Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Sorry if I'm jumping the gun, but there's been literally no league talk at all this offseason and I'm starved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 12 minutes ago, Joe Pesci said: You going to do the Pick 'Em league again this year? That's a good time. Absolutely. As soon as I get that automated renewal email from Yahoo I'll throw a thread up. If memory serves I think those usually get sent out in early August. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 13 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said: Sorry if I'm jumping the gun, but there's been literally no league talk at all this offseason and I'm starved. No, I'm with you. I was really into the NBA postseason and draft and free agency and whatnot, but that's over with. And my MLB team is horrid, so I've been less interested in that this season. Could use some Fantasy/NFL chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 3 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said: No, I'm with you. I was really into the NBA postseason and draft and free agency and whatnot, but that's over with. And my MLB team is horrid, so I've been less interested in that this season. Could use some Fantasy/NFL chat. Thank god! Wanna do some divisional breakdowns? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Pony Queen Jace said: Thank god! Wanna do some divisional breakdowns? Watch ya got, girl? I was just reading a CBS Sports article that ranked all the divisions 1-8. They went with: 8) NFC West (kind of hard to argue, seeing as how my 49ers and the Rams are still in it) 7) AFC South with the caveat that with both Mariota and Luck coming off major injuries this division is a bit of a question mark 6) AFC North. They are touting the Ravens as the new Browns and they are also really low on the Bengals 5) NFC North mostly because the Bears are going to be one of the worst teams in the league 4) AFC East gets dragged down by the woeful Jets and The Bills are listed as a big question mark 3) NFC South bolstered by a projected bounceback by the Panthers 2) AFC West anchored by Oakland and KC with both the Chargers and Broncos being listed as potential darkhorses 1) NFC East due to projected bounceback by the Giants and all the other teams basically maintaining last years sucess (Not sure how that math works, but hey, It's CBS http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/2017-nfl-preseason-divisional-power-rankings-the-afc-west-isnt-the-best/ Don't have huge issues with the article. I'd likely swap #1 and #2, but I'm kind of all in on the Raiders this season. If Lynch has anything left in the tank, I think that offense could be really special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 8 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said: Watch ya got, girl? I was just reading a CBS Sports article that ranked all the divisions 1-8. They went with: 8) NFC West (kind of hard to argue, seeing as how my 49ers and the Rams are still in it) 7) AFC South with the caveat that with both Mariota and Luck coming off major injuries this division is a bit of a question mark 6) AFC North. They are touting the Ravens as the new Browns and they are also really low on the Bengals 5) NFC North mostly because the Bears are going to be one of the worst teams in the league 4) AFC East gets dragged down by the woeful Jets and The Bills are listed as a big question mark 3) NFC South bolstered by a projected bounceback by the Panthers 2) AFC West anchored by Oakland and KC with both the Chargers and Broncos being listed as potential darkhorses 1) NFC East due to projected bounceback by the Giants and all the other teams basically maintaining last years sucess (Not sure how that math works, but hey, It's CBS http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/2017-nfl-preseason-divisional-power-rankings-the-afc-west-isnt-the-best/ Don't have huge issues with the article. I'd likely swap #1 and #2, but I'm kind of all in on the Raiders this season. If Lynch has anything left in the tank, I think that offense could be really special. I was thinking more we divvy up the divisions and each really dig into them, as deep as the individual wants of course. I can't read another fluff piece about Emmanuel Sanders' diet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Introducing the Series 2017 Outlook for A Team You Know Nothing About The 2017 Miami Dolphins Does anybody know anything about the Dolphins? Have they done anything relevant since Dan Marino retired? I know Ndonteventryandspellit Suh plays for them. Is he still good? I think he's overrated. Maybe he should change his name to Overrated Suh. Life ain't easy for a boy named Suh, doubly so when nobody can spell your first name. Presumably there are some receivers that play for Miami? But I don't do fantasy football, so I can't remember who they are. But Jay Ajayi, he's good, right? I remember he had some sweet highlights, could run through the field like a fish through water. Get it? Yes I know dolphins aren't fish, but "like a dolphin through water" sounds ridiculous. Ryan Tannehill is still their quarterback, but I don't know if that is a good thing or not. The fact that every year is apparently "his big year" indicates that he sucks. I'm going to go ahead and assume that he'll have another lackluster year and Dolphins fans will be wondering if this is "the big year" when they finally get rid of him. I hear his wife is hot? I don't really care about that sort of thing, but it's still kind of amazing that this sort of information filters through the detritus that is NFL news. Presumably there are some other players also, but I don't know who they are. Dolphins fans everywhere will have to hope that they are suddenly very good at football, but everyone else knows it's not going to matter because the Patriots are probably going to win the division by Thanksgiving. Join in everybody! What can you tell us about a team you don't know anything about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 20 minutes ago, Maithanet said: Introducing the Series 2017 Outlook for A Team You Know Nothing About The 2017 Miami Dolphins Does anybody know anything about the Dolphins? Have they done anything relevant since Dan Marino retired? I know Ndonteventryandspellit Suh plays for them. Is he still good? I think he's overrated. Maybe he should change his name to Overrated Suh. Life ain't easy for a boy named Suh, doubly so when nobody can spell your first name. Presumably there are some receivers that play for Miami? But I don't do fantasy football, so I can't remember who they are. But Jay Ajayi, he's good, right? I remember he had some sweet highlights, could run through the field like a fish through water. Get it? Yes I know dolphins aren't fish, but "like a dolphin through water" sounds ridiculous. Ryan Tannehill is still their quarterback, but I don't know if that is a good thing or not. The fact that every year is apparently "his big year" indicates that he sucks. I'm going to go ahead and assume that he'll have another lackluster year and Dolphins fans will be wondering if this is "the big year" when they finally get rid of him. I hear his wife is hot? I don't really care about that sort of thing, but it's still kind of amazing that this sort of information filters through the detritus that is NFL news. Presumably there are some other players also, but I don't know who they are. Dolphins fans everywhere will have to hope that they are suddenly very good at football, but everyone else knows it's not going to matter because the Patriots are probably going to win the division by Thanksgiving. Join in everybody! What can you tell us about a team you don't know anything about? My favorite new segment The 2017 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Does anybody really believe there's an NFL team in Tampa, Florida? Have you ever been there? I flew over it once and it looked like a dump, even worse than the rest of Florida. But EVERYBODY knows they have that future/current star on their team. You know the one, he plays the position that Ryan Grigson once said "if you have one of these, you don't need anybody else". That's right, I'm talking about legendarily competent former Jets kicker Nick Folk. Who they guaranteed a whopping 750000 monies to a year after trading up in the second round of the draft to acquire the best short-to-very-short range High School kicker in NCAA history! But a comically high-stakes kicker battle isn't the only thing that has brought this team to the cusp of national acknowledgement, HBO's Hard Knocks was entranced by the possibility of giving viewers a close-up look at petty thief, probable rapist (c'mon), definite mysoginist, former 1st overall pick... this is not a joke, I cannot remember his fucking name. Seriously, I'm googling it now... Jameis Winston. Didn't have to actually type in 'Bucs' QB, but I was reaching for the 'B' key when I remembered. Anyways, this probable scum of humanity has been lauded as a 'kid who figured it out', a 'great leader', and 'so energetic that if you have a vagina you shouldn't be alone with him'. After a pretty mediocre first year followed by an ok-ish second year, will this be the wow!!! third year? I don't know, and honestly I'm a bit annoyed of hearing about this guy at this point. He's not even the best QB to have been drafted in the top 2 picks of 2015. Whatever, they also have this tree WR who everyone loves or something and added Deshaun Jackson who's actually really good and fun to watch but is also super old and can't play so much no more. Like, he's still good when he's on the field, but he just don't make it so much no more. Douggie Baldwin is also the running back and he's good in odd years, so if he stops the drugs maybe he can play some for them and I'm pretty sure that's it. Yeah, so this forgettable team in the most forgettable NFL division is going to be force fed to NFL fans this august on All or Nothing a year after audiences spent the 5 week runtime languishing with Jeff Fisher. So sit down ladies and be quiet, because the Bucs are not having this 7-9 bullshit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 5 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said: My favorite new segment The 2017 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Nice. I considered picking the Bucs just so I could make fun of Aguayo. 6 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said: I don't know, and honestly I'm a bit annoyed of hearing about this guy at this point. He's not even the best QB to have been drafted in the top 2 picks of 2015. But he is definitely in the top 2 of "NFL quarterbacks who probably definitely raped someone". As far as we know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 2 minutes ago, Maithanet said: Nice. I considered picking the Bucs just so I could make fun of Aguayo. But he is definitely in the top 2 of "NFL quarterbacks who probably definitely raped someone". As far as we know. EHHH OHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 49 minutes ago, Maithanet said: Join in everybody! What can you tell us about a team you don't know anything about? This smells like a great game. I wanna play. The 2017 Baltimore Ravens Is this city a shithole or what? I say that with the confidence of someone who has never been there and will likely never go. Between The Wire and The Expanse novella The Churn, I think I've seen enough. But enough about that. It's not like the team got to pick its' location or anything, right? Oh Shit! They did! Fuck you, Cleveland! Eat a vat of Skyline chili and die in a tidal wave of your own sweat! So it looks like the Ratbirds were 8-8 last season, which is somehow better than what I thought. I know they lost Elvis Dumervil in Free Agency (I only know this because the 49ers picked him up) It looks like they drafted a CB and an LB in the first two rounds of the draft and got a couple of pieces for their secondary in Free Agency with Brandon Carr and Tony Jefferson coming aboard. So it looks like they've improved on defense, at least on paper. That said, they are still saddled with probably the most overpaid QB in the league with Joe Flacco. At this point I think it might behoove him to take his eyebrows back to Sesame Street and introduce the letter of the day and shit. Oh yeah, and they need to divest themselves from stabby, future HOFer, ex-players who still want to hang around camp and glom onto the team. This team will not finish better than .500, and if it does, I probably won't even notice, cause Baltimore can EABOD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywin et al. Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 I'm down when it's time. I gotta return @Pony Queen Jace the beating she gave me last year. Also, when is it time to defend my Pick'em championship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Tywin et al. said: I'm down when it's time. I gotta return @Pony Queen Jace the beating she gave me last year. Also, when is it time to defend my Pick'em championship? Was that the one where I rested my starters? I'm not one to antagonize a man who says he wants to give me a beating, but that shit was hard to watch from the winning side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywin et al. Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Pony Queen Jace said: Was that the one where I rested my starters? I'm not one to antagonize a man who says he wants to give me a beating, but that shit was hard to watch from the winning side. Nah that was the only time I beat you. You went 3-1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Just now, Tywin et al. said: Nah that was the only time I beat you. You went 3-1. Huh, you got a victory against me? I just can't let that go. What will people think, me losing to such a man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywin et al. Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 The 2017 San Diego Los Angles Chargers The Chargers have been so irrelevant, I forgot that they moved, because really, who cares. They went from being the biggest get in town in San Diego to being the second banana football team (and maybe third if you consider USC) in a city that really doesn't care about football. And they managed to leave behind one of the nicest cities in the country to go to a futuristic hellscape in La La Land. Maybe Emma Stone will sing them a crappy song to ease their suffering? Can anyone name more than five Chargers' players? Cause that's where I capped out. There's Philip Rivers, who might be the only great QB in NFL history to have more children than playoff wins. And congratulations for signing that extension after the team reassured you that they weren't likely going to move to L.A. How''d that work out for ya? There's also whatever's left of Gates' corpse. Yikes, he's still in the league? Speaking of corpses, Kennan Allen. Two years ago his season ended with a kidney injury. So the Chargers promptly signed him to a 4 year, $48 million contract extension. And how did he repay them you might ask? Only by tearing his ACL in the season opener. So Chargers! Then there is Melvin Gordon. He actually looked OK after coming back from an injury, but the number 15 overall pick has still yet to crack 1,000 yards. On the plus side, he did receive a participation style Pro Bowl appearance. Bosa is the last player I could name, and he's probably the brightest prospect on the team, that is if he can avoid getting suspended for "undisclosed reasons." As for the rest of their roster, for all I know they're just waiting to contribute to the ever growing BODs. The Chargers outlook for 2017 isn't bright. They were 5-11 last season and finished last in their division for the second year in a row. Moreover, two of their division rivals went to the playoffs last year, and they probably will again. And Denver is no joke either. I will boldly predict that the Chargers will go 4-12 next year. They're loaded with players that are either old, injury prone or on the decline. The future is not bright for the team with the coolest jerseys in the League. Also, L.A. fans, enjoy experiencing the one QB in the NFL that will yell at and insult his own fans. Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywin et al. Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 34 minutes ago, Pony Queen Jace said: Huh, you got a victory against me? I just can't let that go. What will people think, me losing to such a man? It's OK. I always let the women in life win anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 20 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said: It's OK. I always let the women in life win anyways. You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudguard Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 2 hours ago, Maithanet said: Introducing the Series 2017 Outlook for A Team You Know Nothing About The 2017 Miami Dolphins Does anybody know anything about the Dolphins? Have they done anything relevant since Dan Marino retired? I know Ndonteventryandspellit Suh plays for them. Is he still good? I think he's overrated. Maybe he should change his name to Overrated Suh. Life ain't easy for a boy named Suh, doubly so when nobody can spell your first name. Presumably there are some receivers that play for Miami? But I don't do fantasy football, so I can't remember who they are. But Jay Ajayi, he's good, right? I remember he had some sweet highlights, could run through the field like a fish through water. Get it? Yes I know dolphins aren't fish, but "like a dolphin through water" sounds ridiculous. Ryan Tannehill is still their quarterback, but I don't know if that is a good thing or not. The fact that every year is apparently "his big year" indicates that he sucks. I'm going to go ahead and assume that he'll have another lackluster year and Dolphins fans will be wondering if this is "the big year" when they finally get rid of him. I hear his wife is hot? I don't really care about that sort of thing, but it's still kind of amazing that this sort of information filters through the detritus that is NFL news. Presumably there are some other players also, but I don't know who they are. Dolphins fans everywhere will have to hope that they are suddenly very good at football, but everyone else knows it's not going to matter because the Patriots are probably going to win the division by Thanksgiving. Join in everybody! What can you tell us about a team you don't know anything about? Jarvis Landry is their top receiver, but he seemed to take a bit of a step back last year with the emergence of Jay Ajayi. He disappeared during the middle of the season after Ajayi had his back to back 200 yard rushing games and the Dolphins started running the ball a lot more. He only got a lot of targets when the Dolphins were losing and playing from behind. Ajayi is an interesting young back, but about half his yards came in 3 games. I had Landry and Ajayi on some of my fantasy teams last year. Doubt I'll pick up Landry this year, unless I can get him for cheap, but probably will consider Ajayi. If the Dolphins are projected to be really bad this year, Landry might be OK though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 The reason Landry was a good fantasy WR before whatshisfuck became coach is because 80 percent of the dolphins passing game was bubblescreens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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