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TheEvilKing

[NO BOOK SPOILERS] Official Episode 5 Character Rankings

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Terrific episode, nay?

Here are this week's Official character rankings.

BADASS RANKINGS:

1. The Mountain - he cut a horse's head off

2. The Hound - probably the only motherfucker in the Seven Kingdoms crazy enough to stand up to his bro

3. Bronn

4. Jaime - so pissed that his one-on-one fight is interrupted that he smacks his own guard

5. Ser Rodrik - shrugs off his wound like an old pro

Honourable mention: Jory. Cuts down two of Jaime's henchmen before getting owned

Dishonourable mention: Renly. Gigantic wuss.

ACTING RANKINGS:

1. King Robert - the Small Council scene and the scene with Cersei were gold from Mark Addy

2. Lord Varys - was everywhere this ep, and he's exactly how I picture the Spider

3. Maester Luwin

4. Tyrion

5. Jaime - only had the one scene but he nailed it

Honourable mention: Lysa and Robin Arryn. Wow.

Dishonourable mention: Theon - not convinced by this lad. Also, penis.

BEST SCENE RANKINGS:

1. Robert and Cersei's friendly chat in Robert's Drinking Chamber

2. Robert torturing Lancel

3. The Eyrie/Creepy tit sucking kid

4. The Small Council scene

5. Jaime vs Ned

Honourable mention: Varys and Ned's small chat. Understated but nice scene.

Dishonourable mention: Theon banging Ros. Seemed pointless. Also, penis.

Feel free to discuss the official rankings or post your own. :owned:

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IMO

BADASS RANKINGS:

1. The Hound - The only guy with the balls to challenge the Mountain AND bowed down right in the middle of fight in spite of what the Mountain might do to him.

2. the Mountain

3. Bronn

4 & 5 Jaime and Ned - Can't choose between these guys

Honourable mention: Jory Cassel and Ser Rodric Cassel

Dishonourable mention: Renly and Loras - I know they are gay but damn, be a little less gay about it guys.

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Acting wise, I liked everyone in this episode, no exceptions.

Characters that really stood out for me were Loras and The Hound. I have been waiting for that tourney scene, and it was awesome. Bronn's was another great performance, short as it was. Jory went nicely, too. Poor Jory.

Lysa and Robin Arryn... I wish I could praise them, because they really deserved it, but that stuff was so sick and creepy, I may need a moment to recover.

Best scenes: Jaime vs Ned, The Mountain vs Loras vs The Hound, Tyrion in the Cells.

Not the best scenes: Theon banging Ros (unnecessary), Littlefinger vs Varys (almost unnecessary), Loras shaving Renly (too much, too soon, too cheesy).

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What no mention of Littlefinger v Varys???

That was a deadlier duel than the one in the tourney...

PS Nothing wrong with penis

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BADASS RANKINGS:

1. Bronn. I think I saw him cut down 3 mountain tribes guys. Nice.

2. Jaime - Dagger through poor Jory's eye. Ouch. "Kill his men."

3. The Mountain - He's the mountain.

4. The Hound - The way he bowed and Gregors' sword went right over his head was PERFECCCT.

ACTING RANKINGS:

1. Robert - Even though he's not exactly how I pictured Robert, he definitely is nailing his personality.

2. Tyrion - When he says he had nothing to do with the murder the quiver in his voice is perfect. Dude's great.

BEST SCENE:

1. Jaime confronts Ned

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Everyone's acting in this episode was fine, but they're really botching the characters of Renly, Loras, and Sandor. Theon's story feels shoehorned in. I also don't remember Bran being quite so brooding and petulant in the books.

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Everyone's acting in this episode was fine, but they're really botching the characters of Renly, Loras, and Sandor. Theon's story feels shoehorned in. I also don't remember Bran being quite so brooding and petulant in the books.

Yeah, Renly is a horrible disappointment. As for Sandor, I still have hope that he's not going to be all silent and dour and ambivalent throughout the whole series. Right now he's basically Ilyn Payne. Where the fuck is the HOUND? Still haven't met him yet.

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Clariana,

PS Nothing wrong with penis

Indeed. And our dear Theon, apart from having a pretty physique, sports a nice specimen as well.

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I think the hound was hands down the most badass because of the way he kneeled. Robert was spot on how I pictured him, and bronn did some nice work too.

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