American Idol

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

ok, I guess we got some answers. Carly is not preggers.

Oh really? Why? What did they say?

Wedge, I thought Beat It would have been great for Carly. She could have done the Charlotte Church version I linked a page or two back (without the incoherently drunk Amy Winehouse part).

[The Wedge]

Oh really? Why? What did they say?

Carly said to Ryan something like, "Apparently I'm pregnant.... well, I'm not."

Short, to the point, and with a hint of humor. Well done, Carly.

Now just chill a bit when singing and you'll go far.

Wedge, I thought Beat It would have been great for Carly. She could have done the Charlotte Church version I linked a page or two back (without the incoherently drunk Amy Winehouse part).

Ahh, I missed that. Gotcha.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

Carly said to Ryan something like, "Apparently I'm pregnant.... well, I'm not."

God, that poor girl.

Now it's back to the shapeless tunic tops for sure.

[The Wedge]

God, that poor girl.

Now it's back to the shapeless tunic tops for sure.

To her credit, I got a sense of humor coming through when she stated it.

She ought to start accentuating her body and not just her arms. As proud as she may be of her tattoo, maybe cover up her arms once in a while so the focus goes elsewhere. She's not going to lose the round face, so people are going to talk.

Whatever she does, if she's confident it will show and people will pick up on it. If she's insecure, it will also show. It's up to her, really, to not care what the audience thinks and just be herself.

Like I've said above, it didn't hurt Ruben, Kimberley Locke, Melinda, LaKisha, or even Jordin Sparks to not be stick-skinny. It's all about the confidence.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

To her credit, I got a sense of humor coming through when she stated it.

Yeah, so did my sister went she went through this post-college phase of being a little round around the middle. People were always asking her when she was due. What can you do but act like you have a sense of humor? But I know how she really felt about it. It's a really terrible thing to say about someone.

She's not going to lose the round face, so people are going to talk.

Yeah, that specifically the trait that my mother in law was talking about when she called to say I looked like her. Thanks a lot.

Like I've said above, it didn't hurt Ruben, Kimberley Locke, Melinda, LaKisha, or even Jordin Sparks to not be stick-skinny. It's all about the confidence.

I don't think anybody asked any of them if they were pregnant.

[Blaine]

Hmmm. First of all Carly and Amanda aren't "fat." They just dress unflatteringly, for the most part, as Raidne's pointed out.

The performances:

Syesha and Chikeze took the soul route. And obviously this is not a good idea anymore on American Idol. A few years back, the show was all about the diva performance. Now that we're seeing more rock, the heavy R&B stuff seems to bore the audience. Or the demographic has changed. Either way, those songs (while performed very well) put them in squarely in the bottom 2.

Or the audience now hates black people. Or people with african-american hairstyles, since Castro found himself there.

Chikeze - you should've stuck to the weird americana mashups.

Syesha - run - don't walk - back to pop material with a quickness.

Cook, Brooke, Castro: Ok, I know it's cool to "do your thing"... but I'm bored already and there's still weeks of this shit ahead. Please find some way to add life to your routine.

Cook formula (as pioneered by Daughty!): Take old song. Get on teh internets and find suitably rocking (extra points for grunge) cover version of a pop standard. Get hailed as some sort of arrangement genius by flyover state fans who've never heard the cover version. Let the judges kiss your ass. Repeat next week.

Brook formula: Find a good song. Strip it down to one-instrument arrangement. While performing, pretend you're in your basement, writing the song. Act as though you're about to cry with the intense passion at any moment. Then act all schoolgirly in front of the judges. Repeat.

Castro formula: Pretend you're really, really high and/or a "slow adult." Perform a song as though you're in your dorm room/coffee house/student union/best friend's couch/church retreat/the subway. Whisper certain parts to prove you're sensitive. And to hide the fact that you're not a great singer. Nod your head a lot. Smile. Act goofy. Get letters from girls. Repeat.

I mean, everybody on this show has a formula. But these three, to me at least, seem stuck in a bit of a rut. And the judges aren't helping much. They yell at them for trying something different and yell at them for doing the same thing, alternating every week. All that's really left is song choice to determine who was theoretically "better".

Archuleta. I have no idea what that song was, but I feel somewhat certain that it must have involved some animated rabbits or baby dinosaurs in a previous life. I know you're a kid... but damn it, hire somebody to provide musical taste, ok?

Carly. Quit pretending you've never been in a studio before. That's just sad. Also, dress better. Also, quit telling us how much this "moins to ye." We know. But you do a good job and you're very professional. And you're not boring. I'd like you much better if you were a little less "scripted" and "likeable." Be weird. You married a guy covered in ink. Tell us why. Make up some shit. Tell us you're into BDSM, of as you call it "the lifestyle." Just do something other than be a Stepford Contestant.

Kristy Lee Cook: Keep looking the way you do. Work the middle america angle as hard as you can and I think Nashville will be there for you with open arms... even if you're not a great singer and you're voted out relatively early.

Ramiele: The opposite of the "formula" people. I have no idea what it is that you're good at. Aside from being pocket-sized and adorable. Please find one sing you can sing well and just do it every week or something. Because watching you flop around cluelessly on stage is getting old.

Michael: Quit trying to be a rock god and settle for being a really good looking Austrailian who can hold a tune. Scale back your song selections from "fucking epic" to "good tune." I think it'll work out for you. Because watching you sing a song about struggling to become a champion or being John Lennon... is just too much even for this goofy show.

All of you: Try not to stare at Dolly Parton's rack next week. And tell us how important she is and how much her advice really changed your life.

[DemiNymph]

I didn't know Kimberly Locke was from A.Idol. Not a bad career. Her stylist is great.

[The Wedge]

I don't think anybody asked any of them if they were pregnant.

I don't think anyone on the show asked Clay Aiken to address rumors that he might be gay, either. Maybe he just knew not to pay attention to the blood-sucking media, so didn't feel the need to address it on camera?

Perhaps Carly should stop worrying about the media and blogosphere, as well?

And, yes, I know it's the ultimate in rude to assume a woman is pregnant, even if she's 9 months along, but it does happen when someone is in the spotlight ("Hey, is that a baby bump on Angelina Jolie, or did she just have a lot to eat at Chipotle at lunch???"). It doesn't make it right and I if Carly wanted to defuse something she saw on TV to set the record straight, then good on her for it. Just sayin'.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

I don't think anyone on the show asked Clay Aiken to address rumors that he might be gay, either. Maybe he just knew not to pay attention to the blood-sucking media, so didn't feel the need to address it on camera?

Clay Aiken isn't gay?

If you have a full head of hair, imagine if someone came up to you and asked you where you got your toupee. That's maybe about half the humiliation. Christ, the Venus de Milo has what we now call a "baby bump."

I'll make an exception for Angelina Jolie, who seems to have about a 50% chance of actually being pregnant at any given time anyway.

ETA: I guess nobody cares that Chikezie got kicked of, eh?

[Blaine]

I think Ryan is probably hurt most by Chikeze's sweaty head being taken away from him.

It's hardly a surprise. But I liked him in the same way I liked Amanda Overmeyer. At least the dude tried to do something slightly different occasionally.

As for pregnancy speculation... I find it hard to believe someone famewhoring as hard as Carly Smithson is has any problem with any press mention.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

As for pregnancy speculation... I find it hard to believe someone famewhoring as hard as Carly Smithson is has any problem with any press mention.

Point taken.

So I hesitate to admit that I was reading entertainment weekly, but it seemed from their coverage of the live event like she came off much better to the live audience than she did on TV.

[Bormon]

Castro formula: Pretend you're really, really high and/or a "slow adult." Perform a song as though you're in your dorm room/coffee house/student union/best friend's couch/church retreat/the subway. Whisper certain parts to prove you're sensitive. And to hide the fact that you're not a great singer. Nod your head a lot. Smile. Act goofy. Get letters from girls. Repeat.

You know I stopped in a Wawa this morning, and they were playing Mellow Yellow on the store radio. And you know how a song sticks in your head? Well, I was humming Mellow Yellow in the car, when it struck me....this would be the perfect song for Castro.

Carly. Quit pretending you've never been in a studio before. That's just sad. Also, dress better. Also, quit telling us how much this "moins to ye." We know. But you do a good job and you're very professional. And you're not boring. I'd like you much better if you were a little less "scripted" and "likeable." Be weird. You married a guy covered in ink. Tell us why. Make up some shit. Tell us you're into BDSM, of as you call it "the lifestyle." Just do something other than be a Stepford Contestant.

You know I'm not a Carly fan, BUT, she is getting a raw deal for all the crap about her record deal.

I know that Brook also had a record (Songs From The Attic, I think it sold about 300 copies) and then I found this on another site...

Among the surviving Idolettes, Kristy Lee Cook was once signed to a major Nashville label, David Archuleta was a "Star Search" winner, Jason Castro starred in the MTV series "Cheyenne" as the pop singer's love interest, Michael Johns had a major label deal in Australia and Robbie Carrico was part of a pop group called Boyz-N-Girlz United that toured with Britney Spears.

But Irish-born tattoo-parlor owner Carly Smithson, who had a recording contract at age 15 and whose first album tanked, is the one who has become the lightning rod in the squall over the number of ringers in this year's "Idol" competition.

I think it would be safe to say that this year's contestants more than any others are considered "semi-pro"

All of you: Try not to stare at Dolly Parton's rack next week. And tell us how important she is and how much her advice really changed your life.

You do realize that Dolly is now 62....While I'm sure she looks great for her age....I lost interest in her "rack" about 20 years ago.

[Rhom]

You do realize that Dolly is now 62....While I'm sure she looks great for her age....I lost interest in her "rack" about 20 years ago.

Speaking of aging country stars... I remember a couple years back seeing Loretta Lynn's new video with Jack from The White Stripes. She really was scary looking to me after being the victim of too much plastic surgery. At the end of the video when she kissed him, I threw up a little in my mouth.

[The Wedge]

Mellow Yellow would be HILARIOUS for Jason to sing. Dammit, I still like him

It would probably be just as dippy as his version of "Michelle." That was just embarrassing for all involved.

He's not my favorite, but he's okay when he sticks to his guitar-strumming subway-busking versions of songs.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

For some reason, knowing that he's been on an MTV show ruins him more for me than the Christian Contemporary thing.

[Rhom]

God, I almost want to go looking for that now, in a morbid curiosity.

Ask and ye shall receive.

[Bormon]

God, I almost want to go looking for that now, in a morbid curiosity.

Mellow Yellow would be HILARIOUS for Jason to sing. Dammit, I still like him

P.S. Ramiele is a good singer, but I don't know what's with the breathy way she's been singing lately. It sounds horrible. Karaoke to the MAX. She also seems to try to put her "own style" into a lot of the songs, just by changing how long she hold a note (shortens it, lengthens it) and it ALWAYS sounds worse for the change to me. *shrugs*

Ramiele was apperently really sick before this weeks performance. Still don't like her, but that may explain the whole "breathy" thing

[Blaine]

You know I stopped in a Wawa this morning, and they were playing Mellow Yellow on the store radio. And you know how a song sticks in your head? Well, I was humming Mellow Yellow in the car, when it struck me....this would be the perfect song for Castro.

Only if he doped on for a few minutes about how he didn't know it was also a song and not just a soft drink in his introduction.

You know I'm not a Carly fan, BUT, she is getting a raw deal for all the crap about her record deal.

Really? Seems to me like she's getting to alternate between acting like a victim and pretending it never happened. "There's a big desk with all of these crazy knobs in the studio!"

I think my point is that I'd respect her more if she was a bit more forthcoming who she is and what she's been through. Instead of just trying to so naive and safe. As it is, all I see in someone desperately applying for the job of pop singer. She needs a bit more personality and little less politic.

I know that Brook also had a record (Songs From The Attic, I think it sold about 300 copies) and then I found this on another site...

Not a big surprise there. Sadly, Carly's million dollar major label record deal barely produced more sales.

You do realize that Dolly is now 62....While I'm sure she looks great for her age....I lost interest in her "rack" about 20 years ago.

I'm totally interested in it. But in more of a "look at that car accident" way.

[Bormon]

I'm totally interested in it. But in more of a "look at that car accident" way.

[Rhom]

The "Look at that car accident" happens tomorrow night when she actually performs...

There weren't any terribad performances last night, in my opinion. There were a few observations that I came up with though.

First and most importantly for all future American Idol contestants... If you are a black girl... and you are thinking about doing a song that has been performed by Whitney Houston... don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Syesha didn't do a bad job with "I Will Always Love You," but Simon was right when he said that it didn't compare well with the Whitney version.

David Archuletta gets more boring to me every week.

Michael Johns can apparently sing more than just Queen.

I was wondering where David Cook would get his arrangement this week (since I didn't figure Chris Cornell had recorded any Dolly Parton songs recently) and it was refreshing to hear that he did it himself.

I liked Brooke on "Jolene" a lot more than Simon did. I didn't get his problem with the violin player.

Kristy Lee Cook was in her element and it showed. I do think she could have a fair career as a country singer, she'll make it another week or two before it all catches up to her.

Jason Castro got back to his Christian folk roots and did well with it. I like him more every week, but I don't think he's long for the show.

Ramiele really is in over her head at this point and the cuteness factor has to run out at some point.

Carly... the red lights that made Brooke's hand look scarred/old last week made it look like she had no pants on this week. (She was wearing red leather I think.) Simon probably gave her the most honest (if a bit cruel) evaluation. He said what people on this board have been saying for two to three weeks... change your wardrobe. Otherwise, her performance wasn't bad.

Not a bad week all around really, just a few performances that I struggled to remember this morning.