandir Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 "Lord Pea Pod. If you were a man, I would kill you for that, but my sword is made of too fine a steel to besmirch with craven's blood" - Wull"Ramsay hated my smiles, so he took a hammer to my teeth"-Theon "The deck was moving under him, and for half a heartbeat he was so confused he thought he was back on the Shy Maid. A whiff of pigshit brought him to his senses" And finally my favourites:" Old as sin and twice as ugly, the lot of them. It was almost enough to put a man off whoring" -Tyrion "The shaft tore through the folds of his banner and hung spent, the point a bare foot from his face. It startled him so badly that he dropped the peace banner and tumbled from his saddle""Patchface shuffled his feet in a grotesque dance step" (Couldn't help but think of the Party Rock Anthem when I read this :) ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo Attano Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 - Any of the repeated mentions of Stannis grinding his teeth- "She's been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know.."- When Tommen wanted to name one of the new ships 'Moon Boy'- "The night is dark and full of turnips"- Whenever Dany's handmaids say "It Is Known" in unison- Dany: "[Viserys] will sweep westeros with fifty thousand Dothraki." Jorah: "Viserys could not sweep a stable with fifty thousand brooms" - Just before Drogon reappears, when Belwas says that "Strong Belwas ate too many locusts... Strong Belwas needs milk" just The mental image of this huge, muscled, scarred ex-fighting slave sweating profusley and asking for a glass of milk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale of Tears Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 hot pie kicking a boy to death in the ballsHot Pie yelling "Hot Pie!".Lommy Greenhands: "And what do I do if the wolves come?"Arya: " Yield!"Gendry: “If you need help bark like a dog."Arya: "That's stupid. If I need help I'll shout help."Haahahah I love all the dialogue with Arya and Yorens lot on the way to the Wall. The bantering between hot pie, lommy, and gendry with Arya is hilarious. I especially loved and laughed my ass off when she beat the shit outta hot pie. Alotta good quotes on here. Any sentence with Vargo Hoat is funny: " Kingthlayer .. You are my captifth"And I loved this bit with Jaime and Brienne:"Her name is Brienne," Jaime said. "Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?"Her broad homely face turned red. "Yes.""Oh, good," Jaime said. "I only rescue maidens."Tyrion also has the funniest parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadpegasus Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Davos needs to get little Edric Storm onto the escape boat, but the bastard is being difficult. He demands to see the king. So to get hiss little ass moving, Davos reminds him of what happens when Stannis gets angry by showing Edric his maimed hand. It works, and the boy jumps onto the boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerys Frost Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 "Fetch the duck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mushroomshirt Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 "Fetch the duck.""I'm Duck, you mouthy little pisspot."..."I had a smaller duck in mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reyneofcastamere Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 "Ser Cleos looked like a weasel, fought like a goose, and had the courage of an especially brave ewe" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Definitely Mayhaps Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 'Are you afraid I'll piss on your magic sword and put it out?'Also, last Dany chapter, the image of her squatting and shitting in the grass sea somehow makes a funny vision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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