Goodkind XXII: Better than Newcomb and Stanek

[PhelanArcetus]

Sadly I don't know ASP.NET... I've done a tiny bit with it, but really just coming up with a page that has some input fields, and passes those values to a DLL for calculation, then outputs the result.

My old name parser appears to be working, with much better code now than before, and I'm about to start the "grammar" file for Tairylibs.

[PhelanArcetus]

And a starting grammar file is completed.

Parsing tairylib.wcfg

Tairylibs

Automatic Sword of Truth story generator

Starting Token is TAIRYLIB

Dick and Klan are walking around in their traveling pants discussing characters who don't matter anymore, if they ever did. Suddenly a war breaks out. 42 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and he rips all their spines out. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by A Sister of the Dark... because women can rape women, I suppose but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who are all stupendously good blademasters... but not as good as Richard. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 35 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with representational designs involving a mace. When it looks like Richard is about to lose Nathan shows up and wins for Richard. Richard and Kahlan go off and discuss the price of tea in China while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Tairy splorts out 600 more pages.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their traveling pants building log cabins. Suddenly a war breaks out. 60 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and he kills them all with the Sword of Truth. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Jagang but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who only speak in jibber jabber. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 16 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with magic we've never heard of before... or will again. When it looks like Richard is about to lose Richard rip the villain's spine out, then lets the Silph finish the guy... who is somehow able to stand and attack. Richard and Kahlan go off and disappear into the woods and avoid their people while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Jagang conquers the world.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their traveling pants actually leading the army... yeah, right. Suddenly a war breaks out. 42 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and he rips all their spines out. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Jagang but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who are all stupendously good blademasters... but not as good as Richard. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 35 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with prophecy. When it looks like Richard is about to lose Richard joins the villain's football team. Richard and Kahlan go off and sentence some people to gang rape while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Tairy splorts out 600 more pages.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their traveling pants actually leading the army... yeah, right. Suddenly a war breaks out. 42 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and a bunch of Mord-Sith appear from nowhere to torture the enemy all to death. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by A Sister of the Dark... because women can rape women, I suppose but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who only speak in jibber jabber. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 9,558,647 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with pheasants. When it looks like Richard is about to lose Zedd shows up and shows why he's the Wind of Death. Richard and Kahlan go off and sentence some people to gang rape while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Richard is stolen away by a deus ex machina.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their traveling pants searching for something we've never heard of before. Suddenly a war breaks out. 60 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and he kills them all with the Sword of Truth. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by The Keeper but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who are all stupendously good blademasters... but not as good as Richard. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 16 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with prophecy. When it looks like Richard is about to lose Nathan shows up and wins for Richard. Richard and Kahlan go off and explain why Richard is always justified no matter what he does while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Richard is stolen away by a deus ex machina.

Now I just need to figure out how to make the program accessible. Damn my never learning how to handle cgi properly.

Edit: it's not as random as I'd like, unfortunately.

Edit 2: Fixed the randomness some. I've compiled something I think will operate correctly using my home computer as the web server... but the machine isn't responding as a web server, though it works for ssh and ftp. And I can't get at it to check if I configured it right for web serving until tonight.

[The Real Will]

Alright, I've fixed it... I think. I can't really test it with other people at the same time, being as there is only one of me. But, please feel free to have a go. It is still the same address.

Just so as I'm not only posting about my technical woes. I am going to take it upon myself to choose my title now. I hereby declare myself Tender of Goats, Keeper of the Standard Melon, the Never Kicked, the Almost Raped, Grand High Arch-Choirboy of the Church of Discordant Lemmings.

[Maltaran]

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants drinking. Suddenly a war breaks out. 10 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers act like a centipede. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by WLU but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who sing. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 6 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with halberd. When it looks like the evil one is about to win a war breaks out. Richard and Kahlan go off and save themselves for marriage while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: the most important book you'll ever read.

[chionophile]

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants almost-raping. Suddenly a war breaks out. Eight members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers eat some testicles. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Jagangbang but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who jibber-jabber. Richard makes a speech that goes on for seven pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with jaw-kick. When it looks like the evil one is about to win a spine is ripped out.. Richard and Kahlan go off and blow melon sized holes in people while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Commie Pinko Lemmings of Lies.

[word]

This is fun, even though it told me my celery was at an all-time low during my second time around.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants eating testicle mcnuggets..Suddenly a war breaks out. 169.3 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers attempt to destroy him with their peace-loving hippie ways. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Tairy Douchekind but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who almost-rape individualists over and over again. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 937 and 1/2 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with fucking machine gun. When it looks like the evil one is about to win Dickface Rahl rips out the pinko commie vegetarians spine and force feeds him beef by sticking it up his anus. Richard and Kahlan go off and preach about objectivism and individiuality while at the same time kicking defenseless children in the face while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Tairy Douchekind is a Douche - the Memoirs of a Retired Lemming.

[potsherds]

Oh wow. Tairylibs are awesome.

[fafner]

Thank you. We have computed the results of your test and your moral celery level is as follows: You are the Celarious One himself. All bow that you might kick their jaws.

Thank you for participating. We have prepared a short tale for you by way of thanks.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants molesting goats. Suddenly a war breaks out. the number of digits in pi members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers shit themselves. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by reading tairy but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who Tairy's yearded mother. Richard makes a speech that goes on for drinking pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with one. When it looks like the evil one is about to win sword. Richard and Kahlan go off and the vegetarians wrists snap against his noble chest while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: kicking jaws.

[WLU]

Oh wow. Tairylibs are awesome.

Tairylibs = madlibs

_{Tairylibs = madlibs}

^libs=====^libs

Tairylibs = madlibs

libs=====libs

Tairy=mad

I just mathematically proved the insanity of Tairy Goodkind. You are all welcome.

This is why I shouldn't program. Sure, it works, but it's ugly as a namblecock.

[Maltaran]

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants watching Flash Gordon. Suddenly a war breaks out. 314159 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers almost-rape him repeatedly. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Long John Silver but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who enact their emotions through interpretative dance. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 215987 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with boomstick. When it looks like the evil one is about to win Richard makes a long-winded speech. Richard and Kahlan go off and almost-rape each other while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: Goats and Chickens: sworn enemies or just misunderstood?.

[Myshkin]

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants ripping out spines. Suddenly a war breaks out. as many as it took members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers almost-rape everyone in the room. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by Bill Clinton but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who give to charity. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 400 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with stick of virgin celery. When it looks like the evil one is about to win a war breaks out. Richard and Kahlan go off and masterbate to the audio books of Ayn Rand while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: The Greatest and Most awesome book EVER.

[The Pita]

But it doesn't cover the nobility of human spirit like Faith of the fallen!

Wait...

Does it include gang-rape?

On a non-related note...

Sprinting over the freeway, attacking with a bladed baseball bat, cometh Pita Of The Bread! And he gives a bloodthirsty grunt:

"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I pillage like a mad dog who can only get madder!!!"

[Tormund Ukrainesbane]

Tairy libs are fantastic!

Thank you. We have computed the results of your test and your moral celery level is as follows: You are the Celarious One himself. All bow that you might kick their jaws.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants. Suddenly a war breaks out. 27 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers eat shit and die. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by your mom but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who smoke weed. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 300 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with the electric buttplug of doom. When it looks like the evil one is about to win the great man begins to make a speech. Richard and Kahlan go off and practice cannibalism while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: There and back again. Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the yeard.

[The Wolf Maid]

Will, thanks for putting this up! Min, I suggest, if possible, you put this one up in your blog.

Will, you this thread.

[The Wolf Maid]

And, oh, this is what I got:

Thank you. We have computed the results of your test and your moral celery level is as follows: You are an abysmal and uncelarious creature

Thank you for participating. We have prepared a short tale for you by way of thanks.

Dick and Klan are walking around in their travelling pants Mad Moose. Suddenly a war breaks out. 50 members of the Imperial Order are preparing to attack them. Richard's thing rises and the soldiers burn the place down. Kahlan is kidnapped and almost-raped by The Wolf Maid but is saved at the last moment by a convenient deus ex machina. While searching for his True Love, Richard finds a village full of people who have glorious intellectual orgies. Richard makes a speech that goes on for 2 pages and the villagers all abandon their individuality commie pinko ways to help him find Kahlan. Richard finds the evil villain who attacks him with a big stick. When it looks like the evil one is about to win they have sex. Richard and Kahlan go off and have BDSM sex while the war continues to be ignored. Next volume: the Sword of Truth.

[Dycedarg]

Well, I drop off the net for a day and see that the generator is clicking along nicely. Great job to the most celerious lemmings who made it work. Actually, I'd been thinking of something where the generator selects possible answers for each section from a premade list but this way works even better.

[Mad Monkey]

Actually, improving on someone else's idea is not 'nice' OR 'great'. You would be perfectly within your rights to go over to Will's house and burn it down. That's what Howard Roarke would do.

[Piper]

Actually, improving on someone else's idea is not 'nice' OR 'great'. You would be perfectly within your rights to go over to Will's house and burn it down. That's what Howard Roarke would do.

Roarke is a wuss. Richard would rip out his spine, then burn down his house.

Speaking of fire, shouldn't we be declaring fire one of the most celerous things in the world? Not only does it kick everyone's ass, it was the subject of that, er, moving speech by Michael, who (surprise surprise) turned out to be evil?

[The Wolf Maid]

Fire is for death choosers.

[Caligula_K]

Fire is for death choosers.

A contradiction. Since Michael tried to ban it (and he's EVIL), and the crowd's tears flowed freely (note that the crowd acted as one pinko commie entity), it is implied that lack of fire is for death choosers, and that one can only live life freely and in an individual manner by use of fire- arsonists are in fact choosing life.