How Crappy was Andalos?

[Corvo the Crow]

Since the Andal savages have kept leaving the place for hundreds of years, Andalos sure must not have been a paradisos on Seven's green planetos, in fact it may have even passed off as one of the seven Hellos, as they were content with settling even shitty places like the Fingers or worse, Dornish deserts. So just how bad was it?

[Craving Peaches]

Glorious Andalos was a paradise, the Andals did not leave it willingly, but to escape the genocidal incestuous ungodly Valyrian savages.

Now that the Valyrians are gone, it is time to return to Andalos. The area has seen substantial Braavosi and Pentoshi investment and with Winter coming and war in Westeros, it is the perfect time for you and your family to settle down in the Land where the Seven-Who-Are-One™ walked the Earth, and where Hugor Hill™ had the Starry Crown™ bestowed upon him by the Father Above™. We have a large selection of properties to chose from, ranging from the fertile Flatlands to the beautiful Velvet Hills (please note Swan Maidens™ not included).

[Craving Peaches]

I would just like to remind everyone that Pentos was an Andal city before the Valyrians culturally appropriated it.

[James Steller]

1 hour ago, Craving Peaches said:

I would just like to remind everyone that Pentos was an Andal city before the Valyrians culturally appropriated it.

Big deal. The Andals culturally appropriated a third of an entire continent. They relished in doing it, too.

Edited July 10, 2023 by James Steller

[Craving Peaches]

Just now, James Steller said:

Big deal. The Andals culturally appropriated a third of an entire continent.

Andals aren't trying to hide the fact that they did do that though. Valyrians were.

Also I think you mean they righteously conquered a third of an entire continent because divine favour was on their side. Clearly the Gods were a-okay with the whole thing or the creepy tree people would have been able to fight back better.

[James Steller]

37 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

Andals aren't trying to hide the fact that they did do that though. Valyrians were.

When do the Valyrians hide what they do? They boast of their conquests all the time. They justify appalling actions because they claim to be better than everyone else. I’d say the Andals and Valyrians have a great deal in common in that regard.

And yeah, whatever gods do exist in this universe, they should absolutely be loathed rather than loved. 

[Craving Peaches]

9 minutes ago, James Steller said:

When do the Valyrians hide what they do? They boast of their conquests all the time. They justify appalling actions because they claim to be better than everyone else.

There is a conspiracy to obscure the true origins of Pentos. It is lead by the Valyrian-created Magisters of Pentos.

10 minutes ago, James Steller said:

And yeah, whatever gods do exist in this universe, they should absolutely be loathed rather than loved. 

I want to like the Trees. I really do. But I get the feeling they, or at least Bloodraven, is evil.

[James Steller]

10 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

 

I want to like the Trees. I really do. But I get the feeling they, or at least Bloodraven, is evil.

Bloodraven is absolutely evil. I’m guessing that him becoming the three eyed crow is him atoning for all the evil he did in his life. I just hope that the books don’t try to make him some kind of hero, though. He committed some of the most despicable acts in the story.

Edited July 10, 2023 by James Steller

[Corvo the Crow]

1 hour ago, Craving Peaches said:

Also I think you mean they righteously conquered a third of an entire continent because divine favour was on their side. Clearly the Gods were a-okay with the whole thing or the creepy tree people would have been able to fight back better.

Indeed. Just as they saw fit Renly’s untimely demise. Whether it was due to them choosing Stannis as their divine champion or just like the FoT7’s real life counterpart that homosexuality is a grievous sin(that is unless you are a septon of course, septons can diddle boys all they like without getting smitten), I can’t tell.

Edited July 10, 2023 by Corvo the Crow

[Craving Peaches]

27 minutes ago, Corvo the Crow said:

Just as they saw fit Renly’s untimely demise

Incorrect. That was obviously the work of a demon. I am convinced R'hlorr is complete evil. Stannis was duped. Melisandre was probably duped. Sorry.

[Corvo the Crow]

9 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

Incorrect. That was obviously the work of a demon. I am convinced R'hlorr is complete evil. Stannis was duped. Melisandre was probably duped. Sorry.

So were the seven powerless to defend Renly?

[Craving Peaches]

Just now, Corvo the Crow said:

So were the seven powerless to defend Renly?

It's because Renly said he would pray but he didn't because he was having fun with Loras instead 

[Alester Florent]

Just now, Corvo the Crow said:

So were the seven powerless to defend Renly?

Renly's camp and person weren't warded against supernatural assassins because nobody imagined there was such a threat. But we know that it is possible to keep shadows out with warding magic, as at Storm's End. It would be interesting to see if a shadow assassin would be effective against an armoured Lord Royce. So if Renly had foreseen something like this he could have got a priest of the Seven to perform a warding ritual or blessing which might have worked in protecting himself.

None of the Westerosi gods seem to directly intervene in human affairs without being specifically requested by a human agent to do so. The Old Gods may be an exception (gifting the Starks the direwolves, for instance) but it's not clear that the Old Gods are actually gods at all, rather than just a network of old greenseers.

[Craving Peaches]

Just now, Alester Florent said:

Renly's camp and person weren't warded against supernatural assassins because nobody imagined there was such a threat. But we know that it is possible to keep shadows out with warding magic, as at Storm's End. It would be interesting to see if a shadow assassin would be effective against an armoured Lord Royce. So if Renly had foreseen something like this he could have got a priest of the Seven to perform a warding ritual or blessing which might have worked in protecting himself.

None of the Westerosi gods seem to directly intervene in human affairs without being specifically requested by a human agent to do so. The Old Gods may be an exception (gifting the Starks the direwolves, for instance) but it's not clear that the Old Gods are actually gods at all, rather than just a network of old greenseers.

An alternative explanation is that Renly was vulnerable because his rainbow guard wasn't complete. If I recall correctly he was missing an indigo guard (it does not appear Loras was wearing indigo armour).

[Corvo the Crow]

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Edited July 30, 2023 by Corvo the Crow

[Craving Peaches]

Just now, Corvo the Crow said:

He was so busy picking up Loras’ flower now he’s pushing up the daisies.

Great foreshadowing come to think of it.

But are you absolutely sure Renly is dead?:

• We never see the body

• People have survived worse

• Loras says he buried him but no one actually pays attention to these details

• There was some wacky numerology thing going on 

• I really want Renly to be alive 

[Corvo the Crow]

5 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

But are you absolutely sure Renly is dead?:

• We never see the body

• People have survived worse

• Loras says he buried him but no one actually pays attention to these details

• There was some wacky numerology thing going on 

• I really want Renly to be alive 

Are we even sure if it was truly Renly? What if real Renly died at the siege of SE and someone switched him without Stannis noticing? Neither of the Big B boys were too caring of their little brother so it is possible that someone bought and conditioned a Baratheon looking westerosi boy to think himself as Renly and they didn’t even notice.

Edited July 10, 2023 by Corvo the Crow

[Alester Florent]

9 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

An alternative explanation is that Renly was vulnerable because his rainbow guard wasn't complete. If I recall correctly he was missing an indigo guard (it does not appear Loras was wearing indigo armour).

I think it was complete by his standards: he made no distinction between indigo and violet and just called them both "purple", freeing up the Lord Commander spot for Loras to wear a multicoloured cloak. He had held one spot open for Barristan but that was taken by Brienne.

Quote

Are we even sure if it was truly Renly? What if real Renly died at the siege and someone switched him without Stannis noticing? Neither of the Big B boys were too caring of their little brother so it is possible that someone bought and conditioned a Baratheon looking westerosi boy to think himself as Renly.

Renly is an anagram of Lenyr, which is a Valyrian name. Evidently he was baby-swapped with Viserys at birth and the real Renly was sent into exile where he was killed by Khal Drogo. The Renly who died at Storm's End was therefore the rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms.

[Craving Peaches]

12 minutes ago, Corvo the Crow said:

Are we even sure if it was truly Renly?

True, it might actually be a decoy - remember how similar Gendry looked to Renly? What if one of Robert's bastards was serving as a body double in case of assassination? This would also explain why Renly in AGoT has green eyes but Renly in ACoK has blue eyes - Renly in ACoK is not the real Renly!

[SaffronLady]

9 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said:

What if one of Robert's bastards was serving as a body double in case of assassination?

Robert is 15 years older than Renly, this might actually work.