So was Lyanna stupid or something?

[MJasper]

I haven't read through all of this thread yet, but here's one thing that really bugs me about Rhaegar and Lyanna. Why would he crown Lyanna at Harrenhal?

-- In order to woo her, either because he was in love with her or he needed her to fulfill his prophecy.

Well, that went successfully, but surely as Crown Prince, there were better ways to romance a 15-year-old girl than by publicly presenting her with a huge honour in front of her betrothed, and in front of his wife and family. Even if he was madly in love with her, or desperately needed her to fall in love with him, it seems unnecessary and counter-productive to woo her in front of his wife and her fiance. He must have known that it was wholly inappropriate, and would start rumours - which would probably make Robert all the more protective, and make it unlikely for Rhaegar to get close to Lyanna. But he still did so.

-- Because she was the Knight of Laughing Tree, and he wanted to show her he knew this/give her the crown she deserved.

Again, I feel the negative effects heavily outweigh the small romantic pleasure of letting Lyanna know. It would only be Rhaegar and Lyanna who understood this gesture - to everyone else it would seem like he was just insulting Robert and Elia, which he was.

Was it beneficial in any way to Rhaegar to make it clear that he was romantically interested in Lyanna? I'm really having trouble figuring out his thinking here.

Edit: And yes, okay, maybe Elia was completely on board with the whole thing. It still doesn't make sense for him to woo Lyanna right in front of Robert.

[Daenerys Faithful Servant]

Aside from Robert, who has a less than spotless record of listening to anything intelligent someone has to say, we actually don't have anyone else claiming Lyanna was brutally abused by Rhaegar and then murdered why imprisoned in a tower. From what is in the books Rickard himself didn't apparently do anything about the situation, be this from a lack of brain cells functioning or in an attempt to further Stark ambition is hard saying, and that it was Brandon who rounded up some friends to go kill Rhaegar.

The situation with Lyanna probably just elevated what Brandon had felt were slights to his honor. First

Rhaegar beat Brandon at the Tourney, then this married Prince "dishonors" his sister with a scandal by declaring her the Queen of Love and Beauty over his wife and finally he runs off with Lyanna who is supposed to be marrying Robert.

Given that he would have killed Littlefinger if Cat hadn't pleaded with hm not to all because the guy challenged to a fight he wasn't ever in danger of losing I can't imagine he took the events at Harrenhal as anything less than a serious insult to his family's honor. Rickard followed up this stupidity of his by literally walking into a death trap when he knew the Mad King intended to have him killed.

[MJasper]

^ I thought Littlefinger challenged Brandon to a duel to the death, so it wasn't especially 'wild' for Brandon to try to kill him. If he had done so it would certainly have made things simpler in the long run :P

A few people are suggesting that Lyanna and Rhaegar might have tried to tell someone, or leave a note, or get a message across, which may or may not have reached the Starks. So maybe Brandon knew that Lyanna and Rhaegar were 'in love'.

Isn't it equally possible that, going off the fact that Rhaegar and Lyanna had disappeared, a rumour developed - perhaps someone claimed to have seen evidence of a kidnapping - and thus this warped version of the story reached the Starks? There's quite a bit of "why would anyone have reason to think Rhaegar abducted Lyanna", but it's not that far of a stretch to think that that would have been general consensus at the time due to miscommunication, and Robert stomping around telling everyone what to think.

Neither interpretations have any textual evidence. Ned's inner monologue isn't antagonistic towards Rhaegar at all, but it's all post-Tower of Joy, so we can't know what they thought at the time. Rickard's lack of action doesn't mean much: Doran Martell didn't appear to do anything either, does that mean he didn't really think that Elia had been raped and murdered?

Brandon Stark shouted for Rhaegar to come out and die. That doesn't mean he didn't ask for Lyanna's return. Brandon calling for Rhaegar's death was the action that got him killed, which is why Jaime remembered it. Maybe Brandon was only interested in the slight to his honour, or his 'property', but as far as I can see nothing in the text suggests that Brandon wasn't genuinely concerned for Lyanna, or that the Starks thought Lyanna had eloped with Rhaegar. We can only judge based on the characterizations of the characters as we know them, because there's so little information.

Of course the opposite also holds true, so I suppose until new information emerges this debate is pointless.

[Daenerys Faithful Servant]

^ I thought Littlefinger challenged Brandon to a duel to the death, so it wasn't especially 'wild' for Brandon to try to kill him. If he had done so it would certainly have made things simpler in the long run :P

A few people are suggesting that Lyanna and Rhaegar might have tried to tell someone, or leave a note, or get a message across, which may or may not have reached the Starks. So maybe Brandon knew that Lyanna and Rhaegar were 'in love'.

Isn't it equally possible that, going off the fact that Rhaegar and Lyanna had disappeared, a rumour developed - perhaps someone claimed to have seen evidence of a kidnapping - and thus this warped version of the story reached the Starks? There's quite a bit of "why would anyone have reason to think Rhaegar abducted Lyanna", but it's not that far of a stretch to think that that would have been general consensus at the time due to miscommunication, and Robert stomping around telling everyone what to think.

Neither interpretations have any textual evidence. Ned's inner monologue isn't antagonistic towards Rhaegar at all, but it's all post-Tower of Joy, so we can't know what they thought at the time. Rickard's lack of action doesn't mean much: Doran Martell didn't appear to do anything either, does that mean he didn't really think that Elia had been raped and murdered?

Brandon Stark shouted for Rhaegar to come out and die. That doesn't mean he didn't ask for Lyanna's return. Brandon calling for Rhaegar's death was the action that got him killed, which is why Jaime remembered it. Maybe Brandon was only interested in the slight to his honour, or his 'property', but as far as I can see nothing in the text suggests that Brandon wasn't genuinely concerned for Lyanna, or that the Starks thought Lyanna had eloped with Rhaegar. We can only judge based on the characterizations of the characters as we know them, because there's so little information.

Of course the opposite also holds true, so I suppose until new information emerges this debate is pointless.

Certainly Littlefinger being dealt with the first time he overreached would have been better than him being left alive. Though, it doesn't really change the fact that he wasn't in any actual danger of losing and seemed very content to keep things going until Cat finally made him stop.

Maybe someone knew that they had ran off before the rumor mill started, maybe not, but I don't think Brandon would have changed his reaction even if Lyanna had a hold of his collar, was violently shaking him and yelling that she couldn't understand Robert so she was hooking up with Rhaegar instead. Now, he probably was concerned for his sister, but I don't think that was the driving force behind him wanting to kill Rhaegar so much as it was yet another reason for him to do so.

I also figure Rickard had something in mind after the Lyanna situation came about, no matter if he thought for certain it was an abduction or figured Lyanna had been the one that planned the departure herself, but we can't know that for certain so I was putting out the brain dead option as a possibility. Still, him showing up in front of Aerys and demanding trial by combat for his son's "crimes" couldn't be considered a good plan as were talking about trying to reason with the Mad King.

[Sand Snake No. 9]

In terms of an insult to a family's honor, I don't think it makes any difference whether Lyanna was kidnapped or not. She was a maiden (i.e., a virgin and therefore a valuable commodity) and betrothed, and any interference by Rhaegar with her value or the family's promise was an affront to the Starks. If the Red Wedding demonstrates anything, it's that in Westeros promises to marry must be honored at the peril of the entire family.

Lyanna's willingness to go with Rhaegar means nothing, because, as we've seen over and over in this series, a noble young woman's consent/desires/objections to a marriage mean nothing. (Actually, the noble young man's desires don't mean a hell of a lot, once the marriage has been arranged by the family, either, as the match between Brandon and Catelyn showed. They just have more options after the fact.)

Lyanna might have done what Arya's done on so many occasions, run away, and if she did run away she wouldn't have left any notes behind her. Maybe she ran to Rhaegar just looking for refuge and then things got complicated. It doesn't matter. As for her ability to stop Brandon, or Rhaegar's ability to stop his father, well, they didn't have cell phones in Westeros, did they? The worst could have happened before Rhaegar and Lyanna even heard of it, especially if they were hiding out.

So I don't think she was stupid; I think she was trying to get out an unwanted marriage in a place or time that didn't give a noble woman that option. Meanwhile, men were expected to do violent/reckless/stupid things to protect their families' honor. And so shit happened.

[Alia of the knife]

I haven't read through all of this thread yet, but here's one thing that really bugs me about Rhaegar and Lyanna. Why would he crown Lyanna at Harrenhal?

-- In order to woo her, either because he was in love with her or he needed her to fulfill his prophecy.

Well, that went successfully, but surely as Crown Prince, there were better ways to romance a 15-year-old girl than by publicly presenting her with a huge honour in front of her betrothed, and in front of his wife and family. Even if he was madly in love with her, or desperately needed her to fall in love with him, it seems unnecessary and counter-productive to woo her in front of his wife and her fiance. He must have known that it was wholly inappropriate, and would start rumours - which would probably make Robert all the more protective, and make it unlikely for Rhaegar to get close to Lyanna. But he still did so.

-- Because she was the Knight of Laughing Tree, and he wanted to show her he knew this/give her the crown she deserved.

Again, I feel the negative effects heavily outweigh the small romantic pleasure of letting Lyanna know. It would only be Rhaegar and Lyanna who understood this gesture - to everyone else it would seem like he was just insulting Robert and Elia, which he was.

Was it beneficial in any way to Rhaegar to make it clear that he was romantically interested in Lyanna? I'm really having trouble figuring out his thinking here.

Edit: And yes, okay, maybe Elia was completely on board with the whole thing. It still doesn't make sense for him to woo Lyanna right in front of Robert.

Selmy said that "Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna and thousands died for it."

And Selmy said it in the context of loves folly, and that it was basically a "poison," though a slow one.

I am one that has maintained that I don't think Lyanna went with him willingly, and for as many people who point to Roberts phillandering as a reason for discontent, and obscure references to her loving Rhaegar, there still is no concrete evidence she did. As I've said before, she may not have loved Robert, but did she love Rhaegar?

Rhaegars love could have been rejected, (imagine the irony of him being this beautiful Prince who could have anyone he wanted, except for the one he loved), and since she fought for Reeds honor, there is no reason to think she 's any less honor bound than her Brothers, no matter if she did love Rhaegar.

The wolfs blood that got her killed could have been her temerity to walk away- from Rhaegar.

So, I think it is entirely possible that his crowning Lyanna was a deliberate attempt to isolate her.

I do think she was the KOTLT, and that is how they met, and I believe Rhaegar did lie to his Father to protect her.

I also think there are much more discreet ways he could have honored her, though I don't think it's something that mattered to her.

She needs to remain under the radar- no more drama, especially as Aerys is paranoid about the Northmen, particularly the Starks, so Rhaegar crowns her his Queen of Love and Beauty with all the perception that goes with it, putting her squarely in Aerys face.

Forget Elias reaction, what of his Father?

So, "honoring" her like this makes no sense. If they had a relationship, then everyone knows it now, and if they did not, everyone speculates that they do.

She is not in a good position.

Lyanna may very well have rejected him beyond the grattitude she felt for him protecting her secret. I think he perhaps thought to manipulate Robert into being furious enough at the implied impropriety on their part, to himself break off the betrothal, thus forcing her to turn to him.

Either that, or he was utterly impusive and did not think, which seems truly counter to his character.

All this doesn't make him a bad person, just a rather pathetic, and even more tragic person.

But, thats just me, and thats my theory of the crowning.

[Dragonfish]

The wolfs blood that got her killed could have been her temerity to walk away- from Rhaegar.

This argument has never made sense to me. Can you really imagine Ned saying that Lyanna's unwillingness to be taken is what led to her death? Why would he want to teach his daughter something that?

[Alia of the knife]

This argument has never made sense to me. Can you really imagine Ned saying that Lyanna's unwillingness to be taken is what led to her death? Why would he want to teach his daughter something that?

Sorry, let me clarify.

I think Lyannas unconventiality, (which may be the nature of her "wolfs blood," or caused by the "wolfs blood"), was enough to attract Rhaegars attention, (i.e., KOTLT), and cause him to love her.

The problem is, he was not free to do so, nor was she free to accept it, which led to chaos.

Rhaegar gives evidence that while he is an academic, or intellectual to some degree, he also has some emotional issues. And given that Lyanna presumably fought for a strangers honor, there is no reason to believe she has less honor than the rest of her family, (or pride), than to be "the other woman."

There is more to this "wolfs blood" imagry than wanton, sexual abandon. For that, she could be Dornish.

To me, Lyannas symbolism and "wildness" has always been one of freedom.

(Maybe it's because I had a friend who was much like this character- she could race motorcylces with the best of guys, go off and hike by herself, and served in the National Guard, was a beauty, generous and a great person, but she was NOT a loose cannon).

Anyway, we also see Neds conversation with Arya, (paraphrasing), "one day you will marry a great lord, and your sons will be Knights."

Arya: (again, paraphrasing).: "No, thats Sansa, thats not me."

Any woman in the Kingdom would have given anything to be Rhaegars wife, lover, mistress, etc., (or so we are led to believe).

Perhaps Lyanna was the one that said: "no, thats other women, thats not me."

Robert had his down side, but I bet in the right circumstances, he could have been a better person. Nonetheless, whether Lyanna loved Robert,or not, she may have bargained she would have much more freedom and control over her life as the Lady of Stormsend, (though admittedly perhaps having to put up with a bit of philandering), than whatever Rhaegar would try to make her be at Kingslanding, had everyone lived.

The wolf imagry also invokes family, and I think as a family, the Starks are "one," so I think Lyanna would be mindful of scandal and how it would affect the rest of her family, even if she did have feelings for Rhaegar, she would put family first I think.

Again, I don't think Rhaegar was an ogre, just tragic.

Sorry for being long winded as Lyannas character to me is more complicated than a soundbite, really do enjoy your posts, and respect your views.

[Dragonfish]

Sorry, let me clarify.

I think Lyannas unconventiality, (which may be the nature of her "wolfs blood," or caused by the "wolfs blood"), was enough to attract Rhaegars attention, (i.e., KOTLT), and cause him to love her.

Right, and I have a hard time imagining Ned saying that it was her own attractive personality that led to her downfall. If Rhaegar was the one who kidnapped her and raped her and somehow killed her, then it is Rhaegar's fault that she's dead. It would not in any way be Lyanna's fault that Rhaegar was attracted to her. The idea that "Lyanna's wolf blood led her to an early grave" means "Lyanna's personality attracted Rhaegar to her" just seems silly to me.

And my original question still stands: why would Ned want to teach his daughter something like this? "Hey Arya, don't be vivacious and rash and impulsive, because one day some lord might like that and decide to steal you away and rape you." Just doesn't sound like Ned to me.

There is more to this "wolfs blood" imagry than wanton, sexual abandon.

I've never argued that the wolf's blood=wanton sexual abandon. I think it simply represents rashness and impulsiveness. I think it is a pretty clear indication that Lyanna is complicit in her own downfall, and to me the scenario that best fits that description is one in which she went willingly.

To me, Lyannas symbolism and "wildness" has always been one of freedom.

Yes, I agree. And that freedom entails making your own choices about whom to marry, an option that Lyanna did not have in this society.

Robert had his down side, but I bet in the right circumstances, he could have been a better person.

Maybe, but we know that Lyanna didn't believe this. "Love is sweet, Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature." She believed he was never going to change.

Nonetheless, whether Lyanna loved Robert,or not, she may have bargained she would have much more freedom and control over her life as the Lady of Stormsend, (though admittedly perhaps having to put up with a bit of philandering), than whatever Rhaegar would try to make her be at Kingslanding, had everyone lived.

I'm sorry, but I don't see how you go from "Lyanna wanted freedom" to "Lyanna accepted her arranged marriage." Those two propositions seem contradictory to me. It seems to me that you're trying to make adhering to social obligation seem like the "freest" option, when it is the exact opposite.

[Winterfell is Burning]

As for the Targaryen poligamy, the last Targaryen king that had multiple wives was Maegor the Cruel, that was 240 years before Rhaegar run off with Lyanna, and poligamy was a factor into a war between the crown and the Faith. I don't know if it was specifically stated (probably not), but seems obvious that one of the conditions for the conciliation between the Faith and the Targaryens under Jaehenerys I was to drop it. Poligamy was as much in the past as the First Night right.

Besides, Lyanna was a minor and was a woman of nobility: even if she did wanted to marry Rhaegar, I don't see how the marriage would be legal. Sansa could only get married with the "King" being a substitute for her father/brother, and Rhaegar certainly didn't had neither Rickard nor Aerys' consent.

[ARYa_Nym]

It's hard to say since we don't know what Aerys thought.

A rational king might give a lighter punishment to Brandon and wouldn't try to kill Rickard as well. He might even force his son to give the daughter back. Aerys took it further by wanting her fiance dead too.

Rickard was dead anyway soon after Rhaegar took her. Rhaegar might have gone into hiding so that the marriage couldn't be set aside.

[Dragonfish]

As for the Targaryen poligamy, the last Targaryen king that had multiple wives was Maegor the Cruel, that was 240 years before Rhaegar run off with Lyanna, and poligamy was a factor into a war between the crown and the Faith. I don't know if it was specifically stated (probably not), but seems obvious that one of the conditions for the conciliation between the Faith and the Targaryens under Jaehenerys I was to drop it.

It never says this in the books. It only says that the Faith put down their arms in exchange for amnesty. You are making a huge assumption here. Just because polygamy hasn't been practiced in a while doesn't mean it has been outlawed.

Poligamy was as much in the past as the First Night right.

Except that we know that First Night was outlawed, because we are explicitly told so. We are never once told that polygamy was outlawed. For all we know, polygamy has become the equivalent of the Trial of Seven from the prequel novellas: technically legal but rarely practiced.

Besides, Lyanna was a minor and was a woman of nobility: even if she did wanted to marry Rhaegar, I don't see how the marriage would be legal. Sansa could only get married with the "King" being a substitute for her father/brother, and Rhaegar certainly didn't had neither Rickard nor Aerys' consent.

Was anyone present to give away Tysha to Tyrion? Doubtful. I don't think marriages are invalid simply because the bride does not have someone to give her away. As long as they say the vows, they are married.

[Winterfell is Burning]

Was anyone present to give away Tysha to Tyrion? Doubtful. I don't think marriages are invalid simply because the bride does not have someone to give her away. As long as they say the vows, they are married.

No, but the septon that married then was drunk, and the marriage was dismissed shortly after.

[Dragonfish]

No, but the septon that married then was drunk, and the marriage was dismissed shortly after.

So? Your objection was not based on drunk septons. It was based on the idea that marriages are not valid unless there is a father/brother figure present to give the bride away. Tyrion and Tysha's marriage clearly shows that this is false.

Anyway, Rhaegar and Lyanna didn't need a septon if they opted for a northern gods ceremony.

[Winterfell is Burning]

So? Your objection was not based on drunk septons. It was based on the idea that marriages are not valid unless there is a father/brother figure present to give the bride away. Tyrion and Tysha's marriage clearly shows that this is false.

Anyway, Rhaegar and Lyanna didn't need a septon if they opted for a northern gods ceremony.

No, the objection is based on the fact that the only reason the marriage happened was because the septon was drunk, and if he wasn't he would never allow two kids (specially one son of a major lord) getting married without parental consent.

[Dragonfish]

No, the objection is based on the fact that the only reason the marriage happened was because the septon was drunk, and if he wasn't he would never allow two kids (specially one son of a major lord) getting married without parental consent.

He may never have allowed it, but that doesn't mean that the marriage he ended up performing was invalid. I mean, how exactly are orphans supposed to get married in this world if you always need parental consent?

[terra2884]

Is it a surprise that he didn't, after Starks got massively burned by it in the previous generation? And how is it supposed to be representative for his brother?

Also, here is your typical noble, who loved his family - Hoster Tully. What did he do to Lysa, when she resisted playing her role as his merchandise, hm? Ditto, his quarrel with his brother.

Well, why should he be responsible for the Rebellion? If not for Brandon's rashness and Aerys's abrupt turn to the worse in his madness, it wouldn't have happened, IMHO.

I am sick and tired of demonizing Lyanna and Rhaegar and insistance that all male Starks _must_ be sweetness and light and only get targeted through no fault of their own. What R&L did was less unreasonable, by far, than what Robb did by marrying Jeyne Westerling. It should have merely resulted in some unpleasantness. They were not responsible for idiocy/madness of their family members, which led to war.

And Lyanna died clutching the crown of the Queen of Beauty - no way did Rhaegear abduct and rape her.

i agree, he did not abduct her...

My theory is she ran away to avoid the marriage with Robert and Rhaegar found her or saved her on the open road... things got worse from there. Or, Aery's was going to hurt Layanna after the tourney incident and Rhaegar saved her and took her to the tower of joy.

[Alia of the knife]

Right, and I have a hard time imagining Ned saying that it was her own attractive personality that led to her downfall. If Rhaegar was the one who kidnapped her and raped her and somehow killed her, then it is Rhaegar's fault that she's dead. It would not in any way be Lyanna's fault that Rhaegar was attracted to her. The idea that "Lyanna's wolf blood led her to an early grave" means "Lyanna's personality attracted Rhaegar to her" just seems silly to me.

Not deliblertately so, and not in the coy, practiced manner of most of the women of the court.

But nonetheless, her personality did attract him to her, even though she may have been "just being herself, and whatever Rhaegar was looking for, he evidently found it in her.

It had to be something other than her "wild beauty," (Kevan Lannister), which may have been considerable, but Rhaegar was surrounded by beauties at court and KL.

And, at the end of the day, it may NOT have been her fault that he was attracted to her, since she may not have been TRYING to attract him to her.

And my original question still stands: why would Ned want to teach his daughter something like this? "Hey Arya, don't be vivacious and rash and impulsive, because one day some lord might like that and decide to steal you away and rape you." Just doesn't sound like Ned to me.

I think what Ned was wanting to do was to teach Arya to BE conventional and lay low. Be like Sansa, and be like every other woman in the Kingdom- she'd be a lot less punished that way, and keep in mind, as docile, subserviant and conventional as Sansa was, she still had her share of abuse.

I've never argued that the wolf's blood=wanton sexual abandon. I think it simply represents rashness and impulsiveness. I think it is a pretty clear indication that Lyanna is complicit in her own downfall, and to me the scenario that best fits that description is one in which she went willingly.

I never thought Lyanna was entirely innocent in her own downfall. If she had allowed her Brothers to handle the Howland Reed matter and stayed out of it, then she and Rhaegars paths might not have crossed.

But, she didn't do things the safe way, she was a fighter. She walked the walk, and didn't give her values "lip service."

Perhaps our intepretation of "wolfs blood" is just different.

Yes, I agree. And that freedom entails making your own choices about whom to marry, an option that Lyanna did not have in this society.

Maybe, but we know that Lyanna didn't believe this. "Love is sweet, Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature." She believed he was never going to change.

Which is proof to me that she was pretty savvy, and NOT given to romantic hystrionics, therefore NOT likely to do something "rash" like run away with a married Prince.

She may not have wanted to marry Robert, but that doesn't then imply that she wanted to marry Rhaegar, especially if Rhaegar was guilty of the same thing.

At least, up until this point, Robert was single when he had his affairs.

I'm sorry, but I don't see how you go from "Lyanna wanted freedom" to "Lyanna accepted her arranged marriage." Those two propositions seem contradictory to me. It seems to me that you're trying to make adhering to social obligation seem like the "freest" option, when it is the exact opposite.

And I find it equally puzzling that the idea of her being put off by Roberts cheating would then make her go with a married man, (and in her old gods-Northern world , polygymy would not have even been on her radar), and be the woman that Rhaegar cheats with.

Because she did live in the framework of this society, her freedom comes from her status. She would have to maneuver carefully those waters.

And Robert, while he may be a philanderer, was certainly not a monster. He was as good looking as Rhaegar, and the most powerful warrior in the realm, as well as a member of the royal family. It's not like he was old man Frey, or Ramsey Bolten.

She could either be the Prince's mistress/lover, or be involved in some strange second-wife custom that would have been foreign to her, AND with said Prince who was generations inbred- an abomination to those like her who followed the old ways.

She would never be able to come and go as she liked without security detail. She would be fodder for contempt and gossip as she would likely be alone in court,(the Starks do not like court, or court games, especially a weird Targ court), so no protective family members like Elia, Cersei, and Margery had.

Food would never be able to pass her lips without her wondering if it was poisoned, and any friends would always be in doubt. Every ambitious Father, or Mother in the Kingdom would want her dead.

Life at KL would be hell.

At least at Stormsend, she is the undisptuted Lady of the Castle with a fair amount of freedom and respect.

I am realistic. When I am speaking of freedom, I'm not suggesting that she could make the decision to not marry, and join the Golden Company.

Even Arya would have to come to the realization of marriage and conformity had her life remained normal. And whats worse, Cat DID promise her to a Frey.

What I mean is how she could best manipulate the options she had, and I think in HER mind, based on her upbringing, a married Prince would not be an option.

In the end, he may have had no other option than to kidnap her.

[Dragonfish]

And I find it equally puzzling that the idea of her being put off by Roberts cheating would then make her go with a married man, (and in her old gods-Northern world , polygymy would not have even been on her radar), and be the woman that Rhaegar cheats with.

Rhaegar didn't love Elia. He was forced into marriage with her, just as Lyanna was being forced into marriage with Robert. This was probably something they could both commiserate over.

As for the rest, it's important to note that "wolf's blood" primarily means being rash and impulsive, which means that Lyanna would not have necessarily thought through the consequences of her actions. So she may have fallen in love with Rhaegar and decided to run off with him instead of marrying Robert, all without fully realizing that life at court would kind of suck. Just as Brandon would charge into the Red Keep and commit treason, all without fully realizing that committing treason is generally not a good idea.

[Alia of the knife]

Rhaegar didn't love Elia. He was forced into marriage with her, just as Lyanna was being forced into marriage with Robert. This was probably something they could both commiserate over.

As for the rest, it's important to note that "wolf's blood" primarily means being rash and impulsive, which means that Lyanna would not have necessarily thought through the consequences of her actions. So she may have fallen in love with Rhaegar and decided to run off with him instead of marrying Robert, all without fully realizing that life at court would kind of suck. Just as Brandon would charge into the Red Keep and commit treason, all without fully realizing that committing treason is generally not a good idea.

And I do think that is an aspect of their personalities.

(Lyanna donning armour to fight for a guy she didn't really know, and Brandon going "Sonny Corleone" at KL, over her abduction), but I like to think she had to have really weighed her pros and cons at some point, and Robert might end up being the lesser evil.

As I've said, I actually do hope she loved him, and that they were willing to die to be together, because given their circumstances, thats the only way it could have panned out.