honeyed chicken Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 BS0 has been known to down a one pound box of Betty Stover Chocolates in a single sitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 HC was sent here from the planet Zondor 'cause his parents thought it was going to explode. It turned out it was just having a minor tremor that didn't even last a minute and didn't even wake the dog."Boy, that was embarrassing" Father Chicken said as Mother Chicken prepared to rent out HC's egg to those less fortunate and make them pay through the nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Knight of Ashes is building a home gym in his family room by stealing pieces of the universal machine from his local 24 Hour Fitness one piece at a time. It's been 2 years, he's almost half done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 There is a member of BS0's writers' group that BS0 has to make an effort to tolerate. Apparently, Princess Twee's (BS0's private nickname for said member)idea of creative writing was to change her name and her ex-boyfriend's and proceed to share what seemed like an endless supply of anecdotes about what a douche he was and how she was sooo over him.During the latest meeting where the writers shared whatever pieces they came up with for a 10-minute writing exercise, BS0 finally snapped when she hears yet another story about "Ella" and "Paul" and what a freak he was. BS0 saw red and seemingly blacked out.When she came to, she found her hands strangling Princess Twee's neck as other members tried to pry her hands away in vain."It was like a grip of adamantium!" the eldest member of the group said (an eighty-year old woman not usually prone to exagerration).To make a long story short, BS0 is now a resident of Arkham Asylum where she begs the doctors and nurses there to tell her the latest chapter in the life of "Ella" and "Paul". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Knight of Ashes holds the Guiness Book of World Records title for Biggest Collection of adult underoos. He has every superhero and TV star ten times over, with every seasonal variation or different update. Ask him to show you them sometime- except don't ask in public- he's been arrested for indecent exposure a few times as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 BS0 is a slinky catburglar who specializes in stealing people's dentures. She can break into the most heavily fortified seniors home with state-of-the-art security system that would put any Swiss bank to shame.Yet, noone knew why she wasted her talents in stealing only dentures. It wasn't until a very impressed but recently deprived of his dentures billionaire asked if she would consider stealing something else that BS0 realized she had never thought of it before. "I was putting my life at risk stealing dentures cause I like the way they sparkle", BS0 said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Knight of Ashes has traveled the world and is quite fluent in obscene hand gestures. He can flip you off while driving, tell you that your mother is a whore, and taunt you from across a room without having to speak a word in over 50 different countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 BS0 wins beauty pageants by demonstrating her talent of being able to comb her eyebrows with her tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Knight of Ashes is a member of a local motorcycle club, and his biker name is Grape Ape- named for his purple Harley Davidson Sportster. He loves the color purple so much (the color, now, not the movie) that his kitchen is decorated in an eggplant motif. Do you know how hard it is to find tea towels with eggplants on them? Hard, I tell ya. Really, really hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Beautiful South is an avid farmer, but is very particulsr with his colours. So, when you visit theor.farm, you'll notice a purple.carrot patch, a lumious yellow cabbage patch, a baby pink leek field, sky blue potatoes, red turnips and mushrooms. All this is very nice, but the idea became.much less acceptable when BS attempted to colour code his.animals... with paint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 ZU-bov! CHEK-ov! ig-NAT-ee-eff! FM called out, and the girls vaulted over the boards onto the ice.Her skaters were only ahead 2-1 and FM was in no mood to risk a loss here. She put her best lines out again and again, not caring how tired they might be.Her ultimate goal of becoming the first woman to coach men in the top league in Russia absolutely depended on complete domination at this level - and the next. Her hope was to jump from the top girls level over to a lower young men's league and work her way up. But all her teams must dominate. A 2-1 win or even 3-1 was as bad as a loss. The committees must look at her work and see that she was too good for her level and promote her.She was not going to let a hot goaltender stand in her way.DUM-kov! She yelled again. Come here! Dumkov waddled over. "Next shift I want you to run into that goalie. Make sure she goes off the ice."Girls hockey it may be, but one could still get hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Honeyed Chicken arrived to the nightclub looking like he was ready for full-contact hockey practice. With shin guards, knee pads, elbow pads and a helmet, he got the strangest looks. That is, until he hit the dancefloor. HC busted out his killer street dance moves, and the crowd went wild. They formed a circle around him and watched him dance for over an hour! Too bad for HC he is such a delicate flower. Despite all of the protective gear and an extensive stretching regime before doing all of that floorwork, he still dislocated his R elbow. But no one can say he doesn't give 110% for his art! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Beautiful South is in fact from the Beautiful North...Pole :cool4: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 FM is very proud of her princess toes and pans to get a ring for each as soon as she can afford them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Honeyed Chicken is a bee keeper. His bee farm extends over several acres of lands, and every bee has been individually named. There's Bee, and Bea, Beatrice, Beezee, Bee II, Bea II, Beatrice II. Beezee II, Bee III, Bea III, Beatrice III, Beezee III...the list goes on. And every morning HC will wander around his extensive bee farm and wish each of his bees good morning. By the time he is finished, its time to begin the round of saying good night to them all. He has a very repetitive life, does HC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 FM sincerely believes the results from the Love Doctor tests and now makes decisions on relationships based on what it says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 :lol: this is supposed to be a thread of lies Knight of Ashes ;)KoA once proposed. To a flamingo. In the middle of a crowded zoo. The local news did a special feature on the ocassion. Sadly, due to laws against polygamy, the proposal was turned down, as the flamingo was already married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Of course Florence's Machine believes in The Love Doctor tests! She's a single cardiologist, of course, and every day when she finishes her rounds and sits down at her office desk, she smiles and says to herself "The Love Doctor is in!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 @KoA: "FM sincerely believes the results from the Love Doctor tests and now makes decisions on relationships based on what it says."KoA - you've been lurking on TTTNE again! ;) (or did you post and I missed it?) While tongue kissing her bf deeply the other night, BS0 accidentally sucked off one of his dental caps. In addition to being very embarrassing, this was very expensive - $1,500.Proving once again that while money can't buy love, it isn't free either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arya kiddin' Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 place In Soviet Russia place reserves HC for lies. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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