American Idol

[Blaine]

I'd really like to see what he does after the season is over. Sadly, it'll probably be some sort of pop/soul drivel.

Ummm... you're expecting what exactly from a show called American Idol?

I mean, it would be pretty much impossible for anything else to emerge from this show that wouldn't qualify as pop/soul drivel.

[The Wedge]

David Cook sucks. Period. I don't care how hard he 'rocks', he's pretty awful. He has the tone of all the bad generic modern rock singers, a la Scott Stapp, especially on Eleanor Rigby, and the voice effect thing for his last performance was cheesy to the nth degree.

Like Idol isn't cheesy to the nth degree to begin with?

I love the fact that Cook upped the cheese factor. It's like, okay, you want me to be in a retarded Ford commercial that flogs the corpse of the great Joe Strummer? You want me to do show choir medleys on the elimination nights? Fine. Here's some vocorder for you!

Same with Chikiese. Even his name sounds like "cheesy." You want cheese? I got jug band >rock. I got R&B > C&W.

Kellie Pickler was on the show. How much more cheese do you want with your fake boobs?

Sanjaya Malakar was on the show. And he could barely sing!

It's Idol. Cheese it up and have some fun. The Remieles and Kristy Lees could use a bit of it to start standing out.

[Blaine]

Kellie Pickler was on the show. How much more cheese do you want with your fake boobs?

Is this a serious question? Because it'll involve serious math to come up with an answer capable of matching that artificial rack. I think NASA should be involved at this point.

[Brandon Stark]

So tonight is "Songs from the year you were born," apparently.

A quick and depressing rundown of that gives us:

Michael Johns - 1978

David C. - 1982

Carly - 1983

Brooke- 1983

Kristy Lee - 1984

Chikezie - 1985

Ramiele - 1987

Jason Castro - 1987

Syesha - 1987

David A. - 1990

This article pairs that list up with the top 10 songs from each year for speculative purposes.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

I think Carly would do a great "Beat It" and Brooke could maybe do an interesting rendition of "Every Breath You Take."

For Jason Castro, I vote for REM's "The One I Love," which was #76 in 1987.

As far as David A, gods, who said the 80s were so bad for music? 1990 has got to be the schlockiest year ever.

It includes such gems as:

(1) Ice Ice Baby

(2) Blame it on the Rain

(3) Unskinny Bop

(4) U Can't Touch This

(5) Hold On (Wilson Phillips)

All of which would make my list of worst 100 songs EVER.

Ultimately, I think David A should pick something like "Janie's Got a Gun," but all the Phill Collins and Michael Bolton from that year has got to be tempting. :sick:

Too bad Carly wasn't born in 1990 - her cover of Black Velvet would be sweet.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

I think Carly would do a great "Beat It." It's got to be better than the trainwreck of a version Amy Winehouse did with Charlotte Church.

For Jason Castro, I vote for REM's "The One I Love," which was #76 in 1987.

As far as David A, gods, who said the 80s were so bad for music? 1990 has got to be the schlockiest year ever.

It includes such gems as:

(1) Ice Ice Baby

(2) Blame it on the Rain

(3) Unskinny Bop

(4) U Can't Touch This

(5) Hold On (Wilson Phillips)

All of which would make my list of worst 100 songs EVER.

Ultimately, I think David A should pick something like "Janie's Got a Gun," but all the Phill Collins and Michael Bolton from that year has got to be tempting. :sick:

Too bad Carly wasn't born in 1990 - her cover of Black Velvet would be sweet.

[Brandon Stark]

Ultimately, I think David A. should pick something that gives me some indication that he's not a robot.

[Blaine]

I'm sorry, I just threw up in mouth a little bit at the mention of "Black Velvet." That song always makes me think of Alannah Myles claiming she was so damned sexy that the horse from her nude album cover was aroused and erect by her mere presence. Combined into the song's trampiness, I get an image of slutty horse-boinking any time that song is mentioned. Plus, she's Canadian, so y'know.

On a different note, Idolator has a pretty fun list of possible song choices for this birthday year week.

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

I'm sorry, I just threw up in mouth a little bit at the mention of "Black Velvet." That song always makes me think of Alannah Myles claiming she was so damned sexy that the horse from her nude album cover was aroused and erect by her mere presence. Combined into the song's trampiness, I get an image of slutty horse-boinking any time that song is mentioned. Plus, she's Canadian, so y'know.

I was only 11 in 1990, and therefore wasn't too well-versed on all things pertaining to equine arousal, etc.

My life was better before I knew that. I also had an immediate flashback to The Cider House Rules. Not the film, the book.

ETA: Also, the idea of Brooke singing Sharp Dressed Man gives me the shivers. And not in a good way.

[Bormon]

Ultimately, I think David A. should pick something that gives me some indication that he's not a robot.

Opposites Attract, Paula Abdul.... sorry I saw this and would love for Simon to cut up the song (devil)

[The Wedge]

Opposites Attract, Paula Abdul.... sorry I saw this and would love for Simon to cut up the song (devil)

I have always wanted one of the contestants to stare right at Paula without an ounce of sarcasm and ask if she still keeps in touch with MC Skat Kat.

[Bormon]

I have always wanted one of the contestants to stare right at Paula without an ounce of sarcasm and ask if she still keeps in touch with MC Skat Kat.

That would be an American Idol high moment

[Blaine]

Sounds like something Chris Sligh would say. And by that I mean it sounds funny, but it's really just sort of a sad snark.

Speaking of Skat Kat, the AVclub's always had a fascination with the animated rapper. My favorite being the annual Least Essential Album of the year Award (AKA the MC Skat Kat Award)

MC Skat Kat & The Stray Mob, The Adventures Of... (1991)

The Adventures Of MC Skat Kat stands as the least essential album ever recorded by a sassy animated cartoon feline, surpassing even Garfield's 1991 album Am I Cool Or What? The rapping cat, who made his debut alongside Paula Abdul on the cheesy 1989 single "Opposites Attract," got his own 50-minute album a full two years later, allowing impatient Skat Kat completists the opportunity to hear him rock the mic on such tracks as "I Ain't No Kitty," "No Dogs Allowed," and "New Kat Swing."

[Guest Domaine Raidneé]

I must be really bored today, but here are tonight's songs from TMZ

SPOILER: Idol song choices

Syesha - "If I Were Your Woman" by Stephanie Mills

David Cook - "Billie Jean" (should be interesting)

Carly - Total Eclipse of the Heart (SOOOO predictable and lame)

Chikezie - "If Only for One Night" by Luther Vandross

Brooke - "Every Breath You Take" (man, I almost called it, but I deleted it out of my earlier post)

Jason Castro - "Fragile" by Sting

Ramiele - "Alone" by Heart (didn't Carly do this song this season already, or is that just every other Heart song?)

Michael Johns - "We Are the Champions" (when in doubt, bring back Queen)

Kirsty Lee Cook - "God Bless the USA" (I'm NOT kidding)

David A - "You're the Voice by David Foster with Jeff Pescetto (I don't know this song)

Let it be said that I've gone from feeling embarrassed for Kristy Lee to actively disliking her. Nobody should pick a song that's featured prominently on the worst songs ever thread.

[Blaine]

Kristy Lee might be smarter than she is hot. Or maybe Karl Rove is working for her.

I mean, her only chance at clinging to the toilet bowl of suffering for one more week is to fire up her Wal-Mart base with a patriotic country ballad. Need proof? Lee Greenwood is still raking in the dough off that song with his own theater in Branson. The only way she could do even better is if she was attacked by the Taliban during her performance.

[Starkess]

UGH, what is Paula wearing??

Not too excited about anyone tonight. Voting for Carly because I think she has a lot of potential and I don't want her to get booted for having an iffy night.

I can't stand Kristy Lee Cook and her stupid little giggle and her not-that-great voice!

ETA: Oh, and I think David Cook is great!

[The Wedge]

I'm voting to keep Carly in to see if her baby bump gets bigger by the finale in May.

And as bold as David Cook is, it becomes boring after a while to be the rocker guy who just slows down 80's hits into brooding dirges. Schtick gets old.

Simon finally used the word I've been using to describe Castro: BUSKING.

[kuenjato]

does anyone else think Jason Castro looks like a young, stoned John Travolta????

[Mya Stone]

Oh my freaking GOD.

Here's my take on tonight:

Ramiele - I wish she hadn't tried to tackle my most favoritest Heart song ever. It's only really worked for me once. (See Underwood, Carrie.) (Although I liked Carly's version of it, Carrie rocked black leather pants while singing it and pwned.)

Fidel Jason Castro - I like him. I can't help it. But that was just okay. But he's so freakin goofy, it's endearing.

Syesha - Wowzers. That was awesome. She was dead on for everything. Loved it.

Chikezie - Ehhhhh....Ehhhhh...*sigh*

Brooke - I love her. That was really good, but I, like Simon and Randy, wanted her to rock the piano alone all the way through. Good effort, though. And I appreciated her do-over.

Michael Johns - He should just front a Queen cover band. Smart man, though. The judges kept telling him he should rock it like he rocked "Bohemian Rhapsody." He was really good, though, so I can't complain too much.

Carly - I like her a lot, and she was good, but this song is forever ruined for me by Old School. I just wanted her to sing "And I need you now tonight, I fuckin need you more than ever." Just once. That would have been golden.

David A. - *shrugs* He was good. It was fine. But out of all the songs from 1990 to choose from, he chose this? Seriously? *shakes head*

Kristy Lee Sellout - Forfuckssake. I hate that song. I HATE THAT SONG. Simon was 100% correct in telling her that that was the smartest song choice in the history of Idol. And while is didn't suck vocally as bad as 8 Days A Week, it was still weak as hell. But I have to give it to her. She's got the redneck vote locked up now.

David Cook - Loved it. Loved every second of it. But I really want to know who did it first, cuz that's GOT to be a cover version, right?

My bottom 3 - Ramiele, Chikezie, Kristy Lee.

Going home - I wish Kristy Lee, most likely Chikezie - Luther can't save him now.

[RedSock in Westeros]

David Cook - Loved it. Loved every second of it. But I really want to know who did it first, cuz that's GOT to be a cover version, right?

My bottom 3 - Ramiele, Chikezie, Kristy Lee.

Going home - I wish Kristy Lee, most likely Chikezie - Luther can't save him now.

Iirc, it was Chris Cornell that first did that version of "Billie Jean."

Agree on the bottom three. Ramiele was horrible as far as being vocally accurate. It was pitchy to a disgusting level.