MARTIN’S POV & PRONOUN ERRORS in AGoT “PROLOGUE”

[evita mgfs]

FROM MY BOOK OF CLOSE READING ESSAYS:

Deconstructing George R. R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones:

A Collection of Close Readings Inspired by Passages from the “Prologue” and POVs in the First Novel of A Song of Ice and Fire Series

1. “Prologue”
   

1. “What’s Past is Prologue”
   

In the publishing world, opening novels with a “Prologue” has become a bane of agents representing authors who misuse its intended purpose. The result is that readers routinely skip over prologues, at least according to Kristen Lamb in her blog “Warrior Writers”:

“The problem with the prologue is it has kind of gotten a bad rap over the years, especially with agents. They generally hate them. Why? . . . Because of the steady misuse of prologues, most readers skip them. Thus, the question of whether or not the prologue is even considered the beginning of your novel can become a gray area . . .” [https://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2010/09/27/7-deadly-sins-of-prologues-great-novel-beginnings-part-2].

Obviously, best-selling author George R. R. Martin does not ascribe to Lamb’s theorizing. Owning an impressive resume of published works himself, Martin knows the rules and makes a conscientious decision to break them when necessary, but not without reason. For example, Martin’s initial “Prologue” in A Game of Thrones could be Carol Benedict’s ideal model in her article “Story Elements: Using a Prologue”, which details what makes a prologue a useful tool rather than a useless appendage:

“A good prologue provides information that can’t be included elsewhere as effectively. It shouldn’t turn into an information dump, but it can give essential facts regarding something that occurred in the past. . . It can be useful in fantasy or science fiction where the setting is too complex to introduce gradually. . . A short prologue, showing some occurrence that illustrates the setting, society, or other essential element, can clarify what type of world the main story takes place in” [https://thewritingplace.wordpress.com/2009/07/24/story-elements-using-a-prologue/].

The content of the “Prologue” from AGoT easily fulfills Benedict’s criteria. First, Martin invites his readers to experience the frigid region of the north that represents “ice” in his series’ title A Song of ICE and Fire. Second, he previews a society of men known as the Night’s Watch whose Sworn Brothers dutifully guard the realms of men against the wildlings, another society of people who are contained behind the formidable barricade known as the Wall. Last, the race of White Walkers are the “essential element”, building suspense and tension in the first pages of the series as they silently stalk the Night’s Watch rangers in a guise of invisibility. A bloody confrontation ensues proving that the White Walkers pose a dangerous threat to the realms of men.

Martin shrouds the White Walkers and their origins in mystery throughout AGoT and the four novels that follow. Martin confirms nothing as absolute; instead, he divulges rumors, speculations, and exaggerations often delivered by unreliable sources. In this fashion, Martin sustains the curiosity of his readers. However, Will’s POV does strongly insinuate that White Walkers and their zombie-inspired minions called wights are deadly purveyors of the long winter and years of darkness. Thus, Martin utilizes his “Prologue” successfully, advancing only a few of many, many players in his richly populated kingdoms; furthermore, he artfully avoids misusing his prologue as an information dump.

Martin elects to unify the first five novels of his I&F Series with “prologues”, but the narrators are not regular characters recounting multiple POV’s. These ill-fated “prologue” chroniclers are essential in Martin’s story-building process as reminders that “all men must serve” and “all men must die”.

Finally, “What’s Past is Prologue” is from William Shakespeare’s poetic play The Tempest, and the words speak to the “Prologue” from AGoT because the threat of history repeating itself is a concern; that is, unless someone, somewhere, somehow learns – or remembers – how the White Walkers were defeated in the past, the first time they imperiled the existence of men and their realms, history will repeat itself, minus a last hero with flaming sword or some other savior to the rescue.

Apparently, the trees and Winterfell “remember” what the First Men once knew, and accessing this ancient, forgotten knowledge is imperative for defeating the enemies and save the world from ice and fire. Very likely Martin will illustrate how the past serves the present and the future to uphold Shakespeare’s adage “What’s past is prologue”.

[evita mgfs]

1. Martin’s Pronoun Problems in his “Limited” Third-Person-Point-of-View Prose Narrative

In his first “Prologue” from A Game of Thrones, the first novel of his A Song of Ice and Fire Series, author George R. R. Martin demonstrates the “limited” third-person-point-of-view narration, a method of storytelling in which the narrator knows only the thoughts and feelings of a single character who reveals other characters only externally. As an observer, reporter, and participant, Night’s Watch ranger “Will” is the prologue narrator. He establishes conflict, mood, setting, style, and much more.

Will’s perspective is “limited”, which disallows him from accessing the thoughts and feelings of others. Hence, Will is not “omniscient”.

Authors, in general, rely on pronouns to replace nouns in a sentence, which prevents tiresome repetition of the same word, especially in the same sentence. The downside of pronouns is that they are governed by particular rules that writers should master to avoid obscure, ambiguous prose.

So, when Martin commits to narrating in third-person, he must avoid using first- and second-person pronouns, except in [1] quoted material or dialogue, [2] letters or raven scrolls, and [3] italicized monologues, inner voices, dreams, and [4] songs and prayers [which Martin uses in later POVs].

English has three "persons" or points of view. Each requires correct pronoun selection to meet grammatical standards that readers and writers recognize in prose and in poetry. A list follows:

FIRST PERSON: THE SPEAKER

I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours

SECOND PERSON: THE PERSON SPOKEN TO

you, your, yours

THIRD PERSON: THE PERSON OR THINGS SPOKEN ABOUT

he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, its, they, them, their

The fundamentals of writing include, but are not limited to, acceptable usage of grammar and mechanics, consistent and therefore recognizable to the reading public in general. Maintaining consistent point-of-view is a competency skill expected in writing. Affirming third-person-point-of-view pronouns and ensuring their correct usage, the author contributes to the novel’s unity, clarity, and coherence.

On five occasions in the “Prologue”, Martin shifts points-of-view, from third person pronouns to second person pronouns [Examples to follow].

The notion that assiduous, detail-oriented writer Martin shifts to “you” is inconceivable! After all, putting words to his sweeping fantasy necessitates a gifted command of the English language. Moreover, Martin is the master-mind who conceived the novels published thus far in the series of Ice and Fire. It makes no sense that Martin’s oversights have been missed by the eagle-eyed author himself, by his copy editors, by his typesetter(s), and even by electronic grammar, usage, and spell check programs.

Seasoned Martin readers discover errors NOT habitually made by the author in the scope of I&F Series thus far. Their suspicions lead to speculation on whether the oversights are indeed errors OR instead “ON-Purpose(s)”. Deliberate pronoun shifts may suggest that Martin wants to make a connection with his audience by focusing on the readers. He invites his readers to look deeper into the subtext of the passage in question and to speculate on the meaning behind his intentions.

The complexities of Martin’s content are awe-inspiring, featuring material readers may enjoy on different levels of thinking, interpreting, and analyzing. Because of Martin’s captivating characters, exotic locations, and riveting action, first-time readers may overlook the subtleties that invite those scholarly minds to read again and again between the lines, applying critical approaches of analyses in studying Martin’s Ice and Fire Series novels, especially AGoT.

[evita mgfs]

EVIDENCE #1:

“YOU COULD TASTE IT [FEAR].”

“Gared had spent forty years in the Night’s Watch, man and boy, and he was not accustomed to being made light of. But it was more than that. Under the wounded pride, Will could sense something else in the older man. You could taste it; a nervous tension that came perilous close to fear” (AGoT 2).

Martin addresses the readers when he shifts from third-person-point-of-view narration to the second-person:

“You could taste it”.

To avoid shifting point-of-view, the “you” needs to be replaced with an appropriate third-person pronoun:

Better: “He could taste it.” OR “They could taste it.”

Regardless, the sentence “You could taste it” is worth scrutiny, especially if Martin intends to communicate with his readers.

As if to draw attention to the second-person shift, Martin places it at the beginning of a sentence that is within a passage narrated from the third person point of view. The incorrect personal pronoun YOU, functioning in the subjective case, is capitalized.

These crafty particulars inspire the readers to consider Martin’s purposes.

The verb phrase “could taste” contains an auxiliary verb “could” and a main verb “taste”, which is the operative word naming one of the five senses intrinsic to humans. In order to evaluate flavors, the characters sample the “dish”, thereby stimulating the sensory receptors located in their “mouths”.

“You could taste it”. By addressing readers as “you”, Martin assigns them the unsavory task of imagining a taste befitting fear. Readers’ notions involve them personally in the story and encourage them to play the “game” of thrones in an unobtrusive way.

Will not only “tastes” fear, but later in the “Prologue”, he ingests it as well:

“Fear filled his [Will’s] gut like a meal he could not digest” (AGoT 8).

The intangible is tangible, but fear is not an appetizing option.

The fear “filling” Will’s “gut” correlates to the cold inside Gared, which he calls the real enemy. Since Gared “had the cold” in him, he wears the disfigurements of “frostbite” as visible proof of the consequences of the cold. Gared removes his hood to show Royce “the stumps where his ears had been” (4). Gared also lost three toes and a little finger.

The “frostbite”, an agent of the cold, has metaphorical teeth with which to “bite”. Likewise, Gared claims that the Cold enters his brother who subsequently freezes to death while on his watch; however, he dies with a smile on his lips. Fear and cold access the body through the mouth, literally and/or figuratively. For example, when Will tries to call out a warning to Ser Royce, Will loses his voice: “. . . the words seemed to freeze in his [Will’s] throat” (8). Either the cold or his fear, or both, account for Will’s silence.

Also, Will finds comfort in “the taste of cold iron in his mouth” (). As Will ascends the sentinel tree, “He [Will] whispered a prayer to the nameless gods of the wood, and slipped his dirk free of its sheath. He put it between his teeth . . . The taste of cold iron in his mouth gave him comfort”. Blood causes a metallic taste in the mouth due to its iron content. Will’s mouth is the instrument of prayer just as it is the instrument of taste. Martin’s connection insinuates a relationship among the old gods, prayer, iron, and blood. Ironically, it is the taste of “cold iron” [blood, symbolically] that is the source of comfort for Will, not his prayer.

Thus, Martin enlists “the mouth”, the fundamental human facial feature, as a multi-dimensional symbol with numerous meanings, and this literal and figurative symbol, its attributes, its purposes - will knot the threads of numerous complex motifs that start in the “Prologue” of A Game of Thrones and continue through the novels thus far.

Taste is a sensory perception, one of five traditionally recognized senses, including smell, sight, sound, and touch. They collaborate to enable the mind to better understand its surroundings.

Because the readers trust and identify with the prologue narrator Will and because Gared’s unease is so palpable, Martin projects fear onto the readers.

Gared, Will, and the readers could taste fear in the “Prologue”; however, in the first POV after Will’s “Prologue”, Martin “shows” fear mirrored in the eyes of another. Jon Snow’s perceptivity allows him to SEE the fear of his seven-year-old foster brother Bran Stark.

Just that morning, Bran was deemed old enough to witness the king’s justice, so Bran must watch the execution of a Night’s Watch deserter. Bran will need to find the courage to control his own feelings of dread. He has never before seen a man beheaded, much less beheaded by his own lord father.

Jon Snow gives Bran well-meaning encouragement:

“‘Keep the pony well in hand," he whispered. ‘And don't look away. Father will know if you do’" (Bran I).

“Bran kept his pony well in hand, and did not look away”.

Bran fulfills his duty and receives kudos for his bravery. As a matter of fact, Martin says that Bran “could not take his eyes off the blood”. Will, on the contrary, cannot watch Royce’s end: “It was cold butchery. The pale blades sliced through ringmail as if it were silk. Will closed his eyes” (10).

Bran’s attendance to the blood illustrates his future proclivity for such through his direwolf Summer. Moreover, Bran has the scrutiny of an audience and the threat of his father’s omniscience to pressure him to perform as expected, all of which Will does not. Will, on the other hand, suffers Royce dropping to his knees, but he cannot witness the White Walkers’ abuse of Royce’s corpse.

Even though Bran watches Gared’s execution, his child’s eyes do not see as much as his older brothers do. Bran overhears Robb and Jon at odds about whether or not the headless man died bravely. Robb says to Jon,

"The deserter died bravely . . . He had courage, at the least."

"No," Jon Snow said quietly. "It was not courage. This one was dead of fear. You could see it in his eyes, Stark."

The verbal exchange between the brothers reveals that Jon Snow is more perceptive than Robb Stark in the study of human nature. Because the readers are aware of what happens in the “Prologue”, they know that Will and Ser Royce encounter misfortunes and chances are that Gared does not escape unscathed. Therefore, readers can determine that Jon’s assessment of Gared’s fear is more accurate than Robb’s assertion that Gared “had courage”.

Martin uses hyperbole in Jon Snow’s response: “This one was dead of fear. You could see it in his eyes, Stark”. Gared’s eyes are “dead of fear”, an expression that insinuates his eyes have lost the luster of the living and instead reflect the flat, unresponsive attribute of the dead. Whatever Gared sees or saw affects his countenance. Dramatic irony enforces that readers know what the characters do not: Gared obviously witnesses “something” of the events that transpire in the “Prologue” between Ser Waymar Royce and the White Walkers and between Royce and Will.

Jon Snow assumes the deserter of the Night’s Watch fears his fate while readers suspect that so much more causes Gared’s fear than of imminent death. Gared tastes fear in the “Prologue”, and this leads him to forsake forty-four years of brotherhood on the Wall for a future as a deserter who the king’s justice marks for death, an end Gared may welcome after what he experiences in the haunted forest. Interestingly, and even more ironically, is that Gared’s fear does lead him to his death.

When Bran overhears Robb and Jon’s exchange, he commences to stew on the paradox of bravery only existing when a man faces fear. Bran’s consternation brings sagacious Lord Eddard Stark to his side with fatherly advice that affirms that the only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid.

Even though taste is not featured in the same way, Martin does employ language indicative of “tasting” to describe the blood:

“Blood sprayed out across the snow, as red as surnmerwine . . . The snows around the stump drank it eagerly, reddening as he [bran] watched” ().

Summerwine is a popular alcoholic beverage enjoyed seasonally, and coincidentally Lord Eddard serves it to feast King Robert on his visit to Winterfell. The mention of summerwine in association with blood shows that Bran conceives that the blood is drinkable. In this moment, Bran could not predict that one day in the future he will taste the blood of a beheaded captive through the roots of Winterfell’s heart tree 1000’s of years in the past.

Martin describes the snow as drinking the blood, which infers a great deal for the future of certain Stark children. Snow as a symbol links the Starks of the past with the Starks of the present, and Martin tells readers early on that the Starks will taste “human” blood, both literally and symbolically.

Martin’s themes in Will’s “Prologue” bind them to narratives that follow, starting in Bran’s first POV. Although Bran’s setting is far from beyond the Wall, at a holdfast near Winterfell, and the narrator is not Ranger Will with his band of brothers but the child Bran with his bastard brother and his real brother, Martin connects Will and Bran through their fear, their courage, their duties, and more. Even the five senses are threads Martin feeds into his loom for the weaving of his fantasy at the start of AGoT.

[evita mgfs]

EVIDENCE #2:

“YOUR COMMANDER”

“Will wanted nothing so much as to ride hellbent for the safety of the Wall, but that was not a feeling to share with your commander.
“Especially not a commander like this one” (2).

The second time the author shifts from third-person pronouns to second-person your is when Will divulges that he cannot share his feelings with “your commander”. “Your” is the possessive case in second-person narration, and it functions as a pronominal adjective modifying commander.

Note Martin’s errors are corrected below:

“. . . but that was not a feeling to share with your commander”.

BETTER

“. . . but that was not a feeling to share with his or their commander”.

Will does not claim that Royce is “his” or “their” commander. Quite the reverse, he distinguishes readers with the dubious honor of YOUR commander. In this way, Will distances himself from Royce’s command. Martin intends that his readers share Gared’s and Will’s frustration and helplessness in their attempts to reason with the knight determined to prove himself at the expense of the well-being of others.

“Commander” is a respectful title that acknowledges Royce’s position as the leader responsible for decision-making among the ranks assigned to the ranging mission. The sarcastic tone of “your commander” is a jeer at Ser Royce’s ineptitude as a leader. Furthermore, Royce owns another title as well, “SER”, an honor that proclaims he has been knighted. Martin strategically gives Ser Waymar Royce titles, a first name, and a house name to illustrate that Will and Gared’s surnames are of no consequence because they have no titles or family connections.

Moreover, Will emphasizes that Royce is one among commanders: “Especially not a commander like this one”. The “this” does not define “what” exactly sets Royce apart from the general and singles him out in the specific for the readers. However, both author Martin and narrator Will trust that the readers will know what Will means by “like this one”.

Royce’s folly is ordering his men to find the dead wildlings instead of marching for home. However, the forces at work in the haunted forest are seemingly aware of Royce’s lack of respect for the dangerous environment and his attitude of superiority after his men warn him of their concerns.

As a matter-of-fact, the White Walker that Royce combats systematically ruins his trappings of wealth, slashing his ringmail, bloodying his moleskin gloves, shattering his castle-forged blade, and bringing him to his knees. The White Walkers in the company slice to ribbons the oft-mentioned sable skin cloak.

Disfiguring Royce’s once handsome face is a statement as well. The White Walkers leave no indignity out. “Your commander” falls from grace, but he rises as a hideous monster.

EVIDENCE 3

“YOU LAUGHED AT IN YOUR CUPS”

“His [Royce’s] cloak was his crowning glory; sable, thick and black and soft as sin. ‘Bet he killed them all himself, he did,’ Gared told the barracks over wine, ‘twisted their little heads off, our mighty warrior.’ They [sworn Brothers of the Night’s Watch] all shared the laugh. It is hard to take orders from a man you laughed at in your cups . . .” (3).

This is the third example of Martin shifting from third-person to second-person in the “Prologue”:

“It is hard to take orders from a man you laughed at in your cups . . .”

Better: “It is hard to take orders from a man they laughed at in their cups . . .”

Martin chooses second-person “you” instead of maintaining third-person pronouns as a way to involve the readers in the unfavorable impression Ser Waymar Royce makes on his fellow brothers of the Night’s Watch who resent Royce’s appointment as commanding ranger, especially when they compare Gared and Will’s combined forty-four years of service on the Wall with Royce’s barely half year of service.

Royce’s trappings of wealth further agitate his brothers because his wardrobe takes precedence over his preparedness for ranging beyond the Wall. By involving the readers in the Sworn Brothers’ disrespect for and mockery of Royce, Martin makes them a part of the inequities of advancement among the ranks. The readers become confidants who share a laugh and drinks with the veterans of the Watch.

While drinking with his circle of brothers, Gared makes fun of Royce’s sable cloak, but he is safely out of Royce’s earshot. Gared evokes an image of Royce twisting the tiny necks of 101 furry martens to build his ranging cloak.

After his reanimation, Royce twists Will’s neck, an allusion to the martens, or a method of death that cuts off Will’s breathing and his voice. Royce called out to Will three times, and three times Will did not answer “Our mighty warrior”.

EVIDENCE 4

“ROCKS AND HIDDEN ROOTS TO TRIP YOU UP”

“Will threaded their way through a thicket, then started up the slope to the low ridge where he had found his vantage point under a sentinel tree. Under the thin crust of snow, the ground was damp and muddy, slick footing, with rocks and hidden roots to trip you up. Will made no sound as he climbed” (7).

Ser Waymar Royce orders Will to “Lead on”, to guide him to the location of the fallen wildlings. As Royce follows Will, so do the readers, albeit figuratively.

The conditions are treacherous, “Under the crust of snow, the ground was damp and muddy, slick footing with rocks and hidden roots to trip YOU up” (7).

Martin once again shifts from third person pronouns to the ubiquitous “YOU”, and he warns the audience of poor footholds and hidden perils that will “trip them up” if they are not paying attention. Martin is a master of metaphor, and beneath the “crust” of pages and words, is the subtext where Martin buries his remarkable treasure trove of literary conventions, allusions, language patterns, sensory details, and so much more.

Martin focuses on “rocks and hidden roots” as the pitfalls that cause the walkers to “stumble”; just so, readers may stumble as well, over the words, the characters, the themes, the deaths. However, more likely the rocks and roots symbolize misinformation, unreliable narrators, a skewed timeline, unofficial deaths, red-herrings, riddles, and similar ways Martin ‘trips up’ his readers. He hides clues in plain sight, like the rocks on a footpath.

The “roots” have more profound significance because Martin says they are “hidden”. He challenges readers to find – to “root out” –what he artfully nests between his lines. The “roots” and “rocks” also symbolize the old gods of the north. The roots of the Stark heart tree grow deep, and a future greenseer will use these and other roots to a purpose. Martin significantly repeats the base word “root” in Bran 1.

Ned speaks with unconscious irony here:

“Come, let us see what mischief my sons have rooted out now”

The verb “rooted” is apt because Martin connects the direwolf pups with the forces of the old gods, who gift the Stark progeny their direwolves.

EVIDENCE 5

“YOU SAW HOW YOUNG HE WAS”

Pronoun Shift, Dangling Modifier, and Skewed Logic

The final illustration of Martin’s shifting from third- to second-person-point-of-view appears in a sentence that he opens with a dangling modifier. The usually perspicuous Martin composes a confusing, illogical passage wherein pronoun usage errors are the compelling offenses.

Martin writes:

“Royce’s body lay face down in the snow, one arm out flung. The thick sable cloak had been slashed in a dozen places. Lying dead like that, you saw how young he was. A boy” (10).

The introductory participial phrase “lying dead like that” functions as an adjective and technically should modify the subject of the main clause [YOU saw how young he was], which is YOU. Martin’s poor wording in modification is an oversight an editor should have caught; that is, unless Martin means more in his subtext.

“YOU”, or the reader(s), is/are NOT “lying dead”. Ser Royce is the unfortunate chap lying dead. The error could have been corrected easily with a little wordsmithing as follows:

“Lying dead like that, he looked young, like a boy”.

The next issue with the same sentence is the pronoun THAT in “Lying dead like that”. The antecedent of “that” is unclear. Martin narrows the scope with a few options:

1. “Royce’s body lay face down in the snow, one arm out flung”.
2. “The thick sable cloak had been slashed in a dozen places”.
3. Both A and B

With Royce’s face down, Will cannot feasibly assess Royce’s countenance to determine that he “looked young, like a boy”. After all, the face is the aspect people usually scrutinize when gauging the age of another. So, if not Will’s face, the pronoun that may refer to Royce’s final repose and/or to Royce’s shredded sable cloak. However, neither of these options communicate that Royce “looked young, like a boy” when “lying dead”.

Will might mean that Royce’s spent corpse beneath his shredded cloak makes Royce look “young, like a boy” in contrast to Royce’s formidable stature astride his warhorse, where he towers over Will and Gared. With his arm out flung and with his face down, Royce appears helpless and smaller in stature “like a boy”. Royce reaches out in death for a weapon, for help, or for the unattainable dreams he had in life. Thus, the once intensely driven ranging commander succumbs to the great leveler of all men, death.

However, Will mentions Royce’s youth frequently in the “Prologue”. For example, Will refers to Royce as a “young knight” (4) and lordling, a term for a young, minor lord: “Down below, the lordling called out suddenly, “Who goes there?” Will heard uncertainty in the challenge”. Perhaps Will hears fear in Royce’s uncertain challenge, or perhaps the advent of the White Walkers affects Royce’s voice.

Next, as Royce looks upon his foe, his breath leaves him in a hiss, which causes his voice to crack “like a boy’s”:
“‘Come no farther,’ the lordling warned. His voice cracked like a boy’s”. Royce’s voice returns him to puberty. Royce has finally “felt them”, and their presence and his fear takes away his breath. A dry mouth accounts for his poor vocal quality.

Royce graduates from a boy to a “man” of the Night’s Watch as he dances with the White Walker: “His hands trembled from the weight of it [sword], or perhaps from the cold. Yet in that moment, Will thought, he was a boy no longer, but a man of the Night’s Watch”. The “that” modifying “moment” limits greatly the length of time Will sees Royce achieve his “manhood” as a Sworn Brother of the Night’s Watch. After a short interval of time, Royce returns to looking young and like a boy.

Despite his name, his expensive wardrobe, his castle-forged longsword, his moleskin gloves, his ring mail, and his impressive warhorse, the antagonistic, vain, insensitive, and unreasonable Royce is laid low by an enemy he hardly challenges in combat. Readers sometimes forget, so Martin reminds them, just as he reminds Will of “the boy” in Royce.

If Martin’s pronoun shift, dangling modifier, and skewed logic serve higher purposes, then perhaps the author wants “the readers” to note the “boy” who once wears the handsome features of Ser “Way More” Royce. In this way, Martin aspires to “shock” his readers along with Will when Royce rises as a wight to reveal his disfigured face.

To emphasize Royce’s cyclopean views, Martin writes: “A shard from his [Royce’s] sword transfixed the blind white pupil of his left eye” (11). Royce’s narrow mindedness is evident as the commander is “blind” to reason; he belittles seasoned rangers and ridicules their wise counsel, yet he is a boy, a youth whose faults cannot be excused. Martin creates characters just as, and even more flawed, than Royce, young people whose circumstances empower them before they have been adequately prepared to make good judgements, to lead others, and to respect fear.

IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS MARTIN’S MAXWELL PERKINS?

After reading about Martin’s errors in writing point-of-view narrations, readers may dismiss them as having no greater significance than being mistakes that the author, his editors, and others overlooked during the proofreading stages of production. If this is so, there is no excuse good enough to dismiss such sophomoric offenses in a work that otherwise poses to be the product of scrupulous meanness. Narratives that follow do not possess such egregious oversights.

According to “Homework Help with Mrs. Jasper”,

“Writing in the second person requires use of the pronouns you, your, and yours. This point of view is used to address the audience in technical writing, advertising, songs and speeches”. [http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-writing-in-second-person.html].

So, even Mrs. Jasper’s students know the types of writing in which “you” is in good form because when Martin refers to “YOU” in Will’s narrative, he speaks to the reader.

It would be a sad state of affairs if Martin’s misuse of pronouns and modifications were over-looked by his copy editors – or if Martin ignored well-meaning proof-reading corrections in a rush to meet deadlines.

Martin needs better editors – grammar, writing, and content editors – especially because his Ice and Fire Series is destined for the best-seller lists worldwide and may become as appealing universally as Shakespeare’s works are now.

Someone of literary significance has probably said that behind every great writer is a great editor.

“Great” American writer F. Scott Fitzgerald immortalized his high praise for Scribner editor Maxwell Perkins whom Fitzgerald credited with structuring his now classic novel The Great Gatsby. But Perkins refuted the eulogizing, acknowledging that Fitzgerald’s talent created the novel’s architecture and that Perkins contributed the mortar. Nevertheless, the team of Fitzgerald and Perkins achieved a masterpiece in Gatsby through maintaining a professional relationship built on mutual respect and trust. Besides, Fitzgerald was notorious for his bad spelling, a fact that can be verified by examining Fitzgerald’s handwritten pages of Gatsby’s early drafta. So, Perkins performed revision duties that today’s editors avoid with electronic spelling and grammar checks.

Where is Martin’s Maxwell Perkins?

Then again, Martin may not need or want such an editor.

[Lady Blackmont]

This is interesting, nice essay.

I do have a pet peeve regarding the term White Walker though.

Others, Others, it rhymes with smothers. You have to know their name.

[evita mgfs]

This is interesting, nice essay.

I do have a pet peeve regarding the term White Walker though.

Others, Others, it rhymes with smothers. You have to know their name.

:bowdown: HAR! :blushing:

[evita mgfs]

GRAMMATICAL CLARIFICATION

PASSAGE UNDER EXAMINATION/ANALYSIS:

“Rickon patted Shaggydog’s muzzle, damp with blood. “I let him loose. He doesn’t like chains.” He licked at his fingers” (734).

“HE” is a vague reference. There are two views of the performer of the action “licked” in the last sentence. Is it Shaggydog who licks Rickon’s fingers? Or Rickon who licks his own fingers?

Grammatically, the passage contains prose narrative interrupted by a direct quote, a separate element with words set apart by opened and closed quotes. See the example:

“Rickon patted Shaggydog’s muzzle, damp with blood. “I let him loose. He doesn’t like chains.” He licked at his fingers” (734).

The antecedent of HE is the subject of the “first” sentence: Rickon. “Rickon patted Shaggydog’s muzzle, damp with blood. “Rickon Speaks”. “He licked at his fingers”. HE must refer to Rickon for two reasons: it makes sense because “Shaggydog’s muzzle” cannot LICK at his fingers. Second, “he” is a subjective case pronoun that stands in for a noun in a sentence.

The ANTECEDENT for HE should be in the prose narrative that precedes the direct quote. The sentence follows:

I have been working on a long writing project in which I am theorizing that the “blood” the direwolves taste emboldens the Stark children. Through TRACKING the blood, I noticed several revelations about Rickon that may foreshadow what is to come.

Rickon is as wild as a “winter’s storm”, says Bran in AGoT, and he adds that Shaggy is “as wild as Rickon”. Child and direwolf mirror one another. Shaggydog infuses Rickon with a wild wolfish spirit. With Shaggy at his side, Rickon visits the crypts at least twice, both times without illumination to guide him. Evidently, Shaggydog can see in the dark, and possibly so can Rickon, an aspect of his god-given talents that his siblings may or may not share. Through Shaggy, Rickon is fearless.

Blood unifies Rickon and Shaggy, the direwolf who has already tasted the blood of two victims. Shaggydog has “bitten Gage on the arm and torn a chunk of meat from Mikken’s thigh” (AGoT 573).

Rickon’s dream about Ned in the crypts is prophetic, a clear and lucid vision of a ghost appearing to his son to ask for a meeting in the crypts of WF. Rickon’s dream is quite similar to the “greendreams” of Jojen Reed whom Bran meets in A Crown of Kings.

Thus, these enigmatic dreams may be the onset of the Stark gifts: warging/greendreaming. Since Bran’s warging and greenseeing are surpassing the capabilities of other greenseers, Rickon may develop a talent for greendreams, a “bonus” gift. Arya can warg Nymeria across the Narrow Sea. Will warging/skinchanging across bodies of water be a Bonus gift unique to Arya or shared by all?

On the day after Bran and Rickon both dream of their father, Rickon “unobserved” frees Shaggydog from his chains. Both disappear into the crypts without a torch. Evidently, the blood Shaggydog samples emboldens both the pup and his four-year-old mate. They feed off one another’s budding powers.

In the darkness boy and wolf patiently await a visitation from Eddard Stark. Meanwhile, Bran tries to visit the crypts, but Hodor is too afraid to go down the spiral stairs. Bran complains to Maester Luwin who generously offers to attend him into the crypts, and since Hodor is afraid, Osha the wildling carries Bran in her arms. Summer goes as well, but he prefers staying close to the bottom of the stairs.

Summer and Hodor are “sensitive” to ghostly spirits, and they are creeped out by the supernatural forces at work.

As Maester Luwin’s torch lights the way for Bran, Summer, Osha, and himself, they arrive at Lord Eddard’s grave.

Maester Luwin “thrust his own arm into the mouth of some giant beast” (734). Unfortunately, the darkness sprang at him [Luwin], snarling” (734). Instead of an empty vault, Shaggydog attacks with ferocity. Shaggydog’s jaws latch onto Luwin’s arm, and Shaggydog’s muzzle glistens wet with blood.

“In the drunken shifting torchlight, they saw Luwin struggling with the direwolf, beating at his muzzle with one hand while the jaws closed on the other” (734).

Bran calls Summer to separate Luwin and Shaggydog, and Rickon calls Shaggydog to heel. Then, Rickon finds his “mean”. Emboldened by Shaggy’s taste of hot blood, Rickon assumes an attitude that denotes authority and he issues a warning to Luwin:

“You let my father be . . . You let him be” (734).

Rickon’s boldness mirrors Shaggy’s boldness in his attack of the Maester. Shaggy perceives a threat, recklessly reacting and attacking an innocent.

Bran soothes Rickon, asking his brother about his dream. Rickon assures Bran that father “promised” he would be home tonight.

Losing his patience for Rickon’s ghost dream, Maester Luwin chastises Rickon for not keeping Shaggydog chained in the kennels. Rickon offers a defiant response that evidences that he has no fear of owning his actions:

“Rickon patted Shaggydog’s muzzle, damp with blood. “I let him loose. He doesn’t like chains.” He licked at his fingers” (734).

Rickon is not squeamish: he pats Shaggy’s bloody nose and jaw, and instead of wiping his fingers on his clothes, Rickon licks Maester Luwin’s blood from his fingers. [see grammar notes at the end of this post explaining thee sentence construction and vague reference error.]

Rickon’s symbolic tasting of human blood, even if transfer from Shaggydog’s muzzle, is an important event that speaks to how the blood motif will play out in the game of thrones . [Excerpt from "The Origins of the Blood Motif"]

Thus, Rickon’s magical powers will prove exceptional, as will those of his siblings. They may share the warging gifts, but Martin hints that the Stark siblings have unique powers that set them apart from one another. For example, Bran controls the wind, and he uses the leaves of the weirwood to speak to Theon and to attract his father’s attention.

Rickon has no fear of the dark “early” on, well in advance of his siblings. The Stark siblings share parallel journeys conquering their fears of the dark.

As early as AGoT, Martin suggests Rickon’s warging/greenseeing powers. Since Rickon does not have a POV, Martin hints at Rickon’s bond with Shaggy, their shared natures, and their mutual wildness through the observations of other POV characters.

Rickon tasting Maester Luwin’s blood in the crypts of Winterfell insinuates Rickon’s “blood-thirsty” nature. Here, Rickon tastes “first blood”, a symbolic initiation in Lord Eddard’s empty grave. Many of these images evoke death, and Rickon and Shaggy are surrounded by death.

[Chocs]

This is a really good essay. Would love to read more of your posts. :cheers:

[evita mgfs]

This is a really good essay. Would love to read more of your posts. :cheers:

CHOCS! You are a dear! I love your posts as well!

My essay took months of work and lots of revisions!

BTW / Martin makes POV errors in many of his narratives, not just the "Prologue"!

[Chocs]

CHOCS! You are a dear! I love your posts as well!

My essay took months of work and lots of revisions!

BTW / Martin makes POV errors in many of his narratives, not just the "Prologue"!

Yup, it shows in the post and length how much effort you put into it. It really does highlight his mistakes, he has also went onto say he has trouble with eye colours, as well :)

[evita mgfs]

Yup, it shows in the post and length how much effort you put into it. It really does highlight his mistakes, he has also went onto say he has trouble with eye colours, as well :)

YES, YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT!

However, I forgive him - he needs better editors - he should have an editor for continuity, you know. He is being sorely short-changed in that regard! His eye colors SHOULD HAVE BEEN CAUGHT by an editor!

[Ser Leftwich]

Will does not get the benefit of italicized inner thoughts/speech.

If you compare to say, Cressen, in ACoK, he does get he italicized inner thoughts/speech.

At the time of the first book, perhaps they completely avoided the inner thoughts for Will for whatever reason.

Within Will's prologue the usage is consistent, which separates it from the rest of AGoT. It is only in the later books, with other Pro/Epilogue, that do get italicized inner thoughts/speech that the writing of Will seems odd.

Why is this significant?

[Chocs]

YES, YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT!

However, I forgive him - he needs better editors - he should have an editor for continuity, you know. He is being sorely short-changed in that regard! His eye colors SHOULD HAVE BEEN CAUGHT by an editor!

Especially Val's eye colour, which led to so many crazy theories. :laugh:

[Chocs]

Will does not get the benefit of italicized inner thoughts/speech.

If you compare to say, Cressen, in ACoK, he does get he italicized inner thoughts/speech.

At the time of the first book, perhaps they completely avoided the inner thoughts for Will for whatever reason.

Within Will's prologue the usage is consistent, which separates it from the rest of AGoT. It is only in the later books, with other Pro/Epilogue, that do get italicized inner thoughts/speech that the writing of Will seems odd.

Why is this significant?

Just to discuss? It seems more significant to me than ''who do you want to have dinner with'' threads.

[ShadowCat Rivers]

Evita,

I am not a native english speaker. In my language, "you" can be used as an indefinite subject to express a generality, like the "on" pronoun of french, if by chance you're familiar with the language. So, it never occured to me that it might be an error - I just thought that it had the same usage in english too.

[evita mgfs]

Will does not get the benefit of italicized inner thoughts/speech.

If you compare to say, Cressen, in ACoK, he does get he italicized inner thoughts/speech.

At the time of the first book, perhaps they completely avoided the inner thoughts for Will for whatever reason.

Within Will's prologue the usage is consistent, which separates it from the rest of AGoT. It is only in the later books, with other Pro/Epilogue, that do get italicized inner thoughts/speech that the writing of Will seems odd.

Why is this significant?

:bowdown: :bowdown: SER LEFTWICH:

THIS IS TRUE! I have a few ideas on that I explore in further essays.

I have a scrap of an idea that involves inner voices in another AGoT POV, in which Arya hears a disembodied voice guiding her on her flight in King's Landing.

Martin hints that this voice might be the greenseer guiding her - encouraging her - telepathically, as Bran does with Theon.

But that is for later!

Thanks so very much for the insightful contributions. :cheers:

[evita mgfs]

Evita,

I am not a native english speaker. In my language, "you" can be used as an indefinite subject to express a generality, like the "on" pronoun of french, if by chance you're familiar with the language. So, it never occured to me that it might be an error - I just thought that it had the same usage in english too.

:bowdown: :bowdown: SHADOWCAT RIVERS:

WHAT A WONDERFUL POINT YOUR MAKE, and worthy of addressing in an essay.

As a retired English/Writing teacher, I can assure you that in writing fiction and in writing analysis, maintaining POV AND NOT SHIFTING TO SECOND IS A BIG PROBLEM.

I CITED several authorities on the matter, and I will find the citings I cut in my revisions to make this ERROR very clear.

BTW / I love your posts in many other threads. Great writing for one whose native language is not English.

All my exchange students knew their English grammar better than the American students I taught! :dunce:

[Arakan]

Evita,

I am not a native english speaker. In my language, "you" can be used as an indefinite subject to express a generality, like the "on" pronoun of french, if by chance you're familiar with the language. So, it never occured to me that it might be an error - I just thought that it had the same usage in english too.

Same here.

A correct usage would have been "one could taste it" I suppose.

It's similar in German...with man (one)/ du (you).

The former would be the correct usage in 3rd person pov, the latter is rather colloquial.

[ShadowCat Rivers]

Evita, thanks a lot!!!

I wonder, how this generality can be expressed in english? One way could be the passive voice, but this might lead to a 'surly', not 'flowing' syntax... even worse (it feels to me) would be to use a form like "one could taste it".

[Greg B]

In "You could taste it," isn't this just the generic you? He's not actually changing the POV. "One could taste it" doesn't work stylistically.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_you