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Last Thing They Would Say (Character Anti-Philosophy) game v.4


complexphoenix

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Sansa: Room for one more!


Gregor: Does anybody feel threatened by me? I know I'm big and imposing, but I want this to be a safe space, okay?


The Red Viper: Please stay, sweet Gregor! You're the only one alive that might make me break my lifelong vow of celibacy!


The Hound: Sansa, Snake, get the fuck out of the way. Gregor is mine and mine alone to love!





Mance Rayder and Rhaegar Targaryen pissing off the top of the Wall next to each other.


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Stannis: Do you accept the Lord of Light as your god and savior? He makes me feel warm and fuzzy almost as much as seeing you again, dear brothers!



Renly: Well, do they have hot women?



Robert: Renly, that's inappropriate! I don't think so, Stannis, you know I can't abide those loose Essosi morals with all their wanton sexuality.





Jaime and Robert, having both been dumped by Cersei.


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Stannis: Do you accept the Lord of Light as your god and savior? He makes me feel warm and fuzzy almost as much as seeing you again, dear brothers!

Renly: Well, do they have hot women?

Robert: Renly, that's inappropriate! I don't think so, Stannis, you know I can't abide those loose Essosi morals with all their wanton sexuality.

Jaime and Robert, having both been dumped by Cersei.

Jamie-- Mom was better in the sack than you were anyway...

Robert-- My dearest love you are all I ever dreamed of, please oh please take me back..

Bran in a threelegged race, Ilyn Payne at a spelling bee, Dolan Noye juggling axes, and Cersei baking a cake

---Yes I know that Payne is illiterate and mute...

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Bran: HODOR. You realize three-legged race doesn't mean use your third leg, right? Gods, just put me down, I'm starting to get creeped out by your willingness to carry me around. You're not stupid, you know how this must look.



Ilyn Payne: I'm illiterate, you bloody fools. Why did you bring me to a spelling bee?!



Donal Noye: I am SO beating the Halfhand this year!



Cersei: Could somebody bring me the Splenda? I'm worried about Robert's health, I'd feel so terrible if anything happened to him because of me.




to PP: I know you know he was illiterate and mute, that's why he verbally told you. I couldn't think of anything better I guess!




I'm changing my next one because the last was not very good and no responses.








Roose Bolton and Fat Walda on their first night together.


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*credits roll*


Tyrion: that was so unrealistic! nobody has seven books' worth of plot armor and gets to ride a dragon at some point!



Everybody else is too busy holding hands to answer, except for Brienne, who is trying to call Lady Stoneheart down on Hogwarts to hang all the innocent children.








Roose Bolton and Tormund Giantsbane in a bathhouse.


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You know, I don't think I actually want to be on a game show. I'm not very good, you see...I think I have low self-esteem. I fucked up an entire continent and even my dragons don't really care about me. You should probably give the prize to the Starks, or the Baratheons.





Littlefinger and Sansa at dinner.


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  • 2 weeks later...

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