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You know you've been reading too much ASoIaF when...


Ser Spidey

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I often find myself spelling things as they are spelled in the books rather than in real life. Ser instead of sir, or maester instead of master, or Jaime instead of Jamie. And as has been mentioned I say mayhaps a lot. Between that and my tendency to quote Star Wars lines I think everybody at work thinks I'm nuts...

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I often find myself spelling things as they are spelled in the books rather than in real life. Ser instead of sir, or maester instead of master, or Jaime instead of Jamie. And as has been mentioned I say mayhaps a lot. Between that and my tendency to quote Star Wars lines I think everybody at work thinks I'm nuts...

Is maester really a misspelling? I always thought it was pronounced "may-ster."

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You know you've been reading too much A Song of Ice and Fire when....

1. After every purchase, you say "A Lannister always pays his debts."

2. Whenever someone pulls out a credit card, you ask "Was that gained by the Iron Price?"

3. You refer to California as Dorne.

4. You believe the Starks hail from Canada.

5. You get annoyed that the Lord of the Rings blatantly copied the relationship between Jon and Sam.

6. You refer to the Pope as the High Septon.

7. You think Mass would be a lot more interesting with a flaming sword.

8. You attempt to settle parking tickets via trial by combat.

9. Any blonde children immediately become suspect.

10. You vote by whichever candidate will support a Crime Policy involving "taking the black."

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When you read on here that there is a facebook page for Robb Stark and then you go search for it and become irrationally upset that you can't find it and become his friend.

I just did this, but it was worth it because I joined the group,

I Pledge My Life and Lands to House Stark of Winterfell

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You use catchlines from ASOIAF... and you live in russia. And nobody you know really understands English. You annoy people when they ask you for something and you reply "would that I could, would that I could".

You read some harmless medieval fantasy, like, say, Brother Cadfael (formulaic middle ages detectives), and keep expecting shit to hit the fan, good guys to turn out traitors and slaughter everyone including lead character. You catch yourself expecting the worst, and have to remind yourself that this is not ASOIAF.

Whatever you are reading, you keep expecting some evil, masterful plot of villains that nobody saw coming to ruin plans of the good guys and lead to their bloody death. When it doesn't happen, you feel cheated and whole situation feels unreal. You put the worst spin on everything - if parents try to separate lovers, you guess that they may be right - how high are the chances that dreamguy will turn out to be psychopath and start beating his beloved bloody?

Good point about "ser". It also looks closer to how we spell "sir" in Russia, so it just looks more natural to me.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I had another "You've been reading too much ASoIaF..." moment the other day. I got pissed off at some moron who ran a red light and almost ran into me and I actually said "The Others take you!" out loud. Thankfully I was alone in my truck at the time...

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I work in a call center, and one of our customers yesterday was named Braden Frey. I was like "wtf, did the starks and freys finally have a marriage and produce an offspring?" IDK, Braden sounds like a Stark name to me.

I keep my eye out for ASoIaF names at my work. That's the first close one I've come across, though I'm sure there are some Starks out there. I swear, if I ever come across someone named Cersei, I'm quitting my job.

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Actually it is may-ster, but I pronounce it my-ster anyways.

Too much ASOIAF? You're looking at fan art and come across one of Sandor Clegane and notice his burned side is on the wrong side and comment about it.

Actually, all the fan art has the burns on the wrong side. That's the side I imagine it on though, burns on the left side are always cooler. Look at Two Face.

When watching The Dark Knight, all I could think about was how Sandor would completely take Two-Face apart. (Is Twoface one word, or hyphenated, or neither?)

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Good point about "ser". It also looks closer to how we spell "sir" in Russia, so it just looks more natural to me.

I propose that we ASOIAF readers change the spelling of "sir" to "ser", because "ser" makes more sense. Not only should you spell it "ser", you should spell it "ser" openly and loudly. Spellings can change, and it starts somewhere.

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you spend the majority of your dinner at a nice restaurant arguing the finer points of Robert's Rebellion with your friends the way most people argue over the election.

mind you we'd just come from 'Table 9' at our friend's wedding.

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