The bones of Willam Dustin

[ChillyPolly]

Since GRRM included this dream, and it seems very deliberate and thought out, I am betting it means something.

Yeah.  George is saying "Please don't pay too close attention to these clues I'm providing, they might not mean anything".  Yeah, nice try, George.

[WhitewolfStark]

 

This is an issue with semantics, but not a trivial issue. Martin chooses his words carefully. Obviously it is not literal - Ned moonlighting as a knee doctor, and Arthur seeing him for arthritis.

 

 

 

 

This was from a dream Ned had, so I doubt the conversation took place literally and exactly as described, but some things seem unusual.

 

As I mentioned earlier, the quote "Our knees do not bend easily” could have been written "Our knees do not bend”, unless they surrendered.

 

Ser Gerold says "We swore a vow". But what vow is he referring to? If they simply swore to defend Lyanna and Jon, they knew Ned was Lyanna's brother, that he intended no harm, and would let him pass.

 

Why does Ned have sadness in his voice? Sadness is not the mood of a warrior going into battle. Notice that while Arthur unsheathes his sword, it does not describe Ned doing the same. Why not "Ned shouted 'Now it ends!' drawing Ice as he charged forward"?

 

The tone of this suggests against Reed stealthily killing Dayne. There was a conversation, and Arthur had time to don his helm. If there was a sneak attack, the battle didn't start this way. While we could imagine: "'No,' Ned said with sadness in his voice. 'Now it ends.' as the hidden Howland sunk his dagger into Arthur's neck", that isn't the impression I get at all.

I think we have to remember that Ned is having this dream while under the poppy (as DigUpherBones says) but also immediately after Jaime and his men ambushed Ned and his men. I think Martin is drawing an intended parallel here between the two events, only now Ned is in the opposite position he'd been in while in the war. Jaime is in the position Ned had been in, arriving after a family member has been abducted and seeking retribution, while Ned is forced to claim responsibility for something he didn't actually do or have any hand in doing all due to a vow--his marriage vow to Catelyn. Ned and his retinue are swarmed and badly injured or killed. In the next chapter he's thinking about the Tower of Joy event.

To some extent there's probably more parallels going on than we're aware of. Perhaps someone, like Ned, was forced by a vow to have to come into conflict with someone, like Jaime & young Ned, who didn't understand the whole story. There's probably more elements to tease out, but I'd say comparing and contrasting the TOJ to that chance meeting in the street likely is the best key to figuring out some elements that Martin is teasing.

Then there's also the historical parallels being drawn to how the Armagnac-Burgundian War started, which also began with the abduction of a family member and escalated with a man attacking another in a back alley when he was unawares. The Burgundian-Armagnac war of course was just one aspect to the Hundred Years War, and GRRM once gave an interview at the tomb of one of those two men who met in the street, when he was in France.
 

GRRM also made a point to tell us several times, he was under the milk of poppy and it was a dream.

 

you ever had surgery and been on heavy painkillers? surely you had some f*cked up dreams.

 

meaning none of this could have happened as it did in the text, which is why talking about ToJ, at this point, is like a dog chasing its tail.

I think part of this is true and part of this isn't.

[Tijgy]

The text says Ned built 8 cairns.  Problem is, there were (supposedly) 9 bodies .... unless Willam Dustin was not dead yet, in which case there might have been only 8.

At least 2 people found Ned with Lyanna's corpse.  Howland and who else?  Probably Willam Dustin, since his bones are mysteriously missing, and only 8 cairns were built.

However, if Lord Willam was alive at the time, he must have died since, and Ned must be aware of this.  Ned's thoughts say he never lived to ride away.

Lyanna would have probably been in one of the cairns.   Without Silent Sisters on hand to burn the flesh of the bones with special chemicals, then protecting the body under (for instance) a cairn, would be a necessary measure before the bones would be ready for transport.  The only alternative I can think of would be that her body was burned, in deference to Targ funeral customs, until only the bones remained.

 

I do not really understand what you are trying to say here. 

There were 3 KG who died according to the story (Dayne, Whent and Hightower), . Ned was with 6 companions (Reed, Dustin, Ryswell, Wull, Cassel and poor Ethan Glover, the squire of Brandon who survived the Mad King). Only Ned and Howland returned. This means 8 people died during the fight and Lyanna died later: this means indeed 9 people died supposedly. 

Ned and Lyanna were found by them (surviving people = Howland + ??? )

They took Lyanna's corpse so they did not need a cairn for her body and 8 cairns were built for the other 8 corpses (Dayne, Whent, Hightower, Dustin, Ryswell, Wull, Cassel and Glover). IIRC it is never not his bones are missing; they are just under one of the cairns (according to the story). Lady D is just angry Ned did not take them back from Dorne. 

[ChillyPolly]

I do not really understand what you are trying to say here. 

There were 3 KG who died according to the story (Dayne, Whent and Hightower), . Ned was with 6 companions (Reed, Dustin, Ryswell, Wull, Cassel and poor Ethan Glover, the squire of Brandon who survived the Mad King). Only Ned and Howland returned. This means 8 people died during the fight [1] and Lyanna died later: this means indeed 9 people died [2] supposedly. 

Ned and Lyanna were found by them (surviving people = Howland + ??? [3])

They took Lyanna's corpse so they did not need a cairn for her body [4] and 8 cairns were built for the other 8 corpses (Dayne, Whent, Hightower, Dustin, Ryswell, Wull, Cassel and Glover). IIRC it is never not his bones are missing; they are just under one of the cairns (according to the story) [5]. Lady D is just angry Ned did not take them back from Dorne. 

[1]  No, it means at least 8 of the combatants never returned.  It is not stated that all of them died during the fight.

[2]  Indeed 9 people died ... eventually.  But we don't know when.  You are assuming that Lyanna was the last to die, and that it was therefore Lyanna, and not Dustin, that was left out when Ned built 8 rather than 9 cairns.

[3]  The solution to this mystery I propose is:  Surviving People [at that time] = Howland + Dustin.  

[4]  That's the part I disagree with.  He DID need a cairn for her body.  You don't ride around in summer dragging your sister's rotting corpse after you.  You put the body under a cairn and recover the body later, either when the flesh has rotted off the corpse, or after you bring sufficient resources to transport the body with reasonable dignity.

[5]  IIRC, the story never says where Dustin's bones are, merely that Ned never returned them.   And nothing is said about whether he returned the bones of any other people who got buried under cairns (unless Lyanna was one of them, as I suspect).  We cannot assume that, merely because he never returned Dustin's bones, he never returned Glover's either.  Putting a body under a cairn does not prevent the recovery of bones.  It aids the process, by marking the location of the body and protecting it from wild animals.

[Roughspun]

He DID need a cairn for her body.  You don't ride around in summer dragging your sister's rotting corpse after you.  You put the body under a cairn and recover the body later, either when the flesh has rotted off the corpse, or after you bring sufficient resources to transport the body with reasonable dignity.

They made the cairns out of the stones of the torn-down tower. If Ned and Howland had the time and energy to tear down the tower with bare hands, they also had the time and energy to immediately take Lyanna’s body with them.

Much more probable is that after the fight was over, Howland went to fetch reinforcements. They found Ned at Lyanna’s deathbed, demolished the tower and took Lyanna with them.

[Armstark]

 

But a baby, armor, an extra sword, and all your provisions do. Plus whatever retinue of servants were left at the ToJ.

 

 

 

I imagine the Silent Sisters were pretty busy and didn't even know about the battle at the ToJ. Ned went in secret, quickly, and without his army.

 

As for the notion that Lyanna didn't want the dead's memories assimilated, that's a good theory until you remember that Ned brought HER bones back to Winterfell. The reach of the Weirnet almost certainly includes the Winterfell crypts.

Well, maybe Lyanna's spirit can prevent the weirnet from accessing her memories. Who knows if the spirits/souls of the dead that get assimilated into the weirnet retain some sort of sense of self, but a lot of what has transpired in the cave in the North and in the ADWD prologue seems to suggest they do.

Alternatively there is an argument to be made that the Winterfell Heart Tree is guarded from the rest of the weirnet and can only be accessed by a Stark. Notice that the first thing Bloodraven asks Bran to do is to watch trough the Winterfell Heart Tree. Because he can't do it himself? We know for a fact that castle Walls can guard against magic (see Melisandre at Storm's End).

The text says Ned built 8 cairns.  Problem is, there were (supposedly) 9 bodies .... unless Willam Dustin was not dead yet, in which case there might have been only 8.

At least 2 people found Ned with Lyanna's corpse.  Howland and who else?  Probably Willam Dustin, since his bones are mysteriously missing, and only 8 cairns were built.

However, if Lord Willam was alive at the time, he must have died since, and Ned must be aware of this.  Ned's thoughts say he never lived to ride away.

Lyanna would have probably been in one of the cairns.   Without Silent Sisters on hand to burn the flesh of the bones with special chemicals, then protecting the body under (for instance) a cairn, would be a necessary measure before the bones would be ready for transport.  The only alternative I can think of would be that her body was burned, in deference to Targ funeral customs, until only the bones remained.

 

Or the much simpler explanation is that "they" included a midwife or servant. I doubt the KG planed to deliver the baby themselves. Thus the count of 8 bodies and 8 cairns is right: the three KG and 5 of Ned's companions.

[ChillyPolly]

Or the much simpler explanation is that "they" included a midwife or servant. I doubt the KG planed to deliver the baby themselves. Thus the count of 8 bodies and 8 cairns is right: the three KG and 5 of Ned's companions.

It's not a particularly simple explanation, since it relies on the unexplained coincidence of Howland and the servant finding Ned and Lyanna at the exact same time.  I would think that the midwife, at least, would have been already present.

It also does not fit Ned's perspective.  Ned does not remember these people finding him, because he was lost in grief, but he knows somehow that "they" found him.  Why would he be thinking this way about some butler or chambermaid who just happened to accompany Howland when he entered the room?   At the very least, if this is not Dustin, it must be someone else who is significant to Ned, and who he still thinks of after all these years.  Was Ashara at the Tower of Joy?  Or Wylla?  I would consider that before I would consider a random butler or chambermaid.

Also, under Occham's Razor, simplicity is a virtue only when it accounts for the evidence.  We also have the question of why Ned did not make a cairn for Lyanna, or of how otherwise he protected the body or prepared it for transportation.  We also have the mystery of why GRRM is giving us this strange little subplot about Lady Dustin being angry over Ned's failure to return Lord Dustin's bones, and the mystery of why Ned did not do so.  Yes, you can provide alternate answers to all these questions, but once you have answered them all, your explanation can no longer claim to be particularly simple compared to mine.

[Armstark]

I was actually thinking of Wylla when I spoke of a midwife or servant. But I take your point about simplicity and will argue on the merits now

We have no indication that Ned returned the bones of any of the other dead companions either and some facts that indicate he did not. Lady Dustin for example would surely have mentioned it if she was the only one who was spited in this way. So when it is not only Lord Dustin's bones that he did not return what evidence/indication remains that Lord Dustin survived? Even less than before. Especially when we have Ned explicitly saying that he is dead (as you mentioned already).

And what would be the point of this anyway from a storytelling perspective? What is the significance of Lord Dustin surviving the ToJ? 

 

Getting back to my theory I want to provide the quote that made me think of all of this:

“I was with her when she died,” Ned reminded the king. “She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father.” He could hear her still at times. Promise me,

If you just quote this part (which I admit is a little deceptive) it becomes clear that the promise or at least a part of it concerned the returning of bones. We also know that Ned was haunted by the promise and that this would be unreasonable if it only concerned bringing Lyanna's bones home. It would make sense though if Ned felt bad about not returning the bones of his companions since he values the custom.

I think this part of my theory is really pretty clear cut and logical and only when I explore why Lyanna made Ned promise that do I delve into more speculative stuff.

[ChillyPolly]

I was actually thinking of Wylla when I spoke of a midwife or servant. But I take your point about simplicity and will argue on the merits now

We have no indication that Ned returned the bones of any of the other dead companions either and some facts that indicate he did not. Lady Dustin for example would surely have mentioned it if she was the only one who was spited in this way. So when it is not only Lord Dustin's bones that he did not return what evidence/indication remains that Lord Dustin survived? Even less than before. Especially when we have Ned explicitly saying that he is dead (as you mentioned already).

And what would be the point of this anyway from a storytelling perspective? What is the significance of Lord Dustin surviving the ToJ? 

Martyn Cassel and "others" are still buried in the South, as the text explicitly mentions.  But no-one else is bitter about it.  That this is an issue for Lady Dustin, but the bones are still unavailable after 15+ years, may be a subtle hint that something is wrong.  GRRM is also making an issue out of this.  Is it a random detail of no significance?  Lord Dustin's name comes up more often than any of Ned's other dead companions.  Why?

Your explanation ignores the context of the OP's question that is the basis of this thread.  Lady D is pissed about Ned not returning her husband's bones.  Jory Cassel is not pissed.  Lady Dustin is.  So, in light of that fact, why did not Ned bring the bones home to make her happy?

That Lord Dustin, if he survived, must have died since, without leaving the South, is not a problem for me, because I am intrigued by the fact that Dany explicitly remembers a man named Willam dying somewhere where lemon trees grow.

As to the rest of your post (not quoted), you may misunderstand me.  I am not denying that Ned brought Lyanna's bones north.  He certainly did.  I just claim that it would have been her bones he transported, and not a rotting corpse.  In the interim, she would need a cairn to protect her body.  So there should have been 9 cairns, not 8.

[Arrow of the Morning]

I think Ned buried his fallen companions and the three kingsguard in the cairns for practical  reasons. He had these eight bodies + Lyanna's body and he had no way to transport nine bodies with him, the only way was to get rid of the flesh and transport the bones and, again, probably he did not have the ways to do this with all bodies. The most practical way to do it would be building a funerary pyre, but they were in the desert of Dorne with little wood available so he burned only one body: Lyanna. He choose her not because she was his sister, but also the betrothed of the King of Westeros, he couldn't just bury her in the desert, Ned had to present her mortal remains and give to her a most properly burial place. Also Ned cited to Robert she made him promise to bury her in the crypts of Winterfell (we know that she made him promise him a much more relevant thing, but may be Ned just told Robert half-true). 

[ChillyPolly]

I think Ned buried his fallen companions and the three kingsguard in the cairns for practical  reasons. He had these eight bodies + Lyanna's body and he had no way to transport nine bodies with him, the only way was to get rid of the flesh and transport the bones and, again, probably he did not have the ways to do this with all bodies. The most practical way to do it would be building a funerary pyre, but they were in the desert of Dorne with little wood available so he burned only one body: Lyanna. He choose her not because she was his sister, but also the betrothed of the King of Westeros, he couldn't just bury her in the desert, Ned had to present her mortal remains and give to her a most properly burial place. Also Ned cited to Robert she made him promise to bury her in the crypts of Winterfell (we know that she made him promise him a much more relevant thing, but may be Ned just told Robert half-true). 

That's one possible explanation.  But "the only way" is overstated.  Fire is NOT the only way to do this, as I said.  The other way is protect the bones under a cairn or in a vault, and retrieve them later.   That's how it was done historically.  

Fire is not even a particularly good way to do this.  Fire is destructive, and not the best thing if the goal is to preserve the bones for long-term safe-keeping.  Yes, the Targs used fire for funerals, but their goal was not preservation.

Also, I think it best to assume that we don't actually know what Ned promised Lyanna.

 

[Arrow of the Morning]

That's one possible explanation.  But "the only way" is overstated.  Fire is NOT the only way to do this, as I said.  The other way is protect the bones under a cairn or in a vault, and retrieve them later.   That's how it was done historically.  

Fire is not even a particularly good way to do this.  Fire is destructive, and not the best thing if the goal is to preserve the bones for long-term safe-keeping.  Yes, the Targs used fire for funerals, but their goal was not preservation.

Also, I think it best to assume that we don't actually know what Ned promised Lyanna.

 

Of course there is other ways to do that, but cremation probably was the only available in that situation. He needed to get Lyanna's bones quickly and had few resources. The maesters use beetle larvae, but there was no maester there, Ned and Howland didn't had any larvae with them, it take some time either. Burying  the corpse and waiting the process of decomposition took some years to be complete and Ned didn't had time to wait (He returned from Dorne soon after Lyanna's death) and he never returned to the Tower of Joy to get her bones, if he did why he didn't retrieved the bones of Willam Dustin, Martyn Cassel and the others?

Fire can damage the bones a little, but a controlled cremation consumes the flesh and let only the skeleton, it is fast and cheap. It is not the a deluxe method to do the thing, but it probably was the method used because was the better option.

[ChillyPolly]

Of course there is other ways to do that, but cremation probably was the only available in that situation. He needed to get Lyanna's bones quickly and had few resources.

Okay.  Sure.  Maybe he HAD to do it this way because Lyanna said "Promise me Ned, you'll bring my bones to Winterfell, really, really fast.  Don't worry about these stupid babies lying around.  They're not a priority.  Take care of my bones QUICKLY."

I just don't see any basis for thinking that would be probable.

[Arrow of the Morning]

Okay.  Sure.  Maybe he HAD to do it this way because Lyanna said "Promise me Ned, you'll bring my bones to Winterfell, really, really fast.  Don't worry about these stupid babies lying around.  They're not a priority.  Take care of my bones QUICKLY."

I just don't see any basis for thinking that would be probable.

The stretch that Ned cites that Lyanna wanted to be buried in Winterfell is this:

""I was with her when she died," Ned reminded the king. "She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father." He could hear her still at times.Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses."

A Game of Thrones - Eddard I

Probably it was just half-true, he would not tell Robert about Lyanna's son. The question is, if she didn't make Ned promise to bury her with her family, why he would tell such thing to Robert, that not had to know about it?

The decision to get her mortal remains and bury the fast possible was Eddard decision. He probably didn't wanted to return to the Tower of Joy after all things that happened there.

It is much more probable that think Ned went back years later (when not just Lyanna's body, but all others that lay dead there would be just bones), took just his sisters bones and ignored the other ones.

[ChillyPolly]

The stretch that Ned cites that Lyanna wanted to be buried in Winterfell is this:

""I was with her when she died," Ned reminded the king. "She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father." He could hear her still at times.Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses."

A Game of Thrones - Eddard I

Probably it was just half-true, he would not tell Robert about Lyanna's son. The question is, if she didn't make Ned promise to bury her with her family, why he would tell such thing to Robert, that not had to know about it?

The decision to get her mortal remains and bury the fast possible was Eddard decision. He probably didn't wanted to return to the Tower of Joy after all things that happened there.

It is much more probable that think Ned went back years later (when not just Lyanna's body, but all others that lay dead there would be just bones), took just his sisters bones and ignored the other ones.

Note that nothing is said about any need for it to be done quickly.

Yes, it is very probable that Ned took Lyanna's bones and ignored the others.  One does not normally disturb graves without reason.  The only mystery is Lord Dustin's bones, since it seems he had a special reason to retrieve Dustin's bones, as well as Lyanna's.

The only reason I can think of that he might have been in a huge hurry, was if he knew King Robert would be in a hurry to visit Lyanna's grave, and there was something at the TOJ he did not want Robert to see.  But by that logic he might have wanted to move all the graves, to make sure nobody visited.

[Arrow of the Morning]

Note that nothing is said about any need for it to be done quickly.

Yes, it is very probable that Ned took Lyanna's bones and ignored the others.  One does not normally disturb graves without reason.  The only mystery is Lord Dustin's bones, since it seems he had a special reason to retrieve Dustin's bones, as well as Lyanna's.

The only reason I can think of that he might have been in a huge hurry, was if he knew King Robert would be in a hurry to visit Lyanna's grave, and there was something at the TOJ he did not want Robert to see.  But by that logic he might have wanted to move all the graves, to make sure nobody visited.

Exhuming the mortal remains to send them to their families is a reason good enough to disturb a burial site. Ned takings her bones and not retrieving the others remains - with him having the way to do this - would be offensive for the families of the deceased and, for what we know, they were good friends of Ned, letting their bones behind for no reason would be really odd.

Lyanna was betrothed of the new King of Westeros, her brother could not just say "she is buried in some place in the desert of Dorne", I think he presented her mortal remains to Robert after returning from Dorne. And if Robert knew she was buried in the desert he would send someone to get her bones and he himself would had buried her as he told to Ned he wanted to do. If the ruins of the Tower of Joy have some clues about Jon's parentage Ned would not like to see someone (mainly related with Robert) sneaking on the site. 

 

[ChillyPolly]

Exhuming the mortal remains to send them to their families is a reason good enough to disturb a burial site.

No it isn't.  Not by itself.  The family has to actually want this to be done, or there is no reason to do it.  Generally speaking, people don't like to muck around with corpses and disturb the dead.  Often this includes family.

Robert told Ned she should have been  buried in the South.  Ned had to explain his reasons for not doing it.  It's not a given that digging up and transporting corpses is "the thing to do".

[Arrow of the Morning]

No it isn't.  Not by itself.  The family has to actually want this to be done, or there is no reason to do it.  Generally speaking, people don't like to muck around with corpses and disturb the dead.  Often this includes family.

Robert told Ned she should have been  buried in the South.  Ned had to explain his reasons for not doing it.  It's not a given that digging up and transporting corpses is "the thing to do".

Barbrey Dustin wanted Willam remains back and resent Ned Stark for him bring Lyanna's remains from Dorne and letting her late husband bones there. If he went back to the Tower of Joy for his sister's bones why he not did the same with Willam? His widow wanted his bones back. And reburying a corpse (or bones) is not a so great taboo as you are saying, it was not uncommon, even in the middle ages.

 If Robert could, he would bury her himself in the way he suggested. Letting her body buried in Dorne could motivate Robert to take her remains and reveal something about what happened there, taking Lyanna's bones quickly Ned avoided that possibility.

 

 

[ChillyPolly]

Barbrey Dustin wanted Willam remains back [1] and resent Ned Stark for him bring Lyanna's remains from Dorne and letting her late husband bones there. If he went back to the Tower of Joy for his sister's bones why he not did the same with Willam? [2] His widow wanted his bones back. And reburying a corpse (or bones) is not a so great taboo as you are saying [3], it was not uncommon, even in the middle ages.

We're going round in circles here.

[1]  Yes Lady Dustin wanted Willam's remains back.  Hence there is a mystery about Willam's remains.   There is no mystery about the other 4 companions, whose graves remain in the South.

[2]  Have I not already suggested a possible answer to this question? 

  9 bodies.  8 cairns.  Someone got left out, and my guess was it was Lord Willam. Lord Willam was never buried under the cairns.  My guess is, he died later, maybe after Ned had retrieved Lyanna's bones from the cairns.  When he died, Ned was not around to build a cairn for his body or even a marker for his final resting place.  Hence, his bones and body are lost, and Ned and/or Lady Dustin have no way of retrieving them.

[3]  I never said it was a great taboo.  If the family wants it done it will be done.  All I am saying is that there is nothing mysterious or extraordinary about bodies remaining where they are buried.   The only reason there is a mystery about Willam's bones is because we have reason to believe Lady Dustin wanted them returned.  There is nothing mysterious about the bones of the other 4 companions remaining where they died and were buried.  But yes, there might indeed by a mystery about Lord Willam's bones.  Separate issues.  Don't confuse them.

[corbon]

We know the widow of Willam Dustin resents Eddard not bringing his bones home.  We also know Ned took the time to return The Sword of the Morning, and retrieve Lyanna and return her to the crypts of Winterfell, and is strongly motivated by honor.  So why would Ned have left Dustin buried in a cairn made from the tower?  This makes no sense.

How many other combatants in a war have we seen having their bodies/bones sent home?
Non combatants, yes. Prisoners, yes. But combatants who died in combat?

Which is why Westeros has an institution that handles the return of the bones: the Silent Sisters. There really is no reason why Ned denied his companions their rightful resting place among their ancestors. If he didn't have time during the rebellion he could have come back years later for the bones or at the very least order some Silent Sisters to retrieve them. Ned values these customs as one can clearly see when he orders Lady to be buried in WInterfell ( a freaking wolf!!).

 

He must have had a very good reason to not return the bones. 

He has a very good reason for their graves to remain unfound.

If all three KG's remains are found there, then that begs the question what were they doing all together? Dayen and WHent were last seen in the Riverlands before the war started, Hightower was separate from them and departed from KL midway through the war. What were the three of them doing together that was so important?
Thats a dangerous line of thoughts for Ned. He's better off leaving unmarked graves and not telling anyone who was there or where his friends lie. They are just soldiers who died at a nameless place in a nameless skirmish and were buried by the survivors

GRRM also made a point to tell us several times, he was under the milk of poppy and it was a dream.

 

you ever had surgery and been on heavy painkillers? surely you had some f*cked up dreams.

 

meaning none of this could have happened as it did in the text, which is why talking about ToJ, at this point, is like a dog chasing its tail.

You mean he pointed out once that not all dreams are literal.
Which doesn't mean that this dream doesn't contain many literal elements. It is after all an old dream, not just a poppy/fever dream. And there are a number of elements that are clearly non-literal (wraiths, petal storms, blood streaked skies, Lyanna screaming his name ect), but everything there is there because GRRM wrote it for us to read.

It's not a particularly simple explanation, since it relies on the unexplained coincidence of Howland and the servant finding Ned and Lyanna at the exact same time.  

There is no 'coincidence' there, it is a simple explanation. Ned was given time alone with his dying sister and Howland Reed and one or more others entered after that time was past.

  Why would he be thinking this way about some butler or chambermaid who just happened to accompany Howland when he entered the room?  

Yes.

 

Also, under Occham's Razor, simplicity is a virtue only when it accounts for the evidence.  We also have the question of why Ned did not make a cairn for Lyanna,

Not a question. He didn't leave her body behind.

or of how otherwise he protected the body or prepared it for transportation.  

He's in a pass effectively between two nations. Its not unlikely that he will find resources that will assist at one end of the pass as he travels along.

We also have the mystery of why GRRM is giving us this strange little subplot about Lady Dustin being angry over Ned's failure to return Lord Dustin's bones, and the mystery of why Ned did not do so.  Yes, you can provide alternate answers to all these questions, but once you have answered them all, your explanation can no longer claim to be particularly simple compared to mine.

You think she's genuinely angry about the bones?

Martyn Cassel and "others" are still buried in the South, as the text explicitly mentions.  But no-one else is bitter about it. That this is an issue for Lady Dustin, but the bones are still unavailable after 15+ years, may be a subtle hint that something is wrong.

Indeed. Either she's not really angry about the bones, or she's angry about Brandon and what she lost but needs a way to transfer her anger to Ned since Brandon isn't available to be angry at.

Your explanation ignores the context of the OP's question that is the basis of this thread.  Lady D is pissed about Ned not returning her husband's bones.  Jory Cassel is not pissed.  Lady Dustin is.  So, in light of that fact, why did not Ned bring the bones home to make her happy?

Did she ever even express this to Ned? Would it be worth it to him if she did?

That Lord Dustin, if he survived, must have died since, without leaving the South, is not a problem for me, because I am intrigued by the fact that Dany explicitly remembers a man named Willam dying somewhere where lemon trees grow.

Willem Darry  is well known and well attested as a member of the Targaryen court (Master at Arms IIRC).

As to the rest of your post (not quoted), you may misunderstand me.  I am not denying that Ned brought Lyanna's bones north.  He certainly did.  I just claim that it would have been her bones he transported, and not a rotting corpse.  In the interim, she would need a cairn to protect her body.  So there should have been 9 cairns, not 8.

It is not necessary that she would need a cairn to protect her body.