Here we go:
1) Last summer when I went camping, I was attacked by several demon-zorses in the pay of Hot Pie, and my cowardly dragon ran away! ==> F) A poor man is sitting by his campfire coming up with conspiracy theories, including the forests of Europe being full of free weed and dragons being vicious Zebra killers.
2) Although vacationing in the Summer Isles had long been a dream of ours and we had heard of the mythical "talking trees", we certainly weren't expecting the trees to teach us how to dance La Macarena. ==> b) While the (naked?) lady hangs out under a coconut palm with a chap in a loincloth, she thinks about pentagons; weird ghost-fish thing watch.
3) Last time I went camping, I was somewhere between France and Spain and I woke up early with the song of a stream among rocks and bushes, and the whistles of a whole colony of tiny groundhogs, afraid of the blurry shadow casted by an eagle. ==> G) At a wooded campsite, nestled in the pubic hair between France and Spain, a very thin man flips off a confused wolf and bird.
4) I like to listen to true crime podcasts while walking my Jack Russell terrier named Lucio through beautiful woodland. ==> E) A man with a beanie with pom pom walks in a path in a pines/trees forest, listening music on a old-fashioned walkman, and walking Teeto (from Nausicaa movie) on a leash. He seems unaware that further in the wood, two policemen are really surprised to see a stabbed guy crying.
5) The autumn camping trip ended when the chestnut tree decided to bomb the campers chilling under it. ==> A) A hippie man and woman sit outside their VW van by a fire, the woman holding her baby, while heart shaped butterflies fly out of a nearby tree that also has a rainbow flag.
6) The last time I went camping I took an executive highlighter with me, because the original just doesn’t cut it. ==> H) The last time Minnie Mouse went camping it was autumn and she sang a love song to a perplexed wizard under a beautiful full moon.
7) After setting up the tent, Harry and Hermione began to make out on top of the camp table causing the loss of innocence and a bowl of trail mix. ==> D) A girl with a backpack walks up the hill, a boy in a striped t-shirt is roasting munchmallows; they both have traffic cones with aerials circling around their heads.
8) We went camping in the Shenandoah Mountains so we could get pictures of the Milkyway but it was too cloudy. ==> C) A bunch of drunken hooligans set fire to the forest causing the smoke beast to consume the sun.
And please, if someone could tell me what is an highlighter...for me, naïve non-native English speaker, it's just the pen used to mark interesting sentences on a copy...So an "executive highlighter" is just a kind of giant highlighter that can do the job properly...What else is it supposed to be?