Jump to content

[ADwD Spoilers] Insane Crackpot Theories


Endless Summer

Recommended Posts

With news of invasion in the South, Cersei is going to summon the remaining forces in Riverrun to King's Landing to protect Tommen. Meanwhile Daven will marry his Frey Stoat at Riverrun with lots of Freys and the lesser Lannisters in attendance. Unfortunately also in attendance will be the BWB spies who will let in the BWB on mass along with Lady Stoneheart. The aftermath of which will be the South finally takes the idea of the dead coming back to life seriously, the cost of weddings in Westeros plummets as wedding invites are always refused and with no Lannisters left but Cersei, Jamie and Tyrion, then there will be no one to bother if Tyrion is Lord of Casterly Rock or not.

Also I foresee this as a Jamie POV, Lady Stoneheart having taken him captive and held so he could watch the demise of his family as she saw hers. (Obviously Brienne will save him and they can escape together).

Sadly as GRRM doesn't do poetic justice I can't see this happening.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In an absurd turn of events, Jon is neither Lyanna nor Ashara's son, but actually Catelyn's. She had an affair with Mance Rayder when he slipped in Winterfell one night. All that stuff we hear from Cat about hating Jon is a case of unreliable narrator because she fell into a coma after the affair and didn't wake up until after the birth. Ned only thinks Jon is his son/nephew because Bloodraven planted a dream in his mind that he had an affair/promised his sister to take care of her son. :idea:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes but the treenet doesn't have discussion boards where they can discuss and over-analyze prophecies to death, now do they?

i guess you have a point xD

EDIT

Shiera Seastar is Quaithe. It is known

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Danerys will sit on the iron throne for about five minutes before she decides that being in charge blows and abdicates, then she goes Targ-raving mad and moves to dragonstone to spend the rest of her days watching her dragons eat the locals.

Sandor gets out of rehab, burns his brother to a crisp, becomes King of the Wildlings, marries Val and has lots of half wild kids that terrorize the North.

The Boltons are dropped naked onto Skagos where they are eaten alive by unicorn riding cannibals.

Robert Strong goes nuts at Cersei's trail by combat and attacks everybody in attendence. Cersei converts the R'hllor and declares war on the Faith.

The Bank of Bravos decides they will never get repayment from the Iron Throne so they hire the Faceless men to kill Tommen and Mycella and put Young Griff on the throne.

The faceless men send Arya, who lies about not knowing the Lannisters, wargs into Jaime and strangles Cersei, then wargs into Ser Pounce who trips/pushes Tommen down the stairs and smothers Myrcell in her sleep.

Oh, and the dragons roast the Freys in the Twins ala Harrenhal. And the iron born all die in a tsunami caused by Big Belwas doing canonballs into the sea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Forget all those theories about Sansa finally growing girl balls and a brain and taking out Littlefinger. Tyrion kills Littlefinger: you know how that boy gets when he's been set up and betrayed. Homicidal, that is.

And for an encore he strangles Sansa with her hairnet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that the biggest shocker is going to be the revelation that dragons are fictional and Dany's just gone insane and has been imagining them. Everyone else she's met has just been too polite to say anything and has just been playing along.

Boy will Quentyn be relieved to hear that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...