Knight of Ashes Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 One day, HC finally got bit by a zombie and turned into one but friends and family didn't notice any difference in his appearance or behavior so life, such as it is, carried on as usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 "Do the zombie chicken! Do the zombie chicken!" yelled a young KoA flapping his arms stiffly and dancing around with his knees locked, bending from the waist.His older sister looked down her nose at him disapprovingly, "That's FUNKY chicken, warthead!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 (the zombie chicken might make a good dance, tho. I'd like to see the kids come up with that. "br- brock- brains!-bock!") Honeyed Chicken decided to try speed dating recently. When he arrived at the event, he had to check the conference room location again, because he thought he had accidentally walked into a Weight Watchers meeting. But no, Conference Room A. He was in the right place. But my there were a lot of husky guys and gals in the room, hovering around a table of hors d'oeuvres and desserts. Nobody looked like a love match, but you can't judge a book by it's cover, right? After an hour of 5 minute "dates", in between ringing bells and spilled cocktails, HC was pretty sure this had been a waste of his time. The next big girl sat down, read his description and said, "Your first speed dating event, huh? Tell me, what has surprised you about this evening?" Without missing a beat HC said "The strength of those chairs!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 BS0 has teamed up with a teen rebel and a cheerleader in order to wage battle against formless slime!And zombies! Don't forget zombies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 In a remote castle in the hills of Albania, Knight of Ashes has set up a secret laboratory. Inspired by the story of Frankenstein, he is attempting to be a creator of life himself. His current prpgress is unknown.In other news, local Albanians have been sending in strange reports of Aubergines walking around like human beings. Investigations continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 Florence's Machine dreams of entering Heartbreak Hill in the lead pack of the Boston Marathon. In her fantasy she maintains a brutal pace up the long incline, leaving her competitors gasping in her wake. From there she cruises to the finish line and wears the wreath of victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 HC is a member of the Flat Earth Society, even though he doesn't really believe the world is flat; he joined cause he desperately wants to look interesting and this was the best he could do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (report from the Randomness Not Being Random Department, I just posted a share of an Aimee Mann song which lyrics go "There was a time not long ago, I dreamt the world was flat." serendipity, coincidence, deja vu? call it what you will) Sure he laughs at conspiracy theorists such as The Flat Earth Society, reptilian alien overlords and moon landing "truthers", but Knight of Ashes has extensively researched the power possibly generated by the "buttered cat paradox." Who's the pseudoscientist now? Edited for: and zombies! I forgot the zombies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (report from the Randomness Not Being Random Department, I just posted a share of an Aimee Mann song which lyrics go "There was a time not long ago, I dreamt the world was flat." serendipity, coincidence, deja vu? call it what you will) A similar example I saw the Rape of Europa recently and it was the first time I've heard of the Monuments Men. Then a few days later, I see a movie poster for The Monuments Men. Then, an article is mentioned on the cover of the upcoming Vanity Fair about Nazi art stash recovered."FEEEEEEELINGS!!!! owowow.....FEEEELINGSSSS!!!! My feelings of....LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!FEEEEEEEEEELLLIIINGS!!!!....owowow.... FEEEEEEEEEELINGS!!!!!! owowow.....My feelings of .......LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!" warbled BS0 in the shower so the other inmates will leave her alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Knight of Ashes hopes to become the first person to own a house on Mars. He lives the dream of raising a herd of space cows, space chickens and space pigs (and space zombies!) and growing space crops. He hopes to achieve this dream by 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 FM's favorite Simpsons character is Cletus the slack-jawed yokel. She has a poster of him in the bathroom so she can stare lovingly at him while she does her business. She's also been lighting candles to the Stranger in the hopes that he wouldn't be the next Simpsons character killed.Because she doesn't want him to turn into a zombie!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 KoA is stocking up on Peeps (chicks or bunnies) for the upcoming Easter season.But as usual, KoA has to be different . :rolleyes:His are zombie apocalypse peeps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (KoA keeps zombie apocalypse Peeps because they're like Twinkies and keep forever) Speaking of zombie apocalypse, Honeyed Chicken is a prepper for the upcoming attack upon humans by an army of the dead. He keeps a chicken coop above the pool in his back yard, where he grows algae and raises tilapia. Mrs Chicken grows vegetables and fruit in the backyard and cans and preserves whole meals, like casseroles and lasagna. Watch out for HC's kiddo, too- he's been teaching Chickee firearm use and safety, and that little crumb snatcher is one hell of a shot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape Jackanape Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 BS once found a horoscope that advised her not to get out of bed that day. She clipped it, saves it, & invokes it everytime she doesn't feel like going to work, school, etc. "My horoscope said", she shrugs the next day at angry bosses, teachers, & coworkers.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 In the 1980's Formerly Varamyr Sixchins wrote song parodies for Weird Al Yankovic. He wrote several that weren't recorded- A Prince parody, of "When Doves Cry" entitled "When Pigs Fly"; a Salt n Peppa song about breakfast cereal: "Let's Talk About Chex", and a Duran Duran parody about Hammer Horror style zombie movies called "Ghouls on Film." (and a song title to describe this post, a Justin Timberlake parody, "I'm Bringin' Zombies Back") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 The other day, BS0 and I were partnered in bridge.She opened the bidding with three hearts. The player between us passed. I wanted to give BS0 some clear direction about the hand of death I was holding. The dreck was evenly distributed low cards - not even a void to exploit. She would have to carry the whole show with zero help from me, so I bleated out, "pass" in my most pathetic sounding voice.I knew she would translate that has "oh crap, HC has bleep!"Yet when the bidding came back to her she went four hearts.My jaw dropped.What was she doing? Did she have ten hearts or something?Turned out she did not, and we got creamed. Went down four tricks.Since you can only discuss just so much with your partner at table without being gauche, I waited till after to ask, "What was that all about?""Oh, I just wanted to see you sweat a little", she said smirking."Mission accomplished", I replied. (sorry, no zombies in this story.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Honeyed Chicken was walking through town the other day, in a large shoulder to heel flasher-mac with a trilby on his head. The day was foggy, and there was a light drizzle. I passed him first when getting off the bus and we exchanged a polite hello. We passed again as I was leaving the DIY store, saying hello once again. Then once more we passed as I was buying from a fruit stall, then again as I was looking through the library and again when I was buying some DvDs. Finally, returning to my bus, I turned and confronted him where he was stood hiding behind a lampost. "What do you want?!" I criedBizzarely, HC cried out "I knew it, i knew it! Cruella! Cruella! Flee with the dogs!" and promptly dropped to all fours before scuttling off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 FM is working on a life size lego version of the Taj Mahal. Since she doesn't do math, she hasn't figured out yet that the lot she's on is not big enough by a factor of 100. She also hasn't budgeted for time or money so she doesn't know it'll take a small fortune and 20 years to complete at her current pace. While she is figuring that out, her neighbors are too amused & bemused to complain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Speaking of Lego, HC has prepared himself for any future wars by harnessing his enthusiasm for all things Lego. He's built a lego nuclear bunker**, Lego bodyguards, a decoy lego honeyed chicken, and even a lego family in case he gets lonely. "My friends and family may laugh now," he says "but come the War they'll all see I was the smart one!"***sorry guys, no zombie apocolypse :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 14, 2014 Author Share Posted March 14, 2014 "Pudding or grapes?" FM will sometimes ask her customers.They'll look puzzled till the maitre d' comes over and bustles her away.The smell of good food sometimes does this to her. It's a buzz very similar to being high. She gets a little goofy, but is perfectly harmless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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