Piper Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Can you really be a lemming by yourself? So long as you're choosing death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 11 - Everyone forgets about Klan (except Richard because he is Alwasy Right and Brilliant while People are Stupid; watch me carve a statue. Goats rule and Peace Protestors Chose Death by not getting out of the way of my Sword of Truth, the morons.) I've corrected your #11, your old #11 (Kahlan Probably gets Almost-raped) would naturally be the sub-title of all the books. So a note for everyone who's on wikipedia and loves playing chicken with common sense - I've created a non-official 'lemming of discord' userbox. Paste the following onto your user page and other lemmings will know and love you. Note that I have no idea what the greater wikimmunity will think of all this and I'm currently banned from editing for a couple days so take it with a grain of salt. {{Userbox-r|black|teal|[[image:Lemming.jpg|60px]]|'''This user is a lemming of discord'''.}} Incidentally, now acceptings suggestions for different colour choices. Viewable here, just underneath Darwin and the ugly red box. ...he can also wear his decorative armor over it (hardened plates made from the jawbones of little girls with the rough bits cushioned by the testicles of everyone who ever cut in front of him in line) and the agiel that is permanently lodged up his arse... You forgot his Codpiece of Unassailable Certainty - looks like a foot-long metal kielbasa, with Truthy written on the side. The Yeard's crotch is more honest than his mouth. Does anyone else find the pictures attached to the article more than a little disturbing? Perhaps Kirkus has a reason why they printed it: To provide more proof to the to the world what an utter douchebag TG is. Or the editor is a secret Lemming of Discord and thought we were slowing down. Conspiracies surround the Yeard, not hard when his readers don't seem to understand what a source is and lack both common sense and critical thought. Seriously. I read this in the newspaper the other day....Just say no! Will, your post was awesome. Have a dry-hump Props also to WLU for another fantastic rant. Celerific! Your praise is ambrosia to me, like pure namble-jizz. I do love to bitch. Jaxom, I think it's obvious that Tairy's got a man on the inside at Cirkus reviews. Some kind of objectivist sleeper cell that's infiltrated it and is slipping Tairy crap past the editors. They must be warned. Your statement contradicts mine. One of us must die. Look, it's obvious they did it on purpose, they can't be that stupid, can they? I've got a friend who can't remember the scene where Richard murders a group of unarmed protestors. Thus if you're still looking for it. Doesn't have the page number, but does have the book. I am appalled. Look at the reader's list, specifically the first three. That's a load of shit, it's like having Mein Kampf and Man's Search For Meaning as your two favourite books. They're either being funny or readers are pimping their list to make themselves look good. Myshkin's got it right, it's a bunch of sock/meatpuppets. A number of people are stupid. or objectivists. or scientologists, or all of the above. Everything I've read about Objectivists and Yeardifans really makes me think of them as a combination of Creationists and Scientologists - all the quote mining and deliberate, self-serving dishonesty of Creationism combined with the cult of personality and whitewashing of Scientology. People are fucking stupid, man. We can't really mock Tairy unless we mock the masses of mind-zombies following his works devotedly, doing things like memorizing passages from WFR as though it was a bible, remembering objectivist speeches, and being Mystar. Unlike the mind of the Yeard, I can separate the actions of a drug lord from the actions of a junkie. I hate my SoT fans on an individual basis, rather than hating the whole mouth-breathing lot of them. Douches. And that's not a contradiction. Is there some sort of trophy or prize that we could bestow on the artist, just to let her know that she isn't alone in world. Would a gilded Namble cock send the wrong message? And it would be called... The Tairy. The award ceremony would involve the insertion of the trophy to an orifice of their choice. The interesting thing is not the list itself, but the fact that the O'ists beat out the Scientologists both for number one position and in total number of books foisted onto the list. Suggesting that the Objectivists have even less of a life than the Scientologists. Or the Cult of Scientology doesn't allow internet access unless you've reached "Operating Thetan Level 8" and therefore sunk too much money into the CoS to ever admit how gullible you are. Also, 3 out of the top 10 non-fiction books are about O'ism, and the Dianetics is, of course, in spot number two. There is at least one other book there which looks suspiciously Scientologyish, but I can't say for sure. They fucked up that list - Dianetics and Objectivism are fiction. Ew, reading over the list - Beck, Hancock, I'm surprised the people who voted for this can even read. See, this is what happens when I'm blocked from editing wikipedia. Aren't you glad I split my obsessions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Will, I sent the artist a note. Yes, I'm in devart. Fav'd the damn comics. I wish I could turn it into an avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelp Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 What I want to know, is there any way we can set up an O vs S deathmatch to determine who is really the king mind altering wacky belief system with its basis in popular fiction? Whoever wins, we lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danro Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 These never ending Goodkind threads are kind of counterproductive. First they made me resolve to avoid that objectivist claptrap like the plague, but now I'm actually contemplating reading WFR. You know, looking into the abyss and all that... Am I doomed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I recommend you start drinking heavily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danro Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I recommend you start drinking heavily. I'm starting tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I'm starting tonight! Assuming you start drinking heavily tonight, and keep drinking heavily every night...you should be ready to read WFR in about 2012. You still probably won't be able to read Faith of the Fallen, but thats a good thing not a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelp Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 These never ending Goodkind threads are kind of counterproductive. First they made me resolve to avoid that objectivist claptrap like the plague, but now I'm actually contemplating reading WFR. You know, looking into the abyss and all that... Am I doomed? To brave the pages of SoT, you have a number of options: - a padded room, balls of steel, an unholy amount of absinthe, and a number of free liver transplants - the ability to beat the abyss to death using a namble cock - an army of peace procesters whom you have to sacrifice, chanting "Ia, Ia, Lord Rahl fthagn!" On a sidenote, why has no Lemming of Discord put her up as a counterpoint to Richard's statue of Life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 GOODKIND XXIII: Productive through Counterproductivity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I kinda like GOODKIND XXIII: I recommend you start drinking heavily. Unless this has already been used in the past (I wouldn't be surprised). Still 90 posts to go though so I guess no reason to try to come up with thread titles yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 - a padded room, balls of steel, an unholy amount of absinthe, and a number of free liver transplants I had balls of steel but they made walking hard. So I ate them. - the ability to beat the abyss to death using a namble cock The abyss likes it. That would be enabling. - an army of peace procesters whom you have to sacrifice, chanting "Ia, Ia, Lord Rahl fthagn!" Excellent Lovecraft reference. On a sidenote, why has no Lemming of Discord put her up as a counterpoint to Richard's statue of Life? Is it just me, or does that look like a paste from one of the WhiteWolf games circa 1995? GOODKIND XXIII: Productive through Counterproductivity! I like it. Is it just me, or is there a marked tendency to push the naming of new threads further and further back? We used to debate titles around post 380 or so, now we're on 310 and the suggestions are already starting. Goodkind XXIII: Don't light it on fire, you just make it angrier. ETA: Current people reading the thread are WLU, Will and Word. An unholy trinity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danro Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 Is it just me, or does that look like a paste from one of the WhiteWolf games circa 1995? It's death, according to Neil Gaiman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Will Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 I would like to advance a minor Quote of the Day. I came upon this passage while trying to make my way through Phantom a little while ago (I still haven't finished that damned book), and something else I read recently brought it back to mind. I'm sharing it, not because it contains any obvious or gross stupidity, and not because it adds much to the lexicon of Yeardian Ideas of Wonder (unless you count knitting needles used as a weapon of evil, or possible the unutterable wickedness of camp followers), but because I don't think it has appeared as a QOTD yet and because it represents Goodkind at what is, for me, probably his worst. (Also, I have some editorialising to do about it at the end). I think it's probably short enough that fair use concerns won't apply. So, the scene is this, Jebra (whose role earlier in the series I forget completely, but she must have had one because the author seems to assume that we know who she is) is describing the conquest and subsequent occupation of Galea by the Imperial Order. She pauses in her narrative to describe, in careful detail, a group of "camp followers" that she observes. “As I made my way back and forth from the outposts I had to pass through this awful battlefield. The hills where this final engagement had taken place were dotted with hundreds of people slowly making their way among the dead, methodically picking through their belongings. I later learned that they were a small army of people who trailed behind the Imperial Order troops—camp followers—living off the scraps that the Order soldiers left in their wake. These human vultures pawed through the dead soldiers' pockets and such, making their living on death and destruction. “I recall one older woman in a dingy white shawl coming upon a Galean soldier who was still alive. Among other wounds, his leg had been gashed open to the bone. His hands trembled with the endless, solitary effort of holding the massive wound closed. It seemed a miracle that he was even still alive. “As the old woman in the shawl pulled at his clothes, looking for anything valuable, he begged her for a sip of water. She ignored him as she tore open his shirt to see if he had a neck chain with a purse, as some soldiers did. In a weak, hoarse voice he again pleaded for a sip of water. She instead pulled a long knitting needle from her belt and, as he lay helpless, shoved it in the man's ear. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth with the effort of twisting the long metal needle around inside his brains. His arms flinched and then went still. She drew the length of her knitting needle back out and wiped it off on his pant leg as she muttered a complaint that that would keep him quiet. She replaced her knitting needle in her belt and went back to rifling through his clothes. It struck me how well practiced she had seemed at the grisly task. “I saw other camp followers use a rock to bash in the head of any man they found alive just to be certain he wouldn't surprise them by striking out when they were busy hunting for any loot. Some of these scavengers didn't bother to do anything to the wounded man unless he could still use his hands and tried to fend them off; if he was alive, but unable to resist, they merely helped themselves to what they could find and then moved on. But there were people who lifted a fist in the air and shouted in triumph whenever they found a fallen soldier still alive, one they could dispatch, as if doing so made them a hero. Occasionally there were those who came upon the helpless wounded and enjoyed torturing them in the most ghastly manner, amused by the fact that the men could neither run nor fight them off. It was only a matter of a few more days, though, before all the wounded survivors were dead, either from succumbing to their wounds, or finally being dispatched by the camp followers…†Isn't it beautiful? It's the Yeard himself at his ever sympathetic and subtle best. (Seriously, was this man raped by a camp follower at some point in his life. This is the second outpouring of outrage we've had against them in the series). Now, Goodkind's love of lumping people into groups and painting them as disgusting has always bothered me deeply, but this one revolted me more than usual. What set me off is a book called "Man's Search for Meaning". For those of you who haven't read it, it is an attempt to discuss the psychological effects of Nazi concentration camps on their occupants written by a psychologist who survived the concentration camps himself. The book talks about all of the ways that people deal with intense and prolonged physical hardship combined with oppressive psychological realities. Some of the answers probably wouldn't surprise Goodkind. Apathy is one of the big ones, and the book also talks about the need for a willingness to do whatever it takes to survive, and the fact that constant and institutionalised violence tends to lead the victims toward violence as well. If Goodkind were reading this I'm sure he'd be nodding his head at all this. He might even giggle a little while a small bead of spittle rolls down his face. What Mr. Goodkind would probably not expect is that humour arrives even before apathy and that instances of generosity were not unheard of. It makes me furious that Goodkind prattles about the nobility of the human spirit while he obviously considers most humans to be only two steps above dung beetles. People are stupid, he says, but that's just the beginning of it. He considers that people are easily lead, that they quickly fall into the most hideous deprivations when deprived of worthy role models, that the base setting of humanity is greed, and hatred, and envy, and God help us all if we're ever caught in a room with a camp follower with a knitting needle. I don't mean to equate Goodkind's camp followers with holocaust victims. Goodkind, of course, ensures that we cannot. The idea of these camp followers as victims is so absurd as to be laughable. All I mean to say is that there was more that was uplifting and worthy, more that spoke to the fundamental potential and wonder of human beings in Auschwitz - where many people might, quite rightly, expect to find nothing of the sort - than there is in the whole of the Sword of Truth. I know this probably goes without saying, but I felt like I had to say it anyway. Thank you all for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 *snif* *snif* I smell straw... It teaches us a good life lesson - camp followers, or "poor people" are evil. Every single one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piper Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 *snif* *snif* I smell straw... It teaches us a good life lesson - camp followers, or "poor people" are evil. Every single one of them. How are they evil? Isn't killing people so you can get stuff for yourself choosing life? If the soldiers can't fend for themselves, aren't they death choosers, and thus evil? [head explodes] I'd make fun of his morality more, but I can't say I even understand it. Anyhoo, I'm working on a Neuromancer / Sword of Truth parody, should be ready for TG23, stay tuned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 How are they evil? Isn't killing people so you can get stuff for yourself choosing life? If the soldiers can't fend for themselves, aren't they death choosers, and thus evil? [head explodes] I'd make fun of his morality more, but I can't say I even understand it. Anyhoo, I'm working on a Neuromancer / Sword of Truth parody, should be ready for TG23, stay tuned. You make a good point, LPOP. I didn't realize the sheer ebil-ness of those dead soldiers. Obviously, all dead people are immoral as they have chosen death over life. It was silly of me not to notice that on first reading, but the Yeard is a subtle one, and only the most enligtened can understand his inner-workings. Or thing-risings. I do have a question - if the Yeard wants us to drink the kool-aid, should we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I do have a question - if the Yeard wants us to drink the kool-aid, should we? I just pictured Gratch walking through a wall and saying "Oh yeah!". In answer to your question, I think it's unwise to do anything the Yeard wants us to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 How are they evil? Isn't killing people so you can get stuff for yourself choosing life? If the soldiers can't fend for themselves, aren't they death choosers, and thus evil? [head explodes] That only applies if you're not poor. If you are, then you can do no good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 That only applies if you're not poor. If you are, then you can do no good. What if you are poor, but have big boobs and are willing to torture? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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