irishpisano

This one line would have improved the scene phenomenally

23 posts in this topic

What 1 line of dialogue should have been inserted into what scene to kick that scene up to 11.......... or even 12?

 

Original:

Arya is being chased by the Waif.

She ducks into her "bedroom" and picks up Needle.

She slices the candle.  The room goes dark.

 

Mine:

Arya is being chased by the Waif.

She ducks into her "bedroom" and picks up Needle.

She holds Needle to her face in meditation.

She whispers, "Not today."

She slices the candle.  The room goes dark.

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When Jon beheads Janos Slynt

He says: Olly fetch my sword [Or something like that]

My version would adhere to book cannon. 

Jon should have said: Edd, fetch me a block.

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Stannis: "Kneel before me, swear your loyalty and you'll rise as Jon Stark Lord of Winterfell"

Jon: "Okay sounds good"

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7 hours ago, irishpisano said:

Original:

Arya is being chased by the Waif.

She ducks into her "bedroom" and picks up Needle.

She slices the candle.  The room goes dark.

Arya is being chased by the Waif.

She ducks into her "bedroom" and picks up Needle.

She holds Needle to her face in meditation.

She whispers, "Life is like a box chocolates."

She slices the candle.  The room goes dark.

Fixed!

Edited by Deadlines? What Deadlines?

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4 hours ago, Stannis is the man....nis said:

Stannis: "Kneel before me, swear your loyalty and you'll rise as Jon Stark Lord of Winterfell"

Jon: "Okay sounds good"

I am dying I am laughing so hard right now.

 

For me it would have been any of the scenes where Jon addresses the north men either individually or as a group.

Northern Lord:  "Tell me why I should follow a man who deserted the Night's Watch?  I should execute you as Ned Stark would have done."

Davos:  "Pardon me, my Lord, now I am not a learned man, but the Night's Watch vow is taken until death.  Jon Snow didn't desert the Night's Watch - he was murdered, butchered by his own men, only to be resurrected by magic because it is his destiny and purpose to lead us against the great enemy that is marching south.  I know that sounds fucked, but send a raven or go to the wall yourself and they will tell you what they all witnessed.  Jon Snow is not a deserter, but he is going to fight for you and your people."

But knowing D&D they'd probably have Jon cut off Davos and just say "We don't have time to discuss this."

Edited by Lucius Lovejoy
Spelling corrected

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Bronn: No thanks, I prefer good pussy. I mean, bad pussy, I don't know exactly what that means, but everything I can imagine sounds unpleasant. Look me up after you get whatever it is cured, OK? Meanwhile, thanks for the antidote.

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Tyrion (as he's knocking over the Dornish piece on the strategy map): Sarella Sand is going to inherit, and any of the three likely regents will be strongly counseling neutrality. I'm afraid Dorne won't be fighting for anyone in this war. Hey, look, I just explained that in only 4 seconds instead of leaving my Queen and all of our viewers at home—er, our Court—having to guess.

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Jorah: OK, so we've been waiting on this frozen island for a whole day, and it looks like we've got a long wait still ahead of us. So, can you maybe tell us now what we didn't understand before? Would killing the Night King not kill the other White Walkers? Or can we just not kill him the same way we kill normal Walkers? Or is there something else we have to do before we can kill him, some prophecy or something? Or is it just that you really wanted the Khaleesi to come save us, even though we could just win the whole war right now and then just walk back to the Wall? I mean, I get that last one, she is pretty hot when she climbs off a dragon, and that could be a nice bonding moment, but in my experience, the ladies tend to be impressed when you save all of humanity, so it might be worth trying.

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5 hours ago, Wizz-The-Smith said:

When Jon beheads Janos Slynt

He says: Olly fetch my sword [Or something like that]

My version would adhere to book cannon. 

Jon should have said: Edd, fetch me a block.

Yeah, i like the build-up and the book line better, but it worked in the show since they led Janos to the block. He could have said "Take him to the block". That could have worked.

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Cersei: Every since I granted the Stormlands to— [gets cut off]

That would be enough for me. Or even just stop listing Stannis Baratheon as the current leader of the Stormlands in the HBO viewer's guides.

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What about removing one line instead of adding one?

Walder Frey: Edmure is back in a cell. Can't go killing my son by law. It wouldn't be right.

Jaime took Riverrun by promising Edmure a comfortable life as a hostage. In the books, Edmure helped the Blackfish escape, but Jaime kept his promise anyway. On the show, Edmure ordered his own guards to capture the Blackfish for Jaime, but Jaime reneged on his promise anyway.

Why?

I realize Jaime isn't supposed to be as far along on his redemption arc and it has to be dragged out to the end of S7. And Jaime being dishonorable because Cersei told him to, or to protect Cersei, OK, I could accept that. But Jaime being this dishonorable for absolutely no reason? That's worse than he was in S1. Why did we even have the Brienne and Vargo stories?

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10 hours ago, Deadlines? What Deadlines? said:

Yeah, i like the build-up and the book line better, but it worked in the show since they led Janos to the block. He could have said "Take him to the block". That could have worked.

Agreed, it worked fine enough.  I just really like that line, it would have been a nice moment for book readers.  There were a few more occasions where the show changed a perfectly good line of dialogue that slightly annoyed me, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.  As you suggest, it's a small gripe but something that stuck out to me at the time and would've made the scene far better imho.    

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Bran:  You looked beautiful the night you got raped.

Sansa:  STFU cripple or I'll throw you through another window.

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tbh, the Medieval Fun Park bad lip reading of season 1 is the best example of this.......

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The best changes to the dialogue in this show would have been:

Every Sand Snake Scene

Tyene: <silence> 

Obara: <silence>

Nymeria: <silence> 

Sweet beautiful silence from those three. Upon reflection it was pretty damm poetic that Euron killed two and lead the other one its death. We finally got the silence we deserved.

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1 hour ago, jcmontea said:

The best changes to the dialogue in this show would have been:

Every Sand Snake Scene

Tyene: <silence> 

Obara: <silence>

Nymeria: <silence> 

Sweet beautiful silence from those three. Upon reflection it was pretty damm poetic that Euron killed two and lead the other one its death. We finally got the silence we deserved.

Euron is huge on silence.............  (see what i did there?)

 

 

Yes, the entire "MAMA" scene was one of the worst sequences of dialogue in the show.  Even Ros had better dialogue when she was alive, and her character was far less important.

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3 minutes ago, irishpisano said:

Euron is huge on silence.............  (see what i did there?)

 

 

Yes, the entire "MAMA" scene was one of the worst sequences of dialogue in the show.  Even Ros had better dialogue when she was alive, and her character was far less important.

Mama was horrible. I almost thought that scene was meta trolling from the showrunners. Let us remind you why you hate them before we give you relief. The only saving grace is their actual screen time was trivial. I think Ross got more screen time then them. 

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39 minutes ago, jcmontea said:

Mama was horrible. I almost thought that scene was meta trolling from the showrunners. Let us remind you why you hate them before we give you relief. The only saving grace is their actual screen time was trivial. I think Ross got more screen time then them. 

agreed...

i also think their characters became victims of the accelerating plot this season, no time for development........

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