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Lizard Queen

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About Lizard Queen

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  1. I need to get started with this dissection assignment... It makes me nervous. It's not the gross stuff as much as the fact that if I make a bad cut, I can't un-cut it lol.
  2. I think my robovacuum was one of the best purchases I've ever made, ha. The more I can pass off cleaning to machines, the cleaner my space will be... I just have to pick up cat toys before I run it and take maybe 1-3 minutes to clean its parts out after it's done; dump out the bin, and pull hair and whatever other debris out of the brushes. Much faster and lacking in effort than manually sweeping or vacuuming the place, so my floors are cleaned everyday now. (And I definitely recommend cleaning out all the parts before use to anyone who might be interested in one of these guys)
  3. I don't know if I'm weird, but I honestly feel like I don't care if I ever "find love". I'm happy being single. I feel like I just need friends. The only thing that concerns me is that I may not have children and regret it? I could adopt I suppose, but I don't know how I feel about single parenthood... Anywho. It seems like the older I get, the less I care about a romantic relationship and romantic love
  4. I've wondered this a little from time to time. I'm really not sure. For the most part I was doing things as I'd wished to do them. I might have tried to do things I suspected would help me have achieve a better balance between work and school so that I could have gone out more.
  5. Long vent... Are there spoiler boxes ? Edit: Yes there are!
  6. (Sorry for the late reply~ ) So it would seem (regarding St Paul) That surprises me with St Cloud -- I think that's not quite 1.5 hours away from the Twins, haha. Once in awhile my family would go to Tampa (which was about as far away from our home as St Cloud is from the Twins) for something fun we couldn't do in our town. And I think we all partly just wanted to get our of town for a bit. The person is from rural NY, actually. I want them to tell me more about their community, but we've not ended up on the topic and I guess I don't tend to like changing subjects, haha. Might just do it anyway (hm, should I ask about the lawn couch thing? kidding).
  7. I've made an online friend while in quarantine. I think he said he's always lived in his small town. NYC is 3 hours away from him, but he said he's never been. I asked which states he's visited and he listed 2-3 states that I think just neighbor his. We've been on the subject of food, and he said there are lots of things he's not tried. He said he'd never had cheesecake until his 20's. He once told me he was eating fish sticks, and I asked if there was tartar sauce (I love tartar with fried fish) and he said he'd never had it. When I mentioned salmon and catfish a little later in the conversation, he said he'd never had them either. I think he mostly eats the stuff he grew up eating. I grew up in a small/small-ish town in Florida, but it was a transplant area and a tourist area. It seemed like few us were more than first generation Floridians. Most people seemed like they'd come from far away states, or their parents did. Between that and the tourists coming in from all over, the "personality" of the town was probably a little more on the adventurous/open to novelty side. The other places I've lived in were all mid-to-large sized university towns/cities that also had a lot transplants, including internationals. I live in St Paul, MN now. When I've gotten on the subject of traveling with others, it seems like many people have been far and wide across the country and have also internationally traveled (even to multiple countries). I feel like I'm under-traveled compared to most people I meet lol. I've never left the US and the number of states I've spent a significant amount of time in (by visiting or living there) is 9 if you don't count the places I drove through when I moved here from around the AL-FL border (I did no more in those states than drive through, get gas, or sleep in a hotel). I don't mean this in derogatory way at all, but the degree of sheltered that this friend has is honestly foreign to me, even to the point of it feeling strange...
  8. I feel like I'm struggling to feel a comfortable sense of normalcy lately. As in, I just tend to feel weird and un-anchored to anything. I feel like any new changes somewhat perturb me easily, and I'm a more go-with-the-flow sort who generally adjusts to changes well. My roommate's new boyfriend physically spent about the half the week in here for about two weeks in a row and it got to me (lol). I complained, and while I didn't mean I wanted him to never return, she's not had him back here since. I made a new friend and the sudden daily conversations with them made me feel weird. I tried online dating again but pretty much quit a week into it for feeling weird. But I've felt weird even when nothing new was happening too at times, or that I noticed anyway. I think lot of this might have to do with the fact that I'm back in school when I definitely spent most my life up to this point in school. My college years had the same basic routine -- worked nearly full-time, and mostly in person, full-time classes. Now I do online classes, I'm not working, and I'm at home most the time. I think going back to something that was very normal for me in such a different way is probably what's causing me to feel strange. I also lost that other friend very early on at the start of school. In other vents, I keep struggling with self-motivation at home...
  9. I've been much more social in recent years (well, not really during the pandemic, obviously) since I've overcome much of my shyness. I see people as being more screwed up than I used to. That sounds disparaging, but I don't mean that way. I think people have their own wonderful traits too. I also think many of our good and bad tendencies come from the same places within us. Everyone's flawed and damaged though -- I don't think that's an issue if you're holding your own and treating other people with dignity. I had low self-esteem and was intimidated by other people. Seeing other people as being much more flawed than I used to has been comforting over disappointing (for the aforementioned reasons). At this point, I feel like I'm about as perfect/imperfect as the next guy, so there's no reason to worry about myself.
  10. Quarantine wasn't too bad for me at the start. I lost a friendship early in September and it's been surprisingly emotional for me (which I'm not ashamed of or anything). I've been on this sort of emotional roller coaster ride since it happened, though I think it's more or less done now. But I'm sure the stress added from covid is just making sad occurrences and situations in our lives more difficult to (respectively) bounce back from or tolerate...
  11. Hi Theda, There's no criteria anyone needs to meet to go to a therapist. Therapists are basically, well, emotional counselors. They consult with others to find ways to manage distressing or uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Also, depression can result from sources other than trauma. There are medical conditions that can cause depression. Some medications can cause it, too. There are also mood disorders. People can also get it from life circumstances that may not seem traumatic. (I hope I don't frighten you with some of these possibilities). Regardless, there must be some cause for these feelings and a therapist could help you find ways to manage them to feel better.
  12. Jesus Christ, my cat growled much louder than I've heard a cat do. I was laying in bed with ear plugs in, and I heard his growl with no issue. He was a few feet away from me, but I hadn't removed the blankets from my head by that point, so between that and my muffled hearing I was just thinking "what the hell was that noise?" I removed one of the ear plugs, and I heard the noise again, but it wasn't as loud. With one ear free, it sounded like a chainsaw in the distance, but it must have been 7-ish in the morning. I heard the noise again, but this time I finally rolled over and looked out. My cat was sitting across the room with something dark in his mouth. One of the cats caught a mouse a couple of weeks ago, so I just wondered if he had one. Turned out he did. I got him to drop it by shoving a broom at him a few times. He is afraid of the broom, and flees when he sees me grab it. The fact that I touched him with it several times (he was backed into a corner of my closet at the time) before he finally dropped the mouse and escaped said something lol. Anyway, that growl though... It was loud. I have never heard a cat growl that loudly before, honestly not even close.
  13. LOL. On this other forum I go to, there is a thread for people to post small facts about themselves. I posted that I am 112 lbs and this guy who said in the thread that he's 6'6" tall replied, saying he used to weigh 3x as much as me. I joked that he could have played a tossing game with me. He said he still could, I think with a winky face. He then proceeded to DM me and now he's flirting. LOL
  14. The whole emotional storm (lol) passed by Sunday night. I started feeling just upset out of nowhere after I got out of class on Saturday. I did not feel good emotionally for the rest of the time, and the weird thing was, I honestly didn't know where the hell it was all coming from. I've had some drama with a friendship that's pretty much come to end recently, and I suspected that and some stuff the friend told me (that upset me) the previous weekend hit some tender, baggage-y spot, which I then emoted this last weekend. I spoke with my therapist about it on Tuesday. She said this actually normal. I don't recall exactly what she said as I was groggy and inattentive, and so got confused . But it sounded like, on top of getting emotional over stuff that reminds of negative events from childhood, we also might emote because for whatever reason our body/brain has decided now's a good time to emote those negative feelings we have from that part of our past. And the weird thing is, when it happens, you may not have thoughts of anything that's upset you recently or even distantly in the past. This is what happened to me. I just had all these negative emotions floating around, but there were no thoughts about anything that's made me unhappy attached to them... so I didn't definitively know what set the emotions off, I only had my speculation. It was all bizarre to me! I had been sad last week after the crap with my friend. Felt like I was getting into a rut. I think my mind had more related emotions to process, but I was busy last week and needed to focus on a lot of things, so it held back on the processing. And then, when I wasn't as busy over the weekend, it let the feels fly lol. I once went into a haunted house as a kid. I initially started feeling fear, but somehow pushed my emotions back and so I went through the house very calmly. But as soon as we got out the exit door, all these nasty emotions dumped down on me and I cried. I think that's basically what happened here.
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