Sansa, Arya and feminism

[Iotun]

I think this is a very wrongheaded statement to make. Had Cersei been born a man, her entire life would have been different. She would have never been frustrated at the limitations placed on her, never envied her brothers the way she did. She thirsted for power her whole life, but could only ever possess it through a male proxy. You have to admit that she is very bothered by that. I personally believe that Cersei's gender issues are one of the major influences on her adult personality.

Were she born male, I'd wager that Tywin would have rewarded her ambition and ruthlessness with increased responsibility and, given his character, there is no doubt in my mind that he would have guided and mentored an ambitious son very closely. Bear in mind that Cersei was never groomed to rule, she was supposed to be a wife. For all we know, Cersei was as ignorant as Sansa when she first arrrived at court (though I doubt it). What GRRM has shown repeatedly is that the noble women of the Seven Kingdoms are often sheltered to a disabling degree.

I guess what I'm saying is that if Cersei was male, she wouldn't be Cersei at all.

Bear in mind also that were she to be a man, as the eldest, she would be the Lannister heir and have Casterly Rock as her right, a fact that must really bother her. Because she is a woman, she has to marry a fat drunkard who beats her up and whores around every other day.

[Raksha the Demon]

Robert was hardly a fat drunkard at the time that Cersei married him. Cersei herself admits, and I can't remember in which book, that Robert sexually aroused her on their wedding night (the only time). There's some evidence that Robert reached out to Cersei; she also remembers that he asked her to go hunting with him and that she kept refusing him and eventually he stopped asking her - which says at least that Robert wanted her to share a non-sexual activity that he found enjoyable.

Of course, Robert should not have physically abused Cersei. Robert is hardly a paragon of virtue. But I think that a young woman of less arrogance and selfishness than Cersei might have been better able to manipulate Robert and thus make a better life for herself. Daenerys might well have, if she had been as arrogant as Cersei (or any of Tywin's children), ended up being slapped around by an angry, frustrated Drogo. But Daenerys had the smarts to reach out to her husband, and try to learn his ways, despite her initial dislike of being handed over to him like trade goods.

Understand that I don't condone marital rape or men beating women. But neither Daenerys nor Cersei had much choice in who they were married to, thanks to the customs of their cultures and the autocratic and selfish nature of the brother and father who decreed those marriages. The men they married were flawed, but not total monsters, at least not at the beginning in terms of spousal behavior. Daenerys took the path of making lemonade when given lemons; Cersei decided to spit out the lemons. The fact that Cersei's actions not only endangered herself and her brother, but the children they would make, does not seem to have deterred her.

Sansa's brief marriage to Tyrion is interesting but sad. She is most definitely an unwilling, unhappy and terrified bride. Tyrion is kind to Sansa, but treats her like a woman he is wooing; and Sansa is physically and emotionally too young to know how to handle his attraction to her, although she is aware of it. She is a dutiful bride, and (in a horrible and haunting scene) strips for his inspection and, though confused and scared, prepares to be 'bedded'. Sansa tries, rather heartbreakingly, to find something physically attractive about Tyrion, to follow her Septa's advice that all men have something beautiful about them, but she finds Tyrion physically repulsive. Tyrion then gives her the right to refuse him, and is angry when Sansa, in a long-overdue display of defiance, brings up the notion that she just might refuse sexual intimacy with him forever. During the months of their marriage, Sansa is loyal to her husband (until she flees, not knowing that Tyrion is accused of Joffrey's death) in their quarters and in public, and shares the same bed, but emotionally distant; because she cannot forget that he is a member of the same family that she trusted and who betrayed her trust by killing her father. Tyrion is kind to her and understanding, but cannot get Sansa to give him anything but duty, even interest in places he finds beautiful and meaningful. My own feeling is that if this marriage had continued, Tyrion might eventually have grown increasingly frustrated and angry with a wife who could not even give him platonic affection, and the potential for abuse was there. There is a chance that Sansa might eventually have matured enough to either mellow towards Tyrion or become a victim of Stockholm Syndrome and cling to him out of fear. And if Tywin had brought more pressure on Tyrion to impregnate Sansa, he might have had to rape her to do it, which might well have destroyed both of them.

[Manfryd Lothston]

Did society accept Brienne as a knight? I thought the whole point of her character was that it did not. ]

Then you missed the point. Throughout her tale, Brienne is continuously accepted as a knight, up to the point of being appointed to Renly's Rainbow Guard as one of the finest knights in his service. True, she had to work hard for it, and faced a measure of ridicule, but so did for instance Sam Tarly on account of him being fat and "craven", or Jon Snow for being a bastard, etc. Brienne wins recognition from the greats and commons alike (Renly, Jaime, her traveling companions), which goes to show that in Westeros if a woman wants to be a knight and is capable of being a knight, she can be a knight, and a very successful knight at that.

Did it accept Asha? She has to fight against the stereotype of her gender, and even then, she is still married off without her consent, and her brother cannot accept that his father favors her.

Again, the iron born had women sailors and even captains. Asha had no problem with being that. Moreover, she was given a position of leadership by Balon second only to himself and Victarion. Her men had no problem following her, which already speaks volumes about "gender roles" in the iron born society. But she wanted more - she wanted to be Queen, which is far-fetched even by modern standards (any women presidents in the USA?), and which is probably much more important than her gender - she was unfit to lead the ironborn. She mocked them with her gifts, and her entire claim to the throne was little more than criticism of what the other candidates had to offer. If Euron was female, he would likely still get the throne because he was giving the people what they wanted, and gender took second seat to that.

As to her marriage, it's been said many times already that in Westeros men were forced into political marriages just as often as women, so let's stop beating a dead horse.

As to Theon, his main gripe is not that Asha's female, but that according to law of succession he is the rightful heir. If Asha was the rightful heir, like in some societies (e.g. Dorne), Theon wouldn't be so upset.

Truth be told, I find this entire argument to be somewhat out of place. The logic of "you should not do this because it's a stereotype" is as ludicrous as "you should not do this because it's not a stereotype".

[Manfryd Lothston]

I think this is a very wrongheaded statement to make. Had Cersei been born a man, her entire life would have been different. She would have never been frustrated at the limitations placed on her, never envied her brothers the way she did. She thirsted for power her whole life, but could only ever possess it through a male proxy. You have to admit that she is very bothered by that. I personally believe that Cersei's gender issues are one of the major influences on her adult personality.]

What I meant to say was, if Cersei had been born a man, she'd likely be someone more like Joffrey than Jaime or Tywin. She has Joffrey's impatience, hardheadedness and cruelty, and none of Jaime's honor or Tywin's calm focus or Tyrion's sharp mind. If she were the Lannister heir, she'd muck it up like she did her Regency.

Were she born male, I'd wager that Tywin would have rewarded her ambition and ruthlessness with increased responsibility and, given his character, there is no doubt in my mind that he would have guided and mentored an ambitious son very closely.

.

Yes, like he did with his two actual sons. If Cersei had been a boy, Tywin would likely get frustrated with her negative qualities (see below) and would eventually use her as a chess piece like he used her brothers. He wasn't much of a father, if you hadn't noticed.

in mind that Cersei was never groomed to rule, she was supposed to be a wife. For all we know, Cersei was as ignorant as Sansa when she first arrrived at court (though I doubt it).

That is actually not really true. We know that during Childhood Cersei would often play the boy, exchanging clothes with Jaime and engaging in boy activities. As her memories of the visit to the old witch show, even as a child she was evil and selfish, she tortured Tyrion and killed her friend; yet back then she hadn't really been bothered by being a woman, she was perfectly content to marry the Targaryen prince. Not to say that gender didn't play a role - she was indeed jealous of not being the Lannister heir and not being treated the same as Jaime - but the matter of Cersei's psyche is much more complex than just a case of "penis envy" or anything like that.

[Iotun]

Then you missed the point. Throughout her tale, Brienne is continuously accepted as a knight, up to the point of being appointed to Renly's Rainbow Guard as one of the finest knights in his service. True, she had to work hard for it, and faced a measure of ridicule, but so did for instance Sam Tarly on account of him being fat and "craven", or Jon Snow for being a bastard, etc. Brienne wins recognition from the greats and commons alike (Renly, Jaime, her traveling companions), which goes to show that in Westeros if a woman wants to be a knight and is capable of being a knight, she can be a knight, and a very successful knight at that.

Again, the iron born had women sailors and even captains. Asha had no problem with being that. Moreover, she was given a position of leadership by Balon second only to himself and Victarion. Her men had no problem following her, which already speaks volumes about "gender roles" in the iron born society. But she wanted more - she wanted to be Queen, which is far-fetched even by modern standards (any women presidents in the USA?), and which is probably much more important than her gender - she was unfit to lead the ironborn. She mocked them with her gifts, and her entire claim to the throne was little more than criticism of what the other candidates had to offer. If Euron was female, he would likely still get the throne because he was giving the people what they wanted, and gender took second seat to that.

As to her marriage, it's been said many times already that in Westeros men were forced into political marriages just as often as women, so let's stop beating a dead horse.

As to Theon, his main gripe is not that Asha's female, but that according to law of succession he is the rightful heir. If Asha was the rightful heir, like in some societies (e.g. Dorne), Theon wouldn't be so upset.

Truth be told, I find this entire argument to be somewhat out of place. The logic of "you should not do this because it's a stereotype" is as ludicrous as "you should not do this because it's not a stereotype".

No offense, but you're over-stretching it. I'm not sure we're even reading the same books, it seems like you're willfully distorting the narrative to make a point.

[Manfryd Lothston]

No offense, but you're over-stretching it. I'm not sure we're even reading the same books, it seems like you're willfully distorting the narrative to make a point.

Can you be more concrete?

[mormont]

Can you be more concrete?

Not sure if he can, but I can.

It's simply not true that Brienne is ever socially accepted as a knight, at any point. For one thing, she is unable ever to be actually knighted because of her sex. Nor can she ever hold lands in her own right, and she would never be granted command, for example. After struggle, she sometimes gets recognition, but emphatically not the same recognition as a man would for the same achievements. She defeats Loras and wins the melee, for example, and it's mostly grumbled about rather than praised. All her 'acceptance' is qualified: it's always 'not bad for a wench', not 'well done'. (The same is true for Jon, on occasion - even Mance says that he liked him 'well enough, for a bastard'.)

More importantly, Brienne wins recognition only individually, not socially. She has to start again with each new person, and it's quite clear that some of them will simply never be won over no matter what she does. Jaime's eventual acceptance, qualified as it is, does her no good at all with Randyll Tarly.

As for Asha, the text directly contradicts your claim above that her conduct was 'probably much more important than her gender' in assessments of her fitness to rule. It's explicitly stated that her gender is the main barrier, many times.

[Iotun]

Can you be more concrete?

Well I've already given examples, and if your reading of those examples seems to be so vastly different from mine, I don't see the point in going back and forth on the same examples or quoting the book at length.

But just to be brief, I agree with what mormont said above for both examples. I think its crystal clear that Brienne is never accepted as a knight precisely because of her sex, and that Asha is distinctly the exception in her society that has had to be exceptionally good to be accepted the way she is. Further still, she is not accepted by her uncles nor her brother as a heir. As for Theon not caring because she is a woman but because of the 'law of succession' - please, Theon is not Stannis Baratheon to care simply about the strict letter of the law. Asha is older than Theon, the reason the 'law of succession' prevents her from being the heir is because she is a woman, and that is why Theon is bothered. If she were a man, there would be no question from anybody that she would be Balon's heir.

[Brienne the Beauty]

For one thing, she is unable ever to be actually knighted because of her sex. Nor can she ever hold lands in her own right, and she would never be granted command, for example.

I'm not sure she would never be granted command. But the lord who gave her a command would have to be really desperate, since even a middling male commander would gain the respect of his troops easier than Brienne, who would probably be excellent. The mediaeval equivalent of the "glass ceiling."

She could probably hold lands in her own right, since women can hold lands if they are the only heir (see Maege Mormont.) In fact, when Lord Selwyn dies she probably will hold Tarth, since she is his only heir.

[iamthedave]

Not sure if he can, but I can.

It's simply not true that Brienne is ever socially accepted as a knight, at any point. For one thing, she is unable ever to be actually knighted because of her sex. Nor can she ever hold lands in her own right, and she would never be granted command, for example. After struggle, she sometimes gets recognition, but emphatically not the same recognition as a man would for the same achievements. She defeats Loras and wins the melee, for example, and it's mostly grumbled about rather than praised. All her 'acceptance' is qualified: it's always 'not bad for a wench', not 'well done'. (The same is true for Jon, on occasion - even Mance says that he liked him 'well enough, for a bastard'.)

More importantly, Brienne wins recognition only individually, not socially. She has to start again with each new person, and it's quite clear that some of them will simply never be won over no matter what she does. Jaime's eventual acceptance, qualified as it is, does her no good at all with Randyll Tarly.

As for Asha, the text directly contradicts your claim above that her conduct was 'probably much more important than her gender' in assessments of her fitness to rule. It's explicitly stated that her gender is the main barrier, many times.

I'd add to that by saying that, narratively, a character's acceptance of Brienne is meant to be taken as a point in their favour.

There's genuine virtue in accepting her, entirely because most people won't.

[mormont]

I'm not sure she would never be granted command. But the lord who gave her a command would have to be really desperate, since even a middling male commander would gain the respect of his troops easier than Brienne, who would probably be excellent. The mediaeval equivalent of the "glass ceiling."

She could probably hold lands in her own right, since women can hold lands if they are the only heir (see Maege Mormont.) In fact, when Lord Selwyn dies she probably will hold Tarth, since she is his only heir.

Yeah, I was unclear there: what I was trying to get across was that unlike a knight or a male fighter, she has no prospect of being awarded lands for her service. Although that's not what I actually said at all. :P Apologies.

(She is of course heir to Tarth, separately from that, but again, if she married she would expect to lose effective control of those lands.)

[Brienne the Beauty]

Yeah, I was unclear there: what I was trying to get across was that unlike a knight or a male fighter, she has no prospect of being awarded lands for her service.

There is probably nothing technically stopping her from being awarded lands for her service. However, she'd need to do something truly exceptional. If she had succeeded in rescuing Sansa as per her oath to Catelyn, and the Red Wedding hadn't happened, I'm sure the Starks would have shown their gratefulness in an appropriate way.

[Lady Blackfish]

And she'd need to do it for someone more open-minded than a Randyll Tarly.

[Breakspear]

Yes, like he did with his two actual sons. If Cersei had been a boy, Tywin would likely get frustrated with her negative qualities (see below) and would eventually use her as a chess piece like he used her brothers. He wasn't much of a father, if you hadn't noticed.

This is true, but Jaime was never as ambitious or political as Tywin wanted him to be. Cersei is, but she never had the assistance from Tywin to develop those skills. The only reason for that is her gender. Tyrion is ambitious and political, but Tywin never really saw him as a son either, for reasons I don't need to point out.

It's worth noting that even though Jaime has shunned responsibility at every turn, Tywin still supports him and tries to drive him towards inheriting Casterly Rock, and despite his hatred for Tyrion, Tywin still makes him Hand of the King. Cersei gets no such treatment from her father.

she was indeed jealous of not being the Lannister heir and not being treated the same as Jaime - but the matter of Cersei's psyche is much more complex than just a case of "penis envy" or anything like that.

I don't doubt that it is more complicated than "penis envy", but her character and her motives are so heavily shaped by the role she has been forced into by her gender that it is difficult to know what kind of person she would be as a man.

[Manfryd Lothston]

It's simply not true that Brienne is ever socially accepted as a knight, at any point.

Do I have to quote the many instances when she is treated as a knight? I can if need be, but a reasonable discussion among people familiar with the subject matter presupposes a certain knowledge of the source material.

Brienne's knighthood is often treated with incredulity, to be sure, and on occasion openly challenged, but in most cases once people see her capacity as a knight they begin to look beyond her female exterior.

For one thing, she is unable ever to be actually knighted because of her sex.

Brienne was counted as a knight on the tourney:

She heard King Renly declare the Lady Brienne of Tarth the victor of the great melee at

Bitterbridge, last mounted of one hundred sixteen knights.[/b]

And Renly would have knighted when he accepted her into Rainbow guard. In any case, even if it wasn't ever formally done, Brienne got all the honors of a knight.

Nor can she ever hold lands in her own right

She absolutely can, both in her capacity as an heir (Tarth) and as nobility (should anyone grant her land).

and she would never be granted command, for example.

Danelle Lothston comes to mind as a woman who both ruled Harrenhall and commanded its army.

Brienne could have just as easily be granted command by Renly as accepted into the Rainbow Guard. Renly made it very clear that he values her as a most valiant knight.

After struggle, she sometimes gets recognition, but emphatically not the same recognition as a man would for the same achievements.

That depends. Some are definitely prejudiced towards her - e.g. Randyll Tarly, though he is generally known as a hard man (look how he treated his own son Sam). Others however recognise her feats fully enough (Renly). Still others offer grudging recognition (most of her traveling companions). Her gender certainly plays a role, and there is certainly a difference in treatment, but the key point, IMO, is that in the end she is accepted as a knight, though she has to work hard to prove it. Jaime often called her "wench", but he generally has a dirty tongue (see how he treats other people). And the Bloody Mummers can't be counted at all since they're basically inhuman.

She defeats Loras and wins the melee, for example, and it's mostly grumbled about rather than praised.

They explicitly grumble about her winning "unfairly" (by using un-tourneylike methods more suited to actual battlefield):

"That were no proper unhorsing," complained a drunken archer nearby, a Tyrell rose sewn on his jerkin. "A vile trick, pulling the lad down."

Brienne's achievement is openly acknowledged and rewarded by Renly, however.

All her 'acceptance' is qualified: it's always 'not bad for a wench', not 'well done'. (The same is true for Jon, on occasion - even Mance says that he liked him 'well enough, for a bastard'.)

The people in Westeros are usually not keen on dishing out praise, at least not the ones Brienne encountered. People mock even the likes of Gregor and Sandor Clegane, and Loras Tyrell received his share of badmouthing for the "dishonorable" tactic vs. Gregor. The ruling Lannisters are constantly mocked and cursed by the common folk.

Brienne's main problem is not that she's a woman per se; Seven Kingdoms knew other warrior women (e.g. White Fawn, Sand Snakes); but rather that she's so ugly:

No garb could disguise her plainness, though; the huge freckled hands, the wide flat face, the thrust of her teeth. Out of armor, her body seemed ungainly, broad of hip and thick of limb, with hunched muscular shoulders but no bosom to speak of. And it was clear from her every action that Brienne knew it, and suffered for it.

If Brienne was an ugly man, he'd be the butt of jokes for his ugliness, to be sure. See Tyrion.

More importantly, Brienne wins recognition only individually, not socially. She has to start again with each new person,

Well, since women knights are so rare (practically nonexistent), obviously Brienne would have to provide some backup to her claim to knighthood. But her imposing looks and knightly garb does a lot of convincing for her.

and it's quite clear that some of them will simply never be won over no matter what she does. Jaime's eventual acceptance, qualified as it is, does her no good at all with Randyll Tarly.

Actually Randyll did sort of recognise her deeds in the end, though he definitely didn't say it outloud and didn't change his negative disposition towards Brienne as a person. But if you read what he says, his treatment of her does change after she defeats Shagwell & Co. He's not a good example, though, since he's generally a very hard man and treats even his own son like crap.

As for Asha, the text directly contradicts your claim above that her conduct was 'probably much more important than her gender' in assessments of her fitness to rule. It's explicitly stated that her gender is the main barrier, many times.

No, it isn't "explicitly stated" to be the main barrier: it is brought up by her political opponents, but little more. She's well loved by her crew, and Balon had no qualms about putting her in charge of 30 longships, his second-largest force. The MAIN barrier is that she didn't offer the ironborn what they wanted. She brought them mocking gifts of sand and rocks, and her entire election spiel consisted of badmouthing the other candidates. By contrast, Euron's gifts were astonishingly rich, and his promises greatly enticing. The gender issue is second fiddle compared to that. If there was no Euron and no Victarion (who both offered more lucrative gifts and prospects), Asha might have had a chance of getting the throne; but those two were better candidates for leaders of the ironborn, pure and simple, and not because of gender.

[Iotun]

This is true, but Jaime was never as ambitious or political as Tywin wanted him to be. Cersei is, but she never had the assistance from Tywin to develop those skills. The only reason for that is her gender. Tyrion is ambitious and political, but Tywin never really saw him as a son either, for reasons I don't need to point out.

It's worth noting that even though Jaime has shunned responsibility at every turn, Tywin still supports him and tries to drive him towards inheriting Casterly Rock, and despite his hatred for Tyrion, Tywin still makes him Hand of the King. Cersei gets no such treatment from her father.

I don't doubt that it is more complicated than "penis envy", but her character and her motives are so heavily shaped by the role she has been forced into by her gender that it is difficult to know what kind of person she would be as a man.

Actually I think it very well could be mostly 'penis envy'. She more than once remarks that she should have been born a man, she tells Robert he should be the one wearing the skirts, she is constantly haunted by the prospect of living up to her father, a patriarchal figure - even her relationship with Jaime can be interpreted as her adoration of what so physically looks like a male reflection of herself.

Well... yes, its true, its far more complex than that, but I think 'penis envy' is one of the biggest influences that shape her.

[the andorran]

Since this is a thread ostensibly about feminism, can we try to avoid victim-blaming Cersei? This is the one thing that I will defend the woman in, as I really dislike her, but that doesn't mean that it was her fault that she was raped for years by her husband.

Certainly, Cersei was a terrible wife to Robert, and she contributed as much (if not more) than him to the very early deterioration of their marriage. However, that does not mean that it was understandable, justified, or acceptable for Robert to just take what he wanted from her. He had dozens of other women at his disposal if he wanted to get his rocks off. No, instead he used sex as a weapon to try to cow his wife, assert his power over her, and reinforce his own idea that he was entitled to Cersei's body whenever he wanted, regardless as to how she felt about the matter.

[Easy]

They're both kids. I can forgive kids a lot for their behaviour.

Don't expect them to have the wisdom of Maester Aemon or the cleverness of LF.

Missandei ftw!

[trio]

I can see Sansa getting revenge on Littlefinger, perhaps not at 13, but in a year or two or more; but only because Littlefinger has a lot more invested in Sansa, emotionally, then he ever did in Tywin, Varys, Cersei etc. If she could conceal her intent, and surprise him, Sansa would have a considerable, if brief, advantage over him.

I see this theory a lot. That in a couple of years Sansa will be ready to do something interesting.

This is not the type of series where I want to wait for a couple of story-years for someone to do something.

Quite beside the fact that I'm not at all sure that the last two books actually WILL span that long. And even if they do - I don't want to wait till the 7th book out of 7 for Sansa to "get one over on LF".

I'd rather she was killed off now, tbh, if I have to spend the rest of the series reading about her listening to conversations.

[mormont]

Do I have to quote the many instances when she is treated as a knight? I can if need be, but a reasonable discussion among people familiar with the subject matter presupposes a certain knowledge of the source material.

I'm very familiar with the source material, as I imagine are you. But 'treated as a knight', well, that's not exactly the same as 'accepted as a knight', is it? As I say, anyone familiar with the source material can't help but notice that Brienne's plotline is very much concerned with gender issues, with her desire to be a knight, and with the negative reactions she gets from society for the attempt.

Brienne's knighthood is often treated with incredulity, to be sure, and on occasion openly challenged, but in most cases once people see her capacity as a knight they begin to look beyond her female exterior.

Brienne was counted as a knight on the tourney:

She heard King Renly declare the Lady Brienne of Tarth the victor of the great melee at

Bitterbridge, last mounted of one hundred sixteen knights.[/b]

And Renly would have knighted when he accepted her into Rainbow guard. In any case, even if it wasn't ever formally done, Brienne got all the honors of a knight.

Brienne does not have a knighthood. Women cannot be knights.

Informally, yes, I'll grant that Renly allowed her to fight in a tourney and to take to the field of battle, too. But he certainly did not knight her, because women can't be knighted. In fact., Loras tells us that Renly thought she was "absurd" and "grotesque", "a woman dressed in man's mail, pretending to be a knight". He himself told Renly that "a woman had no place in the Rainbow guard". Do you maintain that they 'accepted her as a knight'? (ASOS, p759/760 in the UK HB).

Brienne could have just as easily be granted command by Renly as accepted into the Rainbow Guard.

Really? Then why wasn't she?

When the discussion of command was going on, Brienne's name never came up. There's a reason for that: can you imagine male knights accepting orders from her?

Renly made it very clear that he values her as a most valiant knight.

See above.

That depends. Some are definitely prejudiced towards her

In fact, pretty much everyone is prejudiced against her, and that is my point. Even those who eventually grant her grudging respect do so because she has overcome their prejudice, not because they never had any.

They explicitly grumble about her winning "unfairly" (by using un-tourneylike methods more suited to actual battlefield):

"That were no proper unhorsing," complained a drunken archer nearby, a Tyrell rose sewn on his jerkin. "A vile trick, pulling the lad down."

But as Jaime points out, nobody grumbled about Loras using a trick against the Mountain. And what Brienne did hardly even counts as 'unfair'. It's fairly clear that the grumbles are motivated by prejudice, at least in part.

The people in Westeros are usually not keen on dishing out praise, at least not the ones Brienne encountered. People mock even the likes of Gregor and Sandor Clegane, and Loras Tyrell received his share of badmouthing for the "dishonorable" tactic vs. Gregor. The ruling Lannisters are constantly mocked and cursed by the common folk.

This is kind of weak, sorry.

Brienne's main problem is not that she's a woman per se; Seven Kingdoms knew other warrior women (e.g. White Fawn, Sand Snakes); but rather that she's so ugly:

No garb could disguise her plainness, though; the huge freckled hands, the wide flat face, the thrust of her teeth. Out of armor, her body seemed ungainly, broad of hip and thick of limb, with hunched muscular shoulders but no bosom to speak of. And it was clear from her every action that Brienne knew it, and suffered for it.

If Brienne was an ugly man, he'd be the butt of jokes for his ugliness, to be sure. See Tyrion.

Actually, a much closer equivalent would be Sandor.

No, it isn't "explicitly stated" to be the main barrier

Yes, it is. When considering who to support for king, Aeron rules out Asha purely and simply on the basis that "no woman can rule the Ironborn" (AFFC, p31). He, and others of her political opponents, oppose her because she is a woman. They're not just using it as a debating point: it's pretty much the only reason she even has opposition. If she were a man, the only one who might even have challenged for the Seastone Chair would be Euron. There is simply no doubt that her gender is the main barrier.