Official Crackpot Theorist Sanctuary

[The Smiling Eye]

Eddard Stark's remains are smuggled out by a wildling infiltrator back beyond the Wall, and he is ressurected by the White Walkers, not as a Wight, but their leader. He becomes a White Walker himself. He shall serve the cold justice of the North. The real North.

[DornishKnight]

J'aqen is long dead; we never met him. We met Syrio (who is a FM) disguised as J'aqen.

[Puzzle]

Ooh! Got one!

Rhaegar is alive. He's one of the monks on the Quiet Isle. We never heard about what happened to his body, right? And the rubies from his armor have mostly washed up there. We read lots about bodies washing up there, people "dying" and being reborn naked into the world.

And, the rusted metal dragon head washed up there as well. I used to think this indicated that one of the three heads of the dragon would land on QI. But it's an indication that Rhaegar is there himself!

So, he was washed up there after Robert smashed him with the hammer, was healed, and is now monking it out with the rest of the bros in hiding. :ninja:

Seriously: I think Rhaegar is alive too- the constant mentioning of the rubies makes me think that the Rhaegar at the battle was a glamor.

Crackpot: Rhaegar is actually Daario-he just died his hair, just like "Aegon" did. Keeps in line with the Targ incest, and explains why Dany moons over him constantly.

[Lord Damian]

Well, some wench in Kings Landing should have checked Varys package in front of whitnesses for us to know. Who Knows.

[King Tyrion VIII]

Mance is Rhaegar Targaryen, it is known ^_^

It is known :)

For the record I love this idea. If only it could be true...

[King Tyrion VIII]

My crackpot theory is that the Iron Bank of Bravos is behind everything. Varys is working for them, causing havoc so that the 7 kingdoms plunge further into debt, while Illyrio does the same in Essos. For the hand the gives, is above the hand that takes.

The noble families are all political parties, each with their opposing parties(rival families). They constantly screw the small folk over but are still tolerated and even accepted by the smallfolk, until they get sick of them and cheer a new noble family to rule them, which almost always ends up with nothing much changing for the smallfolk(democratic elections).

The Citadel(funded by the IBB), is our education system, it has many benefits but at the same time is stealing magic(free/independent thought) from the world.

The whole series is one big bloody warning to us about the impending NWO!

What's that..? Alex Jones isn't the author of ASOI&F? My bad, I take it all back.. :)

I love how you managed to fit NWO and Alex Jones into a ASoIaF thread. I'm a huge AJ fan :)

[Vic-tarion Rattlehead]

Benjen Stark is Jon's actual father and Lyanna is the baby mama. That's why Benjen's at the Wall.

:bawl:

And I thought, that was my own theory, when I posted it a week ago on another thread...

[Vic-tarion Rattlehead]

Seriously: I think Rhaegar is alive too- the constant mentioning of the rubies makes me think that the Rhaegar at the battle was a glamor.

Crackpot: Rhaegar is actually Daario-he just died his hair, just like "Aegon" did. Keeps in line with the Targ incest, and explains why Dany moons over him constantly.

Actually, it's not THAT impossible - Robert hasn't bested Raegar at the Harrenhall tourney, so how that he succeeded killing him at the Trident? Robert also complained to Ned at the Crypts, that he wished he could kill Raegar again - a thousand times (maybe he hasn't killed him at all, and was eaten by the shame of his deception to the rest of the world?).

[Lyanna Stark]

Seriously: I think Rhaegar is alive too- the constant mentioning of the rubies makes me think that the Rhaegar at the battle was a glamor.

Crackpot: Rhaegar is actually Daario-he just died his hair, just like "Aegon" did. Keeps in line with the Targ incest, and explains why Dany moons over him constantly.

Well, it may at least be that Rhaegar has BEEN to the Quiet Isle. They have a high harp there and someone plays it (!!) but I think we're told that there were no teachers for Sansa to learn the high harp at Winterfell since apparently it's so solidly civilised and upper class they couldn't get it up in the northern wilderness. Rhaegar was known for playing the high harp too.

So why is there a random high harp with some random monks, I ask you???

[Cubicz]

here's a crackpot theory that just occured to me

We take it for fact that Lyanna actually died at the tower of Joy. I'd read a theory taht Ashara Dayne was that Septa with the stretchmarks in ADwD, but maybe that's Lyanna -exiled by Ned for dishonouring the family

[Teal'c]

Dany is not a Targaryen, she herself is the mummer's dragon.

Dany is Rhaegar's daughter, not sister.

Benjen or Brandon is Jon's father

Jaime is a Targ, but Cersei isn't (yes, I've seen that one floating around)

Jon's body will be healed and sewn and placed in a cavern under the wall. While his body is in limbo, he'll run around as Ghost gathering information then when the time is right, be reborn in his own body as some weird coldhands/other/wight/zombie combo.

Ive also put LOTS of thought into the direwolves names. (way more than I should have) I think each name is BEYOND important to where the stark children will end up (or have ended up already)

Greywind- fleeting, passes quickly

Nymeria- warrior, just

Summer- Lightbringer?

Lady- a silly name for a silly girl, but also the name of a queen...

Shaggydog- Silly name, Rickon will not be overly important to the finale but will be a strong fighter

Ghost- Jon snow will come back... many who saw him die will believe he is a ghost.

I had this theory as well, that the names of the direwolves would be the final dispositions of the Stark clan. However, Jon being dead because he named his wolf Ghost pissed me off so much that I clubbed this idea in the head and killed it. I love your twist on Jon, so I'm back on board.

Jon - dead people who saw him die will think he's a ghost. :) Much better.

Robb - blown away like a puff of smoke

Sansa - not a princess, not a queen, just a Lady to Lord Sandor

Arya - warrior queen who sails across the Narrow Sea and kicks ass

Bran - brings the endless Summer

Rickon - a shaggydog story

[Teal'c]

I've pictured Daeny flying to the wall many times, but I always imagined it'd be because she freely chose to help out.

What if she ends up at the Wall for the same reason everybody else does?!?!?!?!?!?

After the defeat of her forces, she can choose to fight on and die or fly north and take the black to live out her days at the wall.

It'd be a special situation, sure, on account of Drogon.

I'm picturing that someone will have figured out a surefire way to kill Drogon, so fighting on would mean sealing Drogon's death pointlessly.

He'd be at gunpoint, basically, already, when all of this was being negotiated.

But the southerners would still be understandably hesitant to put their lives on the line to test their dragon-kill method.

So they'd gladly accept it if Daeny defused the situation by taking her dragon off into the cold where it can do little harm.

So, even though she's a little more free to leave than most of the Wall's recruits, there she'd be at the Wall.

And the dragon would interact with the wall's magic in some long forgotten, long awaited way.

Maybe awakening a sleeper within the walls for her to make kissy faces at when he wakes up all dreamy eyed.

Drogon would charge up the old gods' batteries, or what have you, and electrify the fence against the undead. Jon would be grateful. Tongue all around.

There you go! Dany is Princess Charming. She will kiss Jon and wake him from his coma. :ack:

[Teal'c]

Coldhands is actually Brandon the Builder

He built the wall and started the NW

he then joined up as the 1st LC

he went out ranging and was killed by an other

instead of joining the others he used his undeadness to kill aload of them and to help the COF

"Your monster, Brandon Stark." Reads two ways, doesn't it?

[The Smiling Eye]

Jon Snow is Azor Ahai reborn

What, too boring?

[ServantOnIce]

Okay now with GRRM admitting Jon Connington is gay we know that Jon and Rhaegar were lovers and that Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna to be with her true lover . . .that is right . .. . . . . Doran Martell!!

Doran Martell and Lyanna are Jon Snow's parents!!!!

Tormmund Giantsbane is the father of all the Mormonts they are the offspring of his past trysts with a she bear.

Queen Dany will find out that Aerys II was not her real father but that Tywin Lannister is her real father!!!!!!!!!

Yes . .. she will find out when Tyrion gives her a blood transfusion . . . .

[BlueHighwind]

The planet of Ice and Fire has such bizarre seasonal cycles because it isn't actually a planet at all. Its actually a giant sphere built by aliens to hold the Others. The humans inside are just there to keep the Others in check. Also, if you watch the opening of the TV show, you'd notice that the world is like insideout, like everthing is curving outwards like you're inside a sphere, not outside of it. That's a subtle hint for the final twist of the series.

[Sweet-N-SourRobin]

Paraphrasing myself from another thread here where it better belongs:

Brienne Of Tarth Is Already Dead. The Breath Of Life and/or Lady Stoneheart's Vengeful Essence has transferred to Brienne's freshly hung corpse because it's bigger, stronger, and generally in better shape than what's left of Catelyn. There is no way the Brienne we've come to know would ever lie to someone like we readers know she's lying to Jamie when we last see her in his ADWD chapter; she's been the de facto heir to Ned Stark's crown of stubborn honesty, so for her to participate in luring Jamie into what is for us an obvious trap. We know where The Hound really is. We know where The Stark Girls really are. They're not going to any of those places. They're going to wherever the imposter wearing the Hound Helm is waiting for them, with a Jamie-sized noose. Speaking of which...

The Hound Helm is a Cursed Artifact/Supernaturally Evil. Okay, so we know that the monk at the quiet isle is speaking solely in spiritual/metaphorical terms when he says The Hound is dead and Sandor is at rest. The limping acolyte and the horse he tends seem to match up with Sandor and his famously ill-tempered horse. Sandor is not dead; in fact he has a new lease on life and it is merely his "Hound" persona that is dead. But the helmet he wore is still out there, and people are wearing it and acting like he did while he wore it, continuing his reign of terror (people still describe "The Hound" in action, assuming it to be Sandor as long as whoever has it doesn't open the visor). Rorge and Biter were already bad seeds, but Lem Lemoncloak picks it up at the end of AFFC and has already adopted Sandor The Hound's salty language as he ignores Thoros Of Myr's warning that there's nothing good about the helmet [looks like I agree with Thoros].

EDIT: Looking through the end of AFFC for evidence/trying to follow the helm, looks like this isn't really a crackpot theory; Thoros pretty much confirms that it's truly the case. And here I thought I'd come up with it on my own :) Ah Well.

[King Tyrion VIII]

Also, I stongly believe in the JojenPaste theory.

Lol @ JojenPaste.

[King Tyrion VIII]

I had this theory as well, that the names of the direwolves would be the final dispositions of the Stark clan. However, Jon being dead because he named his wolf Ghost pissed me off so much that I clubbed this idea in the head and killed it. I love your twist on Jon, so I'm back on board.

Jon - dead people who saw him die will think he's a ghost. :) Much better.

Robb - blown away like a puff of smoke

Sansa - not a princess, not a queen, just a Lady to Lord Sandor

Arya - warrior queen who sails across the Narrow Sea and kicks ass

Bran - brings the endless Summer

Rickon - a shaggydog story

This really could be true. And would be amazing if it is :)

[TheSpottedCat]

HERE IS MY CRACKPOT THEORY. I posted it right after reading adwd but it's time for primetime!!!

It's based on the idea that all of Melisandre's visions are true.

We know that Melisandre once saw visions in the flames of Stannis as Azor Ahai, being the one to stand up in the final battle against the The Great Other. That's why she came to him in the first place.

Lately, though, she's seen visions which clearly tell the reader that Jon's Azor Ahai ("I ask to see Azor Ahai, but I see only Snow,").

So, she's seen visions that both Jon and Stannis are Azor Ahai.

Later, she tells Jon that she saw a vision of him as man, then wolf, then man again. I'm thinking this means something that literally will happen (Jon will "be" himself, then warg ghost, then warg a human).

So here's where it gets ridiculous. Jon died at the end of adwd, but warged into ghost (ok not that crackpot yet). His body, however, is totally unrecoverable what with being riddled with holes, and it's burnt soon after the end of adwd. So, Jon is stuck in Ghost, and to fulfill Melisandre's vision, needs to eventually warg into another human vessel.

Now for the final twist: for some reason*, Jon ends up WARGING INTO STANNIS. That way, it's Jon in Stannis' body who eventually becomes Azor Ahai, and all of Melisandre's visions are proven true! I'ts only TOGETHER that Stannis/Jon can be Azor Ahai and save Westeros. :D

*So why would Ghost/Jon warg into Stannis? I can think of a few reasons. Maybe Stannis is dying, and Jon warging into him somehow saves him... Or maybe Stannis is about to do something horrible and Jon wants to stop him. Or maybe Jon finds out he needs to do it for some reason to fulfill his destiny.

In the Prologue chapter of ADWD, the one with Varamyr Sixskins, we are told that once a skinchanger wargs into someone or something else and then his real/original body dies, he is stuck into the human/animal he has warged into and cannot change his skin anymore. This is knowledge Varamyr has received from his mentor, another skinchanger, and I guess it's skinchanger lore, passed down among them. So far, we don't know if there is a way to bend these rules, or if certain individuals are powerful enough for this to not apply to them.