Worst Line in the Series?

[Khal Pono]

A little off-topic, but I warn you: be prepared for the possibility that the terrible old man Tywin will kill poor lovestruck Shae in order to punish Tyrion, therefore causing Imp to revenge his only true love. Alas, I can see it coming.

I was never in the book purist camp, but if the producers have the gall to do this, I will have to join the purists.

Keeping to the topic, I really hope that 'I am of the night' phrase was a kind of a joke from Martin's part. It sounds so lame that having read this, I instantly got inflamed with sudden hate toward Darkstar.

Reminds me of the circa 1990 song by Richard Marx called "The Children of the Night". That's not a good thing.

[Ravenhair]

“Three Oberyns, with teats.” (ADwD)

Is it supposed to be a sally? If so, it's awfully cheap. In its own chapter contest, it just screeches, and it makes a demeaning mockery at the same time of Doran, Arianne, Oberyn and the Sand Snakes – which I passionately love, every single one of them.

As for sex scenes, whenever I read “Jaime Jaime Jaime” (ASoS) I can't help adding King Robert's bellowing voice roaring “Shut up, woman!” - kind of distracting; and when you think that Cersei/Jaime should be the uttermost peak of sex perfection...

In general, if I had a dragon, I would burn the dictionary page with "wet"

You're the second poster to mention "wet." I don't understand the objection to an aroused woman being described as "wet." To paraphrase @Khal Pono, would you describe her as dry?

[The Roaring Bear]

AS useless as nipples on a breastplate.

While yes, they are useless, I cant help but think of the old 90's Batman movies and how all the Batman outfits had nipples on them. Everytime I read it I feel like GRRM is referencing those movies and it bugs me.

[Ravenhair]

The Lord's Kiss didn't bother me at all, other than it makes Ygritte sound like someone from the Beverly Hillbillies. I was happy to see that Jon Snow and Tyrion are at least written as knowing how to perform oral sex on a woman. And Theon once he became Reek. Frankly, Catelyn's "[h]er loins still ached from the urgency of his lovemaking..." combined with "o when they had finished, Ned rolled off..." always made me wonder if Ned was bad in bed. This description just did not sound like Catelyn was in any type of post-orgasmic, God is he good, kind of state.

I want to start a thread about what male character would give the best oral sex to a woman, but I think I'd be shut down.

[Punchslap]

"You know nothing Jon Snow"

This

[Khal Pono]

AS useless as nipples on a breastplate.

While yes, they are useless, I cant help but think of the old 90's Batman movies and how all the Batman outfits had nipples on them. Everytime I read it I feel like GRRM is referencing those movies and it bugs me.

He's a huge comic book fan and he is not beyond the insertion of pop culture inside jokes when it amuses him.

[Khal Pono]

I want to start a thread about what male character would give the best oral sex to a woman, but I think I'd be shut down.

BWAHAHAHA I would love that thread.

But I agree it would be shut down. My "Does Ramsay Bolton have sex with his dogs?" thread got canned after a couple pages of serious discussion.

[The Roaring Bear]

Oh yeah, I forgot about his love for comics. So yeah, he probably is referencing those Batman films with that line. Funny, but it will still bug me.

Also, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who wondered "When did this become an anime comic?" when Darkstar Muttered his "of the night" comment.

[Jolene Brown]

It's not like there's a great alternative to "wet," but maybe he just doesn't need to tell us about it so often. Do we need to know?

I was totally spoiled for ADWD before I read it, and I had seen all the discussion here of "where do whores go," and I thought for sure people must be exaggerating and it couldn't be THAT bad. It WAS that bad. Beyond the repetition, it just sounds sort of unnatural a lot of the time. At least "You know nothing, Jon Snow," and the "maid of three and ten with auburn hair," made sense in context, even if they were said too often. But "Where do whores go?" often felt inserted unnecessarily into Tyrion's thoughts or dialogue.

[Khal Pono]

It's not like there's a great alternative to "wet," but maybe he just doesn't need to tell us about it so often. Do we need to know?

I was totally spoiled for ADWD before I read it, and I had seen all the discussion here of "where do whores go," and I thought for sure people must be exaggerating and it couldn't be THAT bad. It WAS that bad. Beyond the repetition, it just sounds sort of unnatural a lot of the time. At least "You know nothing, Jon Snow," and the "maid of three and ten with auburn hair," made sense in context, even if they were said too often. But "Where do whores go?" often felt inserted unnecessarily into Tyrion's thoughts or dialogue.

It grated on me, but I found it plausible on a certain level because Tyrion has essentially been driven half-mad and wholly-drunk by the events that happened in Kings Landing.

So the relentless repetetition gives us insight into his obssession, and it grates on us, the way it tortures him :-)

Of course some of us would rather not have to suffer the same tortures as the characters!

[Catelyn's Treacherous Womb]

"That night Daario had her every way a man can have a woman, and she gave herself to him willingly."

[Ravenhair]

BWAHAHAHA I would love that thread.

But I agree it would be shut down. My "Does Ramsay Bolton have sex with his dogs?" thread got canned after a couple pages of serious discussion.

I thought that was a great thread, and there was lots of good discussion about Ramsay, Theon, and Jeyne. I posted on that thread. Sorry it was shut down.

So that I do not derail this thread, I'll have to add another worst line of the series--Every time a character eats or drinks and juice runs down his or her chin.

[Khal Pono]

I thought that was a great thread, and there was lots of good discussion about Ramsay, Theon, and Jeyne. I posted on that thread. Sorry it was shut down.

So that I do not derail this thread, I'll have to add another worst line of the series--Every time a character eats or drinks and juice runs down his or her chin.

LOL, thanks. I have some ideas on who would be the most talented at the Lord's kiss, but I will save them for another time.

And people are always getting teeth knocked out and biting their tongue so hard that it bleeds. I've been hit in the face many times and I've never lost teeth and only rarely bit my tongue so hard as draw blood.

But then again my life isn't so rough-and-tumble as that of most of the characters

[Catelyn's Treacherous Womb]

"Her small breasts moved freely beneath a painted Dothraki vest, and a curved dagger hung from her medallion belt."

I understand the context of the line but something about the emphasis on the breasts being small I find amusing (also, from what I remember, Quartheen gowns didn't sound particularly constricting). Small breasts won't move as much from just walking normally compared to average or larger sized breasts, so it seems funny to point how freely they are moving, as if they are bouncing and swaying from her (not even brisk) walking. I imagine it to be like if she was running in slow-motion, Baywatch style. I assume that's how GRRM pictured Dany's small, newly freed breasts.

[PatrickStormborn]

"His years in the Kingsguard had taught him the trick of listening without hearing, especially useful when the speaker was intent on proving that words were truly wind."

I find every reference to "words are wind" to be jarring, and this one is by far the worst offender.

[Lady Sansa Stark]

“I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo’s riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.''

and basically everytime she whines about being the rightful queen and taking what is hers with fire and blood.

Really, makes me want to kill her everytime.

[Kittykatknits]

I totally agree that Shae's betrayal will be even more shocking and upsetting since Shae is a more authentic character in the show. Some have conjectured that she won't betray him at all-that they'll just write that scene out of the show or change it to someone else, but that would just be criminal on the writers' part.

A little off-topic, but I warn you: be prepared for the possibility that the terrible old man Tywin will kill poor lovestruck Shae in order to punish Tyrion, therefore causing Imp to revenge his only true love. Alas, I can see it coming.

Keeping to the topic, I really hope that 'I am of the night' phrase was a kind of a joke from Martin's part. It sounds so lame that having read this, I instantly got inflamed with sudden hate toward Darkstar.

Tyrion on the Show: I think they will do whatever they can to make Saint Tyrion the Perfect come out looking as good as possible.

Darkstar, every word out of his mouth makes my teeth itch. I read something about Martin's reaction to Darkstar, I think it was a SSM, but Martin was surprised that fans were not more positive about Darkstar as he was a dark character in the same way that Jaime and Sandor were. I still don't know if he was actually being serious or if he was trolling.

[courser]

Why?

Because it is used too often...

[StannisBamfatheon]

“I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo’s riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.''

and basically everytime she whines about being the rightful queen and taking what is hers with fire and blood.

Really, makes me want to kill her everytime.

*Clapping GIF*

[MotherofFlagons]

Some of these are epic, the one I laugh still is in Theon's first chapter, "The wind tugged at his cloak like an insistent lover"