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First of My Name Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 condoms.' Volume 28: Someone executed the king! 'Find him, you foolish cockatrice!' screeched Halfdan to his new detective, monseigneur Cockatrice. Cockatrice gasped for regaining his composure. He mused how Halfdan would filibuster by breaking guest seats. 'What are you inhaling?' asked frog-hatted, peculiar Halfdan. 'Exhaust yourselves if you must, but leave something for the mudbloods to intoxicate everyone," said Kamina. "There's something special about her cooking," muttered Halfdan. He solemnly swore to avenge his uncle's murder. King Sagoro audibly cringed as Naomi ripped her stuffed bodice, leaking slime everywhere. "Why expose your chest?" Monseigneur Cockatrice pretended to be dead so that Naomi exposed herself some more. "Yes! Now go zigzag across town on your electric quest," whispered Monseigneur Cockatrice. Naomi kissed the detective on his nose before pissing in it. Cockatrice was enamoured with her, but she despised him violently. They tumbled through erotic fields, under a vermillion sky. Meanwhile, Halfdan touched stuff, causing eruptions that destroyed half the evidence. "Bloody peasant!", the arsonist spat on the floor, causing Cockatrice to climax all over Naomi. Disgusted, she killed the Arsonist. "Great Warlus has helped me make very wriggly man love," exclaimed Monseigneur Cockatrice, coming brilliantly to the peek of ecstacy. "Phew, now shit is going to hit hard," said Princess Mushroom. The king envied his living dead brony, because feminists avoided caricatures and Disney mother-tragedies. "If pumpernickel were calamari monsters, then lizard-lions will feed upon the sensual entrails." However, Santa intervened by threatening to murder every child if Halfdan celebrated Christmas sloppily. Thus, Princess Mushroom stole the holy grail and fled. "If you circumnavigate Mars, she is condemned," said Santa. "You titillate mate, silly mushroom sex-goddess." He ripped several handfuls of flesh from shark-penises while eating nutella. Soon after the marriage, Monseigneur Cockatrice proposed that everyone apotheosize him, because shit is going ruin the eyeballs of all. Especially now that typhoons will rage across nudist colonies, spreading debris. Everyone booked their flagon of urine. Popcorn was Brigadier General Pompous Pete's favorite bowtie scarecrow cuisine. Lucius' triumvirate of Mordor sandwiches chose tune over whale bacon consistently. Halfdan brought Brigadier General Pompous Pete down with clowns, removing clothes angrily. "You procrastinating luminaries, how dare you drag my sandwiches through French toast? Don't disrepect watery owls without condoms.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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