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About Myshkin

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    Just You Shut Your Mouth
  • Birthday 08/19/1981

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  1. So I thought I’d bring a quick update from the Branch Trumpidian compound: 1) Trump is back, baby! His CPAC speech will mark a turning point in human history. He may even use the (Nazi symbol shaped) platform to reveal that he is, in fact, still the president. 2) Beijing Joe (do Trumpers not understand alliteration? Any of you seen Club Dread, where they tell a story about a machete wielding killer named Phil Colletti, and instead of calling him Machete Colletti, they call him Machete Phil?) has had objectively the worst first month in presidential history. Libs won’t admit it, but they’re all shitting their gender neutral diapers at how badly they fucked up by voting for him. 3) They’ve moved on from misunderstanding the works of Orwell to misunderstanding the works of Vonnegut. Guys, Kurt Vonnegut was definitely not on your side. 4) Kristi Noem is hot! She probably said some cool stuff at CPAC too, but mostly she’s hot. Also, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert are, you guessed it, hot! All of them should run for president and also kiss each other.
  2. Yup. Dude will still only be 36 when this 14yr contract ends. The Mets will still be paying Bobby Bonilla. Also, it’s the largest pre-arb contract by nearly $200mm.
  3. To explain: the Friars have signed Fernando Tatis Jr. to a 14yr/$340mm contract. Pretty damn good move, if you ask me. Meanwhile, the Cubbies are getting the band back together with the signing of super ace extraordinaire Jake Arrieta.
  4. I would like to amend my previous statement re: giving a shit. If you are the illegitimate love child of Razor Ramon I am slightly interested.
  5. If you ain’t the illegitimate love child of Jake “The Snake” Roberts then I don’t give a shit.
  6. Is Tommy Tuberville the stupidest person on earth? Yes, yes he is. I thought I’d bring an update on conservative wacko world, even though the past few weeks they’ve reverted to the usual griping about “cancel culture”, “woke-ism”, and Democrats being hypocrites about uniting the country because they won’t let go of the ancient crimes that happened a few weeks ago. But today a new wrinkle emerged: it would seem that the Capitol riot was actually the fault of none other than Nancy Pelosi. You see, good old Nancy was informed by the FBI (or the NSA depending on who you ask) about the Capitol riot weeks, or maybe months, in advance, and rather than doing anything to stop it she called all the antifas she knows and told them to go crazy. It seems so obvious in retrospect!
  7. The luxury tax is bullshit anyway. Every team should be adding 5years and $2.5mm onto the back end of every contract, with an opt out just before that section kicks in. I’m not sold on Bauer at all as an ace, so I’m glad it’s a short contract. Wouldn’t be happy if we were stuck with him for 9 years or something.
  8. Also, Braves re-sign Ozuna at 4 yrs/$65mm.
  9. Bauer to Dodgers, 3 yrs/$102mm, with opt outs after each of the first 2 seasons. Breakdown is $40mm year one, $45mm year two, and $17mm year three, which pretty much guarantees he opts out after year two. Unless his arm falls off. Incredibly, the Mets offered $105mm over the same length and with the same opt outs, though the Dodger contract is more front loaded.
  10. Myshkin

    Lit Prizes

    Also, Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Fiction shortlist: A Burning By Megha Majumdar Deacon King Kong by James McBride Homeland Elegies by Ayad Akhtar Winner announced Feb. 4
  11. Myshkin

    Lit Prizes

    National Book Critics Circle Award fiction shortlist: Inside Story by Martin Amis If I Had Two Wings by Randall Kenan Hamnet by Maggie O’Ferrell How to Pronounce Knife by Souvankham Thammavongsa Memorial by Bryan Washington Winner announced March 25
  12. Well with the Cubs punting, I guess it makes sense for the Cards to do something big. But I mean, good luck catching the Dodgers, Padres, and Braves anytime soon.
  13. Don’t you mean “we’re”? Or are you one of those warm-bloods?
  14. Listen pal, how would you feel if some filthy plebeian, blatantly ignoring the black tie dress code, waltzed in to your favorite Monte Carlo casino, guzzled down a Bud Lite, and wiped you out at the Baccarat table? I bet you wouldn’t hesitate to call in the gendarmes!
  15. Listen, all I know about this GameStop stuff is that the bros at r/WallStreetBets are “going to the moon, boys!”, whatever that means.
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